Chapter Fourteen
It was the first time she'd ever woken up sore.
As she surfaced from the haze of forgotten dreams, the protests in her muscles began to make themselves known. She'd fallen asleep easily after last night's battle, relieved they'd found the feather in this world. The soreness itself had actually lulled her into a deeper state of rest, her body demanding a break after the strain of the night.
Now, the dull ache pulled her from her slumber. A deep throbbing along her jaw prompted her to lift a hand to her face. At the lightest touch, a jolt of pain shot through her head. She vaguely remembered Ryon punching her before slamming her into a wall. That likely accounted for most of the damage. A little bit higher and he could've given me a concussion, she thought, sitting up.
Her arms ached from pulling the bowstring too far, and the rest of her muscles had turned to rigid cords along her body. Though she felt a rush of vertigo when she stood, she decided she was well enough to get up and walk around.
"First light" apparently meant "whenever everyone gets around to waking up" because when she peered out the window, the sun was high in the sky, and any trace of Ryon's gang had vanished. Kurogane had crashed on one of the beds in the guestroom. Syaoran slept dreamily on the other. Yukito slept on the floor in front of Touya's bed. The only person who was awake besides herself was Fai.
"Good morning, Sakura-chan," he said. His voice was bright but soft, so as not to wake the others. "You're looking better."
How did I look when I went to bed? she wondered, trying to imagine how bad her face looked now. She rubbed her eye, wincing.
"There's a bathroom just past Touya-san's room, if you want to clean up."
She nodded, the movement sending another spark of pain across her face. She wondered if her jaw had fractured, then decided it would probably hurt even worse if it had.
When she reached the bathroom, the first thing she did was take stock of her appearance. The bruise her fingers had only just perceived was black and bulging. It disfigured half her face, spreading from her chin to the bottom of her eye. A patch of dried blood marred her swollen lower lip. But the bruising on her face was the worst of her injuries.
She found a washcloth in one of the cabinets and wet it down in the sink. Once it was damp, she went to work wiping the brown crust of her blood(she thought it was hers, anyway)off her face. Every swipe of the washcloth intensified the ache, until her eyes burned with tears.
When she was done, she went back to the living room. Fai handed her a wooden bowl filled with some creamy liquid. "What's this?"
"In my world, they call it oatmeal. I've added some sugar so it won't taste quite so bland. Try it."
She lifted a spoonful of the gray mush up to her lips and tasted it. It was still bland, but the texture made it easy to eat with her injuries, so she didn't say anything. Even though it was my decision to look for Syaoran's feathers, everyone here is already treating me like I'm some child to be taken care of. She sat down on the couch, since it was the only place to rest in the small house, and ate. A few minutes later, Fai came to sit beside her, bearing a bowl of the same thing.
"Feeling up to a bit of target practice?" he asked.
Sakura's eyes flitted to her bow, leaning against the edge of the couch. "Sure."
They ate quickly. Fai commented on the thin flower vases adorning the countertops. Sakura agreed that they were pretty, without much enthusiasm.
When they were done, they went outside for target practice. Sakura stretched out her stiff arms, wincing as the torn muscles tightened. When her body felt more limber, she picked up her bow.
"Let's shoot for that tree," Fai decided, pointing to the tree she'd hit last night trying to fend off their attackers. Though she'd missed her target, the arrow had pierced the center of the tree, leaving her a decent bull's-eye to aim for.
They worked for about an hour. Fai supervised, giving her little snippets of advice every few minutes. Sakura did her best to follow his commands, but struggled to stay focused as the anxiety tied her stomach in knots.
I didn't get time to check on Syaoran last night. I should have. The feather knocked him unconscious as soon as he absorbed it. He could've had any number of unchecked injuries he hadn't gotten a chance to tell us about yet. Her next arrow flew wide, hitting a tree far to the left of the one she was aiming at.
"That's okay," Fai assured her. "You're still getting used to the bow."
"Sure." She picked the last arrow out of her quiver and prepared to fire. As she did so, images of last night's battle flashed through her mind. That moment where her vision had gone strange, distorting her perception of distance. If Kurogane-san hadn't been there to help, I could've been killed. Or Syaoran could have, or Yukito-san. Even if I was a decent shot, I'm still too weak to fire when I should.
She aligned her bow where she thought it should go, adjusting from her last awful shot. Her fingers traced the bowstring, still only half-drawn, then released the arrow. It flew a foot to the right of the mark, scraping the bark from the edge of the tree before falling to the ground.
"You're getting better," Fai said, smiling at her. Dappled sunlight danced across his pale face. Fair skin was considered a mark of prestige in Clow, where only the rich could afford to stay out of the desert sun, but even within the castle walls, she had never seen anyone so pale. There are so many things I don't know. Maybe fair skin is normal in his country.
"I'm going to go pick up my arrows," she said, leaning the bow against the paper walls of the house and going over to the target. Twenty arrows stuck out of various places: the ground, other trees, even one about three feet below her intended target, sticking out of an exposed root. She took them all out and examined each for damage. She didn't know what it would take to ruin these arrows, but she suspected a bad shot could do it. And I'm certainly not a good marksman. "Can we be done for a while?" she asked, knowing one hour was not nearly enough practice to improve herself, but reluctant to continue when she was so distracted. "I want to check on Syaoran."
A pained smile crossed the wizard's face. "Sure. Kuro-pon is probably awake by now, anyway."
Judging from the lack of response, the ninja either didn't hear or was still asleep. Fai skipped into the house, leaving the door open for her. She slung the quarrel over her shoulder and went inside.
"Good morning, Hime-sama," a timid voice greeted her. Her head shot up so fast that another jolt of pain ran up her jaw.
"Syaoran, you're awake!"
A startled look flitted across his face, but before she could apologize for her volume, a new voice cut in. "What the hell are you brats making so much noise for?"
"Sorry," they both said at once. Sakura turned toward Syaoran, startled. Back in Clow, they'd been close enough to finish each other's sentences, but now it seemed like a miracle that they could still respond the same way to some things. Even if he doesn't remember most of his life, he's still Syaoran. She smiled to herself, not even wincing when the movement pulled at her bruised cheek.
Syaoran looked at her for several seconds, then mirrored her expression.
A blush crept into her cheeks, and she almost lost it right then. The Syaoran she'd known might be gone, but perhaps she could piece him together again. "Did you remember anything interesting?"
His eyes flickered up as he tried to recall whatever memories the feather had returned to him. "I remembered my father, Fujitaka-san, and the house. And also . . ." He hesitated, but her look of hope prompted him to continue. "A tree."
"A tree?"
"A tree shedding pale pink petals over the castle gardens, in Clow."
She stiffened. "A sakura tree."
"Yes. There was someone there with me, but when I turned to look at them, they weren't there. I mean, they were, but I couldn't see them or hear them. I just knew someone was there."
Syaoran was only ever allowed in the castle gardens when I was with him, Sakura thought, fighting to hold onto her smile. It curdled on her face, and she turned away.
The room had gone quiet after Syaoran's explanation. She heard Fai shift his weight, and Kurogane's soft sigh.
So that's it then. Yuuko-san said our relationship would never be the same. This is how she decided to do it. "I'm sure it will come to you eventually."
Syaoran frowned, and she regretted being unable to comfort him. How terrifying must it be to remember nothing? How strange the world must seem to him. Compared to that, what I have to face is nothing.
He spoke, his voice almost normal for having such little grasp of what was going on. "Thank you. I wouldn't be able to remember anything at all if it wasn't for all of you." He bowed to the entire room, his eyes touching on the three of them in turn. "I'll try not to be a burden to you."
Suddenly, it was too much—the price she'd paid, the memories he'd never regain, his twisted perception that he was somehow a burden after taking down an enemy by himself, the way he'd called her Hime-sama instead of Sakura. Her teeth buried themselves into her lip, and she half-ran back to the bathroom, pausing only to mumble an excuse.
She'd just closed the door when the tears overflowed. Her hands flew up to her face to smother the sobs building at the back of her throat. Her knees buckled, letting her numb body slide down to the floor. There, she curled up and, for the first time since Ookami-kuni, let herself break down.
I was so stupid, thinking I could travel dimensions at any lesser price, she thought, nails digging into her scalp. Just because I've been pampered all my life, I expected this to be convenient. I'm stupid and useless and I have no place being here.
Another sob overtook her, and for a time, it took all her concentration to muffle the cries in the folds of her dress. After a while, she wondered why no one had come to check on her. Usually, Yukito or her brother or one of the servants would come to check on her after a few minutes. Not anymore, she thought bitterly. I may be a princess in Clow, but here, I'm just an ordinary girl. And a useless one at that.
Hot tears ran down her face. Her lungs rattled with every sob.
I'm not made for this, she thought. I'm sorry Syaoran, but I'm just not made for this. I don't know how to help you when I can't even help myself. She lifted a hand to her bruise and pressed down on the swollen flesh until it throbbed under her fingertips. Then she wiped the tears out of her eyes and got to her feet. Her legs were stiff from being crumpled up.
No. That's wrong. That's selfish. No matter how much pain it puts me in, this journey is the only thing that can save Syaoran's life. Her fingers coiled around her bow. I have to be stronger than this.
Sakura took a deep breath, tucked the tear-soaked strands of hair behind her ear, and left the bathroom.
The others had gathered in the living room. Syaoran glanced up as she entered, looking worried. She smiled, trying to be positive despite the lingering pain in her heart. He was getting some emotion back. That should make her happy.
Fai looked up at her. His expression seemed to be asking if she was okay. She smiled wider, trying to show him that everything was. His sad smile radiated sympathy.
"Ready to go?" Kurogane asked. It surprised her that he actually looked a bit subdued, too. Does he pity me? she wondered, doubting the possibility. Then again, she'd only known these people a few days, and even if the ninja had admitted to killing people, that was no reason to assume he was a heartless monster. After all, that's what I'm learning to do now, with this bow.
"I'm ready to go." She turned to Yukito and Touya, who were waiting on the edge of the room, wary expressions on their faces. "Thank you for your hospitality. Oh, and if you happen to visit the spa anytime soon, pass on our gratitude to Mai-san."
Yukito's eyes widened behind his broken spectacles. "I will!" he called, as Mokona rose from Fai's shoulder and stretched her wings. "And thank you!"
Sakura nodded in acknowledgment of his thanks as black globs of magic spilled out from the air around them. She watched their faces shift from gratitude to shock.
Before the two could say anything, Sakura landed in a different dimension.