Hey Twihards, here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it. I do not own Twilight, characters, or common settings.
A big thanks to my Beta Cierra Hill, she is amazingly forgiving and patient with me, when I am scatterbrained and a total fuck up. Thank you so much :)
Chapter 14
"Bullet Proof"
Bella's POV
People say that there is this moment, this intense moment, where you will be completely terrified of death, when your life will flash before your eyes. If I were a normal person I was sure that this would have beeen my moment, but my life didn't pass before me and I wasn't terrified, I was pissed off.
The barrel of the gun was pressed against my forehead just between my eyes; the hold on it was steady, telling me that the hands that held the gun had no problem pulling the trigger, and that he held no second thoughts about it. I let my eyes scan the room quickly, taking in my living room, my home; it might be the last time that I saw it, but it wouldn't be the last thing I saw. No, if he was going to kill me, he was going to have to do it looking into my eyes, and he was going to have to live the rest of his life haunted by them. Therefore, after one last look at my autographed bat and the photo of my father and me fishing in La Push, I looked into his dark sinister eyes.
His eyes were crazed; he was completely bat shit; he had lost everything in his life, and his mind was the last to go. There was nothing left, and I knew that he somehow blamed me and he planned to get his revenge on me. He had held me in my home for three days and now I sat before him tied to a chair in my own home with a gun between my eyes, because of all the things that went wrong in his life. I would die for no reason; and I knew that it would hurt a few people, but they would survive without me. A part of my brain wondered if Edward would miss me or if he would just move on; in the pits of my soul he was the one person I needed to say goodbye too, along with my father who had raised me. James's eyes may have been the last thing I saw, but my last thoughts were on Edward, as James's finger twitched pulling the trigger.
One hundred and sixty eight hours earlier
Arriving home from Texas, I found myself full of emotions and completely drained at the same time. I was ecstatic, satisfied, and rejoiced every time I thought about my night with Edward. It was amazing, it was magical and it made me feel incredible. I also felt stupid and fearful of the whole thing; we hadn't used protection, and even though I had an IUD, I didn't know how many girls Edward had been with and how clean he was. He assured me he was clean, but what person would want to up and say, 'hey I have an STD'; even with that I trusted Edward; I knew he wasn't one to lie. Moreover, even with all of his extra-circulative activities he seemed like the type of guy that would take many precautions. None of those worries still took away from the high that I felt; they couldn't down play how amazing it felt to have his hands on my bare skin. I wanted to do it repeatedly. On the plane I went to the bathroom with every intention of doing it again, but soon came to my senses as I recalled a saying, my father had once told me, "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free." I knew that it was pertaining to not having sex before marriage, but I was thinking of it in another way. I couldn't just be a regular for Edward, a booty call, go to girl; I had a thick exterior, but even the thought of him using me meaninglessly was hurtful, because after our night together I knew it wasn't meaningless to me. I hadn't been with many guys, but I had had sex more than a few times and it just wasn't the same as it was with Edward. There was an emotional attachment to him that made it powerful, and that scared the hell out of me, but I was like an addict and wanted it again. Therefore, with all of the self-control I had, I denied him and walked out of the tiny stall and headed back to my seat.
I hoped that once I got some sleep that I would be able to put things into perspective, but it turned out that life never went the way you planned. I had planned to take it easy, I know Bella Swan taking it easy, yeah it sounds crazy, but I really needed some time to think. I even cleared a whole day towards the end of the week, so that I could go to the spa with Alice. This was something that rarely ever happened, but I felt like it was necessary for me to actually get work done. I was starting to overwhelm myself with the stress over the unknown whereabouts of James. I hadn't heard from Aro or anyone else unwanted again, but I knew it was only a matter of time. I knew that if they wanted Edward, they would find another way to come at us, but I decided to cross that bridge when it came.
Anyway, I was finally getting some decent sleep, when my house phone rang out. I had put my cell on silent so I could get some much-needed rest, but since no one ever called the house phone or really had the number so I didn't think to turn it off. I let it ring until the machine picked up and an unfamiliar voice carried through the house and up to my room.
"This message is for Isabella Swan, my name is Detective Bane, I have some time sensitive information for you regarding…" I made myself get out of bed and run to my office to pick up the phone in mid-sentence. I was wide-awake at the word Detective fearing it had something to do with Charlie. He was the Chief of police and even in Forks it could be a dangerous job.
"Isabella Swan, here," I said, quickly interrupting him.
"Miss Swan, sorry to disturb you. As I was saying my name is Detective Bane, I am working on Renee Swan's case; she was your mother correct?" The fact that he used past tense, didn't register in my tired mind.
"Yes, sir," I answered, unenthusiastically wondering what my mother had done this time.
"We have been trying to contact a next of kin, would that also be you?"
"Yes, sir." My voice was speculative and unsure this time. I could only think of two reasons that a next of kin would be needed and neither was good.
"I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but since you are in another state and it took a significant amount of time to find a next of kin, I will have to be the bearer of unfortunate news. Renee Swan's body was discovered in Jacksonville, Florida two weeks ago."
My heart stopped for a moment, my eyes filled with tears, and sadness washed over me; then my subconscious shouted at me for being so weak and emotional.
"What happened?" My voice was shaky and I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. I heard the Detective release a breath before he answered.
"The autopsy showed a fatal amount of Heroin in her system; she went into cardiac arrest due to the amount, and she was DOA."
The tears dried as fast as they came, she had overdosed, that selfish bitch; I wouldn't cry over her. I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in my throat that was the beginnings of a sob. I loathed my mother, we didn't have a pretty relationship, but hearing of her death had left me afraid that I hadn't been enough for her, then hearing that she was doing drugs again, and on top of that heroin, I couldn't feel sorry for her. I couldn't be sad for her; no, I wouldn't allow it. She made it clear years ago, that she wasn't my mother, that she had only given birth to me and that all parental rights were on my father. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn't realize the detective was speaking again;
"I know this is probably a shock to you, but it has been a significant amount of time and we need someone to come and claim the body. We can have it shipped to you, but you will need to make arrangements with a funeral home. We have had the body in our possession for two weeks now, so I don't think an open casket would be available…"
He went on to explain that Renee had nothing that listed a next of kin and it was on a whim that he was finally able to contact me and that I would have to come in person and sign some paper work. I was the only family my mother had left; she had no siblings and my grandparents had passed years ago. I couldn't ask my father to deal with it, because that would be unfair to him after everything he had done for me. I got off the phone with the detective and after a lot of thought decided; that I would just have Renee cremated and spread her ashes over somewhere random, she was a random person so it seemed fitting. There was no point in having a funeral, because I was sure no one would attend.
I didn't shed a single tear for her, but I could feel all of the resentment and unspoken words pulling at me. I sat with a beer in one hand and a shot in the other as I thought through all of the encounters I had with the late Renee Swan, drifter and fuck up.
I hadn't had much contact with my mother over the years after she left my father; she would send birthday cards and other small things around the holidays, and one summer my father even let me spend two weeks with her, but that two weeks ended up only being two days. On the second day, she was pulled over for drinking and driving and an irate Charlie picked me up from the police station stating she would never see me again. Renee cried and told me she loved me more than the moon and that she was sorry; I was only twelve and mature enough to know that I wouldn't see her again. I was sad and angry, because I thought she had only made one mistake and that perhaps Charlie was keeping her away from me, but it wasn't until a year later that I learned the truth.
My dad and I had arrived home from a day of school and work; the rain was coming down hard, and we couldn't even see the porch from the car. My dad let me under his coat at his side and we ran towards the house together; we almost didn't see her. She was sitting next to the door with her back against the house, she was just sitting there, she was shivering, but it was obvious that she wasn't aware of the fact that she was freezing. Charlie sent me into the house as he lifted Renee up grumbling under his breath. I could tell he wanted to leave her on the porch to freeze, but he couldn't. When he brought her in, I covered her in towels, he started a fire, and I got her a cup of hot chocolate. Her eyes were blood shot and so dilated it looked like they were solid black. Like an idiot of a thirteen year old, I thought she was sick, and in truth she was, at least that was what Charlie tried to get me to believe.
Renee made Charlie promises to do right by me and him, if only he would help her get cleaned up, that was the first time I saw how sick she really was; she was an addict and her withdrawals were hell. I spent many nights at Emmett and Jacob's house at the request of Charlie, since it wasn't pretty at home. Emmett and I got even closer; he taught me how to throw a football, and in turn, I taught Jacob how to throw one. Renee finally seemed to be doing better and she would dress me up and fix my hair; she would brush my hair after my shower, and sing to me, but it only lasted a month. I can barely recall the motherly nature I felt in that small month. For a whole month of my long life, I had a mother and the way that month ended wasn't worth it.
Emmett always walked me home from school, but on that particular day he had football tryouts and couldn't walk with me, so I walked myself. After all it was Forks and there was nothing to worry about, because on the streets of Forks there was nothing to fear. It was ironic that of all places the Chief of Police's house was the place to fear. I knew something was wrong as soon as I arrived, because there was a car I had never seen before in the driveway and there was yelling coming from the house. I hesitated, but hearing my mother scream made up my mind to go in the house. I thought she was screaming in pain, so I ran to her, but when I made it into the house, I realized quickly that she wasn't in pain. Her dress was pushed all the way up, her panties were missing and his pants were around his ankles. That day was the first time I had ever seen a dick. I knew about sex and I knew that boys and girls were different, come on I was thirteen and my best friends were guys, but I had never actually seen the real thing.
I stood wide-eyed and terrified; they caught me staring, the man with the beard and greasy hair grinned at me, my mother yelled.
"Go to your room, perv," her voice was hoarse and harsh. I broke out of my haze and high tailed it to my room. I should have found a way to call my dad, but I was too upset to think of that.
Renee had fallen off the wagon, she was back to the drugs, and it was with a vengeance. She stomped up the stairs yelling at me for ruining her 'good time', and then she hit me. I will always remember the sound and the sting, but most of all I will always remember the way my heart shattered. I could taste and smell the blood, but couldn't see anything through the tears. Charlie sent Renee on her way and told her if she ever returned, he would put her in the ground six feet under. The Chief of Police making threats was probably a negative thing, but it was the only way he could protect his daughter.
Emmett never let me walk home alone again and he swore that if he ever saw Renee again, he would murder her.
Emmett never saw her again, but I did…
I couldn't finish thinking about her, it was sending me into a depression that I wasn't about to let myself go into. I started getting busy right away trying to get everything arranged so that I could go and collect what was left of Renee Swan. On top of that, I had to tell Charlie and I had to forget about my day off.
At this point, Edward was now the last thing on my mind, but I remembered that I was supposed to talk to him as soon as his name flashed up on my phone. I wanted to answer it, but I knew that there was no way I could get through a conversation with him. I didn't want to avoid him, I desperately wanted to hear his smooth velvety voice, but I was afraid I would say something stupid or his voice would make me fall apart. I had too much going on and he would have to wait. I should have answered it, being his agent and all, but instead after he continued to try to get in touch with me, I called Alice.
"Hey, how are you?" Were her first words when she picked up; this was why I didn't want to have to tell anyone, but Alice was my assistant and I had to tell her everything, because I couldn't just up and leave her. However, I still ignored her question and the worry in her voice.
"Listen, I am going to have to ask you to do me a huge favor. The way this stuff is working out I am going to miss the game on Sunday and I have a calendar full of stuff to finish, I can take care of most of it, but I am going to need you to do all of the screening for me. That includes Emmett, Jasper, and Edward, I know it is a lot, but I will give you a really good bonus, I promise."
It was silent for a moment and I was about to ask her if she was still on the phone, when I heard her take a deep breath.
"Bella, I know you have a lot going on and I am more than happy to take care of your job and my job to the best of my ability, but I think maybe you should talk to the guys. Tell them what is going on, that way they aren't worried or stressed."
"I understand that, but I have too much to deal with right now. Could you just call Edward and see what he wants, then can you tell Jasper that I am going to be MIA for a bit? I will tell Edward, but I can't right this minute, and Emmett already knows a bit of it."
"Sure thing, boss lady." I smiled at the nickname that I hadn't heard in awhile, it made me feel in control, even though at this moment I felt like I was slowly losing it.
I got off the phone with Alice and got back to work; there was so much to do.
I knew I had to tell Edward something and my emotions were all over the place. I got this extreme warm feeling as I drove to his house, but combined with all my stress and anxiety it made me feel nauseous. I knew I had to get control of my emotions so that I could tell him that I was going to miss the game and that Alice was going to be taking care of everything and keeping me updated. I typed in 1901 for the gate code and it opened up allowing me to drive onto Edward's property.
I sat in the car for a good five minutes staring at his house making sure I had my emotions in check before I got out into the downpour and knocked on his door. I was getting impatient and anxious as I waited for him to answer. I had it all under control; I had my walls up and my emotions in check, but when I saw him the lust and desire took over. I had to have him, no not had to, I needed him. Lust and desire became me as I soaked up as much of his warm skin as I could. I had to hold back tears as the emotions wreaked havoc on me. I was weak in my state of mind, but Edward's hands and lips on me were pure heaven. I wanted more of him, all of him, and I hated myself for it.
Once we finished I quickly reigned my emotions in. I realized how close I was to falling apart in his arms and that was something I couldn't allow to happen. I told him something, but I was so lost in myself I wasn't sure what I was saying. I walked through the rain, but couldn't feel it on my skin. I felt like a zombie, I felt empty; Edward had made me feel alive and incredible, but once his touch left me, I was hollow. I didn't understand any of it, but I knew that I couldn't dwell on it, I had too much too worry about.
Charlie drove me to the airport and it was filled with an awkward silence; I knew he didn't want me to have to deal with, but at the same time didn't want to have to do it himself. He had said that we should just leave her body to the state to deal with, but I knew that I couldn't do that. I just had to get it over with and move on. As Charlie parked in front of my exit I heard him exhale a heavy breath, he was about to say something he didn't want to say.
"Don't let this get to you. I know you, you shut down and close everyone off. Even though she was a shit for a mother and a drug addict, she was still your mother, a part of you, and you are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to be sad, but don't do it alone. I wish you would let someone go with you, but I understand you need to do it alone, but when you get back don't shut us out." He raised his eyebrows and stared right into my eyes relaying his message.
"Don't worry dad, I will be fine." I knew he wasn't assured, but he told me goodbye anyway and I made my way to my terminal.
I slept during the flight, since they made us turn our phones off and I had nothing better to do. I knew that it was likely that this would be the only time I would get to rest with everything that I had going on, as soon as my eyes closed, Edward's face floated into my unconscious. His sexy smirk and his heart stopping croaked grin had me squirming in my seat.
It was strange the way thoughts of him calmed me and his hands distracted me. I was sad to wake up when the plane started to descend, because reality was back in my sights and all I wanted was to be thinking about or touching him. As soon as I got off the plane, I grabbed my carry on and headed out to find a rental. I was shocked when I sucked in the humid air of Florida. I could almost taste the salt from the sea on my tongue and I could feel the sun's rays trying to burn my pale skin. We had spent the last weekend in Texas and while the Texas sun was hotter than Florida's, the humidity wasn't nearly as bad.
I took off the light sweater I had been wearing when I left rainy Seattle and made my way towards the car rental station. I skimmed over the available rentals available irritated as I realized the only thing I was going to be able to get was a Volvo or a Honda; I went with the Volvo. It was a boring silver and as I drove it towards the Jacksonville police station, I was very thankful that soon I would be able to return home to my car. All these thoughts were useless at this moment, but they were effectively distracting me from what I was about to do. I was about to claim my mother's body and then collect her ashes. I didn't want to feel the emotions that tried to rise in me so I focused on the differences between the stupid Volvo and my Camero; the differences were vast and occupied my mind until I pulled into a parking spot and made my way out of the car.
It was in a haze that I told the officer who I was and what I was doing there; he helped me down into the lower levels where I am sure they kept things like evidence and dead bodies, but I tried not to think about that fact. Instead of taking me into what I imagined as a corners room, he took me into a small office, with a metal desk and three chairs. I took a seat across from him the ugly blue metal desk between us. The sound of metal scratching made me clear my head and focus on what was going on before me.
"Mrs. Swan," he said, but I interrupted him.
"Miss Swan or you can call me Bella." He nodded at me his lips pulling at a faint smile.
"Miss Swan, I have to have a confirmation before I can give you the paper work to go to the funeral home and have your arrangements made. We had your mother's body moved once we contacted you and we were assured you would come." I nodded as he scanned through some paper work and then his eyes saddened slightly. "Did you come alone?"
"Yes sir," I told him bunching my eyebrows at the worrisome look on his face. He took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes as he spoke.
"Your mother's body hasn't been identified visually by a next of kin, so I am going to have to ask you to identify her."
My breath hitched, this was something I hadn't thought of, and I figured I wouldn't have to see her again. I was having her cremated and I had no plans of seeing her two week old deceased body. There was no way I could hold off the emotions and thoughts if I did see her.
"I am sorry, I know it is disturbing, but it is protocol." He reached over and patted me on the shoulder still staring into my eyes. "I am going to show you a photo and I want you to look it over and just confirm or deny that it is Renee Swan, your mother."
I nodded not trusting my voice as he opened a folder and then slid a picture towards me; I picked it up and glanced over it. Her face was swollen, her eyes closed, her lips blue, and her hair a mess, but it was her. It was my mother and she was indeed dead.
"It's her," my voice sounded dead and detached as I spoke. From that point forward, I spent the rest of my trip in a zombie state. I made the arrangements, I got her ashes, and I got on a flight back to Seattle.
About half way through the flight, I couldn't stand not knowing the score to the game any longer; they were playing and I hadn't missed a game in so long that it was pretty much killing me. Therefore, when the attendants weren't looking I slipped my phone out and turned it on. As I pulled up my score app, I prayed the plane wouldn't plummet to our immediate death. I glanced around once more before I looked down and my eyes landed on the score.
"Well isn't that just the fucking icing on the shit cake," I growled, through my clinched teeth. My neighbor on the plane stared at me as if I was a crazy person and I rolled my eyes at him before turning off my phone and throwing it into my bag. Seeing the score somehow made my mood worse than before, the rest of the flight was annoying, and I could feel the pent up anger and frustration and god knows what else rolling off of me. I did my best to fall asleep so no one would say a word to me, but I couldn't sleep, so I just sat there with my eyes closed. Pretending, I had done a lot of pretending in my life.
Charlie was waiting outside for me when I exited the airport and I hoped he wouldn't want to talk, because I wasn't in the mood and would most likely say something I didn't mean. He jumped out when he saw me and helped me with my carry on and now the box that I had accompanying me. He eyed the box before taking it awkwardly and then looking from it to me.
"Is this," he started to say, but didn't finish. I just nodded letting him know I knew what he was going to ask and it was indeed all that was left of Renee Swan. He nodded and then carefully put the box in the back of his cruiser and then jumped into the driver seat. I rolled my eyes and slid into the warm cabin.
Usually my father and I have comfortable silence, we both don't do a ton of talking, well at least not to each other, but the silence that fell over us was heavy and tainted. I hated it. It felt like there was a weight on my chest and I just wanted to scream and yell, but I didn't. I saw my dad glance back into the rearview mirror at the box and a small smirk played on his lips, then he frowned. Just by looking at him I was able to gauge what he was thinking or at least close to it.
"Ironic, isn't it. You told her if she ever came back, you would throw her in the back of your cop car and put her away for life. Now here she is in the back of your cop car with her life sentence over."
We both smiled at the irony, but it hit us both right away that she was dead and there was nothing happy about that. She had done a lot wrong in our lives and she was a shit of a mother and wife, but she was still a person and her death was still sad. My heart still tried to ache even though I didn't want it to and Charlie's eyes still glistened with unshed tears. We weren't made of stone and our hearts weren't cold, we still mourned her loss, even though she was a fuck up.
I changed the atmosphere quickly asking dad, what the hell happened with the Saints, he went on to tell me every part of the game in detail. I opened my phone checking over the stats to confirm it. I felt many things when I saw Edward's stats and I surprised myself in finding that I was overall worried about him. Well, not overall, because I was more than a little perturbed also, but it was his worst game in years and I had a feeling it was partially my fault. I needed to see him tomorrow and we needed to figure shit out. I quickly sent him a text and then looked up to see I was home. I kissed Charlie's cheek and refused to allow him to come in or talk me into staying the night at his house. I saw in his eyes that he knew I was closing myself off; he yelled after me telling me not to forget dinner in La Push with Jacob and Billy in a few days, I just waved him off.
As I unlocked the front door, I got an intense feeling that I was being watched, I turned back thinking maybe Charlie hadn't left after all, but all I saw were his taillights headed away. I pushed the door open and a shiver ran down my spine, something was definitely up. I knew that Eddy wouldn't be barking or running around since I had left him with Alice, but still something was off about my house when I entered it. Something was different and I couldn't put my finger on it. I sat my things down, slipped my shoes off, and slowly checked out each room in the house. Everything looked in place, so I locked up and then got ready for bed. I would need my rest if I were going to talk to Edward the next day and get caught up on all my work. Even with Alice double screening my calls, my inbox was full of messages and missed calls. I decided that my body and mind were too tired to worry about it now. I slipped into bed and my eyes closed as soon as they hit the pillow.
Behind my closed eyes and lost in unconsciousness I still sensed eyes on me. I felt the shiver of fear run down my spine, and the hairs on my arms rise to attention. I wasn't alone in the dark comfort of my small home and that knowledge was integrated in me even in my sleep. I forced myself awake, but didn't open my eyes. My senses were on high alert, the only sound was the wind hitting the windows and the pattering of raindrops on my roof, but I knew he was there. I formulated a plan to quickly get my gun out of my nightstand and get the safety off fast enough to shoot him.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly moved my hands out of the blanket, once they were free from the tangles of my comforter I counted to three before I quickly shot out of bed and pulled open my nightstand drawer. I felt around looking for my gun, but came up empty; it wasn't in there. I started to panic, and then the bedroom light flipped on. I closed my eyes tight as my breathing picked up in fear.
"Looking for this?" His voice was sadistic, but controlled. I turned around slowly to see him holding my gun up, fear and adrenaline ran through my veins like ice. James was standing in the doorway of my room, his eyes crazed, his hair a mess, and his clothes worn out. He looked like he had just emerged from a lifetime in the forest.
I glanced from him to the gun trying to formulate a new plan; one in which I stole the gun from him and shot him in the balls for even touching my gun. His frantic eyes watched me closely, like a predator as my mind ran through billions of ways to defend against him. I took a step forward gauging whether or not he would capture the action, he did.
"Don't fucking move." His voice had lost the calm it previously had.
"James," I said my hands up defensively. I kept my voice calm even though I wanted to tell him to get the fuck out of my house. I knew egging on the psycho wasn't the best idea. "What are you doing here?"
He chuckled darkly and waved the gun around as he rolled his eyes as if he were exasperated. I glanced around the room trying to recall where I had left my cell phone or if I would be able to make it to the house phone. I berated myself for keeping the house phone in my office, but watched, as James's eyes seemed to follow mine around the room. He was crazed, but he wasn't missing anything.
"You're not going to play nice are you?" He questioned as he took a step towards me, I took one back glancing over my shoulder to see I was backed up against a window.
"I don't even know what game we are playing." The words were harsh, but I really couldn't help it. I wasn't as afraid as I was pissed that he was in my house, stalking towards me, and using my gun as his weapon.
"Well, the game is a little something I like to call getting even." He grinned at me and swayed a little as he took his next step.
I looked him over a little closer and noticed that his pupils were the size of saucers. I knew that look, my mother flashed through my mind, and I knew that he was higher than the thread count on Egyptian cotton sheets. I weighed my options as I kept him talking.
"Get even, how so?"
"Come on Swan, you know… I lost my job, so you need to lose yours. My life was ruined, yours needs to be ruined. My life is going to end when I got to prison, so I thought it would only be appropriate if I ended your life to make it even."
My heart rate accelerated as if I had just realized that he planned to kill me; I mean I knew he was holding my gun in his hands, but before that moment I wasn't positive. My fight or flight instinct kicked into over drive with the fear of death looming over me. It wasn't the full force of fear for dying that was coursing through me, but more the pride in the fact that I couldn't let my death come by his hands. I couldn't let him win like that; I glanced out the window and around James towards the door.
I could jump out the window onto the lower level roof and jump from the first story to the ground, but I would most likely fall and kill myself. I could possibly get past James, he was high after all, but the way that his eyes darted around told me that it would be hard to get past him. He watched me with every breath and every move I made. I had to distract him somehow, but had no idea how I was going to do it.
"If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,"
As my ring tone sounded from somewhere down stairs, a few things happened simultaneously. James turned to look at the door hearing the song play through the room; I pushed myself off the wall and made a run for the bedroom door. James turned around to see me and lunged for me; he caught only my foot bringing me to the ground between him and the bedroom door. My head hit the edge of my dresser as gravity and James's hands around my ankle brought me down. I felt dizzy and saw black spots as the salty rusty scent of blood hit my senses, my stomach flopped and my eyes fluttered closed.
"Cause I'm as free as a bird now,"
For the second time in one day I opened my eyes to James; he was pacing back and forth in front of me, and as I shook the cloudiness from my head I realized I couldn't move. My hands were tied behind my back, and my ankles tied to the bottom of the chair, leaving me no room to move.
James noticed my eyes open and he stopped his pacing to glare at me; I glared back, suddenly realizing that escaping wasn't an option, and if I could just stay strong and alive, long enough someone would come for me. It wasn't as if I was a hermit and closed people off all the time. I had a job where I had to interact with people on a daily basis, and they would come looking for me.
"Isabella, I am very disappointed in you," James said, tilting his head as he spoke. "I thought you of all people would understand how to play the game, but then again you always have been such a stubborn girl." He really wasn't making much sense, but I was sure that didn't matter much to him.
"James, let me go," I threatened him; he laughed at me, only causing my anger to soar.
"What are you going to do? Scream?" He glanced around making his point that my house stood alone for miles. "Call someone?" He grabbed my house phone off the table showing me that he cut and destroyed phone line, and then he pulled my cell phone out of his pocket and held it up to me. "Already thirty missed calls, you will be missed."
I started moving my arms fruitlessly as I tried to get loose from the confines of the ropes, but they weren't budging.
"I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of texting your very worrisome assistant Alice, that you weren't feeling well and you would be in touch soon. I am sure she will let everyone know that you need some time alone. So that just leaves you and me to have a little fun." I cringed away from his touch, once again plotting.
I glanced around the room as I worked the ropes, which still weren't budging, while James paced talking to himself. He was speaking too low for me to understand, but I had already come to the realization that he was completely bonkers. Every time he looked at me, I would cease movement so that he wouldn't realize I was trying to break loose from the ropes.
This progressed for most of the day, my phone would ring from time to time and James would just send it to voicemail irritated. I knew with each new call that someone was getting suspicious and would come for me. As the day wore on, I knew that I was due for important meetings and someone would come looking for me and I would then get loose and beat the shit out of James's crazy ass.
"I have to piss," I said, as I realized I hadn't relieved my full bladder all day, it was a likely reason to get him to let me loose, and then I could escape. James looked up at me from his position on the couch. He had been sitting there with his hands in his hair for at least five hours just talking to himself, it was unnerving.
He let out a heavy breath and picked up the gun as he came over to me; hope flooded through me when I thought he was going to untie me, until he picked up a bowl off of the table and looked from me to it and smirked. My brows furrowed together and my mouth hung open in shock.
"You can't be serious?"
"Oh, I am. Perhaps someone shouldn't have been so rude and tried to run away," James said, shrugging his shoulders.
"This is utterly ridiculous," I huffed, as I decided that using the bathroom could wait.
"And to think it all could have been avoided," James said, as he sat the bowl down and walked over to me. He crouched down to my level and placed his hands on my shoulders, I tried to shrug him off, but it was useless. "All I needed was for you to stand by me, to help me out, and you fed me to the lions. Now I am going to do the same to you, I am going to kill you and leave you here for a buzzards of reporters to eat up and spit out."
"What do you want from me? What can I do to fix it?" I wanted to kick him the balls and blow his brains out, but those options weren't feasible at the time so I settled for negotiating with the terrorist.
"What do I want? What can you do?" He yelled, his eyes widening, his breathing heavy, and my gun pointed at my head, with his finger on the trigger.
"What I want is for you to lose it all, what I need you to do, is shut the fuck up!"
I closed my eyes as his spit flew from his mouth to my face and I had never wanted to personally harm another human being so bad in my life. I not only wanted to not only harm James, but kill him.
Hours passed, the sun rose in the sky peeking through the clouds, only to fall out of the sky and leave us in darkness. James didn't seem to have a plan, unless his plan was to drive me as crazy as he was or to torture me. Who knew that being tied to a chair for twenty-four hours could be so painful? My body ached to the point that I thought all the cushion in my joints was gone and I was rubbing bone on bone. My head pounded from lack of nutrition, water, and the fact that my bladder had only been relieved once and that was in the fucking bowl. I couldn't hold it anymore and the idea of getting a rash from pissing on myself was less pleasant than pissing in a bowl in front of James. He watched me and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it again.
My brain hurt from trying to formulate a plan, my head and body desired a release for all the pain forced on it, and my sanity was wearing thin. No one had come for me, I had been off the radar for twenty-four hours and no one had come to the house to check on me. My phone went off occasionally so I knew they were at least trying to get in touch with me, but they didn't come to the house. James was sitting on the couch silently nodding off as his high wore off and left him sleepy. I took small breaths waiting for him to completely pass out and then I would execute my next plan, it was a crazy one and I really needed him passed out cold for it. I watched him closely as his head bowed, his eyes slipped closed, the rise and fall of his chest steadied, and the weight of his body forced him to slump over in a deep slumber, suddenly the ringing of my phone sounded loudly through the quiet house abruptly waking James. Aggravated he yanked the phone out of his pocket and stared at the screen. As soon as the ring tone stopped another one started, James glared at the phone in anger.
"Fucking Alice, what the fuck. Doesn't she understand you need some quiet time," he yelled, causing me to close my eyes against the echoes of his voice in my pounding head.
He stood swaying a little and started pressing buttons on my phone, then began to read the text message or email aloud.
"Bella, I am really starting to worry about you, please call me ASAP. Alice." James rolled his eyes and messed with the phone some more, before he read another message aloud.
"B, Ali and Jazz have been up my ass all day looking for you, where are you boss lady? That lovely message was from Emmett," James said, his voice not sounding too lovely about it. The phone rang again. "God Damn it," he seethed as he opened the message and glared at the screen.
"Fuck," he spat. Throwing the phone across the room and shattering it on the wall. He started glancing around paranoid and furious, I watched him with caution and fear. He raced around the room and then he went into the kitchen, when he reemerged he was carrying a knife and I gulped as he stalked towards me. He went behind me and I waited expecting to feel the blade across my neck, but it never came. Instead, I heard the distinct sound of ropes being cut and as soon as they fell free from my ankles and wrist, I tried to make a run for it. James grabbed me by the hair stopping me and then pulled me to his chest.
"Don't fucking run, don't fucking scream, and do exactly what I tell you or I will kill Emmett and then I will kill you and when I am finished I will kill everyone else you know," he warned, and I realized that the last message must have stated that Emmett was coming over.
James made sure the door was locked and then pushed me towards the basement door, a knife at my throat and a gun in my back, I was too worried about Emmett possibly having Riley with him that I complied. I didn't want anything to happen to Emmett and I sure as hell couldn't let anything happen to Riley.
James shut and locked the basement door behind us as he ushered me down the stairs and into the small basement area. It was less of a basement and more of a storage closet, which housed my furnace and AC unit. James shoved me into a corner, his arm pushed into my neck, and the other arm came up so that he could point the gun at my head.
"If you so much as breathe too loud, I will kill him painfully and in front of you."
I closed my eyes tight and clinched my hands at my sides. I could barely move, my joints were aching and tense from being tied up so long, but I gritted my teeth and fought back the screams of pains that wanted to leave my lips. It felt like I was trapped in that small space with him forever, his body heat circling me and trying to claim me. We heard Emmett's Avalanche approach and we also heard the slam of his car door, shortly followed by three heavy rasps on my front door. There was a pause and then six louder knocks on the door, Emmett's voice carried through the house and into the basement.
"B, don't close yourself off, let me. Alice said Eddy is driving her crazy and she is overwhelmed with work. Come on, open up."
I held my eyes shut tighter wishing away the tears; what I wouldn't give to let him in. As if to remind me to stay quiet, James pushed his arm back into my throat almost choking me. It took everything in me not to start coughing. Emmett banged on the door a few more times and then I heard the sound of the lock twisting. In all my worry, fear, and anger I forgot that Emmett was one of the few people that had a key to my house.
Emmett walked through the house, his footsteps heavy, and my heart thudding with each step. He called my name and after we heard him trace through the whole house we heard him talking to someone as he walked out the front door.
"She isn't here. I let myself in and everything looks in place; are you sure she made it in…" Emmett's voice disappeared and was replaced by the sound of his truck starting up and then followed by an eerie silence.
I was once again alone with James and no hope that I would make it out alive. I let him guide me up the stairs and thankfully he didn't tie me back up to the chair, but I guess there wasn't much chance I could get away from him since I could barely walk. My body was too weak and achy.
James instead threw me on the couch and then sat down next to me pinning my legs down with his own; he sat the knife on the table just out of my reach and then pushed the gun in the cushion next to him and away from me. I watched as he reached into a bag and pulled out a syringe, a lighter, a spoon, and small clear bag. I stared at the contents anxious. I had never experimented with drugs myself, but I knew what heroin looked like. Him being high would definitely give me an advantage, but in my state I wasn't so sure that was true, but I told myself it was a good thing, until I felt the prick of the needle.
I felt the hot liquid go into my veins and I felt myself reach out and slap it away, but it was too late it was in my blood stream, James had drugged me.
"That will make you feel better, the same stuff good old mom loved," James said, his voice light with humor. In the new fog trying to take over I tried to focus on the fact that he knew something about my mom, at least he knew her drug of choice. I didn't get to think on it long before I started slipping.
Slipping into drowsy darkness, I felt numb, not much else registered after that point.
Heavy breathing…Sick laughter…Cold hands…Wrong…Swirling
I am unsure of how long I floated in a sea of uncertainty, but as I opened my heavy eyelids, I found why my body felt weighed down. James was laying half on top of me, his body like an anchor keeping me in place. My brain was in a fog and it took me a moment to catch up with everything that had happened; it was dark out, but I couldn't be sure if it was the same darkness as before or if it was another night. My stomach ached with hunger, my throat burned from dehydration, and my eyes itched. I had to escape, I had to save myself. I moved slightly to gauge how out of it James was and was happy to find that the movement didn't even stir him one bit. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath preparing myself for my great escape.
I shimmied my way up the back of the couch, my entire body aching with every move, but I somehow held it together. When I was free of James's weight I sat on the back of the couch and took a deep breath as I climbed off the couch and tip toed to the door. I glanced back once I made it to the door and then I unlocked it and swung it open. I didn't look back again, I just ran; I knew it was at least a half mile to the next house, but as long as I was out of the house I hoped I could get far enough from him to make my escape.
"Isabella," James screamed, after me. He had woken up and he was after me; I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, but it felt like gravity was holding me back, as if I wasn't really moving at all.
I made it to the end of the driveway, but he caught me. I felt his hands dig into my scalp and my hair rip out of its roots as he yanked me back and shoved the cold gun into my back.
There was no escaping him; I couldn't get away from him. I could feel myself giving up and giving in. I knew it wasn't possible for me to get away from him, so I let him drag me back, I had no fight left.
James threw me into the chair once again and tied me up, and then he hit me in the face rapidly and repeatedly, while he screamed at me.
"You stupid bitch, I tried to play nice, I made you feel good, but I won't do it anymore. Game over!"
People say that there is this moment, this intense moment, where you will be completely terrified of death, when your life will flash before your eyes. If I were a normal person I was sure that this would have been my moment, but my life didn't pass before me and I wasn't terrified, I was pissed off, I was fed up, and I had given up.
James pressed the barrel of the gun against my forehead just between my eyes, his hold on it was steady, telling me that James had no problem pulling the trigger and that he held no second thoughts about it. I let my eyes scan the room quickly, taking in my living room, my home; it would be the last time that I saw it, but it wouldn't be the last thing that I saw. No, if he was going to kill me, he was going to have to do it looking into my eyes, and he was going to have to live the rest of his life haunted by them. Therefore, after one last look at my autographed bat and the photo of my father and me fishing in La Push, I looked into his dark sinister eyes and waited.
His eyes were crazed; he was completely bat shit; he had lost everything in his life, and his mind was the last to go. There was nothing left, and I knew that he somehow blamed me and he planned to get his revenge on me. He had held me in my home for three days and now I sat before him tied to a chair, again, in my own home with a gun between my eyes, because of all the things that went wrong in his life. I would die for no reason; and I knew that it would hurt a few people, but they would survive without me. A part of my brain wondered if Edward would miss me or if he would just move on; in the pits of my soul he was the one person I needed to say goodbye too, along with my father who had raised me. James's may have been the last thing I saw, but my last thoughts were on Edward, as James's finger twitched pulling the trigger….
Death didn't come, my brain didn't splatter, and a sob caught in my throat. The dumbass hadn't taken the safety off; James stared at the gun annoyed. Either he was still high or the fucker had no clue when it came to guns.
"Fuck," he said, looking over the gun. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked up shocked to see my father easing around the edge of my kitchen wall. He signaled for me to stay quiet and I tried to control my breathing as he made his way over to James, who's back stiffened as he felt the gun press against the back of his head.
"Put the weapon on the floor and then put your hands behind your head," Charlie said, sounding like the cop that he was, I watched scared for my father's life. James was volatile and irrational in his crazed state and I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to my father.
James chuckled darkly and made no move to put the gun down, instead he looked it over trying to figure out why it didn't go off, and why I was still alive? Charlie pulled his arm back and knocked James with the butt of his gun, sending James to the ground.
"Dad," I cried, as he holstered his gun and made his way over to me.
"Bella, sweetheart, I am so sorry I should have know something was wrong and came sooner," my dad said, as he untied me. Once my hands were free I hugged him tight, but he suddenly tensed up and threw me out of the way.
James came after him with a knife in his hands and I saw it hit my father's skin, the sound of flesh tearing. Siren's were wailing outside and I could see the lights flashing through my windows. I could smell the rusty smell of blood and I reached down and picked up my gun. James and my father were wrestling on the floor; James grabbed my father's gun out of his holster and pointed it at my dad's head. I pointed my gun at James's head switching the safety off.
An officer was talking through a bullhorn outside, telling James to release the hostages, but none of us moved. James kept the gun at my father's head and I could see the safety was off, if he pulled the trigger, my father would die.
"Let him go, this has nothing to do with him," I said, through my teeth. I was truly terrified and pissed off beyond reasoning. I just wanted to blow James's head off, I wanted him dead.
It seemed like we sat there for ages, none of us moving; my father had his hand covering a wound in his side. Blood seeped through his fingers and I didn't know how bad the wound was, but I wasn't about to let him bleed to death.
"James, I am going to count to three and if you don't remove the gun from his head, I am going to shoot you," I warned him.
"One…two…three…" I aimed for his arm that was holding the gun and pulled the trigger, he cried out in pain as he fell back dropping the gun. My father moved fast to grab the gun, but James got it first and fired off a shot at me. I yelled as it barely missed me and shot James again, this time in the collarbone.
The next thing that happened was the swat team ran in and yelled at me to drop my weapon, a shot firing outside of the house scared us all. I looked out the window horrified as I caught a glimpse of bronze hair in a mix of flying limps in my yard. I pushed past the swat team and ran out the front door to see Emmett on top of Edward as if he had just tackled him and the officer behind him with his gun pointed in the air. He had fired off a warning shot, but what I couldn't figure out was what Emmett and Edward were doing; I looked around horrified as the flashes started. Outside of a line of yellow caution tape were reporters and camera crews, there were people lining my property. An ambulance was parked near the cop cars, EMT's ran past me into the house where my father was. I looked down to the ground and my eyes locked with emeralds.
Edward looked terrified, but as our eyes meet, I saw relief flash through them. Emmett was pulled off of him and an officer was replaced. He got Edward in a position ready to cuff him and my instincts to protect him kicked in.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I asked the officer as I pushed forward.
"He trespassed into a crime scene, during a hostage situation," Deputy Johnson replied.
"Let him go, how about you arrest the real criminal and not my client," I ordered, and Johnson listened. He gave Edward a warning and then headed into the house; I looked into Edward's eyes, but before I could admire getting to see his face again, I was scooped up into a giant bear hug.
"Fuck Bella, don't ever scare me like that again," Emmett said, as he held me so tight I could barely breath.
As soon as he put me down a pair of dainty arms wrapped around me and Alice sobbed into my shoulder, with Jasper hugging me around her; I hugged them back, but stared into Edward's eyes over their shoulders. There was so much emotion there and I wanted his strong arms around me more than I ever wanted anything in my life. As soon as Alice and Jasper eased up on their hugs I was going to go to Edward, but my name was called and I turned to see my father on a gurney being pushed towards an ambulance.
He had a superficial stab wound, but it did need a number of stitches. The paramedics also looked me over as we rode to the hospital; it was in the ambulance ride that everything settled in on me.
I had been held hostage for three days; I had been drugged, beat, and nearly killed. My father had saved me and I had shot James, twice. I had no idea what went on while I was drugged, I remember feeling James's hands on me and feeling wrong, I started crying as I recalled all of this. I was crying so hard I was hyperventilating. I could hear my father's worried voice calling my name, he was on the gurney with a knife wound, but he was calling my name. I couldn't answer him, I couldn't concentrate, and I suddenly felt cold and numb.
"She's in shock," I heard someone say as my head spun. I felt my chest constrict and my heart beat furiously. I was suddenly terrified and in a zombie state, but feeling overwhelmed at the same time.
I was in a haze as I was pushed through the hospital, separated from my father; I heard doctors and nurses saying things like sedatives, and IV's. I was there in body, but not in mind; I was suddenly reliving it all in my head. Every piece of it and I couldn't escape it. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there in a daze.
"Isabella, we are going to do a rape kit now, alright," a doctor, said. I nodded but didn't pay attention as he did the examination. I was numb to the idea of what this meant, had James raped me?
I listened as he told me that I wasn't raped and I felt relieved, but couldn't escape the numbness. I heard another doctor come in and tell me that my father was fine. I sat and listened as Deputy Johnson told me that James was in critical, but stable condition; apparently, one of the bullets hit an artery and he lost a lot of blood, but was expected to make it. I couldn't help, but be a little disappointed. Even though I wasn't feeling or comprehending anything, I wanted him dead. He had turned my life upside down; he had gone crazy and ruined everything.
I didn't know where to go from there, I was lost and I was numb.
Then he walked in and I felt something more than numb; I felt safe as Edward's arms warped around me, he was warm and comforting. His breath on my ear was soothing like a lullaby and his voice was heaven to my ears.
"Bella, oh God, I was terrified I was going to lose you before I even had you," he whispered, holding me tight.
My heart swelled with emotion and I clung to him for dear life and broke down into sobs. I was glad James didn't kill me, because if he had I wouldn't have known that Edward would be the first guy that I ever loved.
Please review, they are almost better than realizing you are in love with Edward. (almost)