Chapter 14
9th April 2014
Kanda woke up the next morning to find that sometime during the night Lenalee had rolled over onto his mattress and was now pressed up against him. Thanking whatever power may govern the luck passages that the other two were still asleep he started to slowly edge himself into a position that he could roll her back onto her own mattress. However, the minute he tried to move she kind of… latched onto his arm. He tried to remove his arm from her but… Jesus Christ this girl was strong! He tried to gently pry her arms from around his, but all that did was make her squeeze tighter.
Fucking hell! he thought as he flopped back down onto the mattress, giving up, She must do Pilates or something.
Then to his horror (and guilty delight), she started… nuzzling his neck and then just rested there, her arms wrapped around his arm and her face pressed against the crook of his neck. Kanda lay there, feeling more than a little nervous, praying to… whatever he prayed to, to make sure that the other two morons in the room stayed asleep.
Please let her let go, he thought desperately, I don't want to look like some fucking creepy pervert and I don't want her lunatic brother finding out about this. But… it's kind of nice, just lying here with her and she looks so beautiful and peaceful…
This thought was immediately cut into a thousand tiny pieces by Kanda's psychological samurai sword and then burnt. With Wildfire. Game of Thrones style.
Suddenly, there was the soft but unmistakable sound of an iPhone taking a photo. He glanced over and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the stupid rabbit tucking his phone away. The rabbit grinned at him, making a peace sign, before rolling over and latching onto the moyashi.
That fuckwit, thought Kanda venomously, Is so fucking dead. And that phone will be at the bottom of the Yarra River within the next two hours, I swear.
20th April 2014
"You know, I am such a devoted friend," said Lavi grumpily as he and Allen walked up the street towards where Kanda supposedly lived, (Allen thought the address was probably a lie and the prick lived in a cardboard box or something), "Even after he tossed my phone in the river I still come to visit him bearing chocolate on Easter Sunday."
"Yes, after everything he's done to you it's a surprise you still even talk to the prick," said Allen, glancing around at the houses they were walking past. They weren't too far from Lenalee's house and the neighbourhood was much the same as hers. Very nice architecture.
"Here we are!" announced Lavi, stopping outside a large brick terrace building. Allen stared for a moment, rubbed his eyes to make he wasn't seeing things, and then said incredulously, "Kanda lives here? How can he afford to pay the rent?!"
"Hm?" said Lavi as they moved to a smaller side street, "Oh, Yuu doesn't live in the whole thing. It's divided up into, like, three apartments. The entrance to his place is just over there."
The entrance to Kanda's place turned out to be a tall corrugated iron gate with a letter slot and a doorbell set to one side of it. Allen was about to ring the doorbell when Lavi grabbed his hand and said, "No man! Yuu won't let us in if we ring the doorbell."
"Then how do you propose we get in?" asked Allen skeptically. Lavi looked at the top of the gate, and then at Allen, and grinned. Guessing what the redhead was thinking, Allen immediately started shaking his hands in front of him and said, "No. No no no no! Not happening. Sorry, wrong number, I refuse."
"Why not? Come on, I'll just give you a little boost and you'll be up and over in no time and then you can let me in! It'll be easy!"
"Easy?! I'm sorry, but have you forgotten that this is the residence of Yuu flipping Kanda who happens to hate me?! I will be shot if I do this!"
"Guns are illegal here man, and Yuu doesn't wanna get arrested so he doesn't have one. He does have a sword though… might wanna watch out for that."
"A sword?! What the bloody hell?! Why does he have a sword?!"
"I don't know. He smuggled it over from Japan or something. But anyway, Yuu won't hear you because his apartment's upstairs. It's cool man!" he crouched down and made a step with his interlinked hands, "Come on! Let's do this!"
"Why do I have to do it?!"
"Cause I'm stronger and taller and you wouldn't be able to boost me. And also, I want a nice view."
"But I have so much left to live for. I don't want to die yet. And you're thinking illegally again."
"So do I," replied Lavi, still grinning. He then put on an adorable little puppy dog face and blinked his eye, begging, "Please? Do it for me? I want to have that nice view so I can die happy if Yuu catches us."
Allen stared at him for a moment and bit his lip, thinking, Resist Allen. Resist! He then sighed and said, "Fine. But you are paying for my doctor's bill if I get stabbed."
He walked over and placed one foot in Lavi's hand and then pushed himself up and managed to grab onto the top of the gate, thinking, Our Father who art in Heaven, please-
"Here we go!" said Lavi happily, before boosting him up so that the white haired boy overbalanced and toppled over the gate. He managed to land in a crouch, breathing heavily. He remained still and silent for a moment, half expecting an enraged Yuu Kanda to come hurtling around the corner, sword in hand but nothing happened. He sighed in relief and Lavi called to him, "Hey Brit! You still alive!"
"Yes," grumbled Allen, unlocking the gate and letting the redhead in, "Thanks for the warning."
"Hey man, you haven't been chopped into pieces, have you?" said Lavi with a shrug as they closed the gate and continued on up the brick garden path. At the end of the path they broke out into an enormous, neglected, tangled garden. It was like looking at a very dense patch of jungle. A rusty table and chairs stood nearby and a string of coloured lights was strung in between and large creeper covered tree and a balcony that was placed a storey above them.
"I think Yuu lives up there," said Lavi, pointing to the balcony, which, Allen now noticed, had a screen door propped open at the top of it. And if he wasn't mistaken, guitar music was wafting out through the open doorway. He looked down and saw that the only way to get up to the balcony was via an incredibly narrow, incredibly rusty, vine covered, not-very-safe looking spiral staircase. Lavi gestured for him to follow, and both of them nervously started climbing.
Allen could see the headlines now: Two Teenage Boys Killed In Tragic Accident When Completely Unsafe Rusty Staircase Collapses. Friend They Were Breaking In To See Remains Unmoved, Saying "Fuckwits Broke My Staircase."
When Lavi reached the top, he stopped suddenly and stared. He then scuttled over to one side and beckoned for Allen to join him at the top. Allen did and when he saw what Lavi was staring at he couldn't help but stare to.
Kanda was sitting on a couch in front of the door, and in his hands he held a black guitar, which he was playing perfectly. With his eyes closed. Allen jaw dropped open and he mumbled to Lavi, "Holy crap. I thought that was a CD."
"I know right?" Lavi mumbled back, as shocked as Allen was. Suddenly Kanda's grey eyes snapped open and he stopped playing, bolting to his feet, shouting, "FUCK! WHAT THE HELL?!"
Allen and Lavi stood up, Allen getting ready to run if need be, and Lavi said cheerfully, "Hey Yuu! I didn't know you could play the guitar. You're really good!"
"WHAT THE FUCK," shouted Kanda, "ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! FUCK! WHY ARE YOU HERE?! I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU MY ADDRESS BECAUSE I WANT TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU SOMETIMES! FUCK!"
"Calm down Yuu," said Lavi mildly. Allen decided that it was best for him to remain silent at the moment. Kanda, still raging, yelled, "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY ADDRESS?!"
"Tiedoll," Lavi replied simply. Kanda stared at him for a moment before saying ominously, "That's it. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him," his eyes then snapped back up to Allen and Lavi and he growled, "But first…"
"Oh shit," said Lavi before turning to Allen and saying frantically, "Time to bail. Abort the mission Brit! Abort, abort!"