A/N: Sorry for not updating for the last few months. I was working on my newest story until my laptop got hit with a virus. Until then I have to use my brother's micro notebook. Anyway... Burnie owns RVB, I don't.
In the middle of the canyon, Tucker materalized out of the teleporter. His armor was charred black and smoking slightly. "Are you okay, Tucker?" Church, the ghostly leader of Blue Team, asked his teammate.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Tucker said as he limped up a slight hill to face Blue Base. "Come on, Caboose!" He yelled to the blue dot on roof of the base.
"Does it hurt?" Caboose yelled back.
"No, not at all!" Tucker answered, trying to keep a straight face.
"Okay! Here I come!" Caboose said, jumping into the greenish energy of the teleporter.
"Does it hurt for real?" Caboose asked.
"Ohh, yeah. Big time." Tucker said, laughing.
They both turn back to the teleporter exit just in time for Caboose to appear, his armor blackened and smoking slightly. "Owwwchie." he cried. As the pain passed he turned to face Tucker. "You lied to me." he moped.
Over at Red Base, Sarge was scanning the canyon. Suddenly he called out. "Ah dammit. Lopez, c'mere. Do you see something out there?" He asked the brown soldier. Lopez scanned the canyon with a sniper rifle, turned to Sarge, and lowered his head.
Meanwhile, inside the base, Simmons and Grif were having another argument. "There's no L in it, it's pronounced both."
Simmons said.
"That's what I'm saying. Bolth." Grif told the maroon Spartan.
"Both." Simmons repeated.
"You sound like such an ass the way you say it." Grif replied. Tex shook her head, woundering if it was legal for her to cause brain damage to them when she escaped from her cell.
Suddenly Grif's comm's chimed. He answered and nearly had his eardrum ruptured. "Grif! Quit your yammering and get your keister up here. Need some help. Got more of them Special Ops fellas headed toward the base." Sarge bellowed.
"As in... more than one? Uh, maybe we should bolth go, sir." Grif asked, a quiver of fear clear in his voice.
"BOTH." Simmons told him.
"Seriously, man, like an ass." Grif griped.
"Well, well. Another brillian idea from the think tank. Why don't you both come up? Leave the prisoner alone. We could just put her on the honor system - have her guard herself." Sarge told him, his voice laced with sarcasm.
"Good point, sir." Grif admitted.
"YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS! Now get your ass up here. We got just enough time for me to spray paint the bull's-eye on your back... Ah, by bull's-eye I of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake." Sarge ordered him.
"Yeah..." Grif sighed. "I'll be right up."
Over on a nearby ledge, Church was sweeping the Red's base with his sniper rifle. "Hey, Tucker. Come in, man. You there? This is Church." Church said over the Comms. "It's working. The orange one is coming out of the base. I repeat, the orange one is coming outof the base."
Meanwhile, behind a rock infront of Red Base, Tucker and Caboose were listening to Church over the radio. "Roger that." Tucker confirmed.
"Oh, oh oh oh, Tucker, Tucker,Tucker! Is that... Is that Church?" Caboose asked.
"Okay, now just keep moving around outside of the base, and draw their attention." Church tried to tell them.
But Caboose was drowning him out. "Tell him, that I... that I said... for me to say hi...?" he told Tucker.
"Whoa, wat, wait, hey. What? I missed that, Caboose was talking to me." Tucker informed Church. He then turned and faced Caboose. "Shut up man, I'm on the radio." he told his dumbest teammate.
Back over on the ledge, Church tried to repeat what he had just said. "I said, just keep movin-" he started to say.
Suddenly, Tucker came in blaring over the radio. "I'm not yelling, I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church. ...No, I'll tell him you said 'hi' later. No, you can't talk to him. How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?" he told Caboose.
Church shook his head, severing the connection. "Oh my god. I can't believe I actually died for this war." he moaned as he shouldered his rifle and climbed off the ledge.
On top of Red Base, Grif was looking through the sniper rifle as the bull's-eye dried on his back. At first he couldn't see anything, except for a brief glimpse of what looked like the Blue's dead leader. he shook his head rapidly to clear it. "I don't see any-" he started to say, but he then saw Caboose running across the Gulch. "Uh oh. Yep, there's one." he told Sarge. Suddenly he scratched his head in confusion as Caboose stopped right beside a rock and started to stare right at it. "...Why is he just standing there?"he muttered to himself.
Behind another rock, Tucker called out to Caboose. "Caboose, get behind the rock. They can still see you."
"They can't see me. I can't see them!" Caboose yelled back.
"That's because you're facing the rock." Tucker told him, his face hidden in his hand.
Caboose face the base and scurries behind the rock. "Oh. Right." he said to Tucker.
"Real smooth, dipshit." Tucker hollered.
Sarge was watching this with an uneasy look on his face."They're definitely Special Ops. I ain't seen troop movements this coordinated since my days on Sidew- Hgee-ka-gerger!" he said as Church possessed his body.
Grif turned and looked at Sarge, concerned. "Sir, are you okay?" he asked.
"Uh, who you talking to, Red? Me?" Church asked.
"No. I'm talking to lopez. Because, you know, that's real rewarding." Grif said sarcastically. Lopez casually took a swing at Grif, who stepped back out of range. "Hey, what'd I tell you about that?" Grif asked Lopez, pointing a finger in the brown Spartan.
"Oh, uh I-I'm fine, that's... I'm just so mad about, these uh, god damn Blues out here. They got me so god damn mad, I could spit!" Church said, fumbling to cover his mistake. He was so caught up in the movement he horked up half-a-lung and spit into the inside of Sarge's helmet.
"... Um, sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet?" Grif asked Church.
"Uh, yeah. I guess I did." Church said.
"Permission to speak freely, sir?" Grif asked.
"Go ahead." Church said with a nod.
"That was really fucking gross." Grif told his possessed leader.
Down in the Gulch, Caboosewas was crouching behind his boulder. "Hey, Tucker?" he asked his teammate.
"What?" Tucker yelled back.
"I'm having a really good time... with... you." Caboose told him.
"That's great, Caboose." Tucker told him, very annoyed.
"Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers." Caboose informed him.
"Would you please go hide behind another rock?" asked Tucker.
Meanwhile Church ran down to where Simmons guarded Tex. "Hey, man. What's up, yo?" Church asked the maroon soldier.
"Uh... hey...? What's going out there, sir?" Simmons asked, wondering why his C.O. was trying to talk like a city boy from the 21st century.
"What's, uh... why nothin'. Why would you ask if somethin's wrong?" Church asked, trying to get past Simmons to Tex.
"I think that's a perfectly normal question in a time of war." Simmons answered.
"Yeah, well, I don't know. You're starting to act kinda suspicious there... other Red guy. So I'ma keep my eye on you." Church told Simmons.
Simmons turned away from Church and toward Tex. "Sarge, I'm starting to think that-" Simmons started to say before Church's armored fist crashed into the back of his head. "Ow, geez, the back of my head!" he said as he slid into darkness and to the floor.
"What the hell are you doing!" Tex yelled as Church unlocked her cell.
"Tex! It's me, Church! I've come to rescue you." Church said with Sarge's voice.
"You're kind of short to be Church." Tex said as she slinked from her prison.
"What?"Churched asked in surprise until he looked down. "Oh yeah, right. The armor." he said, slapping himself in the face.
He then stepped out of Sarge. "Hurk! What in Sam Hell? Where the- Who spit on my visor?" he asked in confusion. He pulled off the helmet and began to wash it out.
"Tex, there's not much time to explain, so I'm just gonna give you the summary here, okay? I'm a spirit now, and I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this Red guy so that I could sneak in to the base and rescue you while the rest of our guys run around out in the middle of the canyon dressed in black armor that they got from going through the teleporter." Church said without pausing to breathe.
"... Okay." Tex said simply.
"What?" Church said in surprise. "That's it? Okay? You're not surprised by any of this?"
"No. It pretty much all makes sense." Tex said.
"Not even the whole 'Church is a ghost' thing? That didn't do anything for ya?" Church said, partially floating down into the ground.
"I can see right through you, it's pretty obvious..." she started to explain.
"Okay, well, let me hop back in this guy, and we'll get outta here." Church said.
Sarge just had slipped his helmet back on when Church slid back into his body. "Huuurk!" he cried as his will was surpressed.
Back out side Caboose was watching as Church and Tex emerged from the base. "What're you doing?" Tucker asked the Blue Spartan.
"One of the Reds has Tex. I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for killing him, and we will be friends." Caboose explained.
"Oh, come on. you don't actually believe any of that, do you?" Tucker asked.
"Ohhh, we're gonna be best friends." Caboose said, lost in his own little world. He quickly setteled the recticle on Church's red helmet.
Church peered around the outcropping they were hiding behind. He looked at Tex and said "Alright, I'll make one more distraction, then you run up to the teleporter and escape. Ready? One... Two... Three!". He leapt out, right into the path of Caboose's sniper round. The round carrened into the side of Sarge's head and his body slummped to the ground, bright red blood already pooling. "What the? Where did my body go?" he asked. He looked out and saw Caboose holding the smoking rifle. "Oh, you've gotta be KIDDING me!" He shouted in absolute rage. Caboose winced as he saw his mistake.
As the air around Church turned a vivid shade of blue from his swearing, Caboose yelled out "Tucker did it!" as he shoved the rifle into his comrade's hands.