From: Elena
To: Tseng
E: Sure, when Aphrodite is laying naked in a giant clam shell she's a 'goddess' but when I do it I'm 'drunk' and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium'!
From: Zack
To: his father
Z: Dad…I have to tell you. I'm bisexual.
Father: And I've had sex with your mom.
Z: Eew, dad!
F: I'm sorry, I just thought we were stating the glaringly obvious.
Z: You knew I was bi?!
F: Son, grandma Becky knew you were bi.
Z: She's been dead since I was six…
F: Exactly.
From: Kunsel
To: Genesis
K: What exactly is the 'gay agenda'?
G: 7 am – Wake up
G: 7.30 – drink coffee
G: 8.00 – be fabulous
From: Tseng
To: Elena
T: I am seducing you for the third and fourth pass on Wednesday
E: Finally!
T. That was meant to say 'scheduling'
E: aww…
From: Elena
To: The Turks
E: How to give a good handjob:
E: Bop it, Pull it, Twist it
Cissney: Harder, Better, Faster
E: You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your left hand in and you shake it all around.
Tseng: None of you are allowed near a penis ever again.