This chapter is beta'd by coleen561. Coleen, your advice and editing are so very much appreciated. I couldn't have written this chapter without your insight and keen eye for detail. Thank you so much!

Warning: this chapter is more serious in nature than previous entries. Fear not constant readers, happier days will soon follow! Thank you all for your kind words and unfailing support. Your reviews make me smile and seem to work wonders for my muse. Love you all! J

Chapter 14

Tears for Lottie

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.

Edgar Allen Poe

BPOV

I dream I am running in the woods again. But this time I am not running away and I am not running alone. In my dream I am running so fast that I feel as though I am flying. I feel the sharp sting of the salt brined air in my eyes and in my nose. I breathe it in deeply and with gusty pleasure. I feel so light and carefree. I feel euphoric. I reach out and grasp an outstretched hand, expecting to feel a cool marble touch. But as our hands make contact, I flinch; the touch is warm and the grasp is firm yet surprisingly gentle. I gaze up into a pair of bright green eyes that are full of soft light. I shake my head for a moment expecting to see Edward's impossibly beautiful face, but when our eyes meet and lock, I see a boyish grin, a devilish dimple, and a mischievous wink. Teddy….

I wake up gasping and crying for Edward.

EPOV

I am downstairs in the kitchen preparing an omelet for Bella's surprise breakfast in bed, when I hear her cry out for me. My heart nearly jump starts itself as I literally drop the pan with a clunk on the stove and take off running like a madman up the stairs. I honestly don't think my feet made contact with a single step. I run into the bedroom and find her half sitting up in bed, clawing at the bed sheets and looking confused and dazed. I walk over to the bed quickly and climb in, gathering my sweet girl in my arms. She is shaking and breathing as though she were slightly winded. I stroke her hair and rock her gently for a moment against my chest. I smooth her hair off her face and she relaxes in my arms.

"What's wrong, Love? Did you have a bad dream?" I ask in what I hope is a soothing tone.

"No. I mean…yes…it was a dream. But no…it wasn't a bad dream. It was…" her voice trails off. I notice that her eyes are downcast so I put my finger under her chin and raise her face so our eyes will meet. There is a look in them that I don't quite recognize; one that leaves me frankly puzzled.

"Bella, whatever it is I think you should tell me about it. You'll feel better if you do."

"It…it was nothing really. I just dreamt that I was in the woods… running."

I look at her trying to gauge if she is telling me the truth and I realize that there is more to this dream than she wants to let on.

"Sweetheart, please… I know by your face that there's more. Were you alone in the woods? Is that what this was about?" I dread her answer because if this nightmare is about me abandoning her in the woods then I truly am to blame. I hug her closer to me and kiss her temple and forehead.

"No…I wasn't alone. It was a happy dream. I was running so fast…it felt like I was flying! I don't think I ever felt so happy and carefree in my life. I reached out expecting your hand, but then I realized that the hand I grasped wasn't yours. I got scared, and then I woke up."

"Whose hand was it, Love?"

Bella shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. "I really don't remember," she mumbles. I can tell that she is lying.

"Bella…"

She gives me a watery smile and a slight shrug and says, "It was… Teddy."

Huh?

I freeze for a moment and gulp. Teddy…does she…can she…mean…me? Our conversation from last night comes back to me in a haunting refrain.

"Bella…I don't think I quite understand. When you say Teddy…do you mean me?" I ask cautiously. I am a little afraid of her answer, though I have no earthly idea why.

"No…I mean…yes. I'm not sure…I guess I mean both of you, Edward."

"I'm confused, love." I ease myself up and sit back so I can look into her sad brown eyes. Bella dreamt of me as a human. A human boy. The boy I once was and can never be again. I feel my stomach muscles clench as I realize I am facing my biggest fear.

Teddy…how I wish I could be that boy for her. If I was still Teddy then our lives would be so much happier. I could date her like a normal teenage boy. We could share pizza together and sneak beers from her unsuspecting father's stash. We could go away to college together and get married and have babies. We could…

"Edward, look at me," she says as she tips my chin up so our eyes can meet. I gaze into her eyes then I look down at my hands briefly. But Bella will have none of that. No. Without saying a word she gathers me in her arms and kisses my head and murmurs in my ear that she loves me. I sigh into her embrace.

"Edward…the reason I woke up crying for you, was because I wanted to be with you. My Edward…not Teddy. I don't even know who Teddy is…" She looks into my eyes and kisses me again on the forehead. I wrap my arms around her and return her kiss, this time on her temple, and decide that the time has come for Bella to know the real me. No, that's not quite right. Not the real me. The human me. Bella needs to know about Teddy Masen, and if I am to be honest, I need to rediscover him myself. I take out the letter from Carlisle and hand it to her. She accepts it readily with an upraised brow. I lean over and give her lips a quick kiss.

"Bella, I am going to go back downstairs and finish getting your breakfast together. Why don't you take this time for a human moment and then maybe you can read my letter. It's from Carlisle. I meant to have you read it last night, but we…ahem…got a bit…distracted." The memory of our lusty lovemaking upon my return from Carlisle's office comes flooding into my mind and I find myself hardening at the thought. I quickly stand up and proceed to the door preparing to make my exit when I hear her voice beckoning me.

"Uh, uh…not so fast vamp-man! Just where do you think you're going? Get back over here and kiss me properly."

I chuckle (vamp-man?) and return to the side of the bed and press my mouth hard against hers. Her hands reach up and braid themselves into my hair. We both let out a long groan. My erection is beginning to throb painfully. I can already see where this is leading… Just as I decide to give in to my baser instincts (omelet be damned) Bella pushes herself away from me and jumps out of the bed.

"Sorry, Edward, but you're right. It is time for a human moment. Plus…I'm starving!" she giggles, as she heads for the bathroom. I shake my head and grimace…poor Mr. Masen…he'll have to call on the lovely Miss Swan later. I chortle at my ridiculous self and head back downstairs to finish her breakfast.

BPOV

I enter the bathroom and use the facilities and decide to take a quick shower. But before I do I take a moment to look at my face in the mirror. Huh… I still look the same. I know it's only been 24 hours since Alice's visit, but now everything has changed…

I can't believe that I am not a virgin anymore! (Though the slight soreness I am feeling between my legs is confirmation of that fact.)

Oh my God!What an unbelievable night. So beautiful…so magical! And then later…after my big cry baby attack and the emo talk afterwards, we had taken the best bath EVER! I know it would probably seem absurd and ridiculous to most people, but that bath was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life. Not because it was romantic, but because it was revealing. For the first time in our relationship, Edward and I were silly together. We splashed and played in the tub. He let me wash his hair. And I made him giggle! I know he was probably taken aback by the whole Mr. Masen thing…but I think he secretly LOVED that I named his tally whacker!

I think the best part about it though, was that it felt intimate. And not in a sexual way either. No, it felt…comfortable. I felt for the first time that we were truly a couple. He felt like…my husband. My husband! I wrap my arms around myself and let out a little squeal and do a happy dance. I think…I hope…that Edward will be my husband someday. I don't even care if we can't have children together or how difficult it will be for my friends and parents. I want this to happen. I want it…so much.

I leave the bathroom and quickly change into a pair of yoga pants. I briefly think about putting the blue bra back on, but decide that it needs to be washed, so I grab the black bra that Edward threw in my overnight bag. I don't recognize it at first, but then I remember that it was one of the two bras that Alice and Rosalie brought over yesterday morning. I check it out and notice that it too is made of lace and has those push up pads in it. Humph! Guess they think I need all the help I can get. (Which is probably true, but I didn't hear Edward complaining about my lack of boobs last night).

Ummm….last night! Gah! The second time we did it was even hotter than the first. I blush at the memory. Seeing Edward's face when he came apart in my arms was so erotic. He's just so damn sexy! How on earth are we ever going to keep our hands off of each other now that we've had a little taste? Mmmm…I want MORE!

I laugh quietly at my horny self a bit, and throw on my FHS hoodie. I dry my hair with a towel, and sit on the couch to brush it out. I think about my dream this morning and I sigh remembering Edward's face when I told him that Teddy was running in the forest with me. He looked so hurt. I do not EVER want Edward to think for a single moment that I would replace him with anyone…not even if I had the chance to have him as a human boy. I didn't fall in love with a human Edward…I fell in love with my vampire. My hot, sweet, sexy vampire. My Edward. And I wouldn't change anything about him. No…not a single strand of hair on his beautiful bronze head!

My eyes catch on the letter that Edward has left at the foot of his bed and I reach over and pluck it up then settle back on the cushion and begin to read.

EPOV

I throw out the original omelet and begin a new one instead. I have never made an omelet before, but I have watched the Food Network a few times and I've seen omelets prepared there. Even though I don't eat, I enjoy watching the process of preparing food and the artistic presentation that some chefs create for their dishes.

Bah! I am turning into such a girl. Emmett would have a fit if he heard my inner monologue and would no doubt kick my ass. God, I miss my brother!

I finish up the omelet which is filled with the left over ham and cheese, transfer it to a blue plate, and set it on a breakfast tray. I warm the rolls in the microwave and slather them with butter (Bella could use a few more pounds on her small frame). Though in all honesty, I was delightfully shocked to discover the fullness of her breasts. I never knew that those delicious white and rosy tipped mounds were hiding underneath those baggy plaid shirts and hoodies she always favors, that is for sure! Had I known I believe I might have made their acquaintance sooner…

Grinning a little, I pour some sparkling non-alcoholic wine that I have mixed with freshly squeezed orange juice into a champagne flute. This will have to be my version of a mimosa. I add a few sprigs of rosemary to the plate from Esme's little herb garden that is still nestling on her kitchen windowsill, put a napkin and some silverware on the tray and carry it upstairs to Bella.

I enter our bedroom and see Bella perched comfortably on the couch. She has taken a shower and is all pink and cozy looking. I notice that she has taken the time to make our bed and so I set the tray down near its foot and motion for her to come eat.

"Edward…I read the letter from Carlisle. It was so beautiful! He really loves you Edward," she says to me. Her voice sounds so warm and loving.

"But, Edward…what does he mean about knowing you when you were human? I thought you only met after he changed you? And that part in the beginning when he writes about that 'awful night.' I'm confused…" her voice trails off and she looks at me curiously and…tenderly? Yes…she is looking at me tenderly. There is no judgment in her eyes. I sigh. That will come later, I fear.

"Bella, I know you are full of questions and I want to be truthful with you. I want you to know me, Bella. I don't want to keep secrets from you. But you have to know first that my memories of my human life are not clear. Most of the events that happened to me were so long ago, and I have not thought of them in years. And some memories…I have not thought of at all. But I will tell you Bella. I need to tell you. And most importantly…I WANT to tell you. But FIRST…I want you to eat!"

I pluck the napkin off the tray and bow slightly to her as I reveal my culinary masterpiece. Even though the smell of it is mildly repulsive to me, I must admit it does LOOK good.

"Oh my God, Edward…this is unbelievable! YOU made THIS? How did you learn to cook?"

"Food Network" I grin, shrugging my shoulders.

"Mmmm… sooooo ….GOOD!" The sound of her groans and moans over her little feast are really quite distracting and are sounding more sensual than I care to admit. I decide to gather up the photo albums, some scrapbooks, my high school annual, and a few of my old journals to prepare and assist me as I explain my childhood and teenage years to Bella. This takes me a few minutes and I notice her wiping her mouth and then dropping the napkin back on the tray. She turns and gives me an expectant look.

It is time.

BPOV

Edward motions for me to join him on the couch. I go over to one end, sit down, and get comfy while he places a large green velvet book between us as he sits down by my side. I notice that he has other books and a few assorted letters and albums which he sets down on the floor in front of us. He seems nervous and I have to wonder if this is a good idea.

"Edward," I say as I take his long slender hand in mine. "You really don't have to do this, you know. I've told you before and I'll say it again. I love you, Edward. I don't care about your past, or the fact that you're a vampire. None of that matters to me. You are who you are…and I love you now…and I will always love you." I squeeze his hands to reassure him and he leans forward and gives me a soft kiss.

"Oh, Love…I know you love me, as I do you. And Bella, your beautiful sentiments are a mere echo of my own." I let out a small sigh.

"But Bella…I want you to know about me…and to be honest…upon reading Carlisle's letter last evening, I need to do this for myself as well."

Edward opens the green velvet book that is secured by a heavy burnished gold snap. He carefully pulls out a portrait of a young boy dressed in a sailor suit. He is seated on a wicker rocking chair and is wearing thick stockings and high topped shoes that look like they have a billion buttons going up the sides. The boy's hair is a complete mess of curls and cowlicks. His face is positively beautiful. His cheeks are round and appear flushed, and though he is not smiling, he has what appear to be two little dimples on either side of his mouth. He is holding a stuffed bear in his little hands.

"Edward," I ask gently, "Is that you?"

"Yes, that's me with my stuffed bear, Mr. Biggs. This was taken on my fifth birthday."

"Mr. Biggs?" I laugh. "How do you remember his name? I thought you couldn't remember your childhood well."

Edward laughs a little and turns the portrait over. I read the writing on the back.

Edward Anthony Masen

June 20th 1906

With his beloved Mr. Biggs

"Edward…you were so adorable! Look at how cute you were with your little bear. Do you remember Mr. Biggs?"

Edward gives a little sigh and closes his eyes briefly. When he re-opens them they look…haunted.

"Yes…I remember Mr. Biggs. Too well…" He sighs and looks at me sadly. I lean forward and give him a little reassuring hug. He gives me a small smile.

I hand him back his portrait and he hands me another one. This time it is a wedding picture of a beautiful woman and a very handsome, yet rather austere looking man. The woman's hair is swept up in an elaborate style from a different era and the man has a thick handlebar moustache and very dark eyes. But even though they are not smiling, they do not appear to be unhappy. The woman looks like she wants to smile. She looks familiar. She looks a lot like Edward.

"Oh, Edward!" I gasp. "Are these your parents?"

"Yes…that is my mother, Elizabeth, and my father, Edward Senior. This is their wedding portrait…obviously." He grins at his rhetoric.

"Your Mum was so pretty, Edward."

"Yes, she was." He lets out a sigh and I nudge him a little on his shoulder. I know instinctively that this conversation is going to get heavy and I want to keep it light as long as possible.

I see another portrait in the book and I take it out carefully. I look at Edward to see if it's okay for me to do this and he gives me a little nod.

It is a picture of a little girl all dressed up in what appears to be her Sunday best. She has long hair dressed in loose curls and a large white bow on top of her sweet head. She is without a doubt the prettiest child I have ever seen. Her cheeks are round and glowing with health and her eyes are dark. I wonder briefly if they are hazel or brown, like mine. Even though she has a serious expression on her face, I see the dimples that appear to be flickering on either side of her mouth. She looks achingly familiar…I gasp…she looks exactly like…Edward!

"Edward," I ask as gently as possible. "Who's this?"

I see his Adams apple bob a few times and he swallows heavily. He takes the picture from my hands and traces the little girl's face tenderly with his finger. He hands the picture back to me and sighs.

"Charlotte."

"Charlotte?" I ask raising my eyebrow. "Who was she?"

Edward turns the photo over gently and hands it back to me. There is a small lock of hair that is secured to the back. The color of it is familiar, but not surprising. It is a lighter version of Edward's bronze. I touch it gently. I read the inscription that is written below the curl.

Charlotte Elizabeth Masen

April 24th 1915

Age 4

Our little Lottie

"This was my sister," he whispers. "We called her Lottie."

"Your sister!" I gasp. "I thought you were an only child."

Edward puts the photo back in the album and looks at me sadly.

"I was an only child, Bella. And then…I wasn't."

He lets out a long painful sigh.

"And then I was…"

I look at Edward and watch the sorrow take over, and then consume his beautiful face. It takes me a moment to process what he is saying to me. And then it hits me as if I had been struck by a boulder. I feel a crushing weight in my chest and my eyes begin to fill with tears, but I chase them away immediately. He needs to tell me his story, not comfort me. This is not about me; it is about him. So I swallow my tears and take his hands and gather them into my own.

"What happened, Edward?" I asked as quietly and gently as I can muster. "Can you tell me?"

He nods briefly and swallows a few times and then he begins.

EPOV

I sit for a moment trying to gather my wits and rein in my emotions so I can continue my story, but it is harder than I imagined. My memory of Lottie and the events that led to her death are ones that I have not thought about in many years. Truthfully, I don't believe I have given them any thought at all since my transformation back in 1918. I chose instead to close those memories and seal them away, hidden behind my journals and albums and pictures from my previous life, knowing that they existed, but never taking them out. Why I did this was not obvious to me at the time, but as I look into Bella's sweet and understanding face, I know the time has come to unlock the memories, regardless of what it might cost me.

Bella's eyes are so expressive. I can see plainly that she wants to shed tears for a little girl she never knew, and sadly would never know. But I can also see her stave her tears in an effort to keep me grounded so I may continue with my story, and the knowledge of this makes me fall in love with her a little bit more.

"Bella, I was an only child for ten years. My mother wanted a large family, but was never able to have another child after I was born. She had been raised as a Catholic, and though she no longer practiced, it was a given that she would have a houseful of children to care for. She did suffer a few miscarriages in my early childhood and that was extraordinarily difficult on us all. My father was so in love with her you see, and it tore at him that she suffered these tragic losses. After a few years of trying, they more or less gave up hopes that there would ever be more children and decided, I suppose, that I would have to be enough." I give her a small wry smile at this and she squeezes my hands reassuringly.

"So, what happened then? Did your mother get treatment for infertility?" Bella asked curiously.

"No, back in those days there really wasn't any kind of treatments for that sort of thing. The only advice doctors gave was to either accept the situation or perhaps to take a holiday. The idea being that a vacation would give a couple an opportunity to take their minds off of their situation and allow them to relax and enjoy one another. And that's exactly what my parents did. They went to the coast of Maine in July for a month and when they returned my mother was with child. Charlotte was born the following April."

"That must have been weird for you, Edward. Were you upset when she was born?"

"No, surprisingly I wasn't. In fact I was quite the opposite. I was lonely growing up sometimes, and frankly I was a little jealous of my school chums who all had heaps of brothers and sisters to play with. Here we lived in this huge monstrosity of a house and I had no one to run amok with. I longed for a brother for many years. I had no exposure to girls. I attended Morgan Park Academy as a day student, which at the time was only for young men, so girls never even entered my mind."

"Were you very disappointed that you didn't have a brother then?"

"No, not at all, Love. You see, Lottie was very special to me. Actually I am the one who helped deliver her when she was born."

"What! YOU had to deliver a baby, Edward? Oh my God, you were only a child yourself. What happened?" Bella looks at me in disbelief. I stifle back a chuckle, because it had been a bizarre experience for a young boy, even for the time.

"I know, Love…it was strange, and I assure you, it was not at all planned." I chuckle ruefully at the memory. What a day that had been!

"My mother gave birth very unexpectedly late one afternoon. I had just returned home from school and asked her if we might play a game of Jacks. She agreed, though she told me that she hadn't been feeling well that afternoon and jokingly asked me to take it easy on her. We played several rounds and were having a wonderful time, when she suddenly doubled over and collapsed on the floor in front of me. I was horrified! I didn't have any earthly idea what to do. I remember running for our housekeeper, Mrs. Tuttle, but she had left earlier to run some errands and had not yet returned. I was alone with my mother. I got up ready to fetch a doctor, but it was too late. My mother yelled out for me to bring her some towels and her sewing basket. I did as I was told even though I had no idea why she wanted to sew at a time like this. When I returned with the items that she requested, the baby was already making her entry into the world. I managed to catch her just as she was born, and with my mother's help, I cut her umbilical cord with the sewing shears."

"Oh, Edward weren't you scared?" Bella asks incredulously.

"Scared? I was petrified!" I chuckle. "But I really didn't have time to think about it too much because it all happened so fast.

"At any rate, I was the first person this tiny little girl looked upon, and when she opened her eyes for the first time and looked at me…I was lost. She was the most beautiful and precious thing I had ever seen."

"Oh my God, Edward…that is so sweet! She must have really loved you…" her voice trails off. I see the sadness return to her eyes just then when she realizes that Lottie did not dwell in my life for long.

"Yes, it was a mutual love at first sight. In fact my mother used to tease me that as badly as she had wanted another child, she rarely had the chance to see that child, let alone raise it. I suppose I did rob her of Lottie a bit. But I couldn't help myself. She was so sweet. I really loved being a big brother and when I was home I was her constant companion. Well, me and Mr. Biggs."

"Mr. Biggs?" Bella asks, "Wasn't he your bear?"

"Yes, but as soon as Lottie got old enough she claimed him as her own. I could never deny her anything especially when she would look at me with her big brown eyes and say please. So even though I liked to tease her and chase her about with Mr. Biggs, I gave him to her eventually. She carried him with her always and slept with him every night. She even bathed with him, and that caused him to become a frightful, smelly mess at times. My mother did her best to air him out but she wouldn't allow anyone to go near him. We had to resort to sneaking him out of her arms while she slept. It was quite a challenge…" I pause then for a moment because Mr. Biggs played such a key role in the tragedy that followed. I swallow convulsively and pinch my nose hard. I am determined to tell Bella the rest of the story, no matter how difficult it is for me. Bella notices my distress and hugs me close to her heart and kisses me so lovingly on my forehead, that I am almost overcome. But I need to share that awful night, the night we lost our Lottie; the night that brought Carlisle into my life. So I gently remove myself from her embrace and lean back against the sofa cushions and tell her the rest of the story.

"When Lottie was four years old, she was a wild little thing. She was always tearing about the house with me chasing after her and always climbing on furniture, counter tops and tables…even my piano. She loved to jump. My mother blamed it on me, because apparently I was much the same at her age. I believe the doctors today would have called us hyperactive. But where I preferred to run, Lottie preferred to jump. And I was always there to catch her! 'Catch me Teddy' she'd call out to me, and I'd be there, every time, waiting for her with my outstretched arms. As soon as I'd catch her we'd double over in fits of laughter. She was so much fun!

"She was very mature for her age, which I suppose was mostly my own fault as I was ten years older and she had no other companions. She was rather precocious, but not obnoxiously so. She loved for me to play the piano and she often sat next to me on my bench as I banged away on the keys. I even made up little songs and ditties for her and we spent many a happy hour in the conservatory." I sigh then remembering the sweetness and innocence of a different era. I cannot imagine a fourteen year old boy whiling away the hours with a four year old in tow. But it was a vastly different time and I suppose even then, I was no ordinary boy.

"Didn't you have other friends, Edward?" Bella asks as if reading my thoughts.

I smile at her question. "Yes, actually I had loads of friends. I think you would probably be shocked to know that I wasn't always a solitary creature, Bella. In fact, I suppose as a human, I was considered to be quite popular. I liked to joke and tease and I played every sport that was offered. By the time I was fourteen I was finally attending a school that was Co-Ed and I rather enjoyed chasing the girls round the schoolyard," I wink.

"That doesn't sound like the Edward I know," Bella teased slightly.

"No…that wasn't Edward Cullen," I reply. "That was Teddy Masen. But I'll tell you all about him, at least what I can recall, in a bit."

"Edward, I know this is hard for you," Bella says gently giving me another strong hug. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it anymore," she offers generously.

"No, that's okay, sweetheart," I hug her back. "I really want to tell you. It's just hard for me to find the words."

I take out the picture of Lottie again and study her face. It was, next to Bella, the most expressive and lovely face I have ever seen. Looking at it now I am struck by the resemblance between Lottie's eyes and Bella's. Though they were a different shape, they were both heavily fringed, and the color was a rich chocolate brown. Till this moment I had never noticed the similarity before.

"It was a cold, windy night in late April, and Lottie had just celebrated her fourth birthday. My parents were at a party that was being thrown in my father's honor. He was a rather prominent attorney and he had just won a very hefty settlement for a large business corporation. Anyway, they had offered to hire a sitter for Lottie, but I wouldn't hear of it. We spent the night playing Chutes and Ladders and even had a tea party for Mr. Biggs, who she claimed was also a lawyer who had just won a big case. After we cleaned up I gave her a bath and settled her down for the night.

"As a joke I took Mr. Biggs from her arms after she had fallen asleep and hid him on top of the grandfather clock that was upstairs. The clock was on the landing at the top the staircase, which curved sharply and had an elaborate balustrade. I went back down stairs and sat at the piano and lost myself for a few hours trying to work out a lullaby that I had composed for Lottie. In the midst of my efforts I heard a loud noise upstairs. I ran to the foot of our staircase and I saw Lottie struggling to get Mr. Biggs from the top of the grandfather clock. She had managed to climb on to the table next to it and was just pulling him down from the clock when I saw her. Before I could yell to her to wait for me, she grabbed the bear and tossed it down from the top of the staircase calling out to me to catch Mr. Biggs. I caught him in my arms, just as she yelled out 'Now catch ME Teddy!'

"I looked up and she had stepped from the table to the banister along the hallway and was holding on to the newel post. Lottie threw herself off the top of the banister towards me. I still had Mr. Biggs in my arms, Bella, and I was at the bottom of the stairs."

Suddenly, my breathing begins to hitch and a crack that began to form nearly a hundred years ago suddenly splinters wide open. My throat constricts, my vision begins to blur and a flood of something foreign…something I have not felt in nearly a century, begins to pour out of my eyes. I ache from the depths of my soul. I look at Bella's luminous brown eyes that remind me so much of my sister's, and I manage to choke out the words.

"I never caught her at all…"

*AFITR*

Authors Note: This was a hard chapter to write as it deals with the death of a child. For those of you who experienced this type of loss I offer you my deepest sympathy. I lost my only brother when he was 25 and I was 15. There was also a 10 year difference between us and I found myself reflecting on my brother, and the special relationship he and I shared as I wrote about Edward and Lottie. I dedicate this chapter to Chip…eternally young and greatly missed…

On another note: Yes, Edward is crying real tears for Lottie and NOT venom. This is OOC but is necessary to the plot and future chapters. I hope you will forgive my use of artistic license.

Next chapter will explain about the relationship Edward shared with Carlisle and will hopefully shed more insight into his emotional makeup. Just remember…happy days and more sexy times are on the horizon!

Thank you to all my readers for your comments and continuing support. Love ya'll!