Negan couldn't get what happened off his mind. He was so close to feeling her sweet insides that it made him grit his teeth. He might be a dick, but he wasn't about to take advantage of her while she was intoxicated. After all, where's the satisfaction in that? He wanted her to come to him, not because her mind was altered, but because she wanted him. Like a fisherman who lives for the thrill of the bite. They may be able to buy the fish in the supermarket, but the fight of catching your own- the exhilarating moment of you versus them- is what makes it worth the wait. He knows she's biting his line, he just has to wait for the perfect moment to reel her in.
He was outside the walls, sat on a stump. The moans of chained up roamers filled his mind, somehow putting him at ease. He had been up for hours, just thinking and looking off through the wooded area as the sky changed from dark to light. He didn't get many moments to himself. People looked up to him. Needed him.
Not that he particularly enjoyed the feeling anyway. Being alone meant he would have peace and quiet. Peace and quiet meant his mind could run freely to anywhere it pleased, which usually, he didn't like.
He sighed to himself and stood up. He returned to his room, fully expecting to get an earful of Courtney. Instead, she remained silent, sleeping like a brick with the other girls. He hovered over to look at her face, smirking at the damage. He liked a girl that could take care of herself, that's for sure.
She stirred, rolling over on her back. He stayed still, not wanting to wake her because that would mean the sudden death of his sanity. Whatever was left of it, anyway.
Katherine opened her eyes, moaning as she lifted her torso. She felt like she had 500 pounds weighing her down, and like she's been shot in the shoulder all over again. She rubbed her eyes and held her head.
"I leave you alone for a little bit and you get in trouble. Here, drink," Jen startled her as she walked over and handed her a glass of water. "You look like a hot mess."
"That's what happens when you're a weak drinker," she sighed. Her insides felt like sludge.
"Drinker?" she laughed, "enlighten me, please."
Her head shot up as soon as she remembered Negan on top of her, which didn't take long as she shuffled through whatever she could remember from last night. God, she spilled her guts to him like a whinny little bitch.
"You look like you've seen a ghost, what's wrong?" Jen questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"U-uh, nothing," she shook her head, trying to remember the rest of the night.
"Did we-?" she whispered to herself. She could recall kissing him and ending up on the couch, but everything went blank from there.
"Maybe you should get some more sleep," Jen suggested.
"No, no. I'll be back," Katherine rushed out of the door. She ran to Negan's room, knocking frantically like her life depended on it.
"Katherine? What are you- are you all right?" Sherry opened, finding it bizarre that Katherine would be here.
"Is Negan around?" she pointed inside, growing more impatient by the second.
"No, he left."
"Left? Like, he's outside?"
"No, he's going to pick up supplies. He's usually out for a few days at a time," Sherry explained.
"Oh." Katherine's mind settled and her chest tingled. She no longer wondered what happened the night before, but why he didn't let her know he was going to be gone. "Thanks."
"Everything good?" Sherry asked, growing concerned. Katherine looked at the floor, nodding her head slightly.
"I know I'm not the ideal option, but if you need someone...anything..I'm here."
The gesture touched Katherine. She wanted to just blurt out everything that happened, but it was all nonsense. Stuff she needed to figure out herself.
"Thank you," she managed a smile, putting a quick hand to Sherry's arm. "That means more than you know, I just- I need to be alone for a bit."
"It's tough here, I know. But so are you. You'll get over whatever it is," Sherry gave her a smile. Katherine couldn't help but reciprocate it. "Thanks, Sherry."
She walked outside, hoping to get privacy. She found herself in that spot, hidden from the rest of the place. Back on that bench like she was yesterday, only this time Negan wouldn't show up. In a way it made her sad, but also annoyed. Did we..have sex? she asked herself.
She was fully clothed when she woke up, but also didn't feel like anything had happened. So why did her memory fail her at the worst time? More importantly, why did she even care if Negan left? He's already proven many times that he didn't care about anyone other than himself. The man has a bunch of women he considers his wives. It's all for pleasure and power. How does one man even overtake the minds of the majority?
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she covered her face with her hands, groaning to herself.
"You should have just left a long time ago," she whispered to herself.
Negan swung Lucille into rotten brains until he was out of breath. He was agitated about something and it was obvious to everyone around him.
"What's gotten into you, man?" one of his men asked, uncertain about the stop they've just made.
"The fuck does it matter? Ever been pissed the fuck off? And, don't you and Dwight have shit to be doing?" he wiped the sweat from his forehead, turning his attention back to the corpse he brutally smashed to mush.
Even though he knew deep down what was making him feel this way, he still questioned it. It was unnatural. Uncomfortable, almost. He was in just as much denial as Katherine was.
He snarled, swinging Lucille once more over the pile. Blood splattered everywhere, like a firework of guts went off. "Let's just go," he walked calmly to the truck, Lucille over shoulder, like nothing happened.