However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I'll always love you.

Lovesong - Adele

Draco – 23 months.

Bella.

Although I agreed to move Draco and myself into Edward's new house, it didn't officially happen for a couple months afterwards. It took me that long to convince myself that it was a good idea and that we wouldn't regret anything. And for a couple of months after we moved in, everything seemed to be going really well. Draco had enrolled into a day care and we had bought him his first 'big boy' bed for when he's too old for his crib. It's a Disney Pixar 'Cars' bed in the shape of Lightning McQueen. It's low enough to the ground so that Draco can touch the floor with his tip-toes when he's sitting on it. He loves having his own room. With his new train track circled around a pile of teddies. Just like any other toddler, he loves piling up his toys and watching as they crumble down to the ground. For the first couple weeks, Edward and I had to settle him every night and make him understand that we were just down the hall – during the evening, I would wake up to him calling out for me.

Now, a month before Draco's second birthday, everything went back to normal. And when I say it went back to normal, I mean Edward has gone back to normal. Back to the annoying, egotistical asshole I first knew. Rosalie heard from a friend of a friend about a vacancy at a car garage in Seattle. Emmett heard from Rosalie, Edward heard from Emmett and he couldn't have applied quicker. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against him finding a job – it's just what we need to do, but I wouldn't have gone for one as far away as Seattle. He has to leave by 6am at the latest, and doesn't get home till seven or eight o'clock that evening. And when he does get home, he complains about being too tired, eats his dinner and goes to bed. Barely greeting Draco or myself.

On the days off, I try my best to get a large chunk of my work done. But even then, when Edward has the perfect chance to interact with his son, he moans at me and complains about not getting any help. Urgh, what a bastard. Because of this, we do argue occasionally. Nothing serious, but we've noticed the changes in Draco because of them. He's learnt what damage can be done by throwing your fists around or swinging your legs. When we tell him 'no', he screams and runs away to hide. This isn't right. I can't have Draco growing up with memories of his parents fighting and shouting at each other twenty-four-seven.

At least tomorrow is a Wednesday – Draco spends the whole day at daycare. I can tick some things off of my ever growing To-Do List.

xxx

Waking up to over-hear Edward and Draco having a conversation confused the living hell out of me. It is Wednesday, yeah? Edward never has Wednesday's off… so why is he still here when Draco's awake? Oh God… please don't say Draco has woken up at this ungodly hour…If he's awake now, and doesn't go back to sleep, he'll be cranky and restless all day. And if he's awake, I'll have to be awake and I won't have the time to nap with all the duties needed to be done, and then I'll get cranky and restless and it would not be a fun environment to be in.

I slipped from my bed, shoved on an over-sized sweater and padded down to the kitchen. Edward was cutting an apple into suitable chunks for Draco to nibble on. It didn't go unnoticed how… attractive he looked in his blue overalls, halved so the arms are tied around his waist like a belt and a white wife beater. With his job, he's working in the garage – doing little jobs here and there and completing the necessary paper work, as well as being taught how to become the mechanic he's apparently always wanted to be.

I seemed to have arrived just as Edward started playing our new word game. "What's this?" He would point to the apples in our fruit bowl and Draco mumbled out his answer. "Good boy. And… what's this?"

"Juuuuice."

"Ada boy! Who's this?"

"Mummy."

"That's your mummy. Who am I?" Edward prodded his chest with a finger.

"Daddyyy."

"And… who is this?" With a large smile, Edward leant across the breakfast bar and tickled Draco's podgy tummy.

"Mine!" We haven't managed to help him understand the difference between 'mine' and 'me' yet.

"And what is your name?"

"Drah-co…" He whispered timidly.

As Edward praised our talented son, I made myself a cup of coffee – I was going to need it. I wanted to ask Edward why Draco was up at this time, but I doubt it was even his fault, and he had dressed him and made him some breakfast, whilst in a rush to get ready himself. I could probably hold back my negativities for now.

"By the way, Bella, I'll be finishing at twelve today, so I'll pick up Draco on my way home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, absolutely – I'll be driving past it around that time anyway."

"Okay, well, thanks."

"Not a problem. I better go, see you later." We gave each other and quick hug before Edward went to say goodbye to Draco. "Give daddy kisses?" Draco leant forward to, well, to give daddy kisses. "bye-bye, buddy."

"Ba-bye."

I held my boy on my side and we both waved to Edward through the window as he drove off.

"Daddy gone."

"Daddy has gone to work, but we will see him later."

"Noooo daddy gone!"

"Baby boy, daddy will be back as soon as you've finished at day care. Got it? No need to cry, poppet."

xxx

Dropping Draco off at daycare proved to be just as challenging as any other day. When we pull up to the gates, he's happy and smiling and eager for me to let him out and take him inside, but the second he's passed over to someone else and sees that I'm about to leave, his bottom lip starts to wobble and he starts to cry. I notice his little friend, Lewis, playing quietly nearby. We try our best to get Draco settled and playing with Lewis, but all he wanted is for me to take him home. I hate this – if I could, I would keep Draco home all the time, but what good would that do him?

"I love you, I'll see you later." I make my exit quick and as pain free as possible. Before leaving, I inform them that Edward will be collecting Draco, just so that they knew and for child protection laws and that. On my way home, I stopped off at the supermarket for the weekly shop and to pick up something special for dinner. It's a rare occasion for Edward to finish work early and in time to join us for dinner, so I bought some pricey steaks which we could enjoy.

I spent the day putting on bundles of washing, getting stuck into my course work and preparing the steaks for later. By three o'clock – when Edward and Draco are supposed to be home – I had some apple chunks and a cup of apple juice waiting for my little boy to enjoy after his long day. I couldn't wait to bring him into my arms and cuddle him close. So when the doorbell rang, I practically sprinted to the door.

"Hey bay-… Jacob…hi."

I have nothing against Jacob coming over, but he was not who I expected to see. "Alright, Bells. Hope you don't mind me popping by unannounced."

"No, not at all. Sorry, I just thought you were Edward bringing Draco home."

"Aw, is my little man not here?" Jacob has been amazing with my son, and their friendship really warms my heart.

"I'm afraid not, but they should be here in a minute. Come on in."

Jacob and I were so engrossed in our conversations that I never noticed the time flying by, and only realised when my phone started to ring. It was Draco's daycare calling, the lady on the other end introduced herself as Tracey. "I would like to inform you that Draco is still waiting on someone to come and get him."

"What?" I nearly screamed down the phone. The time on the oven said three-forty-one; nearly an hour since Draco should have been picked up. To say that I'm angry is the understatement of the century.

"We've being trying to get a hold of his father but haven't been successful."

"I'm so sorry about this, I'll be straight over."

Edward has some major explaining to do.

xxx

Seven o'clock that evening, we still hadn't heard a word from Edward. For a while I had been worried in case he had been in an accident, but Esme and Carlisle would have been informed and they would have passed the message on to me. What hurt the most, and made me even angrier, was the way Draco acted since he came home. He may only be two years old, but he's not stupid. He knew daddy was getting him from day care; he was practically abandoned for a good hour and now that daddy isn't here, he's not himself. He's moody, crying constantly and if I even try to leave the room, he freaks out and calls my name.

Edward won't know what hit him when he walks through this door.

Jacob had headed home already. I bathed Draco, read him a night time story and settled him off to sleep, and then started on my dinner. I refused to cook Edward anything – it sounds harsh, but he's below my shit list right now. Piss about with me; I'll more than likely forgive you. Piss about with my son, and you're walking a very fine line.

Shortly after eight o'clock, I took notice to the humming of his car parking up front. His eyes met my menacing gaze the second he walked through the door. "Don't start, Bella." He sauntered past me and headed for the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"Shower." He muttered miserably.

"Your shower can wait. Get down here. Now."

I expected Edward to ignore my command and continue up the stairs, but he didn't – he huffed and gripped tightly on his hair, but turned to join me in the hall way. "Tell me, right now, what was more important than picking up Draco."

"I was asked to join a friend for lunch."

That took the biscuit. "And you didn't think about telling me? Because of you, Draco was left for an hour, with no idea if anyone was coming to get him. How could you do that? And why did it take you this long to get home? It's not hard to pick up a … fucking phone!"

"Look, Bella, I know you're angry and I -."

"—No! I'm not 'angry' – I'm far from angry; you don't understand, you can't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now."

"What do you mean I don't understand? Of course I understand! I'm a fucking parent as well!"

My hands made a fist by my sides. I willed myself not to hit him or anything else in the room. "Then act like one!"

"I do!"

Oh God, this conversation is not funny in the slightest, but I had the urge to laugh. "So are you saying that you've been the best dad that you can be?"

"No, because I know I've made mistakes; we all have."

"Yes, I have made mistakes. But not telling me that you can't pick Draco up, is not a mistake, it could be seen as a form of neglect. Do you not have a heart?"

Edward turned his back on me and walked into the kitchen, I followed him. He took a seat at the table and slapped his hands down on the wood. "Fuck, Bella… I…" What sounded like a growl erupted from his tense body. "I never planned this! I never wanted this life!"

"And you think I did? No, I didn't. But I put my love for Draco before anything else and stuck with it! At first you didn't want anything to do with us, but then you changed, and now, you seemed to have changed again." Before Edward could respond a faint cry came from upstairs. I had to silently thank Draco for his interruption; anymore arguing could have resulted in us saying things we really did not mean. I mentioned the steak waiting for him in the fridge if he wanted it, then took my leave.

I met an alarming noise as I entered his bedroom – a cough. I know a cough is hardly alarming, but Draco could make any kind of sound and I'd freak out for a second or five. He coughed again before I reached his crib. His cheeks were red, his eyes watery and a little line of snot run to his upper lip. Whenever he coughed or sneezed, he started to cry.

"Come here, baby." Draco eagerly cuddled into my chest. We went into the bathroom and pulled a couple soft tissues from their box. Just like any two-year-old, Draco hated me wiping his nose; he twisted his head from side to side, nearly wiping his snotty nose on the sleeve of my t-shirt. I call down the stairs for Edward to bring up a sippy cup of water, and then decided to lie down on my bed, with Draco curled up on my front. I ran my fingers through his hair and patted his back to soothe his coughs.

"What's up?" Edward slowly approached us, handing over the cup.

"He's got a common cold." I made Draco sit up as Edward passed him the water. He refused to even take a sip. "Come on, poppet. The drink will make it all better."

It took a fairly long time to get him to drink anything, but he did in the end, and went back to snooze on my chest. "Is there… um… is there anything I could do to help?"

"It's fine, I've got it."

"Okay… well… if you need some help just ask." Edward left us in peace, leaving my door open a touch as he walked out. Although Draco had fallen asleep again, he still coughed, sniffed and made whimpering noises which broke my heart; I wish I could magic his illness away, but I know a little cold is far from the worst thing that I'll face as the years go by.

In the silence I thought about all the feelings that ran through me today. I began to debate on my actions; should I have, or should I not have said what I said? Angel Bella advised for me to apologise, whereas Devil Bella told me to wait for Edward to do the apologising – he started it after all. I don't feel like I was in the wrong; I was doing what any parent should. Just because he's 'daddy', doesn't mean I need to act any different when something could easily harm my child.

I don't doubt that Edward loves him – I never have – and I understand how he feels towards becoming a parent at such a young age and by complete surprise, but I never planned this either – I was scared shitless when I saw the haunting plus sign on a pregnancy test, but after deciding to stick with it, I have to keep up with my promise and force myself to become the mother I have always wanted to be. And Edward has to do the exact same.

I attempted to put Draco back in his crib once I was certain he wouldn't awake. I was wrong. The second he left my arms, his whining started up again. I couldn't bare leaving him in this state, so I took him back to my bed with me. I have my bed up against the wall, which meant I could rest without the worry of him rolling off during the night.

I never heard anything from Edward for the rest of the night. I'm not going to lie, it pissed me off that he didn't come to say goodnight to his son. I didn't hear the sound of that shower he was so eager to have either. Chances were we wouldn't see him until he came home from work the next day.

xxx

I woke a few hours later to an empty bed. I never managed to freak out over Draco's whereabouts, because his sweet voice could be heard from down the hall. "Daddy!" He called, desperate for an answer. "Daddy!"

Jumping out of bed, I went to my son and crouched down next to him. "Draco, sweetheart, it's very late; let's go back to bed." The look he gave me sent chills through my body – I've never seen someone look so upset and worried at the same time.

"Daddy gone."

"Come on, poppet." Taking his hand, we went to Edward's room; I knocked a couple times, and then slowly opened the door. Expecting to see him asleep in bed, but he wasn't there.

"Daddy?"

"He's probably just downstairs. Let's go find him."

But we didn't find him downstairs either.

What we did find, however, was a letter on the kitchen table.

I didn't want to know what it said, even though I had to.

My name was written in neat italics on the front.

I wanted to get this said without the interruptions or the raised voices. I would very much like you to read what I have to say before you start questioning me at all. Of course I feel ashamed for not collecting him and I honestly do not have an excuse for not phoning, I can only apologise for that. And if you question me 'having a heart' or not, then I would like you to remember one thing: I have felt pain that a lot of people cannot even begin to describe. I have been this close to losing both you and Draco in one go, do you even know how that feels? We've never talked about that day (we barely talk period) but watching your heart just… stop, will haunt me for the rest of my days. When I heard that we had a healthy son, my whole view on life changed. I promised him, myself and you that I would do whatever it took to love him, to care for him and to make sure that he lived a life he deserves.

Nothing in this world means more to me than Draco. Everything I do now is for him and you. Maybe you should decide against accusing me of 'neglect' and all the other bullshit before you speak your words. I don't want to fight with you, Bella, but it seems to be the only thing we do nowadays. So please remind our son that I love him, that I'm incapable of ever feeling anything else, and that I'll see him soon. I'm staying with a friend, don't worry about me. I want to make this work, I want to share five words with you without them turning into a shouting match and so, when that can happen, I will come back. But until then, keep safe. For me.

Edward.

xxx

Please trust me, guys…