Chapter Fourteen:

Shout and Scream Release

Outside of Rachel's hospital room, Will was jitterier than ever. His hands were shaking and his legs were trembling, something he feared was just going to be normal from now on, and he sighed heavily when he was far away enough. Luckily for him the ward wasn't too busy and so he was able to have a moment to freak out, whilst Rachel's parents were able to embrace and be somewhat alone for the first time since arriving. Hiram was understandably releasing all of his emotions onto his husband's collar, whilst Leroy was still trying to remain collected and under control. As far as they knew, they were the only openly gay couple in the town and the only two men who had raised a child together. Right then and there in that moment however, to Will, they were simply two parents who had tried to remain strong in front of their daughter and were now letting go. Leroy took hold of his now crumbling husband in his arms, hushing him and placing light kisses on top of his head, willing him to stop crying as everything would be okay, Will stretched his arms around his back and then he gripped hold of his hair. Unlike the two men he was standing with, he hadn't been able to hold his emotions and reactions to the news and the situation as well as them. He had already vomited – not much, so it was easily cleaned up – and he had cried several times. Still feeling like he was in a nightmare, he couldn't help but let out a loud groan, he proceeded pace once more, mumbling to himself.

Just a few feet away, behind a closed hospital door was a teenage girl who was carrying his baby. Previously she was carrying his twins! And a few paces away were her parents who appeared to not have much of a problem with it! It was outstandingly…weird. And Will just couldn't stand it. Looking at the two men, Will just couldn't fathom why they weren't yelling at him. Why weren't they beating him their fists and screaming in his face? Before telling them the truth, he imagined them reacting like how he guessed Quinn Fabray's father acted. He imagined Leroy scowling at him and spitting with rage. He thought Hiram would cry but punch him solidly in the face. Where some of their actions may play in to the 'gay man' stereotype – such as Hiram's shrieking exclamations or his love Broadway – they were still men. Both of them looked to be strong and he imagined they would both be able to pack a punch. Leroy, he was sure, could probably knock him out with one good swing of his fist. So why wasn't he lying on the floor, cradling his nose, looking up at them through tears and begging for forgiveness, repeating how sorry he was whilst security held both men back?

It didn't make sense.

"I…I gotta go." He announced through a shaking whisper. Smacking his hands to his sides, he stopped pacing and was about to sprint down the hallway, when Hiram sniffled and asked; "Will? Are you okay?" To which Will turned around and faced the man with an incredulous look on his face. Was he okay? No! No, he was not okay. And looking at the man – Rachel's father – trying to stop the flow of tears from his eyes, he couldn't believe yet again that he wasn't bleeding and bruised from being punched and kicked by them both. Shaking his head looking at Hiram and then Leroy with his jaw dropped and wide eyes, Will stuttered and then manage to shout; "Am I…No! No I'm not okay, Mr Berry, I'm not!" His shouts echoed around the empty corridor, and Will hated how loud and angry he sounded. But that was how he felt and he couldn't help it. "Will, don't start calling me 'Mr Berry'." Hiram replied, straightening himself up in Leroy's arms. The two men were still holding each other, their wedding rings managing to glisten in the fluorescent light of the hospital hallway. He shook his head at them, astounded as to why they were still standing there giving him that look. That look of…pity? Why did they pity him? Why did they not hate him?

Shaking his head and pushing his arms out to the side, as if trying to get rid of everything around him, Will refused to answer Hiram with a real reply. "I have to, okay." How could he be so informal with these men? He didn't deserve to call them by their names. He wondered for a moment if he would ever feel comfortable enough and worthy enough to call them anything other than 'sir'. "I have to get out of here." The teacher said, proceeding to turn away from them and starting to walk away. However, he was barely able to turn without Leroy and Hiram's footsteps following him. This time Leroy spoke, his voice slightly harsher. Or was it just stronger than his weeping/keeping it together husband's voice? "Why?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders and holding onto Hiram's hand. "You're going back to school after receiving this kind of news?" Leroy's eyes seemed to be black. His pupils had blown and taken over, or maybe that was just Will's imagination. He couldn't understand why the man was angry at him now and not before.

Still, Will just shook his head and tried to look away from him. "No I'm…I'm not going back to school," he told him, taking in shuddering breaths, "But I can't stay here."

"Why not?" Leroy asked, stepping closer and trying to bear into his thoughts. Again Will shook his head; it was all he could do. The corridor felt too bright and his eyes were squinting through more tears. Swallowing down something, Will looked back at Leroy when he saw him approach him again. "Because Rachel should be with her family right now." Leroy was told, and the father dejected slightly. His shoulders deflated and he sighed, letting the dark black of his eyes morph back into brown. "Will, you are family." He said, calmly and quietly with that tone of compassion, sympathy and pity.

To hear Leroy call him 'family' made Will gasp and then laugh, almost swinging his fist round to knock some sort of sense into him. "No I'm not!" Shouting and almost laughing with disbelief at his words. "I'm just the guy that-"

"The guy that also lost a baby in there and the guy that is going to be a father," Leroy spoke, his voice booming and towering over Will. He had Will's focus. The teacher tried to calm his panting and he stared at Rachel's dad with clenching teeth holding down his bottom lip. With his free hand, Leroy was pointing towards Rachel's room where she was no doubt trying to come to terms with everything that had happened under the pretence of sleep. Stepping closer to the heavy breathing teacher, Leroy lowered his voice again and kept his eyes on those of Will's, urging him to break free from his anger and to transform it into another emotion. One that they could all deal with together. Carrying on from his previous lording sentence, Leroy spoke and his words rang through Will's ears; "The father to our grandchild."

Hearing Leroy's words to sharp and sternly penetrating his ears, Will just slowly shook his head again. It was true. Leroy was right. It was why they were looking at him the way they were. Those looks of pity and sympathy were because…because just like Rachel, he had lost a child. He had lost a baby. Sure, it wasn't a real baby yet, it was just a collection or a bundle of cells, but it was going to grow. The collection of DNA – his and Rachel's – growing inside of Rachel was going to become a baby and a child. A human being. His child. Just like Rachel had lost a twin, he had also lost a twin. For the second time in his life in a space of a few years, he had lost another baby. With his ex-wife who had actually never been pregnant and now with Rachel who had, by no fault of her own, miscarried. If everything went okay, if Rachel was healthy and safe, then in a few months' time he would be a father. A little baby would be born and he would be responsible for it. Right now he was responsible for creating this situation and then within a few months he would be responsible for the life of a new human being. Amazingly that just brought everything full circle. Right now, he couldn't handle the fact that he had impregnated a student and her fathers weren't demanding for some sort of punishment.

Meekly and barely audible to anyone, including himself, Will stuttered out; "I…I...I have to go," and then he shrugged himself together, mumbling "I'm sorry" and he was able to sprint away from Leroy and Hiram/Doctor and Mr Berry, away from Rachel and his unborn child and away from the hospital. Of course, no matter how fast he ran and no matter where he ran to, he was never able to run away from himself. He couldn't jog or sprint or run away from the guilt and the confusion swirling around his head. Not even with the fast speed of the cab he hailed outside the hospital was he able to get rid of the thoughts. He wasn't able to shake them away or thump them away. They were just there. No matter what song he tried to distract himself with by humming along to it on the radio, no matter how many street signs and falling leaves he counted. Nothing could distract him and nothing could get rid of everything that was cascading through his mind. Whenever he blinked he could still see Rachel's tear stained, tear soaked face. He could hear her voice crying out for him. His hands could still feel hers holding onto him. His whole body was consumed with Rachel and their baby and…and the mess they were in. And the entire time, the whole time it took from getting away from the hospital and up to his apartment, he couldn't shake away the fact that Leroy and Hiram still didn't think anything bad of him.

"Why?" He asked the emptiness of his apartment.

Hands trembling once more, he dialled the number of his best friend and colleague: Shannon Beiste. The guilt and confusion was eating him up too much. Rachel wouldn't listen, Leroy and Hiram wouldn't either and there was no way he could open up to someone he didn't know. He needed his friend. He needed to talk to someone and Shannon was the only person he could trust. More than that though, she was someone who wouldn't just tell him what he wanted to hear. Unlike Emma or a few of his other friends, Shannon would tell him exactly how it was. She wasn't one to sugar coat things or let people down gently. She was as tough as the games she coached. And Will needed that toughness. He needed her harsh words and her jabbing finger. He needed to someone to tell him he was right. Shannon would do that. Although she was a tough woman who was by no means girly, she was still a woman who knew about women's rights. As soon as Will would tell her what happened, she would probably slap him across the face and threaten to call the police herself. And Will wanted that. He wanted her to believe him. He wanted her to tell him that what he had done was wrong and that he needed to be punished.

So why wasn't he going to just turn himself in? Because, even though he still knew he needed to be punished, he was still a coward.

Holding his cell phone to his ear, Will waited with baited breath for Shannon to pick up, and those few seconds were painfully long. Now it was classified as 'after school'. The day had been a strange one, and Will couldn't wait for it to be over. Of course with his punishment he was delivering to himself – and that the universe was sentencing him with – it would continue to drag. Shannon would probably in the middle of a pep talk or shouting at whatever squad or team she was coaching. Her schedule was so packed full of sports, Will found it hard to believe she could remember anything else but sports. But then, according to her, it was probably the same for Will; remembering everything to do with music. All the song lyrics and reading different music sheets were foreign to her, just like all the rules and regulations of each different sport were alien to him. It amazed Will just how occupied someone could get when they only focused on one thing. Sadly for him and Rachel they shared now two these that distracted them from other important issues. Where teenagers are told to followed their strengths, they're also told to not let anything else slip them by: to experience everything life had to offer. So why did they both get so wrapped up in what was happening to them at the time of their attack, did they not bother to think ahead and remind themselves of the consequences that could and have happened?

"Hello?"

It was something Will would probably never get his head around.

"Will? Hello?"

He was an adult! A grown man! A man who had experience with sex and the male body. He should have known, he should have told her! She was too scared and too busy focusing on not crying to have realised. He should have realised and should have known. This was why it was his entire fault. This is why he should be punished-

"Will, are you there?"

"Shannon I need you to come over." Sniffling, Will told his friend. Stood in the middle of his apartment living room, his eyes staring at the brickwork of his fire place, Will allowed his eyes to rain with tears: he allowed himself to cry with the feeling of his own self-pity, self-loathing and guilt overflow and consume him. "Will, are you all right? What's wrong? Is this because of Rachel? Has something-" Because Shannon had said her name – the whole school and beyond probably knew what had happened to Rachel now – Will suddenly broke down, falling haphazardly to the floor and gripping onto the couch cushion. "Please Shannon," he begged through a thunderstorm of tears. "Please just come over. I need to talk to someone. I need you to listen and I…I need to talk to you." Bringing his hands to his face, he cried into his palms and let his phone fall to the floor, disconnecting the call. Soon Shannon would come and he would confess everything. But until then, Will just cried. Into his hands, he howled and cried and sobbed.

Each tear was heavy with guilt and sadness. Each tear was a drop containing all his pain. All he could feel was sadness and blame on him; how could he have let this situation happen? How could he have allowed Rachel to get pregnant? How could he not see that something was wrong with Rachel? How could he allow her to miscarry? One of his babies was dead and all he could think was, how could he not prevent it? It was Rachel's baby but his too and yet he just couldn't feel anything for it. All he could think was how it was his fault. He couldn't comfort Rachel in the way she needed to be comforted. Her fathers would be able to but he couldn't. One of his babies was dead and the other, for now it seemed, was alive. Yet he didn't feel anything. All he felt was his own guilt at his wrong doing. What was wrong with him?

Leroy could be right: he could be considered family, but what family had accepted a rapist? What father could serious call him a father too? Not after what he had done. Why did they not hate him? As selfish as it was, which was probably what he was now, just a selfish man, he couldn't stop but wondering why he was being given so many chances. Chances at being…normal? What was it about him that made this situation okay? He could imagine Finn or Puck or Jesse being the ones to get Rachel pregnant and he could imagine Hiram and Leroy being nowhere near as forgiving and friendly towards them. He should have known better! His students that could have done this were teenagers, kids! They would have been forgiven. This incident would be blamed on their hormones or their stupid teenage brains not thinking right. What excuse did Will have? That he was forced to do it? Yeah, he was forced to do it but he still could have said no. He still raped their daughter. So why was he forgiven?

Bringing him out of his wailing crying spout was the sound of his front door buzzing. It was Shannon trying to get into the building. Not bothering to wipe his nose or eyes, Will crawled out of his squatting position and went to lift the phone off the hook and let his friend in. Whilst she was climbing the stairs (or most likely taking the elevator considering she wanted to get to him as quickly as possibly) Will went about making his face somewhat decent and presentable. Yes, he wanted to show Shannon how bad he felt, how remorseful he was and how much he hated himself, but he didn't want to show her he had been crying. He didn't want her to possibly feel sympathy for him too but he also didn't want her to call him out on crying. Shannon wasn't the best person when it came to crying. Her approach was to slap the crier on their shoulder and tell them to 'man up' – even if they were actual a girl. It usually worked with her football players and hockey players but when it came to non-sporting people, they took her approach the wrong way and ended up crying more. But Will wasn't going to cry. He wanted her to shout at him and he wanted her to finally give him that shameful look of disgust that he had been craving.

Moments later came the sound of thumping and Shannon's booming, deep voice sounding through the door. "Will?" She called out, sounding concerned, "Will are you okay? I got here as soon as I could." Taking a deep exhale, Will straightened his shirt and then opened the door. Like a tornado, Shannon rushed in through the front door and wrapped her huge bear like arms around Will and held him close. "Oh God Will I'm so sorry for what's happened," her voice was somewhat muffled and she patted his back hard, sending thuds around the apartment. "The whole school's talking about what happened to Rachel. She's going to be all right, isn't she?" Shannon then broke away from Will and bit down on her lip. Her thick eyebrows furrowed and she held her hands clasped in front of her, waiting for Will to talk. Instead of answering her question, however, Will just sighed again and motioned for Shannon to come and sit down.

Dressed in her tracksuit, Shannon followed Will and sat down on his leather sofa. Will sat next to her and held his head in hands for a moment. The gym class teacher and sporting coach just sat there and watched, taking in her friend's actions. His breaths were shallow and his nose sniffled every now and again, making Shannon nervous and even more concerned. Then, without raising his head, Will began to speak. His voice was scratchy from his previous crying but he didn't care. "Shannon," he began, only speaking again when he felt her move beside him, letting him know that she was listening. "I…I don't quite know how to tell you this or…or where to begin but…" He then sighed heavily again, lifting his head and looking at his best friend. "But I have to tell you something because it's driving me crazy." Shannon then frowned again and clasped her hands together once more, leaning forward in her seat. "Will, is this about Rachel? She is going to be okay, right?" Again she had said her name and Will sniffled once more, biting on the corner of his lip.

Just as he was about to speak, an image of Rachel flashed through his mind. It wasn't the scared, shaking, timid image of her when she was in the ambulance and it wasn't when she was in her bed waiting for a familiar face of comfort. It was a flash of what Rachel looked like when she was with her fathers. Not when she was in the hospital, but when they were all at dinner together two months ago. She always looked so relaxed and happy when she was with her fathers. They adored her and it was clear she loved them both more than anything. In the hospital they of course fussed over her and wanted to make sure she was okay, but Will remembered how they would hug her, kiss her and beam at her like they had been separated for years. It made the corner of Will's mouth twitch up into a small smile. Once the shock of everything that had happened was over, Will was sure that Rachel would be okay. Her fathers wouldn't let anything else happen to her. Physically, Rachel would be okay. Leroy – Doctor Berry – would make sure of that, and emotionally they would both provide her with an immense amount of love.

Turning back to Shannon, focusing on her as he had been lost inside his thoughts, Will nodded his head and said as strongly as he could make his voice (finding it turning to an almost whisper whenever he spoke about Rachel). "Rachel will be okay," he told her, trying to hold back his smile. "She's with her fathers and the doctors will look after her. She'll be okay." Releasing what appeared to be a huge intake of breath, Shannon sighed and wiped her brow and chuckled a little. "Thank goodness!" She exclaimed, slapping her bare thigh with her pal. "I was so worried about her. The school has been rife with rumours, especially when someone said she was bleeding so much…" Will tuned out Shannon slightly; not wanting to hear what the students and teachers were saying about Rachel. Then, he decided to just cut to the chase. He wanted to stop Shannon talking as that this wasn't why he had invited – begged – her over.

Holding his hand up, he abruptly silenced his friend. "What's wrong now, Will?" Shannon asked and she turned in her seat to face him head on. "You said she's going to be okay-"

"She will be," the teacher said, clearing his throat and bobbing his head, "She's going to be okay but…but I'm…I didn't want to talk to you about her. Not directly I mean." He stuttered, frowning at his words. Frowning again and squinting at him to see why he was acting so strangely, Shannon asked; "What do you mean?" Sighing again, which was starting to annoy Shannon a little bit, Will shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. "I really don't know how to tell you…I need to tell you something," He then sniffled and realised that once again he was going to break down crying. "I have to tell you something that happened between me and Rachel but…it's been keeping me up at night and now with Rachel in the hospital-"

"Look, Will, whatever it is you have to tell me, I'm here for you," Shannon shuffled herself closer to Will and took hold of his hand. "I know that you and Rachel are obviously close now because of what happened to you both, so whatever it is you think is important, tell me and I'll try and help you. You're my best friend, Will, and I want to help you."

"I don't know if you can help me," Will sniffled, feeling a tear drop fall from his eye.

"Well I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"That's the thing, Shannon, I don't know how to tell you."

"You have to Will!" Raising her voice, Shannon slapped her thigh again. "Whatever it is you need to tell me, it's clearly bothering you and I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." She then huffed; "Look, whatever it is you have to tell me I'm not going to leave you. Especially in this state. I'll let you cry all you want."

"It's…complicated." Will whimpered pathetically. Shannon shook her head and raised her voice again. "I don't care how 'complicated' it is, Will. You called me over here crying like a little baby and I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

Another trigger word: baby.

A flash went off in his mind again of the baby Rachel was carrying and consequently the baby she had lost. Like every time he thought of a baby or saw a baby, in his mind he was straight back in that doctor's office with Terri and staring at the lie she was presenting him with. When his student was pregnant and had given birth to her baby girl, he tried not to think that she could have been his baby, had his ex-wife's plan worked. Now he was being presented with the chance of having a baby again; the chance of being a father again. But he hated it. He hated it now because of the situation. Now he imagined Rachel and the baby. She was there, in her hospital bed, pregnant and scared because of him. And he had run away like a coward. Like a selfish coward.

Letting out a sob, Will covered his face with his hands and cried out what he had been trying to tell Shannon; what he had wanted to tell someone for such a long time. "Shannon," he began, his shoulders shuddering and his stomach heaving with his heavy cries. "Shannon, I did something awful. I…I've done something to Rachel I've even thought of doing to anyone. I…I feel disgusted and ashamed and I can't stop the guilt. All I feel is guilt. I'm sick with quilt and anger and-"

"Will, stop you're not making any sense!" Shannon told him, removing his hands from his eyes so she could look at him. His entire face was blotchy and red, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Her face softened as she took in his appearance even more. Deep heavy bags were under those red, tired looking eyes and his skin was a lot paler than usual. Or at least, it had been getting paler and paler as the days went on. Pursing her lips and deflating slightly, Shannon spoke to Will in a softer voice; "Will, you need to calm down and just tell me exactly what it is you need to tell me." Beside her, Will sniffled once more and tried to calm himself. He really didn't want to cry, but it appeared to be the only thing he could do.

Reluctantly, he calmed down and swallowed a few deep gulps. Within a few seconds, his future friendship with Shannon would be tested and re-evaluated. Taking one final deep breath, Will looked away from Shannon and gripped his fists tightly together. "Shannon," he sighed, "When Rachel and I spent the night in the closet together…you know we were attacked." Shannon nodded her head, saying that everyone knew they were attacked. "Well, where I was beaten to a pulp, Rachel was left untouched. Practically untouched anyway." His eyes slid over to look at Shannon's face, curious as to see how she would react. However, he hadn't really told her anything yet, so she simply nodded her head again, encouraging him to carry on. "Those guys were…I can't even put a word to what they were. They were disgusting. They frightened Rachel and they wouldn't let her go even though I begged them to let her go. But…but what they made her do. What they made me do to her." For a moment he was lost in his memories. He remembered the night clearly; how the ring leader touched Rachel and tried to kiss her, how he spoke to her. He remembered everything of that night and he wished more than anything it had never happened. "What I had to do to her…what I did to her is something I just can't forgive myself. And now that…now what's happened…I just can't seem to-"

"Will," Shannon stopped him before he lost her again. "What did you do?" Timidly, Will looked up and over at Shannon and saw the confusion but also the fear for what he was about to say written on her face. Biting his lips, he then told her the truth. He confessed to her what he had done. "I raped Rachel and now she's pregnant with my baby."

At the confession, Shannon jumped off the couch and started yelling. There was no break between Will telling her what he did and her getting away from him. Her reaction was how he expected Leroy and Hiram to react. But the difference between his expectation and the reality was that Shannon was just shouting. Her shouts weren't accusatory but they were questioning him; meaning that she also thought he was mistaken. "What do you mean you raped her, Will? That's impossible!"

"It's not impossible-"

"Yes it is, Will! It's completely impossible. You're he teacher! You wouldn't do anything wrong!"

"And yet I have."

"No…No you haven't. You're wrong."

"How can I be wrong? I was there, you weren't."

"I don't…Why would…how?"

"Shannon, please, just say you believe me." Will begged, standing up, still squeezing his fists together. Shaking her head, Shannon asked; "What do you mean 'believe you'?"

"Rachel and her parents don't believe that I raped her."

"What?" Shannon shouted again, moving away from him and throwing her arms in the air. "What do you mean Rachel doesn't believe you? And her parents don't believe you?"

"Rachel thinks that I didn't rape her because she consented and I was forced to do it-"

"Will, you're not making a donkey bit of sense."

"What more sense is there? Those guys were either going to rape her or I was!"

"What? You need to explain more."

"They were going rape Rachel but I wouldn't let them, so they gave Rachel 'the choice'", he told his friend, using air quotations. "They wanted her to pick between who she would rather be raped by and she picked me."

"Hold up Will-"

"It was disgusting, Shannon! She picked me because she knows me! She wanted me to rape her instead of them and I…I did it! I raped my student and now I've gotten her pregnant!" By this point Will was crying hysterically again and Shannon strode over to him, holding him by his shoulders.

With a few shakes, she managed to get him to look at her. "Will, you have not been making any sense. You're saying that they were going to rape her, so you took their place?"

"And Rachel says that this isn't rape because, according to her, she consented to it but that's not consent, Shannon! It's not consent because it was still doing something she didn't want to do. I know she didn't want to do it. She was crying and begged me to stop and…and I raped her Shannon!" Will cried more and more, so Shannon moved him over to the couch again. She wanted to calm him down but only so she could get a fuller picture of what he was talking about. Before she could get him to explain again or to do anything else, he began to speak. "I just feel so guilty." His shoulders sagged and he wiped his eyes again. His sobs were coming to an end and now his anger was beginning to come through more. "I haven't been able to sleep since it happened. Every night I hear her screaming and I see her crying. I can't help but need to know where she is at all times. All this guilt is eating me up inside and what makes it worse is that she doesn't believe me. She doesn't think I did this horrible thing to her." Will shook his head again, groaning at how much his head pounded and how much he just wished again for this whole situation to be nothing more than a nightmare.

For a short few minutes, Shannon was quiet. She was taking everything Will had said in. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe what Will had told her. Forgetting the fact that Will had said he had impregnated Rachel – something she really didn't want to think about – she couldn't believe that Will had actually…possibly raped a student. Sleeping with students was, of course, against the law. Having any type of relationship with a student beyond that clear teacher/student boundary was somewhat frowned up (unless they were your parents or a relative or something like that). Hearing her best friend and colleague say what he had done was…horrible. But what didn't make any sense was what he also said; that Rachel believed she had consented. Listening to Will and understanding the circumstance, she could see both sides. To some degree. Her head was spinning and she had only just been told of what had happened. Looking at Will, she could see now why he was so tired. When she went to bed that night, or even when she left his apartment, she didn't think she would be able to think right either. Her first thought was 'poor Will' and the second was 'poor Rachel'. To not only of being held somewhat hostage, being beaten and now being told that sexual violence was involved…she couldn't believe the police hadn't picked up on it. But, then she didn't want to think of the police right then.

Smacking her lips together, Shannon put her hand on Will's thigh, trying to be comforting. "I don't think you raped her, Will." Softly she told him, hoping to ease his worries. However, her simple statement backfired. Will snapped his head to side to look at her; his eyes dark and frowning at her. "What? Have you not been listening-" But she didn't let him continue. She knew that right now, whether or not he did it was not the point. Right now, all she cared about was her friend's wellbeing. "You need to talk to someone about this Will," Using a stern voice she told him. "You need to do something to get rid of this guilt and this anxiety. You need to-"

"What?" Will yelled, his anger getting the better of him. He threw her hand off his thigh and glared at her. "What Shannon? What could I possibly do to make this better? To get rid of my guilt? Because I've already told her frigging fathers! We confessed to them, and they don't think I raped her but I did! I impregnated their daughter through rape. I mean it's bad enough but I raped her-"

"Will if they don't think you did then maybe you didn't?" Shannon shouted back, trying to keep calm but ultimately failing. Will shook his head and smacked his own thighs in frustration. "This isn't a matter of opinion, this is matter of fact!"

"Then maybe to clear your conscious you need to turn yourself in."

There it was. There was the one thing he had wanted to hear all along. Beside her, Will deflated slightly but he kept his strong voice and posture. "You think I should?" He asked, more like a statement than a question. Shannon held his stare for as long as possible, but ultimately she lost the game. She broke eye contact and shrugged. She didn't want him to turn himself in, but just like going to a priest to confess for a sinner, maybe going to the police and confessing to them what he thought he had done would be good for Will. "I don't know," She shrugged with all the honesty she could muster up. "I…I don't think I want you to in case they lock you up but-"

"But maybe I deserve it."

"I don't think you do," Shannon told him. She then shifted so she was facing him straight on again. She wanted his full attention. "Will, you were forced to rape her. In fact no, you were forced to have sex with her. Like you said, she was forced to pick. You are both innocent in this, it's them who are the guilty ones. Not you and her."

"But I-"

"I know," She boomed, trying to silence him before he explained the whole thing all over again. "I know that you think you did it and that she didn't have a choice but Will, you didn't rape her. I'm sure you didn't." Shannon stared at him, watching as all the cogs and wheels went around his brain. He thinking yet again of all the consequences and how everything could turn out if he turned himself in.

Sighing once more, Will stood up and paced his living room. "I can't just keep wallowing like this," He told her, not looking at her. It felt more like he was talking to himself than to Shannon but she didn't mind. She was simply there as a release. "I need answers." He announced in a strong whisper but loud enough for her to hear, even with his back turned to her. "What do you mean?" Shannon asked, somewhat timidly, afraid of the answer he was about to give her. She stood up and walked near to him. Slowly, Will turned around and looked at her like a defeated man. "I need to turn myself in. I need this nightmare to be over."

"You need help." Shannon told him, in the voice of a typical television therapist; dramatic but to the point. Will yelled at her; "I need to be punished!" And Shannon yelled back, hoping to get some sense into him; "You need compassion and help, Will! Something the police aren't going to give you if you walk up to them and confess to something that might not even be rape!"

"I need to do something. I need to make this guilt and pain go away. But I need Rachel to be okay. She's having my baby…God…this is so messed up." Will whined, going back to plop himself back on his couch. His head rolled back and his hands rubbed at his red, sore, tired eyes. For a moment, Shannon watched as he tried to calm himself down.

Once she saw that his chest wasn't rising and falling quite so fast, she approached him slowly and sat down, telling him; "It'll all be okay." To which Will gave a dry chuckle, clearly not believing her at all. His head rolled to the side and he looked at her. With squinting eyes, shrugged his shoulders and meekly asked; "How do you know?" Next to him, Shannon made him sit up so that he could see her and focus on her properly. "I don't," She told him, her southern accent ringing loud and clearly through the apartment once more. "But listen to me," Her pointer finger jabbed him hard in the shoulder and she enunciated each word. "If you turn yourself in, then who knows what'll happen."

"Maybe that's a good thing," He sighed, leaning forward slightly, "Because right now I still don't know what'll happen. I'm in limbo here, Shannon. I don't know what's going to happen to me and I don't know what's going to happen to Rachel. As for the baby-"

"Look, whatever does happen I'll be here for you," Shannon told him, this time patting his shoulder and rubbing the back of his neck. Under her fingertips she felt all the strain and the stress. He was knotted and tangled more than the entire football team's shoelaces put together. Will smiled pitifully at Shannon as she attempted to get rid of his stress induced knots.

There was nothing he could say. Instead he just let her try and get the knots out and he allowed his thoughts to wander back to the young woman back in the hospital. He pictured her sad little face and imagined her holding her stomach. He hoped she was sleeping but he doubted she was. At least not peacefully. He knew her fathers weren't going to leave her side and then he felt even more ashamed. He had left her even though he had promised her he wouldn't. Once again he had broken his promise to her and he realised what a coward he truly was. Once more, his guilt was amplified and more knots began to form.