XIV. October 23, 1996 – December 12, 1996

Hermione sighed as she put her books away in her bag. Another translation in Runes was due again tomorrow. This year she had been completely swamped with homework to prepare her for the NEWTs coming up at the end of the year. And unlike last year when she had a companion who was taking the same classes as she was this year she constantly felt alone. It seemed that when Ron and Harry put their books away and headed up to the dormitory to sleep, she hardly halfway done with her load.

Also, unlike last year, she didn't have the constant distraction of having a pen pal to avert her attention from her homework, which she knew was beneficial in the long run. Upon returning to school she had gone straight to the Owlery to first see if any more paper was there, and after realizing there was not, she looked around for Rayne who was nowhere to be found.

This had happened in September and it was now late October and Hermione hadn't received one clue to what had happened. She tried taking out some old parchment they had written on before and asked if he was there and to respond to her, but every day when she returned to her dormitory and pulled out the notes, they were still unanswered. She tried thinking of other possible solutions like buying a special ink and parchment from a quill store or seeing if Fred and George could make one, but all those didn't work out. It was either to difficult to make, or nobody had ever heard of such a thing.

One day during Charms class, while she was sitting in class a though sprung to her head. What about the Remus today? Does he remember? When she thought back to the encounters of him in the present, she realized they were clouded. They had been written over by so many other conversations with the 1976 Remus that the Remus in her time seemed like a fictional character. But the more she thought about the more something bugged her about what the present day Remus had said to her. He had given her something… It was… a note.

Her eyes lit up and the lock and key she was supposed to charm to open somehow turned into a quacking duck. But it was no matter, she didn't care if she failed the lesson. She quickly walked up to Professor Flitwick and asked if she could be excused to use the bathroom. She grabbed her things and left in a rush without saying so much as a word to Harry and Ron.

What had the note said? She asked herself as she flew down the corridors. Was it a clue for her to connect with him again? Her mind whirled into action. It must have been, mustn't it? What else would he tell her? She raced up to her dormitory and threw various articles of clothing out of her trunk onto the floor. She ignored the annoyed remarks that Parvati gave her because Hermione had disturbed the nap she was taking in her free period. She couldn't find it and gave out a loud groan in frustration when her eyes snapped open again. She wrenched out her wand and shouted "Accio note!" triumphantly into the air.

A small piece of parchment came whizzing from an old bag she had tossed under her bed. Her heart pounded as it was retracted to her hand. This was it. This was the answer. After this she'd have her Remus back. She opened the folded piece of paper and frowned at the words in front of her. Immediately upon seeing them she remembered what they were and remembered that they weren't direction to bring him back to her. They were simply a warning.

Watch your owl.

She understood it clearly now. Watch your owl, it all made perfect sense. If she had paid more attention to it, it'd probably still be here flapping through the time zones delivering them letters. But no, she had gotten too wrapped up into him. Too wrapped up into falling in love with a boy she could never be with. Even if he was the same as he was then, he was still too old for her. He had made a big deal about being too old for Tonks, and Hermione was younger than Tonks.

The next month had passed by as slow, if not slower, than the previous month had. It was now late November and after still looking at the old notes with no new writing, Hermione finally decided to say goodbye. Perhaps some day in the future he would read it and know that she was still thinking about him.

She felt her throat well up as she pulled out a sheet that had less writing on it than all the other. She took in a deep breath as she dipped her quill into the ink. And biting her lip she pressed it to the paper and began to write:

'November 23, 1996
My dearest Remus,

It has been five months since we have spoken. I have a feeling inside of me that tells me this will be the last time we will talk. This is an incredibly hard thing for me to do. I do not want to say goodbye to you but I feel that this is the only thing left to do. I can't carry on with my head in the clouds dreaming of you and my heart in 1976 loving you. If sometime in the future, you read this, I hope that you know that I loved you. I will always remember you, Remus, as my first love.

Though, I am going to request one thing from you, Remus. I ask, that if sometime in the future we meet each other, please do not bring this up to me. Because we are in a relationship that can never be, I am going to try my best to carry on and live and love without you. Although it will be extremely hard for me, it is something that must be done. But please remember, I love you, Remus. And I will never stop.

Love,
your dearest Hermione.'

Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she set down her quill and sat back to look at the final product. The ink had now sunken in to the parchment, but she couldn't stand the sight of it any longer. It was time to let go, she told herself. Time to move on. She moved to her trunk and picked out all the other letters that had been there. She gathered them onto her bed and took out her wand. She took in a deep breath and then said it. "Destructo!" she cried into the air and the letters were blasted up into flames. She let out a loud sob and curled down to the floor crying furiously.

She stayed there for what felt like hours until suddenly the door opened and two arms surrounded her and started to caress her hair and comfort her. They were arms that belonged to a man. Hermione sniffled a little and closed her eyes. She felt comfortable, in this stranger's arms. She imagined this was how it would feel to be in Remus' arms. Then a thought slowly began to form in her mind. She kept her eyes closed. Was this Remus? She had written the date on the letter. Had he come to her? Her heart began to pound. Slowly she looked up into the face of her beholder and she took in his image. It was Ron, resting his head atop hers with his eyes closed.

During the next few days, Hermione began to slowly accept the idea of being more than friends with Ron. After all they had known each other for quite a while now. She knew his family, they liked her. It was clear to her now, why he had taken attraction to her. Why had she not thought of it so sooner? Ron did not ask why she sat crying alone in her dormitory that afternoon and Hermione figured that he had not told Harry. It was some of a relief to not have to explain it to them. They never asked about Remus anyway.

And a few days after, as she walked down the corridor with Ron and Harry to go to dinner, she found Ron standing unusually close to her and felt his fingertips brushing against hers. Then she felt him slowly move his hand to hold hers in his. She looked down at the sight surprised, then up and him. He just smiled at her. And then her heart told her to smile back.

A few days before they were to leave for the Burrow before the Christmas holidays, they sat in the Great Hall. Ron's arm was slung over Hermione's shoulders. Pigwedgeon dropped a letter onto Ron's plate. Ron removed his hand to open it and began to read aloud.

"Its from Mum," he announced. "She's excited for us to come over… blah, blah, blah… Tell Ginny not to forget her jumper… blah, blah… Bill and Fleur are in town… more blah… oh! Look here! Remus and Tonks are getting married!" he exclaimed.

Hermione felt her mouth fall and her fork clattered to her plate. Ron and Harry looked at her surprised. "S-Sorry," she apologized picking it up and blushing. "Its just er – interesting you know?" she said quickly, trying to cover it up. But inside her stomach was raging with confusion, jealousy and everything in between.