A/N: So here's the conclusion of Hours 'Til Dawn. Thanks again for all the kind reviews and helpful critiques and for simply sticking with the story. I really hadn't meant for it to take five months to write—I was shooting to have it written by the Christmas Special—well, I guess I missed that deadline by quite a bit!
One final acknowledgement: Many thanks to EPhoard for helping compile John's extensive reading list throughout this story and also inspiration for Sybil's future career!
Epilogue—Part 2
3:30am
Bates Family Cottage
She rolled over and before she opened her eyes she knew John wasn't beside her. The slight indentation where he had lain was still warm. He couldn't have been up for long. Even though he seemed to be sleeping better than when he first was released, there were still plenty of nights when his knee ached or his insomnia thrived. Anna knew there was very little she could do to ease either ailment, but that didn't mean she couldn't try.
Swinging her legs off the bed, she padded to the stairs. A soft, low sound caused her to pause. Dear God, was he moaning in pain? She quickly started down but as she reached the landing, the sight before her stopped her in her tracks.
There swaying was John singing to their boy. Her heart swelled at the sight. This was a memory she wanted to lock away for all time.
A smile grew as he repeated the silly chorus. She hated to admit it now, but deep down she had worried whether John would take to fatherhood. He was, after all, a middle-aged man who had never been around children. She never doubted he would love their son and provide for him, but she wasn't sure how involved he wanted to be with the care and raising of Danny. She feared he would think himself too old and broken to take an active role.
But those concerns had been for naught. Though incredibly nervous and awkward at first, John was eager to lend a hand. He didn't mind rocking Danny or wrestling his little body into baby gowns. He even changed nappies. Having almost lost his life and the chance of even knowing his son, John seemed determined to help in any way he could.
And even though he just turned fifty last month, there was new raw vibrancy about him. Yes, his knee had only gotten worse in prison and his hair had begun to gray at the temples, but to Anna, he seemed younger than the day she met him.
Having finished singing, he now stood staring out the window resting his cheek upon their son's head. She couldn't resist. Anna wanted to be part of their embrace.
She silently slipped down the rest of the stairs and across the room. Her hands snaked up his sides and around his front. He was filling out again. After all the weight he lost in prison, she would be happy to have him on the plump side for the rest of his life. She could hear him sigh her name as she rested her head on his back.
She looked out the window. She could make out little in the darkness.
"You're just staring out the window. What are you thinkin' about?"
After a second, he whispered, "Anna . . . are you happy?"
She flinched and her back tensed.
"Of course, I'm happy. I have you. I have Danny. We're finally together after all we've been through . . . How can you even think I'm not happy?"
But even as the words came out of her mouth, Anna knew they were not entirely the truth.
John twisted in her embrace so he could see her face.
"I don't doubt you're content with us. But what about this house . . . the village . . . are you truly happy living here?"
She turned away before John could see the truth on her face. She didn't want him to know. She could handle it. Good grief, he had been in prison for almost a year. Surely, she could manage to deal with some unfriendly locals.
Walking to the fireplace, Anna kept her back to him. "If this is about what happened that one Sunday, I already told you . . . I was tired. I had been up with Danny the night before and I wasn't in a very good mood. That's all."
"We both know there is more to it than that."
He was right. There was a lot more to it. But she wasn't about to tell him how she had become a pariah within their own community.
She had arrived from London full of hope and anticipation. John had been released and was employed. Their baby was healthy and growing by the day. They had a place to call their own. It was everything she had ever wanted.
It wasn't until she started making shopping rounds in the village that she noticed something was amiss. Despite her usual friendly demeanor, the shopkeepers displayed a cold politeness in return. She didn't understand it. She had never been treated this way during previous shopping excursions. It wasn't until she stopped into the dry goods store that she began to comprehend what was going on.
She had only a few items for purchase, but more importantly Anna wanted to set up a line of store credit. As a round, middle aged women calculated her purchases, she explained that she and her family had recently moved into the village and was interested in setting up an account.
The lady was pleasant as she spared a smile for Danny who slept peacefully in his pram. "That's not a problem. Now what did you say your name was?"
"Bates. Anna and my husband is John."
The storekeeper's smile dropped from her face. "I've heard all about you."
Confusion swirled in Anna. "You have?"
"Oh yes, it's not every day that a murderer moves into our village."
She was stunned. She didn't know what to say or do.
The lady shook her head. "I don't think I can extend credit to someone who kills his wife just so he can be with a girl half his age. And to think, he got away with it."
A few customers gathered around and stared at Anna. She was frozen. Her mind was blank but she could feel the familiar pressure of tears building upon her eyes.
A soft sniffle of a cry came from Danny. It propelled her mind to function again.
Though her lip trembled, Anna refused to let any tears fall. She wouldn't let this despicable woman get the best of her.
"So, our money's not good here, is that it?" She shoved the items she was going to buy across the counter. A can rolled onto the floor, a bag of flour tipped over. "Fine. Just fine. I wouldn't want to do business somewhere that gossips and spreads lies about its customers. Good day."
Turning on her heel, Anna pushed the pram out of the store and didn't look back. She held her head high the entire way home. It wasn't until she closed the cottage door that she allowed tears to stream down her face. She was able to get herself calmed down and cleaned up by the time John came home, but never again would she shop at that store. From then on, she went to Ripon for any dry goods they needed. If John noticed, he never said anything. She just couldn't go back and face such humiliation.
Cold shoulders and sour looks became the norm. She thought as time went by folks would soften their attitudes toward her, but after a few weeks their prejudices remained harden in place.
One afternoon she took Danny for a walk and ran into Mrs. Bird on her way back to Crawley House. Despite being a general in the kitchen, the cook had always been kind to Anna. She offered her a smile which was a rarity these days and asked if she would like to come in for a cup of tea. Being devoid of adult conversation during the day, she jumped at the offer.
"You've been having a tough time lately?" Mrs. Bird asked as she poured their tea.
"What do you mean?" Anna hedged.
"I'm not blind, my dear. I see the way the locals treat you."
Anna just looked down at her hands.
"It's all Thomas's fault, you know."
Her head sprang up. "Thomas? What's he got to do with it?"
"Well, when the news came down that your husband was returning to be his Lordship's valet, Thomas wasn't very happy about losing his position. So as a bit of revenge, he went into the village, to the pub and all the shops, talking up how a murderer was coming to live amongst them. He told this grand tale about how your husband murdered his kind, devoted wife just so he could be with his much younger and more attractive mistress and that he had managed to weasel out of prison on a technicality."
"But it's not true. None of it."
The cook shook her head sadly. "You know it and I know it, but unfortunately, the village bought the bunk Thomas was selling."
Anna never mentioned to John what Thomas had done. She was worried what he might do. For the first time in a long time, things were going well for him. He didn't need to know about any of her trouble in the village. She could cope with it. After all, she had been the head maid in a large home. She could deal with hostile villagers. Things would get better. They had to.
But as the weeks turned to months, the situation hadn't improved. Anna felt that she was now the one in prison, perhaps not with bars, but a prison just the same. As much as she loved her son, she was going out of her mind not having other adults to converse with during the day. She lived for Lady Mary's visits, but even they were becoming few and far between as the wedding neared and she couldn't spare time to visit Anna regularly. Thank God for Mrs. Bird. Tea time with the gruff cook made the week bearable.
She missed working at Downton, not because she didn't enjoy being a mother or keeping a house, but because she loved the energy that came with so many souls under one roof. How she longed to hear one of Mrs. Patmore's incoherent rants and see Daisy scurrying in response. She never realized how much she enjoyed being there until she was gone. And funny as it may sound, she missed John. Even though she reveled in him coming home to her each evening and falling asleep in his arms each night, she yearned to see him during the day. In some ways, she had been spoiled when they worked together. He was always lurking about with a smile or touch. If she wished to speak with him, all she had to do was look. What she wouldn't give to work with him again.
But that was all in the past. The village was her new reality. Chin up, she told herself. She'd just have do the best she could. She supposed she could speak with Mary about all the ugliness or perhaps even his Lordship. But Anna didn't want to be seen as tattling. Somehow she didn't think the villagers would take kindly to a rebuke from the Earl. Times were changing. Things weren't as they were before the war. She wasn't sure how much influence Lord Grantham even wielded. No, she would just have to manage on her own.
She heard a slight huff of breath behind her. She turned to see John depositing himself and Danny onto the small settee they had recently purchased. She could tell that his knee was bothering him. He had been standing too long.
"Do we really need to discuss this now? It's almost four in the morning. You can still get some sleep before you have to be up."
But John plunged on. "I know there is more that you're not saying."
"I can't. I just can't."
Seeing the angst on her face, he relented. "All right . . . but what if I told you we don't have to stay here?"
"What do you mean?" Her brow furrowed. "Where would we go?"
Taking a seat next to John, Anna listened silently as he laid out an alternative course for them. She could tell he was nervous, but never did he deviate his eyes from hers.
As he finished up describing the inn, John reached over with his free hand to run a finger down the side of her face. "What do you think, love?"
She was overwhelmed. Opportunities like this came to others not them. There had to be a catch. It was too good to be true.
"John, is this really a possibility?"
"Yes, if we want it to be."
"We can afford it?"
"If we sell mother's home for around the price it was recently assessed at, we should have no problem at all. In fact, we will probably come away with something extra to put into savings. "
"And selling shouldn't be a problem?"
"Mr. Cameron assured me given the current market and the location of the house we could sell it rather quickly."
Anna rubbed her hands together nervously. Could they really do this, leave everything behind? More questions began to pop into her mind.
"What about papers? Do we need papers once we arrive there?" With those questions, an even scary prospect came to mind. "What happens if we get there and they don't let you in because you were in prison? What happens then?"
John held up his hand. "Slow down," he entreated before giving her a warm smile. "Getting in shouldn't be a problem. My record has been wiped clean and my previous prison time with the military wouldn't be accessible to American immigration officials. But I'll speak with his Lordship. He has contacts both here and over there and would make sure we don't run into any problems."
"What about Lord Grantham? Are you sure you want to leave his service after everything he's done for us? It's a good job and you're highly respected in the household."
"Anna, I want more," John empathized taking her hands in his. "I will always be appreciative of what he and his whole family have done on my behalf. But I'm willing to leave it behind and take a chance for a better life, a happier life for the three of us. That's all that matters to me."
He paused before continuing, "Anna, are you willing to take that chance too?"
She closed her eyes. Was she ready to surrender her current life for one of uncertainties in a strange, new land?
She took a deep breath. She needed to examine this from all sides. Currently, they were financially stable even managing to put funds into savings. Being a valet to an Earl was a good job. Buying an inn would be an investment and investments always held an element of risk. Was it a good idea to jeopardy such stability for only a chance at a better life? What if the inn failed? Would John be able to find other work in America? He wasn't getting any younger and his injury might serve as an impediment to being hired.
And even though she didn't see them on a daily basis anymore, she would certainly miss everyone at the Abbey: Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson, Daisy and Mrs. Patmore, the young maids and footmen. And leaving the Crawley family would be most difficult. While she and Mary would never be of the same rank, Anna had never been closer to another woman in all her life. Mary and Matthew were Danny's godparents. And after that fateful New Year's, Sybil and Branson would always have a place in her heart too. They were like family.
As for her real family, no one would miss her much. Her father's death was what prompted Anna to be hired on at Downton in the first place. Her mother passed away three years ago. All that was left were two older brothers and one younger. Her eldest brother ran the family farm and while the other two worked in a local cotton factory. Since her mother's death, she had only seen them a handful of times. The sad truth was even though her working at Downton had been to help the family, she found herself growing farther apart from her siblings with each passing year.
Anna opened her eyes to John gazing at her intently as he softly rubbed circles upon Danny's back. No, it didn't matter what she was leaving behind or the risk they were taking; to have a fresh start with these two at her side was all she needed. She could break free of all the gossip and innuendo that dogged her steps daily. How nice that would be . . . except what if . . .?
"John, what if we aren't accepted there? What if they find out about your past?" Dread filled her chest. What if they were treated the same way in America as they were in the village?
He must have sensed her anxiety. He opened up his free arm. "Come here," he said motioning her over. She slid over and rested her head on his chest.
"First of all," John began as he lightly kissed the top of her head. "Mrs. Appleman is the only person who needs to know about my past and it's in her best interest and that of the inn to keep it to herself. Secondly, from what I gather from Mr. Hayes, America is a place where people come from all over with various backgrounds, religions, languages, you name it. But once you get there, you start anew. The past stays where it should be . . . in the past."
"Do you think it really is that simple?"
"I don't know. But I spent the better part of my life always believing the worst about my fellow man; I've got to believe that there is goodness out there that we can tap into."
Anna couldn't help blurting out, "Well, there's not too much 'goodness' in this village."
"I am sorry living here has been so hard on you . . .," John started.
She began to shake her head and refute it, but he stopped her. "No, don't deny it, Anna. I know it's been because of me and I feel awful. I only wish that someday you will be able to talk to me about it."
He took a deep breath before continuing on. "You do know, I am always here for you?"
She did love this man. "I know. And someday I will be able to, just not now."
John nodded. He understood. There had been plenty of times when their roles had been reversed. She had always been there when he needed to someone to listen to his problems, his secrets, even his demons. And when the time came, he would be there for her.
They sat in silence as the wall clock ticked softly.
"But it will be a lot easier living here knowing we'll be leaving soon." Anna leaned back and smiled softly up at John.
John pushed himself up jostling Anna and Danny in the process. "You mean it? You're really quite sure you want to do this?
"I want more, too. I want to leave all of this baggage behind. And if we're together, we can face whatever may lie ahead."
"In some ways, that's what I like best. We'll be working side by side, each and every day." John shyly looked down at her. "I've missed you during the day these last few months. "
"Me too," Anna agreed as she gave him a cheeky smile. "I don't know, we might get sick of each other spending all that time together."
John feigned mock horror, "Never!"
They both laughed as John drew her close again for a kiss. As he turned slightly to deepen that kiss, Danny began to slide from his position on his shoulder and let out a whimper. As his parents disentangled, his tiny mouth began to suck on John's shirt hungry for a feeding.
"I'm afraid, my boy, you're not going to have any luck there."
"Oh, come here," Anna cooed lifting her son from John. She began to unbutton her nightgown to feed him.
"Bring him to bed. There's no reason to sit down here and nurse him in the dark."
So as a family they climbed upstairs and got into bed.
"I'll call Mr. Cameron tomorrow and have him put the house on the market."
"How long do you think it might take?"
"I imagine we might be able to make it to America by the end of the summer."
"Sounds fantastic."
"Doesn't it?" John agreed as he leaned over for one last kiss. "Goodnight Anna. I love you."
"I love you, too."
As Anna put Danny to her breast, she thought of their new future. No more names or harassment. They would Mr. and Mrs. John Bates, respected owners of The Willow Tree Inn. They would work together to make it a success. Her heart was restless in anticipation.
It only took a few minutes to have John asleep, softly snoring beside her. Most wives would be annoyed, but not Anna. Having been so close to losing him, his snores reaffirmed that he was alive and warm sleeping beside her.
Danny's nursing began to peter off as he also fell asleep. She gently lifted him up to snuggle against her shoulder. She would put him in his crib in a minute. For now, she just wanted to hold him close.
And just like she had done several months prior, Anna looked out the window and waited for dawn. Only this time the pink hues of early morning would not mean the death of her love, but the birth of their future. And what a lovely future it was going to be.
A/N: So that's all folks. Hope you enjoyed it. I do have two more stories (a one-shot, and another mult-chapter) that I want to do before my creativity runs out of the Downton front. Until then, thanks again for reading!