Updaaate~!
Unvarnished Reality
Shizuo couldn't sleep. He ended up tossing and turning for hours, thinking about what Izaya had told him. That coat...it had belonged to Izaya's first love. And Shizuo had ruined it.
Finally, Shizuo sighed and got up. He was going for a walk to clear his head. Maybe then he would be able to forget about the flea's sob story long enough to get some sleep.
But when Shizuo opened his door, he heard something strange. He crept down the hall and peered into the living room and felt as though his insides turned to ice.
Izaya was crying.
Shizuo numbly turned around and went back to his room. He couldn't believe what he had seen, didn't want to believe it. No, it must have been a mistake. Izaya wouldn't ever cry. Hell, Shizuo wasn't even sure if Izaya could cry. The flea probably didn't even have tear ducts.
"Enough," Shizuo told himself firmly. He couldn't let himself keep playing dumb when the truth was right in front of him. Izaya was human. Izaya felt anger and sadness, and he could certainly feel pain.
Shizuo walked over and flopped onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Life sure had been simpler before he'd saved Izaya's life. He had been happily ignorant and seen the flea as a purely evil being. Something to be destroyed. Something that had to be destroyed.
And Shizuo wanted to be the destroyer. He wanted to tear Izaya apart and make him suffer.
But when it came right down to it, Shizuo hadn't been able to do it. Now he was paying for it with a sleepless night spent worrying about Izaya's psychological trauma.
The worst part of all this was that it was Izaya's fault, Shizuo decided. If he hadn't tortured that poor girl, he wouldn't have had to watch her kill herself. It wasn't fair, but it was the truth.
Though, Shizuo thought, it wasn't like he meant to drive her to suicide. In fact, a lot of boys tease the girls they like at that age.
So then was it the girl's fault for taking it so personally?
Maybe it was both their faults. Shizuo truly didn't know, but he did know that Izaya was trying to make it better. He was saving girls that wanted to die and giving them a future. Granted, he was doing it in a very malicious way, but that was probably why it worked so well.
Suddenly, everything Shinra had said made sense. Izaya wasn't a bad person; he just did bad things sometimes. But he also did good things. Saving those girls was one of the good things.
Shizuo covered his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to pretend this never happened, or else the next month or however long Izaya would be staying with him would be really awkward.
He had to pretend like nothing had changed.
xxx
The next morning, Shizuo woke up in an awful mood. He had only gotten about an hour of sleep and work was sure to be hell.
Shizuo trudged down the hall and turned on the light. "G'morning, flea," he said. Izaya looked over at him and grinned.
"Mm, good morning, Shizu-chan!" he replied. Though he sounded just as peppy as usual, he had bags under his eyes. "Gonna make me breakfast?"
"What?" Shizuo frowned. "I...I guess I could do that."
"You're so good to me." Izaya grinned and sat up, stretching as much as his back would allow. Shizuo, frying eggs, glared and pointed the spatula at Izaya.
"Don't get used to it, flea," he warned. "The minute you're better, I'm right back to chasing you out of 'bukuro."
Izaya suddenly snapped his fingers. "Ah, that reminds me. Could you bring me a newspaper tonight? I have to start looking for a new house."
"Sure thing." Shizuo dished the scrambled eggs onto a plate and handed it to Izaya. "Here."
"Thanks~!" Izaya reached for the food, but Shizuo grabbed his wrist and forced a fork into his hand.
"Eat like a civilized human," he snarled.
Izaya pouted, but he ate the eggs with a fork, though he held it just like his flickblade. Speaking of which...
"Hey, where's that knife of yours?"
Izaya feigned confusion and ruined it by smirking. "Knife? What knife?"
A vein throbbed in Shizuo's temple. He cracked his knuckles. "I could refresh your memory, if you want."
"Ahhhh, no. That's okay," Izaya said hastily. He reached into the pocket of his coat and produced the flickblade. "Is this the knife you meant? Hey!"
Shizuo had snatched the flickblade out of his hand. "I don't want you having this when you're living here."
Izaya gave him a sullen look. "Fine. Just don't break it."
"Why, was it a gift from another dead girlfriend?"
That was a low blow. Shizuo instantly regretted saying anything, but Izaya grinned.
"No, I just like it."
Shizuo slipped the knife into the pocket of his vest and headed for the door. "I'll keep it safe," he promised, "as long as you don't trash my house."
"Can't do much from the couch," Izaya replied with a shrug.
Shizuo raised an eyebrow mistrustfully. "I'll be back around seven."
"And I'll be here."