Further Down the Line Ch 14
When he walked out of the Abbey, Matthew had no clear plan on where to go. All he knew was that he could not talk with Mary at that point - he was far too angry for that and was bound to say something that he would regret, something that she would not be able to forgive. As he walked away, he was fairly certain that she was crying, but he refused to look back. He knew that if he saw her tears, his resolve would crumble, and he could not allow that. He knew he was in the right here - she had lied to him or at the very least kept a significant secret from him. He really shouldn't be surprised as Mary had certainly kept secrets from him before. Without conscious thought, his feet carried him to Crawley House.
"Matthew, what a lovely surprise," his mother said, rising to greet him as he entered. It was then that she noticed the anger on his face. "Whatever is wrong?"
"I don't wish to speak about it Mother."
"Well then you should have gone elsewhere. Now sit down. I will Ethel bring us some tea and you can tell me what is troubling you." Isobel left the room briefly to speak with Ethel. When she returned, Matthew was sitting in a chair staring at the ground and visibly very angry.
"Now then, what has you so angry?" she asked, taking a seat across from him. He remained stubbornly silent.
"Has Cousin Robert rejected your ideas again?" Matthew did not respond at all.
"Has Cousin Violet said something?" Again, there was no response.
All the sudden it dawned on her. "It was Mary, wasn't it?" At the sound of Mary's named, Matthew visibly reacted and Isobel knew she had struck a chord. She was not surprised that Matthew and Mary had apparently had a bitter quarrel. In truth, although she knew they loved each other deeply, she was rather surprised that such a quarrel had not occurred earlier in their marriage.
"What happened?"
"We quarreled," he said simply, refusing to give her any more information.
"That must I gathered. What did you quarrel about?"
"Mother I will not discuss it with you. That is my final word on the subject."
"Very well, just remember that you will not heal this rift sitting in my parlor," Isobel said, leaving him alone to stew.
The day wore on agonizingly slow for Matthew. He was still very angry with Mary, but another part of him simply yearned for her presence. He thought about returning but if he did, he knew their argument would be explosive. Her actions were unacceptable. He could not believe she would keep such a secret from him, especially in light of the fact that her last secret had caused so much pain for both of them for years. He knew if he went back now, he was likely to throw ugly accessions about her previous secret of Mr. Pamuk in her face, and that was something he could not risk - especially not after his promise to her that night he proposed.
He had no appetite at all and refused his mother's offer of dinner. Instead, he poured himself a strong drink and remained in the sitting room by himself. He wondered how Mary was handling what must be an awkward dinner at the Abbey with his chair empty. He knew Robert and Cora would be less than pleased with his behavior toward Mary, especially in her condition. Well certainly absenting himself for a time was better than a loud argument in which they were both bound to say hurtful things that would be hard to forgive and even harder to forget.
Matthew heard a knock on the door and at first thought perhaps it was Mary coming to apologize and make peace. Don't be ridiculous, he told himself. What were the chances that Lady Mary would humble herself like that? Almost nonexistent he was sure. No, she would wait for him to come to her regardless of who was in the wrong.
"Mr. Branson to see you sir," Mosely announced as Tom entered the room.
"Well, this looks familiar," Tom commented as he surveyed the room. It was the same setting which Tom had entered the night before Matthew's wedding, with Matthew sitting in the same chair holding the same drink.
"Has Mary sent you?" Matthew asked, taking a long drink.
"No, I don't think she knows I am here. I sent myself," he said, taking a seat in a chair near Matthew's.
"How is she?"
"It is hard to read Mary, but her eyes looked like she had been crying and she did not eat much at dinner." Matthew hung his head, feeling guilty for being the cause this, but if he were to go back, he was certain the argument that would ensue would result in even more tears.
"So what was it that has you hiding at your mother's house?"
Matthew expected to remain silent, but found himself at ease with Tom and started talking. "She met Carlisle while we were on holiday in London and did not tell me. She deflected and lied about it when I asked her directly who she met. I discovered the truth today when he sent her a letter."
"You can't imagine that Mary was untrue to you," Tom said with certainty. Mary might be stubborn, prideful, and vain at times, but disloyalty was not something someone could ever accuse her of. The idea that she would be disloyal to Matthew of all people was simply unthinkable.
"No. No, I never thought that. It was the secrets and lies that angered me. You don't know what secrets have done to us in the past," Matthew said, thinking of all the years they could have had together if her secret had not come between them.
"Perhaps, but I cannot imagine that walking away was helpful in the past either."
"No, that wasn't helpful either," Matthew replied, remembering his role in their past mistakes. Perhaps storming out today had been a mistake after all. It dawned on him then that in some ways they were still very much the same boy and girl that they were at the garden party so long ago.
"Look, you are married and so there are bound to be fights - that is just how it is. Go back and fight if you must, but go back. The longer you stay away, the worse it will."
"When did you become the sage of the family?"
"I am no sage. Just a man who has knows how little these arguments mean in the grand scheme of things, especially when life can be cut so tragically short. You clearly love Mary and she you. You will work it all out and be stronger for it. Then you are going to learn another important lesson."
"And what is that?"
"How sweet the making up can be," Tom said with a grin.
TBC