Guess what I saw yesderday... ADVENT CHILDREN! Booya! My life is complete! Don't worry, I won't rant XD I jsut want to say how increadable Reno and Rude were. They were exactly how I imagined them. At times serious, but extremely goofy. They were the comic relief of the movie. Seeing Reno accidently smack Rude in the face with his EMR (which was thankfully turned off) and send him to the ground made me fall over laughing. Seriously. I fell over. -points at bruise- It was the best thing I've ever seen.In the movie, those two (and all the other characters) were scripted, voiced and characterized very VERY well!
Anyway...
Yet another chapter! I got this idea while thinking about what colour to dye my hair. I started thinking about cool hair in games, and I thought of Rude, and his lack of hair. I thought "How would everyone else react if Rude showed up with hair?" Tada! Here it is! Reno may seem increadably dumb, but that's because I'm over giddy and hyper today. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All Characters are belong to Square
Reno sat back in his chair, feet up on the desk in a relaxed manner. He held a pen in one hand, and was doodling on the palm of the other. He had the pen cap held securely between his teeth, which he occasionally chewed on out of habit. He glanced at the clock, which read 11:34. Lunch seemed so far away, and Rude wasn't around to annoy. Lucky Rude had been sent on some sort of deadly mission for a whole week, and Reno was stuck here in the boring office. It was Friday, and his partner was supposed to be back before lunch. But the man was nowhere to be found.
God, he was so bored.
As he finished the weird design on his hand, he sighed, causing a light whistle as the warm air of his exhale ran through he pen cap. Reno paused and straightened up. He exhaled through the pen cap again, discovering he had a makeshift whistle on his hands. He smirked and stood up. Immediately knowing his plans for the next twenty-six minutes until lunch, he took his new whistle and ran out of the office.
Ten minutes later, Reno dragged his feet back into the office, defeated. Annoying the other two Turks was just no fun. Tseng ordered him to get out from behind his office plant, and Elena just threw a book at him. And it had to be hard cover, didn't it? He plopped down on his chair and tossed the pen cap onto his desk. It was then he noticed someone was sitting at Rude's desk. It didn't look like Rude. Reno slowly stood up.
"Hey! What're you doing here?" he asked, feeling around for his EMR. The man looked his from the assortment of files on the desk. He had strangely coloured, dark purple hair, that had a slight curl to it.
"Reno, it's me." he said in a familiar voice, also standing up.
"Seriously, who are you?" Reno asked, discouraged he couldn't find his weapon. The man raised an eyebrow. He did look oddly familiar, but Reno couldn't figure it out
"Reno, are you that thick?" the strange man asked. "It's me, Rude!"
"LIES!" Reno exclaimed, pointing at the stranger, who just sighed and shook his purple-haired head. "SECRETS AND LIES!"
"You are a moron." Rude said. He pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his blazer pocket and put them on. "There, any better?"
Reno gasped and hurled a stapler at the man, who caught it and managed to avoid getting a staple in the hand. "You stole his shades! You killed him, you bastard!"
"Reno, what's going on…" Elena walked in, trailing off as she saw Rude. She didn't recognise him as her fellow Turk, but a very handsome man with unique hair. When he saw Elena's face turn a light shade of pink, Rude groaned. Elena smiled. "Who are you?"
"Is everyone extra stupid today? I'm Rude!" he replied in a frustrated voice.
"You sure are, speaking like that to a lady!" Elena huffed.
"No, Elena." Rude sighed, rubbing his temples to dull down an emerging headache. "I am your fellow Turk, Rude. I work here, I am Reno's partner."
"You wish!"
"WORK partner!"
Elena blinked several times. "But… Rude doesn't have any hair." she pointed out. Rude sighed again and sat down on the edge of his desk.
"On the mission, I didn't have time to shave my head. And for some reason, my hair has always grown at a fast rate." he looked at the two, who still seemed unconvinced. He groaned. "Is my bald head the only way you recognise me?"
Reno watched him for a moment with narrow, observing eyes. He stepped closer to the purple haired man. He took his glasses and lowered them, looking at his familiar blue eyes. Reno then gasped.
"You stole his eyes, too!" He accused, pointing at Rude again. Rude twitched and caught his sunglasses before they fell.
"Elena, please tell me you're not magically as stupid as him and that you believe me." Rude said, half begging. The female Turk walked over to him and pushed Reno aside as the redhead was about to crack Rude over the head with his coffee mug.
"Yeah, I believe you." she said, sighing. Reno, however, was not convinced. He glared at the 'impostor' and pointed again.
"To prove you are Rude, you must pass the ultimate test!" he announced dramatically. Rude smacked his forehead with his palm.
"Elena, I told you to make sure he didn't watch too much television while I was gone." he muttered at the blonde Turk, who shrugged.
"I tried, I really did."
"Silence!" Reno ordered, causing the two to look at him like he was insane, which was probably accurate. Reno brought his face inches from Rude's again and held there for a moment, not even breathing.
"Uh, Reno-"
"WARK!"
At Reno's chocobo impersonation, Rude yelled a curse and fell over onto the floor. Reno nudged him with his foot, watching the bigger man twitch. Elena watched with amazement and a bit of pity as Rude lay on the floor, growling death threats. Reno's eyes lit up, and when Rude stood up, he tackled him down in a hug.
"Aw, Rude! You're back!"
"Yeah, lucky me." Rude grumbled as he stood, twitching again. He looked to Elena. "Reno wasn't this stupid when I left, what happened?"
Elena laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "Well, a little while ago, I kinda pegged him in the head with a book…" she explained. Rude shook his head.
"That can't be it, I do that all the time."
"No, it was a dictionary. Hardcover edition." Elena said quietly. Rude winced a little upon hearing that as he kicked Reno off.
"Just bludgeon him with something until he's back to normal, then. I'm going to go see Tseng." Rude said, walking towards the door.
"Wait, that'll make it worse!" Elena protested, turning to him. Rude smiled.
"Nope, it works. I speak from experience." He then walked down the hall over to Tseng's office. He knocked on the door after straightening his tie.
"Come in." his boss called, blessing Rude with a voice of sanity in this office. Rude walked in and over to Tseng's desk.
"Hey, Boss. I'm back." He said, his sentence slowing when he saw Tseng's face. It showed confusion and suspicion, and the Turk leader stood up.
"Who are you?" he demanded in a serious voice. Rude twitched.
"God, I hate this company." he growled before turning and walking out of the office. Screw this, he was going home to shave.
There it is! I hope you liked it. Don't mind Reno's extreme stupidity, I don't know how it turned out liek that XD Oh, and aboutt he colour of Rude's hair. Purple was the colour I described his natural hair colour to be in the very first chapter. It was one of the first jokes in the whole story. So, yeah, just so nobody goes "wtf, purple?"
Reviews! Booya, you guys rock!
Nando the RPS King: Oh yes, Reno is insane witht his theories. I do feel bad for Elena, she must be so crushed. It's all in fun though... well, not for her. And also, now almost everyone inmy friends class is trying to get the teacher to say 'precious specimen', and they're still trying XD Good times. Thank you!
The Tiramisu of Impending Doom: Poor Tseng, he'd kill Reno seven times over if he found out. However, it may be true... -gets shot- ehh, yeah. Thanks for the review!
TruebornChaos: I really can't blame them, it's thier boss, after all! Especially Elena, she might force some down Reno's throat. And Yes, that one quote from Vincent had me giggling for days. I think it sparked all the Cid/Vin theory. Not a bad theory, if I do say so myself X3 Thanks again!
Akiraine of Gia: Actually, "Luffable" is jsut how I say loveable XD I don't know what it really means. And Sorry for mentioning the pairing you hate so much -sweatdrop- hope it didn't ruin the story for you! ...and wait, cleavage man? -shudder- wrong, just WRONG! I'm having nightmares now, too! Wow, your reviews are long! I wish I could write an equally long reply, to show you how much I appreciate it! You're awesome, and your reviews make me giggle and give me motivation! Thanks a billion!
Random Reno Fangirl 05: Yaoi makes the world go round X3 In fact, I like those pairings you said you preferred, too, but I simply can't resist Tseng/Rufus (Reno/Rude is a guilty pleasure of mine, too) I think your new fic opened my eyes to Yuri... certanly is differant. Might give it a try later on! And uhh... no dying of hyperventalation... I'd miss your reviews and fanfics! Poor Derek... so abused... Anywhoo, thanks again!