Disclaimer: I am not Rick Riordan or George Lucas.

Enter Luke and Lowbacca, at the Jedi Praxeum.

Luke and Lowbacca pass a flock of hawk-bats in the trees as they enter the Podrace track.

Enter Qordis, the Corellians, the Melodies, and a few Jedi, among the spectators.

Qordis, [into megaphone] Right. You all know the rules. A quarter-mile track. Twice around to win. Two beasts per Podracer. Each team will consist of a driver and a fighter. Weapons are allowed. Dirty tricks are expected. But try not to kill anybody. [smiles evilly] Any killing will result in harsh punishment. No hot chocolate at the campfire for a week. Now ready your racers.

Enter the racers: Ganner Rhysode and Kenth Hamner (a fit Jedi with short brown hair and dark eyes), on a bronzium Podracer pulled by reeks; Saba Sebatyne and Tesar Sebatyne, on an obsidian Podracer pulled by a team of nek battle dogs; Ton Phanan and Tekli, on a Podracer pulled by gualaars; Davin and Chak Fel, on an ancient-looking Podracer pulled by bordoks; Mara Jade and Kyle Katarn (a human male six years Mara's senior with brown hair and eyes), on a Podracer pulled by vornskrs; and Luke Skywalker and Lowbacca, on a Podracer pulled by a pair of equus.

Luke walks over to Mara and explains his dream, which causes her to grow suspicious.

Mara. [narrows her eyes] You're trying to distract me.

Luke. What? No, I'm not.

Mara. [sarcastic] Oh, right. Like Corran would just happen to stumble across the one thing that could save the Praxeum.

Luke. What do you mean?

Mara. [rolls her eyes] Go back to your Podracer, Skywalker.

Luke. I'm not making this up. He's in trouble, Mara.

Mara. [hesitates] Luke. A battle meld is hard to do. I mean, it's more likely you really were dreaming.

Luke. The Prophet. We should consult the Prophet.

Mara opens her mouth, but the conch horn sounds.

Qordis, [over megaphone] Podracers. To your mark.

Mara. We'll talk later, after I win.

Luke, meanwhile noticing the strange behavior of the hawk-bats, walks over to Lowbacca, who is trying to get the struggling equus in line.

First Equus. He's a monster, Lord.

Luke. He's a son of Vader, just like . . . well, me.

Second Equus. No. Monster. Equus-eater. Not trusted.

Luke. I'll give you sugar cubes at the end of the race.

Both Equus. Sugar cubes?

Luke. Very big sugar cubes. And apples. Did I mention apples?

The equus nod their consent.

As the Podracers queue up at the starting line, Luke hands Lowbacca an electropole.

Lowbacca. No hitting equus with the electropole.

Luke. No. Or beings, either, if you can avoid it. We're going to run a clean race. Just keep the distractions away and let me concentrating on driving.

Lowbacca. [beams] We will win.

Luke. [aside] We are so going to lose. But I have to try. I want to show the others . . . well, I'm not sure what, exactly: that Lowie isn't such a bad guy, that I'm not ashamed of being seen with him in public . . . maybe that they didn't hurt me with all their jokes?

Luke glances up nervously at the screeching hawk-bats, but Qordis pays them no mind.

Qordis, [into megaphone] Podracers. Attend your mark.

The race begins.

The Fels' racer rams into Phanan and Tekli's racer, which flips over. Phanan and Tekli are thrown free, but the panicked gualaars flee. As the Fels laugh with glee, the gualaars ram into them, and they, too, flip over.

Luke and Lowbacca are a head of the Sebatynes, but Mara and Kyle are way ahead of them.

Kyle waves at Luke and Lowbacca.

Kyle. See you.

Ganner and Hamner pass Luke and Lowbacca.

Ganner. Sorry, Luke.

Ganner aims his harpoon and tow cables at the Podracer's engines, but Lowbacca swipes them aside with his electropole. The Wookiee shoves Ganner's Podracer and sends them skittering sideways, as Luke and Lowbacca pull ahead.

Luke. Nice work, Lowie.

The hawk-bats take flight.

Lowbacca. Avians.

Luke. What?

Luke sees the hawk-bats.

[aside] No big deal. They're just avians, right?

Luke and Lowbacca advance on Mara and Kyle.

Kyle raises an electropole and aims it at Luke, but he is interrupted as the hawk-bats dive and attack the spectators and Podracers alike.

As the hawk-bats attack Ganner's Podracer, Hamner tries to fight back, but it is to no avail. Ganner's Podracer crashes.

Saba. Tesar.

Tesar throws a camouflage netting over Saba's Podracer.

The Barabels move on.

The hawk-bats claw at any exposed flesh.

Mara drives over to Luke's Podracer.

Mara. Hawk-bats. They'll strip everyone to bones if we don't drive them away.

Luke. [to Lowbacca] Lowie. We're turning around.

Lowbacca. Going the wrong way?

Luke. Always.

Luke and Mara drive their respective Podracers toward the stands.

Mara. [to all] Jedi. To arms.

Luke activates his lightsaber and attacks the hawk-bats, but there are too many of them.

Mara's siblings arm themselves with lightsabers and shields, as the children of Yavin arm themselves with bows and arrows. However, for the latter, it is too dangerous to shoot with so many Jedi in the vicinity.

Luke. There's too many of them. How do you get rid of them?

Mara stabs at a hawk-bat with her vibroblade.

Mara. Anakin used noise, brass bells. He scared them away with the most horrible sound he could . . . [gasps] Luke. Yoda's collection.

Luke. You think it will work?

Mara hands Kyle the reins and leaps into Luke's Podracer.

Mara. To the Temple. It's our only chance.

Luke and Mara drive toward the Jedi Temple.

Passing the finish line, Saba seems to realize for the first time how serious the hawk-bats are.

Saba. [seeing Luke and Mara] You're running? The fight iz here, shenbitz.

Saba activates her lightsaber and charges toward the hawk-bats.

Luke and Mara run into the Jedi Temple and enter Yoda's quarters. They retrieve Yoda's music player and return to the Podracing track.

Qordis, [over megaphone] Everything's under control. Not to worry.

Luke and Mara set the music player on the ground and press play. Music blares out of the player, causing the hawk-bats to go mad, flying away from the Jedi.

Mara. Now. Archers.

The children of Yavin, led by Ton Phanan, fire on the hawk-bats.

The hawk-bats die.

Qordis steps forward.

Qordis, Bravo. We have our first winner.

Qordis awards the laurels to a stunned Saba, then looks over at Luke and Mara and smiles evilly.

And now to punish the troublemakers who interrupted the race. . . .

Exit all.