And now that we are back to Addison the reviews might pick up again. At least that is my hope. I am shamelessly begging for comments because for me, the whole point of posting is for comments. So, please say something. It doesn't have to be a long or elaborate comment. Anything you want to say is appreciated by me.

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Chapter 14

"Hey, how are you doing?" Miranda strolled into Addison's room.

Addison shrugged. "Fine."

"Your lunch is still untouched. You're not eating. You have to eat."

"I will. Just as soon as I'm in someplace with better food. This stuff is vile and worse than the cafeteria food. I thought we were supposed to try and help people get better, not kill them."

"Hardy, har, har. Not a good enough joke. But nice try. Do you want me to extend your stay?"

"You don't have the authority to do that."

"Want to bet?"

"Not really, no. O.K. Fine. I'll eat."

"Good. Your stay is already going to be long enough without my having to extend it for any reason."

Addison groaned but she started to eat because while Richard Webber may be the chief, it was Miranda Bailey who really ran the hospital. Everyone knew that.

"Seriously, how are you?"

Addison sighed. "Tired. Tired of everything. I could have died but I didn't. That gives you clarity, all right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I made one mistake and I don't deserve to suffer for the rest of my life because of it. I don't deserve Derek torturing me by keeping me in this endless limbo. He's not in love with me anymore so he should just sign the papers and let me go. Then I can go back to New York and get on with my life. But no. That would be too easy. I haven't suffered enough yet for the great Derek Shepherd."

"You want to go back to New York?"

Addison nodded. "I have friends there, a life, and a wonderful job. It was a great life and even without Derek it'll still be great. Less great, granted but still pretty great. I don't deserve to lose it all. He's not worth it.

I know he saved my life and I'm grateful because I really didn't want to die. But that doesn't make him love me the way I love him. It still doesn't give him the right to treat me the way he has. I need to get on with my life, Miranda. I do have one and I do deserve one."

"You should talk to him?"

"Why? What for? What would be the point? So I can hear, yet again, about how much he loves Meredith Grey. Thanks, but no thanks. I can't go through that yet again. I've been too much of a masochist lately. But I'm not that much of one that I'm willing to keep going through this for the rest of my life. As soon as I'm clear to be out of here, then I'm gone. Is that clear?"

"O.K. Yes. But I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too but you can come visit me in New York."

"I can't afford to fly across the country any old time I want, you know."

"Hey, are you forgetting I'm rich. Well, I am, you know. And I intend to do more living for myself and less for my job, from now on. I'll fly you to New York and show off my city. Or I'll even fly you someplace else. Anywhere you want to go. Got a dream destination in mind? No problem. I'll even join you. We'll both travel the world together."

"Thanks but I couldn't."

"Yes, you can. I've got more money than I know what to do with. It would give me great pleasure to make one of my few friends in Seattle happy. I'm not trying to show off my money or anything like that."

"God, Addison, I know that. That's not who you are. But all right already. I'll go. I'll go. It'll probably be fun."

"It will be." Addison finished her lunch. "There are you happy now."

"Yes, I am. Isn't it great?" Miranda turned to go, already scheming how to keep Addison in the hospital longer.