Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, and the quote in the last line is from T.S. Elliot.

Chapter 14: "The Black Gates"

Something in his subconscious told him the forest was flying by in a blur, but nothing else in his brain processed where he was or where he was going. His body was numb, obeying a set of primitive impulses that permitted its owner's mind to otherwise completely shut down. Disassociation, it was called. Mentally, he had vacated his body almost immediately after leaving the palace. It allowed him to sidestep the grief and guilt that would otherwise have filled his normally cold heart. When he disassociated it was as though he was merely a narrator watching the scene before him from a third-person view instead of through his own eyes.

There was a legend in Demon World that if you ran to the end of the earth you would come to the gates of Hell. Well that was where he was going. He was NOT going back to Human World with Yusuke, or to Spirit World where Koenma waited. The prince would almost certainly want to hear an account of what had happened in the palace, which he would have to find from someone else. Hiei would make sure Yusuke was the only survivor.

Never did he actually think he would come to the 'End of the World,' so to speak. The fire demon had counted on passing out from shock and exhaustion long before he came to such a place, if indeed one did exist. It was all the more surprising then, almost enough to startle his brain back into functioning, when he spotted a dark place on the horizon. The infamous 'Gates of Hell' were only supposed to be a legend. Theoretically demons used to stray through the gates by accident, where they were captured and tortured until they died, at which time they would descend to Hell. As it became feared it turned more to a haven for demons that had given up on life and sought a quick end. In reality very few actually believed the stories. Still, no one was foolish enough to try and find it to prove the legend. Normally Hiei would have been the one to enter and fight his way to return, in essence beating death, but not this time.

As he drew closer there was no mistaking what he had found. It seemed the gates materialized out of the dark surroundings, pale and shining, enough to strike fear into any normal demon. Standing by the gate was a bat demon with a spear, though his image was faint, as though he was already dead himself. Wisps of cobweb and dust hung from his wings, giving him a falsely frail appearance. It was a deception, for the aura he was emitting was an eerie one full of power. In his state though, Hiei knew nothing of fear, or of regret, so he approached without hesitating or looking back.

The demon at the gate snorted to suppress a laugh. "I never thought I'd see you here Hiei…"

At the palace, Yusuke was sitting in the middle of Mukuro's chamber, face in his hands, numb with shock as the enormity of what had taken place began to seep past his defenses. Mukuro was dead, Hiei was gone… the Spirit Detective blinked and lifted his head, looking around the room in urgency. He knew he hadn't been able to shake the feeling they were missing something. Where had Yukina gone? He remembered pushing her through the door in the flurry of battle and… The rest of his memory was fogged by pain and grief.

"Yusuke, you stupid moron," he scolded himself, pushing himself to his feet. He should have known never to have left her alone. Or remembered and thought to look for her earlier… He swore loudly. Hiei would kill him.

But…Yusuke slowed his pace until he was standing on the outer walkway of the palace, looking out into the forest. Was Hiei really coming back? As far as the Spirit Detective knew, the only reason Hiei had remained in Demon World was for Mukuro, and now she was gone… Yukina would not be enough to keep him, not when he had told her goodbye for the last time before he even left for Demon World. Even then he had planned never to tell her, and to do so now in hopes it would bring the fire demon back would be disastrous. There was no doubt the Ice Maiden would take her brother's disappearance very hard, even if she didn't know the truth.

The fire demon would disappear into shadow and eventually become a legend…

If Yusuke hadn't been so out of sorts with shock he would have noticed the oar against the wall and its owner leaning on it, tears in her lavender eyes. The Spirit Detective had nearly passed her when Botan reached out and touched his arm, causing him to jump and spin around with his hand already in Spirit Gun firing position. For a second they remained that way until Yusuke blinked and lowered his hand, rubbing his eyes with the other.

"I'm sorry Botan," he murmured. "I'm just…"

"Afraid?" the Grim Reaper prodded gently, an understanding look in her eyes.

Yusuke sighed and leaned against the wall with his forehead pressed to the cool stone. "I suppose since you're here it means there's no hope for Mukuro."

Botan noted the respect in Yusuke's voice when he said the demon lord's name, and it made her heart clench. "No," she said softly. "She was dead from the moment she was hit. I'm sorry…" She could only watch painfully as Yusuke smashed his hand against the wall in frustration.

"I should have done something!" he said angrily, his voice dangerously close to snapping. "I could have saved her. I could have saved both of them!"

There was nothing she could say. Botan had a vague idea of what had happened in the palace, but she was sure it paled compared to the horrors the Spirit Detective had actually experienced down there. The fact that Yusuke was standing in front of her so stressed and dazed after a battle was proof enough, and it scared her. She also knew she would have to tell Yusuke the truth eventually; she had come for more than Mukuro's soul. The rest of the story needed to be told.

"Yusuke?" she said softly. The Spirit Detective looked up, his expression making her next words catch in her throat and causing her to pause for a moment to sort them out. "Koenma also sent me to bring you back to Spirit World. He needs to hear firsthand what happened."

"I'm not going," the Spirit Detective said immediately, and he was surprised when Botan didn't seem angry. "I'm not telling Koenma what happened in there." Watching the blue-haired messenger, he half expected her to grab him by the ear and drag him behind her oar up to Spirit World. But she didn't. He at least expected her to look mad. But she didn't. Finally unable to take it, Yusuke demanded, "Aren't you going to force me?"

"No," Botan replied simply. "I agree with you on this one. What happened down there was awful. But I would have thought at least that you would want to see Yukina and help comfort her, since her brother won't be able to." She said this last part sadly, but Yusuke didn't notice.

"Yukina's in Spirit World?" the teenager asked in surprise.

Botan nodded. "I took her back along with Mukuro's spirit." There was no more beating around the bush, the messenger told herself firmly. If she didn't tell him now, Yusuke would figure it out on his own sooner or later. "That's not why I'm here now," she said in response to Yusuke's puzzled look, meaning he had also figured out that something was amiss. "There's something you need to know Yusuke. Something about Hiei."

----

"Botan, you have an assignment," Koenma told her in an exhausted voice as he consulted the new file that had been placed on his desk. He hated to ask her to do this, especially after what had happened. Between the two of them, their nerves were shot, and their minds were teetering dangerously on the same brink.

"But, I've just done Mukuro!" she protested, just as expected.

With a sigh, Koenma closed the file and stamped the outside with his seal. Passing it to her, the prince saw her eyes widen in surprise and the lavender orbs fill with tears. "You need to do this one, Botan. Please."

Once the gates of Hell closed, you were trapped forever. Hiei knew this, but when the doors clanged shut and snapped locked behind him, he was not afraid. Though he could not see, he knew there were bones and even darker remains of demons all around him, but he was untroubled. Why should you fear what you cannot see? The darkness hanging around him like mist did not unnerve him as it had so many demons before. After all, the fire demon had been facing Hell all his life. To him, this darkness was welcome.

Without being able to explain how, Hiei knew he was being followed. Small scavenger demons scuttled around his feet and every once-in-a-while he would hear a crunch as his foot crushed a tiny skeleton. These weren't what he felt, however. There was a bigger presence that seemed to fill the entire room, and he could feel it closing in on him. When it reached him, he would die, there was no doubt. But for now his demon energy kept the smothering presence at bay and the fire demon continued to walk further and further down the path of no return.

The fire demon didn't know it at the time, but it was also the path of memories.

"Hina had twins, and one of them is a boy!"

"I'm looking for a demon named Shigure. I was told he could give me a Jagan implant."

"Countless centuries. Countless masters trying to harness the power of the darkness flame. Only I had the strength, the courage and the abandon to realize its glorious potential."

"So why don't we just kill Kuwabara again?"

"Fate's for the fools, and we were fools this time. We thought we could beat another arrogant enemy. We were arrogant this time. I hate being underestimated, but underestimating is even worse."

"Damn you Mukuro, can't you see? I love you!"

"I like a demon that can talk. If they all could fight as well as they talked this world wouldn't be such a rotting place with demon lords like your friend Mukuro."

The last voice froze him. That familiar tone, so condescending, and hard as diamonds… Something in Hiei's mind vaguely registered this, and he felt the haze that hung over his consciousness slowly beginning to clear. A crack was carved in his defenses, allowing a small trickle of emotions to flow back into his heart, and with each new feeling the crack widened, into a rift, and finally to a fissure that allowed everything to come pouring back in a flood. He could feel his heart sinking under the weight of the newfound grief. He could feel…? His mental awareness was returning to him…

"What's happening?" Hiei whispered to himself, sinking to his knees in the dismally dark passageway. He barely remembered tripping and falling in blood in his battle with Atasu. Though he didn't specifically think of it, something in his mind told him it had been Mukuro's blood. His memory was blank. And then…

And then…?

"Some say it's a defense mechanism."

The new voice sent the fire demon scrambling to his feet, his hand already closing around the sword at his side. The echoes of the words continued to ring in his ears for a moment longer, thoroughly disorienting his still-clouded mind. This voice was not like the others; it had a human quality to it, even more so than Hiei's did as he called out in an unsteady voice, "Who are you?"

He would have sworn the voice sounded amused as it replied, "I am you."

"Don't speak in riddles to me!" Hiei snapped. If he had been any saner, he would have realized how stupid this conversation must seem to anyone else who could possibly have heard it. But in his present state, the fire demon didn't care that he was talking to a disembodied voice that, for all he knew, could be a figment of his imagination as a result of shock.

It was as though someone was reading his mind (or what his mind would have been thinking, had it been functioning at the time), because the only reply was merely, "This is pointless." This time the fire demon was sure the voice was closer, though with the echo it was almost impossible to tell. Without realizing he was doing so, Hiei backed himself against the cold walls of the passageway, subconsciously knowing he was safest if he couldn't be caught from behind. A trembling, sweaty hand tightened around the sword hanging at his side.

"Don't act so afraid," Hiei was told by whoever had been talking to him all this time. "I don't plan to hurt you. At least, if you can prevent it."

"I'm afraid?" Hiei snapped. "Who's the one who has to hide in the darkness?"

"I see your point. Forgive me."

It happened suddenly. At first Hiei thought he heard something moving off to his right, causing him to divert his attention that direction; the next moment, the wind had been forced out of him, knocking the demon off balance. It startled him more than it hurt, but either way the fire demon was on his knees. For the first time, Hiei felt a pang of real fear shoot through his stomach.

"Do you see me?" the other demon asked. In a flash, Hiei realized the other was standing barely two feet in front of him, his presence completely hidden in the darkness. All except for an eye.

Wait…an eye?

The purple eye stared at him, its gaze penetrating and oddly familiar. Starting to believe he was hallucinating again, Hiei blinked as another eye appeared, also staring him down. For a moment, the feeling of fear resting in the pit of his stomach was eclipsed by a feeling of curiosity. What kind of creature was this? Another eye appeared and blinked at him. Then, a yellow-white flame ignited somewhere near Hiei's left ear, searing his eyes and temporarily blinding him. Head throbbing, he reeled backward and fell against the wall.

As the unexpected light subsided and the bright stars dancing before his eyes faded slightly, Hiei found himself staring at a demon that was much too familiar. Though it had been ages since he had adopted the form, the fire demon still remembered his transformation perfectly; the enhanced sense of power, of agility and prowess, that surged through his body; an ability to see his opponents' moves before they could make them; but mostly the blinding speed at which he could execute movements and attacks that left his enemies stunned. To see it now, this time as the victim reflecting in those purple eyes, was enough to stun him.

"You seem surprised," the Jaganshi commented dryly. "Like I said, I am you. Or, should I say, who you would have become had you not stooped to being manipulated as Spirit World's pet."

"You mean… I… that's…" the ability to form words was lost to the fire demon. This had to be some kind of illusion, or dream. Even as he hoped that would prove true, Hiei knew it was not.

The demon in front of him, apart from looking physically frightening (he had green skin, after all!), also emitted an aura of supreme confidence and power that was much more intimidating. Briefly the fire demon wondered if he'd had the same effect when he took this form. To be blunt, the cumulative affect was repulsive. "How did Yusuke stand to fight me, much less even look at me?" Hiei wondered with a humorless smirk.

The smile was not lost on the Jaganshi, who did not take lightly to being laughed at. His eyes narrowed, and the muscles in his right arm rippled dangerously, drawing Hiei's eyes there. Somehow after everything else he had seen it didn't surprise him to see his dragon tattooed on the other demon's arm.

"What are you doing?" Hiei asked nervously, instinctively taking a step back as the demon took one toward him. Great move, now he'd made it mad.

"I don't think you quite understand the magnitude of your predicament," the Jaganshi snarled. "I'm here to judge you."

"Judge me?" Hiei questioned, though he couldn't come up with a sharp retort because he found himself cornered. "I would back off if I were you," he growled, his voice taking on the dark note he had once been famous for. Instinctively the fire demon reached up and began to untie the bandage around his arm.

"You can try that," the other demon said with traces of a laugh, "but I think you'll be disappointed. You see, I'm you, remember? You are merely a soul waiting at the gates of hell."

Feeling the desperate need to argue, Hiei tore away the rest of his bandage, only to stop cold when his eyes took in the lack of any black markings on his arm. "My dragon!" the fire demon gasped, touching his arm in disbelief.

As a last effort, Hiei tried to push his way into the other demon's mind, only to meet the strongest resistance he had ever faced. It pushed him back, even closer to the wall. Meanwhile, the Jaganshi continued to advance, the many eyes on his body open and scouring the fire demon with a pale purple light. Anxiously Hiei reached up and tugged away his headband, only to realize in the single most horrifying moment of his life that the third eye he had once possessed was gone. There wasn't even a scar, almost as though he had never had it implanted all those years ago.

"I am you," the Jaganshi repeated, and finally Hiei believed him. "And I'm here to judge you."

"Something about Hiei?" Yusuke repeated, turning away from the wall to look Botan in the eye. "Don't tell me you know where he is."

Surprisingly for Yusuke, a tear rolled down Botan's cheek as she nodded her head slightly, unable to do anything else in acknowledgement.

"Well let's go then!" the Spirit Detective said assertively, his voice jarring her. "We have to find him before something else happens!" Filled with a new determination, he was about to jump out the window into the forest when he met Botan's eyes, and the desperate look in them immobilized him. "What's wrong?" Yusuke asked nervously. "There's something you're not telling me…"

"Yes," Botan sobbed, unable to stop herself from crying now that the first tears had broken.

"What is it?" Yusuke demanded. He took a few steps closer to her, his heart thudding nervously in his throat. Something had gone wrong, he could sense it. "Answer me!" the teenager shouted, his already-fried nerves being pulled to a breaking point by Botan's ominous silence. In a blinding surge of frustration he pushed the messenger against the wall, practically standing over her. "What the hell's happened Botan?"

"…Hiei's…dead, Yusuke."

It felt like someone had shot him.

"Dead?" Yusuke repeated weakly. The floor swam slightly before his eyes and he collapsed against the wall, feeling as though his legs had turned to lead and his head was underwater. "He can't be dead. He wouldn't just die. Never. Not Hiei. Hiei would never let himself be killed like that."

He was rambling, but Botan didn't interrupt. When the Spirit Detective found himself at a loss for words and fell silent, she moved beside him and rested her hand on his arm. It stung her to feel him trembling.

"Yusuke, Hiei wasn't killed," Botan said gently. There was no obvious change in the teenager's expression despite meeting her eyes, and the Grim Reaper wasn't sure if her words had registered with him. "He…he walked through the Gates of Hell. I took him to Spirit World myself."

----

It seemed surreal as she landed on Demon World soil for the second time that night. The chaotic atmosphere that had been present when she'd picked up Mukuro and Yukina was starting to subside slightly, though the sky still remained a turbulent purple color. At least it had faded some; when she had come earlier it had been red, the color of blood…

Just as Koenma had told her, waiting on the plains was a demon that Botan recognized even from a distance. A swirling cloak, the familiar spiky black hair, his confident posture despite his short stature; she knew it all too well.

"Hiei?" Botan murmured, feeling her voice tremble in the demon's presence.

"So he sent you," Hiei said, as though the sight of her didn't upset him in the slightest. "I almost wish he hadn't."

"Why?" she asked, though it was more out of obligation than actual curiosity. Hiei was bound to tell her whether she asked or not.

It looked as though the fire demon considered answering for a moment, though apparently he thought better of it and shook his head. "I don't have to explain myself to you," he growled.

"Fine," the messenger replied weakly. Then, unable to restrain herself any longer, she asked, "Why? Why did you do it?" Her voice trembled, but it continued to rise. "How could you let it end this way? Why, Hiei?"

She was shouting at him, Hiei noticed angrily, and he bit his tongue to keep silent. There was no way she could understand. She was the Grim Reaper for hell's sake! "You can't possibly understand. You're immortal."

"So death was your escape?" Botan snapped. "You were too cowardly to face it and took the easy out. Is that right?"

"Who are you to judge?" Hiei shouted back, his blood boiling from her words.

"You don't think I understand?" Botan screamed incredulously. "All you demons, you seem to think death is the end of everything. I watch all of you die, and I take you to Hell where you belong. Everyone seems to think; 'Oh Botan doesn't care, she's immune,' but I do feel pain at losing people I care about. But what can I do?" she asked quietly. "Because death isn't an escape for me."

Her words rendered Hiei speechless, caught like a fish out of water. "Get on," Botan said with a sigh, mounting her oar. Silently, the fire demon did as he was told.

"Fight me."

It was another memory, a trick created by his mind. He was hanging on the brink of a nervous breakdown; this was to be expected. After all, how many times had he heard those words before?

"Fight me," his shadow repeated, and this time Hiei finally realized he was being addressed.

The Jaganshi drew the sword at his hip, a cruel mockery of the one Hiei carried. The blade curved sharply, its end coming to two points like the forked tongue of a snake. Or a dragon, Hiei thought. There was no mark of loyalty on this sword. It, just like its wielder, was a free spirit that took orders from and allied with no one. Was this the demon he would have become?

"Why don't you draw?" the other demon asked in confusion.

"Just kill me." The words came out in a whisper. Looking down, the Jaganshi frowned at the pathetic demon at his feet. Though the fire demon wouldn't meet his eyes as he pleaded —Hiei found he couldn't bring himself to do it— the sight still disgusted the seasoned warrior. And this demon was supposed to be his other?

"Stand and fight!" the demon ordered harshly, but Hiei made no move to obey. "If you defeat me, you will have a second attempt at life."

"No," Hiei repeated weakly. He didn't want a second chance. He didn't deserve one.

"Fine," the Jaganshi snarled. "You obviously don't deserve the opportunity." Slowly he drew his sword, as though the sound of the blade scraping against the inside of the scabbard could scare Hiei into fighting.

So this is how the world ends; not with a bang, but with a whimper.

So there you go (dodges everyone's violent throwing of tomatoes because she killed off her characters) Just wait, the next (last) chapter will make everything ok. I promise.