My Auggie story part 14

Auggie had gotten used to a life without sight and in eternal darkness and usually got along very well. Even Joan was sometimes surprised how he had adapted. She and many other colleagues and friends had known him before the accident. But there were still days when Auggie considered his visual disability a curse. He had come in late, or early, depending on the point of view, after the cocktail party. It had been worth it he thought. He and Annie had met a couple of people and Annie had noticed that Mr. White had vanished with Senor Cervantes for some time. However, she could not find out what these two had been up to. Anyway, it was a step further into the right direction.

When Auggie got up he had the mother of all headaches. Not enough sleep, alcohol… an ideal combination for a migraine attack . Since his accident and the brain-trauma he suffered from these symptoms when he was stressed. Usually he got along very well at home, but this morning he had shaved with trembling hands and a pain that was even visible on his face. The consequence of all that was a broken after shave bottle, tiny glass pieces everywhere on the floor and an injured right index finger because he cut himself when collecting the glass pieces from the floor. This was not only annoying because of the wound, but even more, because he needed his right index finger to read Braille. The other fingers could also take over that job but they were not as sensitive and well trained. A band-aid on the index finger was more than just inconvenient for him. Before his accident he would not have thought that such small details could mean so much. A tiny wound on his finger had never been a disaster for him but today it took him an important part of his independence and that annoyed him. But despite that, he had to get to his office. His desk was packed with work to be done. He threw in a migraine-pill, had some toast and made his way to the door where the car service was waiting for him already. Maybe he could go home a bit earlier today. He had worked a lot of overtime recently. After the migraine pill the throbbing pain in Auggies head had subsided and half an hour later he sat at his desk checking e-mails. It was incredible how many important messages had piled up within one day only. Before, a simple glance at the monitor on his desk had been enough, to see what was important and what was spam. Today, he had everything read to him by a computer voice and decided what to do with the message. Today was not his day. He was irritable and in a bad mood. Thanks to adaptive technology and special equipment he managed his daily tasks without problems but despite that many things took a lot more time since the lack of eyesight required different techniques. Feeling frustrated, Auggie leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes and was lost in thought when Joan came into his office. He had not noticed her. Joan cleared her throat and Auggie opened his eyes, sat up in his chair and turned his head into her direction. He felt a bit embarrassed because his boss had caught him while he was idle and said "Sorry, I had to relax for a moment and was lost in thought." Joan knew Auggie very well and said "It´s okay." She knew that something had happened when Auggie was in such a state "Can I help you" she asked him and Auggie replied "No, I got it. This is just one of these stupid days when everything seems to go wrong" And then he started talking about his migraine and the broken bottle in the bathroom. His boss was also something like a mother for him. She valued Auggie as a colleague and understood what was going on with him. She knew how difficult things could be for him since he had lost his sight and she also knew that it was serious when Auggie´s bad mood was clearly visible. When he had a little problem nobody would notice that, but today the entire burden of his disability came down on him and made him irritable, furious and sad. He was even more sad, because he was not able to hide his emotions. The former soldier in him would not permit to show vulnerability.

"Auggie, I got a new assignment for you" Joan said "Senor Cervantes is obviously pulling the strings at ETA. We have found out his address and have send out a team to install bugs and secret cameras in his house. You should also inform your team to do the same at Mr White´s house. I have already talked to Annie to let her check the best places for a bug during your next visit. Originally I wanted to send you both but considering your current ….let me call it….malaise…she´d better go alone." Auggie nodded. He hated to turn down a job but today he was grateful for Joan´s decision. He would already be glad if he managed to accomplish a part of today´s tasks "Okay, that´s it" Joan said and went out of the office. Annie stood on the doorstep and rang the doorbell. A moment later Gloria opened and the two ladies went into the living room. Annie wanted to talk to Gloria about her progress and wanted to ask her what else she would like to learn. Today Auggie should have been there for a Braille lesson. After a while Gloria started talking about the burglary again. Of course she had no idea that Annie had witnessed it and then she went into her husband ´s office to show Annie what had happened. Annie pretended to explore the room with her cane and took the opportunity to take a closer look at the computer. She saw a webcam attached to the computer screen. She memorized the name of the camera model and had a plan. Back in Langey Annie explained the webcam model to Auggie. Her plan was to install a similar camera with remote control so that they would have ears and eyes in the room at any time. Auggie called Hollmann into his office and explained to him the project. As soon as the tiny camera-spy was ready Annie would try to install it in Mr White´s office.

Auggie had left the office a bit earlier and had gone home. He was sitting on his couch and listening to Mingus when the doorbell rang. He opened and noticed it was Annie. "May I come in?" Auggie stepped aside, opened the door a bit wider and said „of course" Annie stepped into the room and asked "Is there a light switch somewhere?" "Yes" Auggie felt for the switch next to the door and the lights went on. Since he had gone blind, light was of no special importance for him and so he often forgot to switch on the lights when he had visitors. He was always a bit embarrassed when his guests had to draw his attention to this fact. Annie sat down on the couch and asked directly "What is going on with you today?" Auggie shrugged "Nothing" "Auggie Anderson I know you and you cannot fool me, so spill it!" Annie said whilst trying to sound stern." Auggie got up, went to the fridge and took two coke cans out. He slowly made his way to the sofa and counted his steps. Then he handed one coke can over to Annie. „I don´t want to talk about it" he replied "And why not? What can be so terrible, that you cannot talk about it to your best friend"? Annie already had an idea what was going on. When Auggie refused to talk it had something to do with his disability. He was still fighting against it and sometimes he lacked self confidence. He was not the type of man to show weakness when things got difficult for him. "Okay" Auggie opened the lid of his coke can, took a sip and continued" I had a really bad day today. I woke up this morning with a terrible migraine and when collecting the pieces of a broken after shave bottle on the floor I cut my right finger. Now you might think ….that is no big deal….wrap a band aid around it…and here we go…but not for me. My right index finger is very sensitive and I need it to read Braille on my Braille keyboard, on documents etc . Needless to say that with a band aid on my finger I am almost unable to function at work. I got a couple of things wrong and that made me angry and it made me waste valuable time. I realized that I am not as good as I thought I was. When things like that happen I am suddenly aware of all my limitations in a sighted world." Annie had listened to him and was deeply touched. Now she took Auggie´s right hand into hers and said "Don´t worry so much. Of course it is not so easy when things go wrong but you should not let it take you down. Nobody in Langley will think you are less valuable when you make mistakes." Auggie was irritable and replied" I don´t want some sort of handicap bonus" "It is not about having a handicap or not, it is about being human and having the right to make mistakes. It is not important whether you can see or not" Annie said. "Maybe you are right" Auggie said "but sometimes it is still hard for me to think about the things I could do before my accident and the things I cannot do anymore. But enough of all that now!"

The following morning Auggie and his team were busy. They were preparing the spy-camera that was going to be installed in the White´s house. Auggie was supposed to go for a walk with Gloria again to practice cane techniques whilst Annie would install the camera. At 3 p.m. Auggie arrived at Gloria´s house. She was already waiting outside and both went for their walk. The topic of the day was a bus ride. Auggie wanted to show Gloria how to use public transport. Both walked to the bus stop around the corner where the bus No. 11 would stop. This bus only offered rides within town."Take my arm and stay right next to me" Auggie instructed Gloria. A few seconds later the bus stopped. Auggie used the cane to find the door and said to Gloria "hold your cane in a vertical position and count the steps, then get into the bus right after me" Gloria followed the instructions and Auggie found a free seat with his cane. Shortly after that the bus driver started the engine again and took them to the park on the edge of town. This was the place for everyone who wanted to enjoy some peace and quiet. One could feed the ducks, take a seat on a bench or rent a wooden hut for a weekend barbecue. Arriving at the park, Auggie and Gloria got out and strolled along the paths. They both enjoyed the sunshine on their faces, the sound of purling water from the lake close-by, the quacking ducks and the chirping birds in the trees above."What do you miss most?" Gloria asked after a while "You mean since I went blind?" "Yes" "Hmm…I don´t know, it depends on the situation. Sometimes I would like to see the face of the person I am talking to, sometimes I just want to see the sunrise or sometimes I just want to look at the photos that remind me of my vacation, of family events and so on. I have come to terms with my situation as far as possible but still there are moments when it hurts to be unable to see."

Meanwhile Annie was in the house and was trying to install the camera. She had just put the old camera into her bag and mounted the other camera on top of the computer screen, when she heard someone coming into the house. Dammit, that was unexpected! Just like before she hid under the huge leather couch and waited. Shortly after that, she saw Mr White entering the room Wow, that had been really close . He had not seen her. Mr White put his briefcase on the desk and left. Annie was curious, she wanted to know what was inside the briefcase. But she thought it was too risky to take a look. She wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Later she heard the sound of the TV in the living room. Mr White was watching football. When men were watching sports events it was usually hard to distract them. So she took advantage of the situation and vanished into the bathroom that was opposite of the office. She opened the window and jumped out.