And You Run Into Fires

Kyle sat on his desk chair as Danny flipped through the clothes in his closet. "You have cooler clothes than I do," Danny complained as he pulled out a skeleton costume.

"It's because your parents always dress you in khakis and polo shirts," Kyle replied. "I wouldn't consider a skeleton costume cool either."

"Stupid Halloween," Danny said.

"Only because you don't celebrate it."

"Tell me about it," Danny said as he flopped down on Kyle's bed. "Secular holiday," Danny said in a high pitched and mocking voice.

"It's overrated anyway," Kyle said. "Plus, I give you like ninety percent of my candy anyway."

"Yes, you do," Danny answered rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Who are you going to be this year?"

"Baby Groot," Kyle answered.

"Guardians of the Galaxy. Cool."

"But, I'm not sure if I'm going to trick or treat or not."

"Then what's the costume for?"

"A party. Melanie Hardwick is having a Halloween party at her house the Saturday before Halloween."

"Is she in your class?"

"Yep and she's super smart."

"Smarter than even you?" Danny asked.

"I think so."

"Damn, that's impressive. Wish I could go to the party too."

"I could ask her. She's really nice I doubt she would care if I brought a friend." Kyle offered.

"Right, like my parents would allow that to happen."

"Doesn't your temple have some kind of fun night or carnival the weekend before Halloween?"

"Yeah, they try, but for once I'd like to go all nonspiritual and normal." Danny said as he disentangled the yarmulke from the clips that held it in place and pulled it off his head. "We are so old order."

"You are so orthodox," Kyle said with a smile as he took the head covering from his friend and put it on his own head. "We can trade for a night and you can go to the party instead of me."

"Like that would work. You're a little too pale, a little too blue eyed and your hair is too light brown. But thanks for the offer." He said as his phone chirped.

"There's pale, blue eyed Jews," Kyle protested.

"Yeah, well not in my crowd." Danny sighed. "My mom. She and my sister are down at the thrift store on the corner and are almost finished. They want me to meet them there, so we can go over to Aunt Ruth's apartment and then to the Kosher grocery store by her house. I have to help carry the bags."

"I can help carry bags too," Kyle offered.

"I wouldn't subject you, my best friend in the whole world, to my Aunt Ruth. She is like a hundred years old and has candy that's as old as she is that she tries to shove down your throat. Then talks about the old days and how the world has changed, blah, blah, blah."

"Well, how about I walk with you to the thrift store. Maybe we can find something cool for you to wear."

"Like this?" Danny asked as he pulled a t-shirt out of the laundry basket on the floor showing the fighting goat of 81.

"Take it," Kyle offered.

"It's too small. Your clothes are like from the Baby Gap."

"I'm late bloomer," Kyle said as he looked down at his body, holding the yarmulke in place so it wouldn't slide off. He was smaller than other boys his age, but he figured he was taking after his mom at this point and would be catching up to his peers soon enough. At least he hoped so.

"I'll ask my dad if there are any more in a bigger size." He told Danny as they made their way to the kitchen. "Hey Dad, I'm going to walk with Danny down to 'Wear It Again Sam'."

"The thrift store?" Gabby asked.

"Yep," Kyle said as he tossed Danny's yarmulke back to him and began to walk towards the front door.

"Freeze." Matt ordered. "First of all, you don't tell us what you're going to do, you ask."

Kyle let out a deep sigh as Danny smiled. "Can I walk down to the store with Danny?"

"Yes, you may. But don't go anywhere else. Do you have your phone on you?" Kyle pulled it out and showed his audience. "Don't be too long."

"I won't," Kyle replied with enough of an edge to it that Matt looked over at him with a warning glare.

"Bye Matt, Gabby," Danny said trying to break up the sudden tension that had descended on the room. He had always called them Mr. and Mrs. Casey but after Matt continued to tell him it was okay to use first names he finally did unless his parents were around, then Danny felt more comfortable using formality. "See you later Dan the man," Matt said giving him a fist bump.

Danny liked hanging out at Kyle's house. His own parents hadn't married until they were in their late thirty's and hadn't had him until they were both in their early forty's. Being in the Casey home was like a breath of young, fresh air.

The two walked down the street like only two young boys can. Full of energy that bounced off of everything around them. They laughed as they pushed each other, and pointed at things around them that they suddenly found hilarious. As they passed by the alley that Ben hung out in they noticed it was empty. "I bet he's out panhandling or scoring some drugs." Danny said.

"Don't do drugs," both the boys said simultaneously and then laughed.

"But seriously, he is the best anti-drug poster every." Kyle said.

"Yeah in 3D too. Do you remember when we first met?" Danny asked changing the subject. Kyle scrunched up his features as he thought about it. "Those kids were picking on me." Danny continued as he adjusted one of the clips that held his skull cap on.

"Oh yeah, they stole that," Kyle said pointing to his friend's head covering.

"Yep, and were calling me Jewtard, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean."

"I think they were pretty proud of coming up with that name all on their own."

"You, were smaller than me—and still are," Danny said, once again reminding Kyle of his stature. "But you marched right over and grabbed my yarmulke and handed it back to me. Told them to fuck off," Danny said laughing. "I couldn't believe you had said the F-word. They just turned and left."

"Two targets aren't as easy as one."

"No, it was more than that. You scared them. It didn't matter that they were taller than you, older than you, and out weighed you. You took charge, you showed no fear. And that scared them.

"We hadn't lived in the neighborhood long before you came along. We weren't our element anymore and I was afraid I'd never find a friend." Danny explained.

"How come you guys moved to this neighborhood?" Kyle asked.

"The apartment has been in our family forever. When my grandmother died it was offered to us. My parents snapped it up. I think they regretted it initially. The commute to my school doubled and I was alone."

"Until I came along," Kyle reminded.

"Yep. Best friends forever." Danny said smiling. "I remember when I first went to your apartment, I think Gabby had moved out and your dad and Kelly were watching baseball on TV rooting the Cubs on, a beer in hand. At first—well at first—"

Kyle raised his eyebrows as he looked at his friend. Then he realized what Danny had meant. "Oh, you thought my dad and Kelly were like a couple? That's hilarious."

"I know right. I was already trying to figure out how to keep it from my parents. They're good people but that might be too progressive for them."

Kyle chuckled. "Believe me there is no worries about that. They're best friends, have been since I can remember. I do miss Kelly living here though. It was nice to have him around."

"You still hang around with him a lot."

"I know, but it's different."

"That one time he took us to the zoo last and then to the John Hancock building so we could do that window tilt ride. That was so cool." Danny said smiling at the memory. "I think the last thing we did was the planetarium, but that was forever ago."

"Yeah, he took me back there a couple of weeks ago, but it was a Saturday, so I couldn't ask you to come. It still gets my stomach churning looking down on the city from that high up."

"I'm glad you guys get to see each other a lot."

"I'll ask that maybe next we can plan something on a Sunday so you can come with us." Kyle offered.

"Cool." Danny said as they arrived at the store. "He's probably forgotten who I am."

They quickly found Mrs. Levine and Danny's little sister Rachel looking at dresses. "I thought you were almost done?" Danny asked.

"We were and then Sam brought out more items. Hello Kyle, how are you today?" She asked.

"I'm fine Mrs. Levine and how are you?"

"Very well thank you. See how polite your friend is. I hope you are that polite at his house."

Danny just shook his head and ambled off towards the boy's section.

"Hi Kyle," nine-year-old Rachel said smiling. It was well known that Rachel had a huge crush on Kyle and always asked when he was going to come over to their house. Kyle always made a point of being nice to her whenever she was around. He told Rachel he was fine and went off to find Danny.

"How about this?" Kyle asked holding up a Rob Zombie concert tour t-shirt.

"Yeah right. Like that would ever be allowed." Danny scoffed.

Kyle backed up and bumped into a rack that held some winter items. He found a long, fuzzy blue scarf that felt incredibly soft. He pulled it from the rack and held it to his face. "Are you cold?" Danny asked.

Kyle shook his head. "It's only three bucks. I was thinking it might be something for Ben this winter."

"I know you like to look out for him, but you should be careful. I saw him buying some drugs down on the street corner last week."

"He usually does heroin and it makes him sleepy."

"Yeah, but his dealer might not. Just be careful man. Sometimes you leap without looking."

Ten minutes later Kyle was walking towards home with the scarf he had purchased. He ducked into Ben's favorite alley and saw him back near the dumpster. He stepped into the alley and made his way towards the man.

"Kyle," he gasped, surprised. "What brings you here?"

"I got you something," Kyle answered as he looked down at the syringe in Ben's hand.

"Oh, cool." Ben said nervously.

Kyle handed the scarf to Ben who held the syringe in one hand as he took the gift in the other. "This is soft."

"Yeah it is. It's super long so I thought you could wrap it over your head and around your neck if you had to. I'll look for a winter hat next time."

"I don't want you spending your money on me."

"Someone has to since you spend your money on that," he said nodding at the needle.

"You know I'm an addict. This is what makes me one," he said looking down at his drug of choice.

"Why don't you come to my house. You can eat something, take a shower and maybe we can wash your clothes." Kyle offered.

"Sorry, kid. But this is all cooked up and I can't pass it up."

"Even for a meal?"

Ben just gave Kyle a tight smile and then proceeded to wrap the scarf around his arm and pull tight, using it as a tourniquet. Kyle stood and watched until the needle entered the vein then he turned and left.

Matt had just stepped out of the apartment and started to walk towards the store where Kyle had been with Danny and his family when he saw his son leave the alley two blocks away, looking behind him as he did.

"Hey there," Matt said when he finally met Kyle.

"Hey," Kyle responded.

"You okay?"

"Hmmm? Yeah. Fine."

"Were you just with Ben?"

Kyle figured his father had seen him and there was no point in lying. "Yeah. I thought maybe—"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I could get him to come over and eat something."

Matt sighed. "I love your desire to help people. It's a fantastic trait to have."

"But…" Kyle said sensing his father was going to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"But, I really don't want you hanging out with Ben by yourself."

"He likes me, he's nice, he's not a threat." Kyle protested.

"Look, I know Ben is a nice guy, but he's an addict. I can't have you hanging around an addict. He may be under the influence or be with someone who isn't so nice. If you want to take him some food then make sure Gabby or I go with you okay?"

"Okay," Kyle reluctantly agreed.

Two weeks later

"Kyle can you hand me that rag?" Gabby asked as she was standing in front of the linen closet surrounded by towels, sheets and cleaning products.

Kyle stepped over and grabbed the rag in question and handed it Gabby before he made his way into the kitchen. "When's Dad coming home?"

"Not sure, depends. You know how it goes with bids."

Kyle eyed some bananas that were getting brown and a carton of yogurt that had been in there for a few weeks. He grabbed two pieces of the fruit, the yogurt, a plastic spoon and put them in a paper bag. He slid his jacket on and hid the bag inside the coat. "I'm going to see if Hannah is home," he announced.

Gabby stepped away from the closet and wiped her brow. "Okay, let me know if your going to hang out over by her place. Otherwise come home."

"Okay," Kyle said as he made it out the door.

He walked down towards the alley, the bag now in his left hand swinging along in time with his pace. He had abided by his fathers wishes but it was more due to the fact he hadn't had an opportunity to do anything else. It wasn't that he wanted to disobey Matt, but he just wanted to make sure that Ben was okay and had something decent to eat occasionally. He looked behind hoping that his father wasn't going to pull up any minute as he would have a hard time explaining away why he was carrying two overripe bananas and yogurt that he didn't eat due to the dairy content.

He finally made it to his destination and let out a breath as he was finally out of the street view. He looked around but didn't see Ben. Kyle figured he must be out panhandling or maybe even getting some drugs. He hated seeing the reality of this mans life and just didn't understand the strength and pull of addiction. He stepped over some trash and thought he would set the bag of food over by the pallet and blankets that Ben used for a bed when he saw a figure sprawled half off of the makeshift bed.

"Ben," Kyle said tentatively as he set down the food. "Hey, I brought you some food for when you wake up. I just want you to know it's here." When the man's eyelids didn't even flutter Kyle leaned closer figuring he was in a heroin stupor. "Ben," he said shaking his shoulder. "Ben!" But he got no response. Kyle used his foot to move Ben's hand, but it just seemed to flop around. Kyle squatted down and shook Ben by the shoulder but there was no resistance, something was clearly wrong.

Kyle turned and ran out of the alley and down the street back towards the apartment as fast as he could. "Gabby, Gabby," he screamed continually until she climbed off the chair she was using to clean the top shelf.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" She asked as she grabbed him by the shoulders. "Are you hurt?"

"It's Ben, somethings wrong with him. You have help him." Kyle pleaded, his face red, his eyes wild.

"Where is he?" Gabby asked.

"In the alley, towards the back. He's lying on the pallet."

"Grab my jump bag," she yelled as she rammed her feet into her shoes that were sitting by the door.

Kyle ran to the bedroom closet where Gabby kept what was called a jump bag that held basic paramedic supplies. By the time he came out of the bedroom Gabby was already out the door and on her way. He followed closely behind.

When he turned into the alley, breathless and sweating, he saw Gabby hovering over Ben trying to find a pulse. "Is he alive?" Kyle asked as he set the bag down.

"Do you have your phone?" She asked. Kyle nodded that he did. "Call 911 and tell them we have a probable overdose." Kyle stood and looked down at Ben. "Do it now!" Gabby demanded.

Kyle did as he was told and began to pace as he spoke to the dispatcher. He was explaining where they were when he walked back to see what Gabby was doing. "Go stand out by the street so the ambulance knows where we are," she said firmly.

"No, he's not breathing. My mom is a paramedic and she's doing chest compression's." Kyle explained as he walked towards the street.

Gabby had her hands full, but she hadn't missed what Kyle said. She knew he was under a lot of stress and not choosing his words carefully, but nonetheless hearing the word mom without its prefix of step sent a tingle up her spine. She also knew that despite her best efforts Ben was not going to make it. He had been dead for a while before Kyle found him and there was no bringing him back. The chest compression's were merely for show as she didn't want to feel useless and for fear that Kyle would never forgive her if she didn't at least make an attempt.

Kyle saw the ambulance coming and began to jump up and down and wave his hands directing the rig his way. They screeched to a halt and double parked frustrating the drivers that were stuck behind them. "He's over there," Kyle pointed towards Gabby who was still working on Ben.

"Thanks kid," the paramedic said. "Why don't you just stay out here on the sidewalk. Okay?"

Kyle nodded. He started to walk backwards unable to stop looking Ben's lifeless body. He finally turned around and slammed right into his father. "Dad. He's dead. Ben's dead." He said looking up, the tears beginning to fall.

Matt who had returned from an errand had seen the ambulance pull up and had jogged down to see if he could help. He looked down at his son who had now wrapped his arms around him and had begun to sob. "I was too late and he died alone."

Matt put his own arms around his son and just held him close. "This isn't your fault, you know that right?"

"I just—" but Kyle was unable to finish the sentence.

Gabby walked out and shook her head back and forth at Matt confirming what Kyle had suspected. A minute later the gurney came clattering out with the sheet covering Ben from head to toe. Kyle broke away from Matt and ran over. "Where are you taking him?" He asked.

"We are going to take him to the hospital right now." Kyle was told.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'm sorry Ben. I'm sorry this is where your life ended," he said looking back at the alley."

"It's good that you found him." The paramedic said.

"I don't think that it really mattered in the end," Kyle said.

That night as Matt tucked Kyle in, something the boy hadn't welcomed in nearly a year, he began to ask questions. "What will they do with Ben at the hospital?"

"I imagine they'll do an autopsy. Do you know what that is?"

"Is it where they cut the body open?"

"Yes. They do that so they can figure out what killed him."

"Drugs." Kyle answered.

"Most likely, but they have to make sure."

"Then what will happen?"

"Then his family will pick up the body for burial," Matt answered.

"Did he even have a family?"

"From what I understand he lived in the neighborhood with his family from the time he was a toddler. But they moved several years ago."

"And they didn't take him?"

"Or he didn't choose to go," Matt replied.

"What if they don't claim his body?" Kyle wanted to know.

"Then the city will take care of him."

Kyle sighed and rolled over. Matt pulled the blankets up to the boys' chin and kissed his head. "I love you kid."

"I know," Kyle said as he faced the wall. Matt got up and made his way to the door. "Dad."

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

Matt closed the door behind him and made his way towards the kitchen. Before he could reach for the refrigerator Gabby handed him a beer. "How's he doing?"

"Sad. Confused. This is exactly why I didn't want him going down there by himself. I was afraid something like this might happen."

"He's a kid. Kids don't always listen."

"Yeah and he's certainly proven that."

"He embraces life. Flings himself right into the middle of it."

"Just like someone else I know," Matt said looking at Gabby.

"Yeah well, Hallie liked to be in the middle of things as I recall."

"That she did," Matt agreed.

"And you run into fires."

Matt just smiled. "What are your trying to say?"

"I'm saying were we're doomed when it comes to this kid." Gabby said with a weak smile. "Ben was already cold when I got there. He wasn't in rigor though. Poor Kyle."

"Well he should have listened to me," Matt said with an edge to his voice. "What was he doing there by himself."

"When I was working on Ben, who by the way was wearing that blue scarf that Kyle mentioned giving him. But anyway, I saw a paper lunch bag near the body. After the ambulance came I looked inside. There were two bananas and a yogurt inside."

"Let me guess, we're missing a yogurt and two bananas."

"Yep," she sighed. "He was just trying to make sure he had something decent to eat." She argued.

"Yes, but I told him he wasn't to go alone."

"Well maybe he'll remember what happened today and the next time he's faced with a situation he'll remember not tackle it all on his own."

"We can only hope," Matt replied. "We can only hope."