I must apologize for the last chapter's anxiety-ridden ending. I have received more "hate" mail for that chapter than any other thus far. All I can say is 'I'm evil.' Writing this story has been like playing Sims for me. It has so given me a God complex...lol. Seriously though, I am having a blast.
Thank you to Sam for your review. You have given me a lot to think about as to the direction I want to take this story.
I want to especially thank Calla Mae for reading and reviewing. The highest praise a writer can get is when their favorite author reviews their work favorably. You are, hands down, the best Calla. And thank you for actually not being able to tell which brother is my favorite. That means I'm doing something right. I still say that when I grow up as a writer I want to be you!
Never fear, more updates are forth-coming as chapters 15 and 16 are written already and are in post-production. Remember, reviews are good for the soul!
Fili, Kili and Thorin rode hard, the sun down now and the last light of evening was fading in the distance. They knew that soon the only light they would have to travel by would be the light of the full moon overhead. The princes were desperate to find their One, they hearts cried out for her frantically with an almost physical pull. They had never experienced such terror as they felt now when thoughts of Gili's possible loss hit them.
They searched, having had to slow their ponies now. They called out for Gili, their voices wavering in the darkness. It was all they do, for they truly had no idea if Gili had even come this way. There was just something that was pulling them in this direction that they simply could not ignore.
Thorin was using all his strength to hold together his frazzled nerves. He was king, after all and he'd had a century or better to perfect his royal control. But it was where this child of his heart was concerned that his control faltered and crumbled to dust.
His precious niece, the closet person he would ever have to a daughter, the child he had physically pushed from his sister's womb into this world, the creature for whom he had blown his breath into to give her life, was alone. She was probably injured, in the darkness where he knew she was most afraid. And he was powerless to find her.
What if this was all just a fool's chase? Thorin had no idea of which direction the child had gone. He was second-guessing their decision to come this way. He was second-guessing his decision to allow his nephews to search alone. He should have called upon every dwarf in the kingdom to search for Gili.
He cursed his weakness of pride. He cursed himself for wanting to keep the relationship of his heirs secret. He cursed himself for the greedy jealously that burned through him when he thought of the bond they shared, the very bond he had desired for himself, so long ago, that was denied him. If his gentle Gili perished, he knew that he would fade, as his father Thrain had faded after Frerin's death. He knew that he would never forgive himself if she came to harm.
"GILI…Gili, please, beloved where are you," Fili called out time and again, Kili echoing his words when Fili's own voice failed at last. There was no response save the drone of insects and the chill of the crisp, fall air.
Many times they ventured off the road searching for any sign that Gili may have passed that way. It was slowing their progress considerably but they were afraid that they might overlook some miniscule clue that would lead them to their One.
They found a small copse of bushes and trees off to the left side of the road where it looked as though a pony may have been hobbled and pawed at the ground. There was no sign of a fire having been laid, but a few crumbs of bread were visible in the short grass, having not yet been eaten by late season birds or taken by squirrels. Could it be that Gili had stopped here, rested here?
"She was here," Kili said emphatically. "I know it to be true. Our darling One was here."
"Are you certain, Kili? How can you know this?" Thorin questioned, disbelievingly. He could not understand how Kili could be so certain that Gili had been there when he himself saw nothing to indicate that she had. There was barely enough sign to read to tell him that even a pony had been there, much less his little slip of a niece.
Kili had dismounted along with his brother. He was kneeling on the ground and, much to Thorin's disgust, was crawling around in the grass. He placed his face down upon the very patch of ground whereupon Gili had lain just hours ago. "Can you not feel it, brother? Her scent…can you smell it upon the soil? She was here. She lay here," he whispered, the grief and longing so unmistakably manifest in his voice.
Fili felt it too now, just beneath the surface of his skin, coming from deep within his chest. It was like a string attached to his heart, pulling him to this place and yet pushing him onward. She had been here, lingered here, probably for the night. Of that much he was certain, yet he did not know how he knew that to be true.
"He is right, uncle. Our One was here not so long ago. I can feel it, right here," he clasped his hand over his heart and squeezed as if to crush the ache which was building there.
It was then that Thorin caught the scent. It was very slight almost insignificant and easily missed, but it hit him like a hammer in the gut. It was spicy, loamy and sweet all at the same time and it danced through his nose to linger on his tongue. Thorin licked his lips, savoring the taste. It was elusive and tantalizing still, but he knew that it would grow more prevalent. He knew that scent as he knew his own name. He dreaded that scent as he dreaded not finding she to whom it belonged. And above all, he wanted that scent more than his next breath. He wanted it within him, upon him, enveloping him like a womb. "Mahal," he groaned. "Please, Maker, not now."
Fili and Kili looked at their uncle, but sparing no thought as to why he was so upset. They inhaled the fragrance deeply once more, closing their eyes, savoring the bouquet that they couldn't name. They closed the distance between them, hands grasping, fingers entwining as they just stood and breathed.
Kili, who had ever deferred to his older brother in all things, rubbed his nose against Fili's neck in a submissive manner, while Fili grabbed his brother's hair and yanked back his brother's head viciously. Fili purred deep within his throat as he bit into the younger's neck drawing blood. He sucked a vicious bruise into the dark prince's neck over the bite, then slid his tongue along Kili's collar bone. Kili whimpered with need, thrusting his pelvis into and against his brother's.
Thorin couldn't believe what he was witnessing. It was as if he no longer existed for his nephews. He couldn't believe that his nephews were behaving this way, rutting against each other, pawing at each other, beginning to undress each…'OH HELL NO, this must end NOW!' Thorin thought.
He dismounted his pony and made his way to Fili and Kili. "ENOUGH," he raged, pulling them apart with a yank of his hands upon their shoulders. He wasn't certain what he was more upset by, his nephews' behavior, or his envy of it.
They whipped around to face him, all recognition of him virtually gone. Their eyes were utterly blown, the colored irises consumed by their black upon black pupils. As one, they snarled viciously at him, barring and snapping their teeth, resonant, savage sounds issuing forth from within them. 'She was theirs,' they thought.
But Thorin knew what this was and took no offense as he raised his hands in submission to his nephews. "It is the scent, my heirs," he said softly, trying to reach the thinking, rational part that he knew was somewhere still inside them. "You must fight it, lads. You MUST…FIGHT…IT." Even Thorin was having trouble keeping a level head and he had none of the bond the princes had with Gili. He shook his head slightly and tried to reason with Fili and Kili once more. "Your sister is still out there, alone. We must find her. Please, lads, clear your minds and place your thoughts on Gili. She needs you."
The brothers continued to stand there, every unclothed part of their bodies seeking out and touching the others. That touch was comfort and solace to their souls. That touch was home to them. But they knew there was something missing from the touch. As right as it was, it was so utterly lacking and wrong, for they were without their One, their Gili.
Fili was first to shake off the spell of Gili's scent that remained where they stood. Kili was still whimpering with need, not able to reach Gili and not able to get close enough to the only other person with whom he could find relief. Fili took his brother's shoulders in his hands and shook him gently. "Kili, snap out of it. Wake up and open your eyes. Look at me. We must come back to reality and find our One!"
Kili moaned, slightly, looking at Fili as though drunk. Fili knew just how he was feeling, giddy, hard as the granite of the mountains in his breeches, aching with need and desire. Fili felt it all from his brother and from himself. "Please uncle, forgive us. I know not what has come over us," he spoke with guilt and shame.
"Fili, Kili, you must fight these urges with all of your strength. They will only grow stronger with time. But I think we may be able to use your bond, your connection with Gili to help find her. I didn't believe it was true in the beginning. I didn't want to think that you both had actually completed the bonding, that you had lain with your sister," Thorin said, trying in vain to hide the timbre of disgust in his voice.
Before he could finish, Fili interrupted, "But we have not defiled her in any way, uncle. We have loved her, yes, given her pleasure and taken pleasure from her as well, but her virtue remains intact, uncle. I swear it upon the tombs of our forefathers."
Thorin nodded, "I believe you, Fili, for I know you. But be that as it may, the bond is there. It is strong, and even if not complete, I believe it is enough to help us find her. And find her we must, soon. She is alone. She is unprotected. And very soon, she will be flowering for the first time."
Fili and Kili gasped simultaneously. It was too soon. She was far too young still, barely an adolescent in the eyes of their kin. How was it possible? All the questions and feelings rushed forth at once. They hoped that there would soon be answers, but right now all they cared about was finding their One. And now, for the first time, they had hope that came with the certainty of their bond with her. They trusted their hearts to lead them to Gili. They trusted their love to find her.