The library's familiar, like she's been here before, even though Kelsa knows that can't be true. The shelves are a rich mahogany, each filled with cherry-leather books, every one lettered in stamped gold. She even recognises the script on some of them; there's Latin and Greek, at least three kinds of cuneiform, even Egyptian hieroglyphics...along with swirled runes from other planets, that she somehow knows fell out of use a thousand years before humanity discovered the prothean ruins on Mars. The floor's covered by a thick crimson carpet that doesn't make a single whisper as she walks over it, and there isn't a single mote of dust in the air to catch the warm, honey-coloured light that's breathing out of every surface.

She could stay in this place forever, even though she doesn't belong here; this room's never seen any hint of war, except the kind that comes in books. There's been no death here, no violence...and even though the carpet would hide the stains perfectly, there hasn't been a single drop of blood spilt on it. You think you will change that, the walls whisper, and Kelsa jerks around for the source of the sound...but there's nothing, just an empty table. There is fire in you, comes the whisper from behind her. Fire and blood.

Kelsa turns again, and she catches sight of a shadow flickering at the end of an aisle. She's running in a blink, as hard and fast as she can, but it takes forever for her feet to touch the carpet, and for every step she takes, the back wall gets three yards further away.

You pretend you are Kurinth made flesh, the walls taunt her, with a little snicker. If you can run fast enough and shoot straight enough, you might be able to hunt him down.

She doesn't know what the fuck a Kurinth is, but this voice is starting to piss her off. He's dead, she snarls, only halfway down the row. But at least he's not alone.

Yes, the books answer her. Simply the first of eight hundred and twenty-four souls you have ended, in fire and blood.

No matter how hard she runs, Kelsa can't make it any closer to the wall. I'll show you fire, she promises that voice. Just like the place itself, the whisper is familiar and foreign, all at once. I'll show you blood.

Another snicker, playful. Not in this place, Kurinth, the walls tell her. Here there will be peace.

And where the fuck is here? Kelsa shouts, or she tries to, but she's too winded to catch a proper breath. Where are we? She has to slow down, but she can't stop. She can't give up.

This is the cultural archive of all peoples of the Universe, comes the whisper. Your people might call it the Library of Akasha, though there are other terms humans use.

I don't have any people, Kelsa pants. Just my crew. Her boots stick to the floor and she stumbles, landing hard on one knee, hard enough to shatter steel. She bites down on her tongue and tastes copper, and it's nearly enough to turn her stomach.

You'll have to learn how to surrender sooner or later, Kelsa, the walls tell her. Fire and blood are not the best of you, much less the whole. You must let go.

Kelsa has to catch herself with her hands before she falls on her face, but the harder she bears up against the floor, the stronger the gravity gets, almost like the mass effect field's a Chinese finger trap. No, she growls, forcing her head up higher. I...can't.

The wall's so close, close enough for her to reach out and touch, but Kelsa can't move one hand unless she wants her other arm to snap into at least three pieces. A shadow rises up from the wall's depths, formless, but it slowly resolves into the shape of a woman...an asari woman. I know you can, Kelsa, the shadow says. Just not tonight. Then the shadow spreads until it fills Kelsa's vision, and the floor rushes up to meet her jaw.

Captain's Cabin, SSV Normandy

0200 Zulu

26 May 2183

Sublight Transit to Mass Relay, Attican Beta Cluster

Kelsa's finger hovers over the send button on her console; she's given a verbal report to the Council about the clusterfuck that Feros turned into, but she feels the need to write an after-action report for Alliance Command; she hasn't killed so many human beings since she joined up, and she figures they deserve to know the reasons why. The report was written an hour after they picked up Williams and bugged out, but Kelsa hasn't sent the damned thing for three fucking days. She hasn't sent it because it doesn't mention that T'Soni killed Martinez...that T'Soni saved Kelsa's life. She shouldn't have had to do that; Kelsa should've been faster. Stronger. Better. But she wasn't, and it doesn't feel right pretending that she was. And yet something holds her back from blaming the asari for a human's death, even if that human was about to kill Kelsa. What did you expect, she growls to herself, not for the first time. I expected her to kill me, Kelsa thinks, and she's not entirely sure which her she means, just like the last dozen times she's answered her own question.

A polite tap sounds from the door, but it might have been cannonfire for the surprised jolt that licks down Kelsa's arm. The electronic ping of the message being sent is louder than the second knock, and Kelsa swallows hard, burying the sudden rush of nerves from having the decision made for her. She shuts off her console and turns to face the door, her hands crossed at the small of her back. "Come in."

It's not really a surprise when T'Soni steps through the door, looking tentative, uncertain. "Could we speak for a moment, Shepard?"

The commander heaves a sigh. "You wanna talk about yesterday." They melded for the second time, after Chakwas cleaned up Kelsa's wounds. The soldier's tried not to think about it since then, without too much success, and she can tell by T'Soni's expression that the asari's been troubled by the experience as well. "So talk."

T'Soni steps more fully into the cabin, sidling away from the doorway just like Kelsa taught her down on Feros. "I'm still not sure what to make of what we saw," she says. "Those creatures…"

"Wiped out the protheans," Kelsa supplies, grimacing. "City by city, planet by planet, system by system."

T'Soni shudders. "I've spent my life trying to discover the fall of the protheans," she says. "To have my most frightening conjectures confirmed so vividly...it's too much to take in."

"I'm the one who almost got my brains fucked by the beacon," Kelsa says, her lips twisting into a smirk. "But at least I didn't punch you when you fucked them, this time."

T'Soni's freckles stand starker on her cheeks as some of the blue drains from her face. "Yes, well," she breathes, "I appreciate that, Shepard." The asari looks away, and she even hides a small smile before her face falls again. "Now that you've got the Cipher and we pieced together more of the beacon's message, I believe that your mind contains more information about the protheans than I've been able to accumulate over five decades of scrounging through the dirt. Under different circumstances..."

Kelsa grunts a laugh. "You sound like you wanna study me, doc."

"No," T'Soni says, shaking her head. "I just meant that you would be a fascinating subject…" Her cheeks flush, now, and the asari's smile turns nervous. "I'm sorry; I'm used to spending all of my time in virtual isolation. I'm not really very good at dealing with other people."

"You're pretty good at killing them when you get the chance," Kelsa points out, a sliver of sincere admiration in her tone. The asari must not be able to hear it, because she looks like she's going to argue, but Kelsa keeps talking before the other woman gets the chance. "Why'd you take the shot?"

T'Soni's objection dies in her throat, and her brow-ridges draw together. "Because she would have killed you," the asari breathes. "I didn't want to shoot her, especially since her actions weren't her own...but I had to make a choice." The uncertainty smooths out of T'Soni's voice as she speaks. "And now that we've seen what the galaxy might have in store for us, I have no regrets."

Something twists in Kelsa's gut...something suspiciously like gratitude. "Thanks," she gruffs, glancing away from another one of those little blue smiles. "You don't…" The soldier was going to say You don't have to go ashore next time, but her throat catches on the words. "You did well down there," she amends, giving T'Soni a little nod. "Looks like you weren't lying about that combat training. I think Alenko could take a few lessons from you."

Mention of the human biotic causes a twitch in the asari's expression, though the smile doesn't quite drop. "I believe the lieutenant acquits himself more than adequately, from what I recall on Therum," she says. "...And I get the impression that he would much rather take private instruction from you than from I, Commander."

Kelsa frowns. Maybe if he was a vanguard, she nearly says, before a stray thought crosses her mind. "What do you mean by that, T'Soni?"

T'Soni swallows and blinks. "I just…I have often seen you speaking in confidence with Lieutenant Alenko, and I assumed…"

"You assumed we were fucking," Kelsa finishes, and the idea pulls a low, rough laugh from her throat, still sore from her screams on Feros. "We're not," she says, in case it needs saying. "And there's not enough whiskey in the galaxy that'll get us to start." The soldier chuckles again, shaking her head. "Guys don't really do it for me, T'Soni."

The asari looks a bit embarrassed for a second, but then curiosity leaches into her features. "I never did ask how you became familiar with the melding ritual," she muses. "I must admit that I have wondered, Shepard."

Kelsa notices it's not exactly a question, but she wonders how T'Soni'll handle the answer. "A few years back, I spent a couple days of shore leave on Illium with a roommate of mine," the soldier explains. "We met an asari who gave us four or five practical demonstrations before we all passed out." The memory's enough to tip the corners of Kelsa's mouth upward and put a little tingle on the tip of her tongue. That little smirk blooms over half of Kelsa's face at the navy that flushes across the asari's cheeks and down her throat.

"I see," T'Soni breathes. "That certainly explains it." Kelsa thinks she sees a flash of envy in the other woman's eyes, just for a second, before she speaks again. "So you and this bunkmate were...lovers?"

A shiver crawls up Kelsa's spine. "We fucked for awhile," she affirms. "Her name's Siobhan, and last I heard, she made N7 about a year ago."

"And did you ever threaten to kill her?" T'Soni asks, before she thinks better of it, and all that colour drains out of her face. "I'm sorry, Shepard," she clips, her eyes widening in shock, and maybe a little bit of fear. "I didn't mean-"

"It's fine," Kelsa grunts, amused and annoyed that she's not surprised by the question. "As a matter of fact, I tried choking out Shiv the first time I looked at her," she allows, feeling a bit sheepish.

Shock gives way to a more considered surprise. "Really?" T'Soni breathes, arching a brow. "Why?"

Kelsa can't even remember. "Doesn't matter," she says, with a little shrug. "She was an Alliance soldier, and I was just a year out of basic training, so she fought me off." The commander's not sure the conclusion would be any different today, but there'd certainly be more blood involved. "A few days later we had an argument that turned physical again...but that time it ended in a tie." The tingle isn't just at the tip of Kelsa's tongue anymore as she remembers a few rematches, and it's been a little too long since she's had someone else scratch that particular itch...but she notices T'Soni's face darken oddly. "You disappointed?" She gruffs. "You know I'm not invincible."

"What?" T'Soni appears at a loss, but she gathers her wits after a few heartbeats. "That's not it. I was just...reflecting...upon how our relationship began," she admits.

Kelsa finally breaks her parade rest and rolls her shoulders, turning to the wall beside her, which holds a pull-up bar near the ceiling. Thoughts about Siobhan and a few encounters afterward have given the soldier a certain kind of energy that she needs to work off if she wants to be able to keep talking. "When I had to decide whether or not to leave your corpse in the middle of a collapsing mine," Kelsa recalls, before leaping to grip the bar and dragging herself up the wall.

"Indeed," the asari says, awkwardly. "Now I've begun to wonder how things between us might have developed differently if I had been less pliable during that first encounter."

Kelsa's glad that T'Soni didn't take the sudden turn as a dismissal, but the soldier doesn't spare the asari's feelings, even so. "Then you'd be dead," she says through her teeth, in between reps on the bar. "And I would've probably died on Feros," she points out, before another thought strikes her. "Why...what do you think might have been different about you and me, T'Soni?"

The soldier drags herself up the wall three times before T'Soni answers. "I do not believe I have ever met anyone quite like you, Shepard," she says. "You pursue your goals with an indomitable will, over and above other humans that I have observed. It can be...intimidating."

"Good," Kelsa grunts. Her shoulder's still sore from the bullet Chakwas dug out of it, but she pushes through the pain. "Arterius is gonna feel the same way, just before I kill him."

A breathless laugh rasps from behind her. "That is a fine illustration of my point," T'Soni tells the commander. "There is a reason that the Council chose you as the first human Spectre," she goes on. "They saw something special in you...the best of what humanity has to offer." Kelsa just grunts again, too focused to tell the asari she's full of shit. Eventually T'Soni speaks up again. "Before we melded again, I looked into your history. I know what you did on Torfan...it was a remarkable display of tenacity and determination."

Kelsa grits her teeth, letting out a steady breath on an upswing and drawing another lungful of air as she lowers herself. "Thanks," she gruffs. "For not making me explain all that to you." She's worked any annoyance she might feel at the asari's snooping around out of her system a long time ago, occasionally on a mouthy civilian's face or arm.

"I wanted to know more about you," T'Soni explains, almost apologetically. "To understand what made you into the woman you are. There is..." And here she takes a breath, loud enough for Kelsa to hear over her own heartbeat. "...There's something compelling you, Shepard," she admits.

The soldier redoubles her grip on the bar. Ninety-seven. "You sure it's me that's got you curious," she growls. Ninety-eight. "Or is it what the beacon's..."-Ninety-nine-"...done to my head?"

"I admit," T'Soni says, "your connection to the protheans had something to do with my initial interest...but it has grown beyond that." Kelsa feels heavier than she should, halfway up her hundredth pull-up, and she has to grit her teeth to keep from slipping as the asari gathers her courage to speak again. "You intrigue me, Shepard...but I did not know if it would be appropriate to act on my feelings."

Kelsa's chin can't quite clear the bar, so she doesn't count off one hundred in her head. Instead, the soldier hears a wispy shadow-voice tell her to Let go. "No," she grunts under her breath, but at the bottom of the rep, sweat and sore muscles steal her grip off of the rod, and the soldier falls into a crouch. When Kelsa straightens out and turns, she sees on T'Soni's face that the asari heard that little grunt. "I intrigue you, huh?" She asks, to keep the other woman talking.

T'Soni's frown falters. "Yes," she sighs, her head tilting forward. "I was not going to say anything, for I sensed a certain type of connection between you and Lieutenant Alenko, but it appears I was incorrect." She blushes again and can't quite meet Kelsa's eyes. "I apologise, Commander Shepard," the asari says, her lips tipping into a bittersweet smile. "I imagined it would be brave of me to come to you, but I see now that it was just foolish…"

"I had a gun to your head and a knife at your neck the minute I got close enough to spit on you," Kelsa says, "and since then you've seen how good I am at using both. But you still came to see me," she points out. "Even though you're an alien on an Alliance ship; even though I'm a Spectre, hunting somebody your mother's working with, and I'm probably gonna kill both of 'em unless they kill me first." The soldier shakes her head, smirking. "Whatever else you wanna call it, that's brave, T'Soni."

"...Really?" The asari swallows, standing a little taller. "But...what about us, Shepard? Is there a mutual attraction...or was I wrong about that, too?"

Kelsa's brow tenses, and she glances from T'Soni to the wall behind her, where the asari's shadow exists as a smear under the cabin's dim lights. A twitch of pain crosses the soldier's shoulders, even though she only did half her normal set on the bar; she hasn't done so few pull-ups at once since her last rotation in the 3X zone, back in HEAT, on Titan. Shaking her head, the soldier looks at T'Soni again, really looks at her...not as a threat, or a spy, but as a person. A woman. "You've been in my head an awful lot lately, doc," she admits. Too much.

Relief breaks over T'Soni's face like the dawn of a blue giant star. "I knew it," she says, taking Kelsa's comment for confirmation. "I knew you felt it, too…" Then her head tilts, curious. "But...why do I feel so close to you?"

"Stockholm syndrome," Kelsa suggests, with a grunted laugh.

The asari blinks. "What?"

"...Nevermind," the soldier snickers, rolling her eyes. "Bad joke."

"Very well," T'Soni allows, still confused. "We've only known one another other a short time," she goes on. "We have so little in common...it makes no sense that I should feel this way."

"We've got at least one thing in common," Kelsa points out, and her face sets when T'Soni gives her an expectant look. "We both know what's coming for us if we don't stop Saren Arterius and Benezia." And we both want to stop them, Kelsa doesn't say, even though she knows that's true, too; the meld from the day before gave the soldier a glimpse into the asari's mind. It was just for a second, right after they finally understood a part of the beacon's visions, but Kelsa saw enough to tell her that T'Soni isn't a spy.

T'Soni nods, and Kelsa feels a pang of regret for the shadow that crosses the asari's features. "Listen to me, stumbling in the water while a skald fish waits underfoot." She shakes her head. "I'm sure you have many more important things to do than indulge my delusions, Shepard."

Kelsa feels a chill on her neck, but not from the sweat drying on her skin. "People've been trying to kill me since you were eighty-four years old, Blueblood," she tells the other woman, unwilling to see her turn away. "If I let that keep me from having any fun, I'd have died of boredom a long time ago."

The asari manages to look impressed and shocked at the same time. "You make it all sound so...dangerous," she sighs.

"A little danger makes things exciting," Kelsa says, taking a half-step forward. Her plan to burn up her energy on the exercise bar didn't quite work out like she hoped it would, and that chill on her neck crawls across down her shoulder blades, making her shiver. "And I've seen you move in a firefight, T'Soni," she husks, almost a laugh. "You don't seem too shy of danger when it counts."

The commander stops short when the taller woman takes a matching half-step back, until the wall stops her. "This is all a bit overwhelming," the asari says. "I am not used to...this." She swallows. "You. I...need some time."

Kelsa's brow shoots up, but she doesn't get a centimetre closer. "I wasn't the one who brought this up," she tells the asari, crossing her arms over her ribcage.

"I know," T'Soni answers her, with an apologetic tilt of her lips. "I'm sorry...but I did not think it would get so…" Intriguing? Kelsa almost asks, but she holds her tongue as the asari gathers her thoughts. "...let's just talk about something else, shall we?"

The soldier nods and opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Moreau's voice cuts in over the comm. "Message from Admiral Hackett, Commander," the pilot reports. "Says it's pretty important."

Kelsa snorts, the tingles down her back fading. "You should go," she says, and T'Soni nods, turning. "But we'll talk again," the soldier offers. "If you want."

"I...think I would like that, Shepard," T'Soni tells her, before she retreats sideways through the doorway.

I think I would, too. Kelsa blinks and shakes her head, clearing it, before she lifts her face toward the ceiling. "Patch the admiral through, Lieutenant."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," Moreau grunts, and a heartbeat later the static changes its quality.

"Commander Shepard," comes the voice of Admiral Hackett, from half a galaxy away. "I've just read your report on Zhu's Hope."

The soldier stands at attention, even though the man can't see her; some habits go too deep. "It's accurate, sir," she says, her stomach twisting. She probably wouldn't've been able to lie to Anderson like that. "What's your take?"

"My take is that ExoGeni Corporation has a hell of a lot of explaining to do," Hackett gruffs. "I'm drawing up some Articles of Inquiry to sound out some of their business practices...they may think they're above the law, but Feros is in Alliance space, and the Alliance chartered that colony."

"That's good to hear, Admiral," Kelsa sounds off, encouraged that he hasn't started chewing her out. That doesn't mean he won't, but it's a good sign. "Are the Baynhams cooperating with the Alliance ground team that took over when the Normandy bugged out?"

"As far as we can tell," Hackett confirms. "There are also a couple of colonists that survived the sweep through to the thorian creature," he tells her. "We're keeping them under observation to see what we can do for them, but ExoGeni won't get their hands on them. You can count on that."

Kelsa takes a bit of solace in that, but she doesn't need him to hide her bloodshed behind a silver tongue. "They were lucky they didn't get in my way," she supplies. "Glad to hear I didn't kill the others for nothing."

"I'll make sure of it," Hackett swears, after a couple of seconds. "But that wasn't the main reason for this call, Shepard," he goes on. "We've been getting some troubling reports that I think you should to take a look at."

The soldier frowns, considering. It's not an order, precisely, but an Alliance Marine doesn't shrug off an admiral's suggestions lightly. "I'll look into it, sir," she grunts. "Just tell me what I need to know."

Author's note: Thanks so much to clafount for all of her wonderful beta-reading, as well as to all of my lovely reviewers! Love you guys!