A/N: I just thought I should clarify as I stupidly didn't make it clear last chapter, he slept with Rachel the night before Aria. Don't worry, Ezra wouldn't do that to Aria. I am sorry that I made him do it in the first place, just felt he should get his own back lol. anyways, this chapter is short, so I'll try update in the next couple of days.

Chapter 14

Slow It Down

"I slept with Rachel last night." Ezra spontaneously announced.

Everything suddenly froze around them, neither one of them moved. Ezra's words were like an anchor, clinging on to Aria's heart and dragging it into the depths of her stomach. Every part of her felt heavy as if she was about to crumble to the ground. The first thing to fall was her tears, next it would be her head. She couldn't bear to look at him. She couldn't read him right now; he was like a whole different person to her. Suddenly her favourite book was written in another language. She had no desire to try to read it.

Ezra approached her with caution, but the alarming need to explain himself was so strong that he didn't care what would happen if he touched her. She could punch him, hit him, god she could stab him right now and he would feel as though it was fair. So he did, he sprinted towards her as she slowly crumbled to the floor as if she were a building that had been bulldozed down. He wasn't sure what he could really say to make any of this better. It wasn't until now that he truly remembered the previous night's events. He isn't going to blame it on the alcohol, although that didn't help much, the main cause of his absent mind was Aria. He forgot because he wanted to forget. All he could think about was her and all he wanted was her.

This morning he woke in a fright, he was sweating when the guilt finally came crashing down on him. In his dreams, he was with Aria, but she sounded like Rachel, that's when he remembered what he had done. There was nothing to excuse it though. Right now, nothing could make this right. He knew that. He hated that.

"I'm such an idiot." He expressed as he knelt beside her and placed a hand on her back, he was surprised she didn't recoil away from him, but he knew why she didn't. She was numb. She couldn't feel him anymore.

Rachel. Rachel. The name rang a bell in Aria's mind, but she still couldn't quite place it. She couldn't stop mulling it over in her mind as she continued to sob to herself. Who could it be? She knew she had certainly heard the name before, but she couldn't quite picture her. She wasn't sure she really wanted to. She didn't want to imagine Ezra making love to another woman who wasn't her, not when it happened so recently. It was so fresh. Aria was surprised that she couldn't still smell the scent of her on Ezra's pillow… Suddenly, it hit her. Rachel, Hardy's colleague, Rachel… the girl Ezra was with at the reception. Finally, the last part of Aria dropped; her stomach. Now she was just rubble, lying there in the aftermath of the destruction 6 little words had on her whole world.

"You know…had I known you would come back here, I wouldn't have done it." Ezra tried to explain, pausing every so often to swallow the lump that repeatedly formed in his throat. "What I said earlier, it was just my way of feeding my own guilt. I-I just… when did this get so messed up?" Ezra let out an exasperated sigh and fell back onto the floor, sitting with his knees to his chest, his hand not leaving Aria's back. He's whole body vibrating from the sobs that rocked her body.

"Do you remember that time when we went on that date to Philly?" Aria asked through her sniffles.

It had been a few minutes since he had last spoke. He was surprised she would want to say anything to him; he was even more surprised when it was that. Ezra nodded, not that Aria could see. He sat behind her, admiring her short wavy hair, thinking about how wonderful they felt beneath his fingertips last night as they made love. He wondered if he would ever feel that again.

"Everything seemed so hard back then, but with everything I still never doubted our love for one another. No matter what would be thrown at us, we would be able to survive it; hostile parents, crazy ex-girlfriends, even secret kids… this… this I am not so sure we will survive."

With that, Aria rose from the ground and took a deep breath, wiping away her tears and looking down towards the man who merely hours before she dreamt of marrying. Now all she sure was a man who broke her heart into tiny pieces. Sure, he hadn't cheated on her, but he had lied. He had slept with her without telling her that only 24 hours prior he was doing exact same thing with another woman. It wasn't fair. This whole situation wasn't fair. She just wanted it to be over.

"What?" Ezra retorted as he watched her in utter confusion, rising to his feet in a spurt of determination. "Wait, you can run off with Josh and do whatever you want to do with him, but I do this one thing, whilst we aren't together and you leave me." Ezra felt a sudden anger surge through him. He still forgave her after everything and this one minor thing she can't seem to get passed, it wasn't fair. Maybe he's love for her did outweigh her love for him.

"I didn't sleep with Josh!" Aria shouted back as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

Ezra was dumbfounded. His jaw felt as if it had come unhinged. He was so sure she would have slept with Josh, so sure that he had imagined it almost every night since he found out, taunting himself with mental images of his love with someone else. To think he had been winding himself up for no reason was insane. This was the reason he slept with Rachel. He was getting his own back on Aria. Now he couldn't think of a stupider thing to have done.

"Fuck." He spat as he stare down at the floor.

"Yeah, fuck." Aria growled as she watched him with complete content.

"Surely you can't be pissed at me, still. I took you back even though you left me for Josh. I still love you after all of that." Ezra argued, usually the words 'I still love you' would make Aria swoon and truly it was one thing she certainly wanted to hear Ezra say again. Yet, in that moment it felt so shallow. It felt meaningless.

"I know… I mean, I don't know." Aria let out a calming breath.

"God, what am I doing?" Ezra let out bitter laugh and shook his head. "Why am I fighting for this?" He looked at the sky for answers from something he wasn't quite sure he still believed in.

Aria felt as if he had stabbed her in the heart. This was all becoming too complicated, even for them. How did they get to this? It was never easy for them, but it never had to be this hard. She had to admit, that deep down, she knew that she was mostly to blame. In that moment though she couldn't stop picturing Ezra with Rachel, naked skin against naked skin, their moans, him saying her name. The thought made her feel sick. She closed her eyes and shook away the thoughts. When she opened her eyes, Ezra was calmer. He's hands were no longer balled into fists at his sides, the veins on his neck no longer bulged, and his chest no longer heaved.

"I think we need a break." Ezra breathed out.

Aria looked up at him with sheer confusion, "5 months not long enough?"

Ezra rolled his eyes at Aria's sarcastic response, "Look, I just need to think about things and so do you. We rushed into this."

Suddenly, Aria was overcome with fear. She didn't actually want this to end. Not right now. Not ever. Everything was being pulled beneath her feet and she wasn't too sure if anything would be there to protect her fall.

"We can get through this, Ezra. Let's just forget about it all." Aria suggested, she tried to not seem desperate, but she failed.

"Stop, Aria. You know this is for the best." Ezra stated plainly. "Maybe we should just be friends for a while."

"Friends?" Aria scoffed. "We were never friends, Ezra." Crossing her arms against her chest.

Now it was time for Ezra to feel that blow to the stomach that Aria had already experienced twice, "Aria, you're my best friend."

Aria frowned at his words. He was right, they were best friends. They were always there for each other. They knew every little thing about each other. They had a bond that was like no other friend Aria had had, even Spencer. Aria nodded in agreement.

"We'll have a break." She finally agreed.

As the words fell from her mouth she was once again overcome with a sea of emotion, causing another flood of tears to flee her clouded hazel eyes. She placed her hand over her mouth and willed the sobs that rose in her throat not to escape; she didn't want to seem weak right now, even though she felt as if the slightest breeze could knock her down in an instant. Ezra approached her with the same love and affection as he always did, because he always did love her, and he pulled her into his embrace.

"I just want to go home." Aria sobbed into his chest, gripping tight to his t-shirt and dampening it with her tears.

"We can get a plane back to Philly tomorrow?" Ezra sweetly suggested. "I know you can't bear flying alone."

Aria shook her head and loosening her hold on him to look at his face, her tears no longer present, "No, I want to go home to my parents."

Ezra's brows furrowed as he looked down into Aria's puffy eyes, "You still haven't spoken to them?"

Aria let out a deep breath to calm the thudding of her erratic heartbeat and settle the uneasiness of her stomach. "No, a part of me thought this would all blow over. I thought I'd get a phone call one evening from them pleading my forgiveness. I thought their love for me outweighed everything else."

Then, as she broke down in his arms, his heart broke a little. He swallowed the lump in his throat and kissed the top her head; he held his eyes close tightly to oppress his own tears. He wanted to be strong for her. In that moment, Aria was a 16 year old girl again crying in his arms outside of his apartment for a reason at the time wasn't very clear to him. That's when everything started to make sense for the first time in a long time. She wasn't spiteful or jealous or malicious, she didn't want to hurt Ezra. She was just a young, broken girl who was lost in an adult world and he had been too blind to see it… until now.

"Come on. Let's get you home."

a/n: Sorry if there are any major inaccuracies in my grammar or spelling, I didn't have the time to read over it. Also, so sorry to cut it short, but the next chapter has a short time jump so I didn't feel like continuing it on. I am also sorry to split them up AGAIN, but I just felt Ezra was poorly treated by Aria and I didn't want him to jump straight back into it like the push-over he is. Doesn't mean they aren't going to end up together. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. This chapter is probably going to cause a lot of controversy, but i'll try to redeem myself in the following chapters ha ha . Thank you for reading and for all your amazing support, I really am surprised anyone still reads this lol. Love you all!

- Tasha x