A/N: I'm so, so sorry that it took me a couple of days longer than usual to update! My schedules and head got the better of me. (winces apologetically) I really hope that this chapter makes up for it!

First, though… THANK YOU, so very much, for all your reviews and support! It warms my heart immensely that so many of you have joined the ride.

Awkay, because I've already kept you waiting too long… Let's go! I really hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

Jitters and Embraces

Derek knew that he could be quite scary when he got on his protective Alpha mode. But a protective Spencer… Well, that was a whole another level of terrifying.

A particularly memorable moment came when a overly pushy elderly doctor entered the hospital room, curious to see the first Alpha and Omega produced baby of his career. It was like a visitor appearing to a zoo. With their child on the wrong side of the cage.

Derek was about to react but Spencer was far faster. Instead of the very much physical attack Derek had in mind Spencer stalked over to the obnoxious doctor and leaned close. It would forever remain a mystery what the visibly furious Omega growled into the doctor's ear. The speed at which the older man disappeared, his face chalk white and shaking, convinced Derek that he might just be happier not knowing. It took ten full minutes before Spencer stopped glaring at the room's door, guarding it in case of another intrusion. The entire time the younger man shielded their son with his body. The sight was so right and so wrong all at once that Derek's heart swell.

The entire ward most likely breathed a collective sigh of relief on the day their little family was finally ready to go home. Derek himself felt ready to shout out with sheer joy over getting out of the room that'd started to make him feel claustrophobic. Spencer, on the other hand, didn't seem to share his enthusiasm.

They were waiting for a nurse to deliver the discharge papers when Derek stole a yet another glance towards Spencer, who was sitting on the edge of the by then familiar bed, looking at their son who slept soundly right next to the Omega. A frown appeared to the Alpha's face when he saw the shadows and fear in the younger man's eyes. "Spencer? Are you okay?"

Spencer nodded slowly, appearing very much not alright. "Yeah." The man gulped. "I just… I'm not sure if I'm ready to take him home yet."

All of a sudden Derek understood, quite well in fact. So far they'd been in a very controlled and safe environment, surrounded by people who were able to help with any and every emergency that might turn up. But now… Now it was time to go home. To try and figure out their own way, preferably without causing irreversible physical or emotional harm on their son in the process. If he was honest with himself Derek was scared, too.

"Think positively", Derek advised. "You'll get far away from the so called food these monsters have been feeding you. To your own bed." He was careful not to voice the word 'nest', knowing that Spencer was far from comfortable with Omega terminology. "And you'll get some nice, proper coffee. What's there not to love?"

For a moment a trace of a smile touched Spencer's lips. "I know. I just…" The man gritted his teeth, visibly fighting with himself. "I'm scared that I'll break him somehow."

Derek smiled. "Weren't you supposed to be a genius?" Without even noticing the gesture he took the Omega's hand and squeezed it. "Take a look at the facts and statistics. He refuses to fall asleep without you nearby. He eats better when it's you giving him the food. And you're the only one who can change his diaper without making him scream like his head is being torn off."

Spencer gave him a half-hearted threatening glare. The hand in Derek's squeezed back gently. "I'm not going to let you use that as an excuse to skip diaper-duty."

Derek chuckled. Only the fact that things were still more than a little testy between them kept him from kissing his friend right there. That, and the fact that something was still off. "We're both nervous about taking him home. But I've already promised to stay in your apartment with you, at least at first. Until you heal a bit and get a hang of things. You won't have to go through it alone. So what else is worrying you?"

Spencer looked away. It was hard to determine if it was irritation or shame in the man's eyes. "We weren't supposed to profile each other."

Derek felt fully ready to snap something that would've most likely made things worse. But just then Spencer's primary nurse appeared, a smile on her face. "So… Are you three ready to go home?"

Derek finally got his answer that night when his instincts roused him, morsing frantically that something was wrong. His eyes flashed in the room's dark while he began to leave the couch he'd been occupying. Instantly all his protective instincts became activated.

Leo and Spencer…!

Derek was up at a speed that made him feel dizzy for a long moment but he barely noticed. His steps made barely a sound while he rushed towards the nursery. What he saw upon making it to the doorway froze him to the spot.

Spencer was just sitting there, looking at Leo while the baby slept soundly. Staring so intently that it suggested the man was trying to absorb the infant with his gaze. It might've all been heartwarming if it wasn't for the deep lines of worry on Spencer's face and the haunted look in those exhausted hazel eyes.

Derek frowned and entered. "Spencer?" He dared to take a few steps closer when a barely traceable jump was all the reaction he received. "You were told to rest, remember? You just gave birth and there are still stitches… all over." He preferred not thinking about the exact location. It would've made the already awkward situation unbearable.

Spencer licked his lips and it was then the trembling became visible. The genius was clearly avoiding his gaze. "I… I tried sleeping. But… I had nightmares."

A sharp stab of ache crossed Derek. It took a considerable amount of willpower to keep him from running to Spencer and… "Something you'd like to share?"

Spencer was quiet for so long that Derek was sure that there wouldn't be a response. But then, stunning them both, the Omega began to whisper. "Leo… He was crying. I was listening, but… I couldn't go to him. I couldn't even offer a single word of comfort. And then… Then I didn't even care anymore. He grew quiet and I didn't care." The young man wrapped his arms tightly around himself, never once looking away from the baby although his eyes didn't seem dry. "I… My mom couldn't be exactly… present. My father left when I was ten and before that… Well, he had mom to focus on. So… I know how it feels, to be alone like that."
Derek's heart quite literally broke, there. This was the most open he'd ever seen Spencer and the emotional load, the trace of the genius' nightmare, was overwhelming. He gulped loudly. "Spencer…"

It was hard to say if Spencer heard him. The younger man's gaze seemed glazed over. "I don't want to be that kind of a parent. Leo… He deserves so much more."

"Hey, none of that!" Derek actually managed to keep his Alpha side in check enough to sound genuinely comforting. With just a couple of strives he'd reached Spencer's side and placed a gentle hand underneath the man's chin to make sure that they were eye to eye. "You've already proven yourself to be a thousand times the parent yours ever have been." How was it possible that Spencer didn't see the connection he had with Leo?

Spencer didn't seem relieved yet, though. After a couple of long moments the Omega finally looked at him, eyes very serious and full of shadows that echoed from the darkest corners of the past. "If I ever become… unwell like mom…"

Derek shook his head fiercely, interrupting the younger man. He was not going to let Spencer do this to himself. "You won't."

Spencer chuckled humorlessly. "How could you know that? It's not something that you or I have control over. I just…" The man gulped, looking away for a beat. "I need you to promise me that if it ever goes there, you put Leo first. That you won't make him watch it. That… That you won't abandon him with me. Because I can't let him…"

Derek couldn't hold himself back for another second. Fighting back tears with all his might he wrapped his arms around Spencer, pulling the Omega close fiercely. Spencer stiffened for a bit, obviously stunned by his actions, but then practically melted againt him. Two hands grabbed the back of Derek's shirt with a incredible amount of force.

Derek sighed, running his hand through Spencer's hair. "I promise", he whispered. After about five minutes of those gentle ministrations and small, soothing sounds the Alpha dimly realized he was producing the worst seemed to be over. He could actually feel a bit of calm settle into the Omega. Still he tightened his hold, not willing to let go now that he had the other so close. "So… Is there anything else in the amazing head of yours that's worrying you?"

Spencer pulled away ever so slightly, peering directly into his eyes. Those hazel eyes, the ones that charmed Derek the moment he met them although it took him years to realize it, shone in the room's dim light. But it wasn't with tears. The Omega's pupils were dilated and Derek could practically feel the man's elevated heartbeat, which matched almost perfectly with his. Spencer licked his lips and before Derek realized properly what was happening his were claimed.

At first the kiss was slow and tentative, almost shy, while Spencer tested the ground on which they stood. When Derek responded with eagerness that he couldn't control the Omega added both pressure and speed. The emotions that flowed through the Alpha made his head spin, filled his whole body with something that he couldn't even begin to explain.

Spencer's taste… The feel of those warm lips on his… All those tiny sounds, echoing from the back of the other's throat… The Omega's scent…

It took all Derek had to regain his sanity. To realized that as much as he wanted to he couldn't let this continue. He groaned against the other's lips and shivered, pulling away as gently as he could. "I… I want this", he admitted hoarsely. "You wouldn't even believe how much. But not like this." He stroked Spencer's flushed cheek gently with his thumb when the younger man emitted a small moan of frustration. That sound, accompanied by how hard certain parts of them were while pressed together, certainly didn't make bringing down the flames any easier. "You're still hormonal after the birth and scared." He smiled, nuzzling his nose against Spencer so affectionately that it stunned him. "I want you. But only when you're ready."

Spencer nodded, his eyes full of disappointment, understanding, relief and softness. The man succumbed to the most adorable yawn Derek had ever seen. The Omega grinned sheepishly afterwards and blinked sluggishly. "Sorry."

Derek shrugged with a smile. "I'd rather imagine that I succeeded in making you relax than boring you." Gently, gently he began to lead Spencer towards the massive armchair not too far from where Leo slept. On their way he attempted to stiffle a yawn of his own. "There's still a lot we need to talk about. But first we have to get some rest."

Spencer frowned, all of a sudden very tense once more. Derek was immensely relieved when the younger man didn't resist upon being pulled down to his lap. It took at least ten minutes before the Omega finally relaxed fully against him, sinking into his arms and resting his head against his shoulder. "You may not get a lot of rest with me around", the younger man warned him, trying to keep his tone light and failing miserably.

Derek shrugged. "I don't care", he announced bluntly. "I wouldn't get any sleep away from you, either, knowing that you're fighting your demons alone. This is where I'm supposed to be."

He wondered if he said something wrong when Spencer tensed up while those words sunk in. But then, gradually, his friend began to relax once more. Derek combed his hand through the other's slightly overgrown hair while Spencer's breathing began to even out. He didn't stop even when the Omega had drifted away fully, as though afraid that the loss of contact would unleash whatever beasts the other was battling.

With his other hand Derek pulled Spencer closer still, sheltering the other half of his whole world the best as he could. A frown appeared to his face when Spencer shivered in his sleep, then calmed again at the feel of his hand in the man's brown locks. With a sigh the Alpha pressed a tender, small ghost of a kiss to the sleeping man's forehead.

Spencer had always been entirely too good at bottling things up. Now it was becoming clear that at least some of those issues would have to be torn wide open and dealt with, for the sake of Spencer himself and their son. But not tonight.

Tonight he'd hold Spencer and do whatever he could to keep the nightmares away, and for now that'd just have to be enough.

The past weeks, or the time before that when Spencer had been in Las Vegas to sort out his feelings, hadn't been easy on Dr. Gregory Wilson. It wasn't easy to wait and wonder if the man he loved returned his feelings. And it was even harder to receive a text message saying that the baby was finally born and not being able to visit, to go and make sure that the daddy and baby were alright. Another Alpha marching into Derek's territory right after the man's child was born would've been a horrible mistake. It would've done none of them any good. So they remained stuck on occasional text messages and phone calls.

Yet despite the complications Greg wanted whatever he'd be able to get with Spencer. Even if it was just a friendship. No matter how much it'd hurt. But as time passed by without them being able to even meet he began to wonder if he was stuck with nothing.

That was until one miserably dark and gloomy day six weeks after Leo was born. Greg was just getting ready to go home when there was a knock on his office's door. He frowned, irritation flaring inside. He wasn't supposed to see any more patients for the day. "Yes?"

The person entering the room more than a little hesitantly was the about last one he'd expected. For a while he could only stare when Spencer materialized in his office. His heartbeat sped up for a moment when he realized that Leo was also along. It was harder than it should've been to look away form the little one's sleeping face.

"Before you start worrying, Derek knows that I'm here." There was a nervous half smile on the Omega's face. "I just… I had an appointment here and I felt that we need to talk." There was a great deal of longing in those hazel eyes but it wasn't anything romantic. Greg was just a friend that'd been missed terribly over what had to be one of the most overwhelming times of the other's life. The realization hurt.

Still Greg managed to smile while he watched the younger man settling to a chair on the other side of his desk. Then, slowly, his eyebrows furrowed. "You should've told me that you're not okay."

Spencer's eyes were widened slightly when they met his. Genuinely surprised. "What are you talking about?"

Greg sighed, then spoke carefully, not willing to upset the Omega further. "You've lost the pregnancy weight at a incredible speed. And I'm pretty sure that you can't remember the last time you ate properly. It also seems that you haven't been sleeping properly and it's not just because of Leo's colic."

To his surprise Spencer nodded, firmly focused on the baby. It was impossible to read the look in the man's eyes. "I know", the genius admitted softly. There was a long, thoughtful pause. "I'm… I booked another appointment yesterday." The younger man sighed. "There are… things, that I need to sort out with someone that isn't…" The words got lost into the air between them.

"… too close", Greg supplied. And he understood, better than well. He spent a moment watching how Spencer picked up Leo when the baby began to make small distressed noises. "I'm glad that you're getting help. I want you to be happy." Even when it wasn't with him.

Spencer looked at him. Understanding filled the genius' eyes, along with some unnecessary guilt. "I want you to be happy, too."

For a moment they sat in a rather companionable silence. Greg couldn't help but smile at how Leo calmed down almost instantly in his daddy's protective arms. "That suits you, you know?"

For a second confusion was apparent in Spencer's eyes. A beyond puzzled look appeared to the genius' face when realization dawned, along with a blush that would've made anyone's knees weaken. "What, being a dad? I… I don't even know what I'm doing."

Greg shrugged. "Does anyone?" He glanced fondly towards the baby. It was foreign for any Alpha to feel such affection towards another's offspring. But then again, this one was Spencer's, too. "Besides, Leo seems to disagree."

Spencer smiled brightly for a moment, letting their eyes meet. Slowly yet steadily the expression grew more solemn until the Omega sighed. "Look, Greg… I'm sorry…"

Greg shook his head immediately. "You've just gotta believe that some things aren't your fault", he pointed out gently yet firmly. We can't choose who we love, unfortunately. He then got up, rubbing his hands together. "So… How would you feel about me buying you a cup of coffee at that new place across the street? Because I've understood that such is what friends do."

Spencer's smile, albeit quite small, was free of all tension. Full of relief and gratitude. And although it stung Greg knew that he did the right thing.

It wasn't the beginning of the relationship that he'd been desiring, but perhaps it was the start of a wonderful friendship.

It took Spencer longer than it should've to get back home after his meeting with Greg. He didn't regret his decision. No matter how much he enjoyed spending time with the doctor that spark would never turn into something larger than life. But it wasn't easy to break someone's heart.

Spencer tried to calm his nerves with walking around the city. It was a relief that the slight cool breeze seemed to lull Leo into a peaceful slumber. There was no point in having both of them worked up at the same time.

When Spencer finally entered his apartment he stiffened, alarm bells going off in his head. He wasn't alone. Something in him shivered pleasantly when he soon realized that he knew this particular presence. It made things a lot better and so much worse all at once.

With not exactly steady hands he made sure that Leo wasn't hungry and checked the baby's diaper. He was quite pleased to manage it without rousing his son. Then, after watching the infant sleeping for a few moments, Spencer finally felt ready to face what was surely waiting in the bedroom.

When he gave Derek the key to his apartment Spencer had assumed that it'd be only used in cases of emergency. Apparently the Alpha sleeping currently in his bed, clearly exhausted and fresh back from a tough case, had deemed this one such. The Omega was sure that it wasn't about Greg this time. Something about the case had gotten under Derek's skin and the older man had considered his home – his and their baby's home – the only place that could provide enough comfort. If the Alpha's scent was anything to go by the man seemed to be starting to consider this his home as well. The thought was… terrifying, really.

Derek was expecting a level of commitment and companionship, a level of trust, that Spencer just wasn't ready for, at least yet.

Spencer stood by the bedroom's doorway for a few moments, his whole body frozen by indecision. Until something deep inside him made the decision for him. Slowly, carefully as a thief despite climbing into his own bed, he made his way beside Derek and lay down. Instantly his mind became filled by the other's familiar, comforting scent and shivers of pleasure went through him.

Maybe Derek wouldn't hurt him again. Maybe one day he'd be ready to let Derek close enough for… whatever it was forming between them to become a relationship. They both had a lot to learn on that front, among others. Maybe one day he'd be ready for that real bond he could tell Derek craved. Maybe one day there'd be just the three of them in their little family instead of all those monsters from their pasts. Maybe, just maybe, this could actually work out somehow.

But tonight wasn't the time to worry about any of that. And so Spencer sighed deeply with contentment, then closed his eyes and relaxed fully against the Alpha. For a few hours letting go of all his worries. The last thing he felt before dozing off was Derek's arm wrapping protectively around him.

They both slept soundly, leaving the turmoils of the past and future where they belonged.

TBC

A/N: There's still a long road to go. (sighs) But at least they seem to be starting it together. This story is slowly starting to tick towards its end but maybe this is just the beginning for our little family.

Soooo, any thoughts? Was it worth the wait? Do let me know!

I've reeeeeeeally gotta go now. Until next time, ya all! I really hope that I'll see you there.

Take care!

Guest: Oh, let's hope so! I'm VERY happy to hear that you liked it.

Colossal thank yous for the review!

tymbur1: My gosh, I'm ecstatic to hear that you enjoyed it so much! (BEAMS) It seems that this is where the healing can truly begin. I REALLY hope that you'll have a good time with what's to come as well.

Massive thank yous for the review!

Gubefan1980: Welcome aboard! I'm extremely happy to hear that you've enjoyed the journey thus far so much. (grins from ear to ear) I noticed you wishing that I'd contact you via mail once I update. I'll try to track you down tomorrow, I promise!

Yes, Spencer definitely means A LOT more to Derek than he realizes. If only he saw his own value… After all that's happened it'll take a while before he's ready to BOND. Let's hope that it won't cause a rift between them. They sure have been through so much that taking it slow might be a nice little breather.

THANK YOU, so much, for your reviews! I really hope that you'll enjoy what's to come.