Hello again (: I'm really not sure how many chapters are left, maybe say three/two more and an epilogue? I honestly expected this to reach 12 chapters, but here we are at fourteen! And sorry for the delay, but we're nearly finished! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: For the fourteenth time this fic alone, no.

OOO

"So, what are my options?"

"Well, you can either leave your gigai now that I've altered the incantation, and from your dazzling looks we'll know who you are; or we can proceed directly to recovering your memories, a process which takes a day or two, but the initial surge will be the most basic information: who you are, your earliest memories, your family, and, while patchy, from then on it's pretty much going from your oldest recollections to your most recent."

I nodded slowly.

In a way, I wanted to get my memories back as soon as possible, but I knew it would make my loss all the more fresh and twice as deep: suddenly these would be people I had known centuries. I also just wanted immediate gratification, and I thought that being out of my gigai would be a nice surprise for Tōshirō... plus, he really needed to know what I looked like. So did I, for that matter.

I looked back up at Urahara. "I want to leave my gigai."

He nodded, and Yoruichi smiled in the background where she was leaning against my living room wall with her arms crossed.

This was the first time I had been in here since their deaths. I could see my brother's Nintendo DS out of the corner of my eye, the dip in our IKEA sofa where my father had always sat and the pictures on all the walls, chosen by my mother: Klimpt. Even my sister, gone for two years now, had left her mark: the cream-coloured walls she had insisted on when Dad had wanted blue.

I stopped thinking about it. I had to.

Let them go.

I watched with a little apprehension as Urahara approached me, glove again sitting innocently over his palm and fingers.

"I think that she tampered with it when she drugged you, but that was probably intentional, to try and stop me. Such a shame she failed."

And with that, his hand went right through my forehead. After my panic, I had a second of movement – falling, I think – and blurred colours, before everything went black.

OOO

I was lying somewhere, but it wasn't my floor. It was softer and it smelt like grass.

In fact, I had known something was off straight away because I had been lying face down, when I should have definitely been lying face up. I could smell dirt in my nostrils and a hard lump under my thigh, but there was also fresh air and running water. I was wearing oddly loose clothes and what seemed to be socks and sandals.

I should have felt terrified, but somehow I knew that I had nothing to fear here. Still, I lay immobile for a long minute before I finally lifted myself up and opened my eyes.

And came face to face with a wolf.

I tilted my head as he did what could only be explained as observed me. His eyes were a sharp, clear blue, and his fur snow white. He was sitting calmly, looking as inoffensive as possible as his ear left ear twitched once and then lay still. I had had a dog once, a German Shepherd, so I should have been able to read his mood well enough... but this wolf was acting like no wild animal I had seen before. It was too rigid, and he wasn't giving off any signs.

I supposed that meant it was safe to take my eyes off him.

Glancing around, I saw we were on a mountain, snow capped and ringed with clouds, with a clear river running down its side. I was only twenty feet away from the snow, but there were trees (a root of one was what had been bruising my leg) and grass thriving here anyway, and it wasn't cold. I was in a strange green patch among all the ivory. I glanced the other way, and saw clouds. I shakily got to my feet and made my way towards them, running my hand through the white air that seemed more insubstantial the closer I got. My hand came away a little icy and cold, perhaps a little damp, but it hadn't felt like a giant candyfloss, as I had always imagined.

"You did that the first time you came here. I remember that you were disappointed."

I glanced around, confirming that there was no human that had snuck up on me, before turning back to the wolf. He was still sitting the same as before, but his eyes were still following me.

Not a normal wolf then.

"You're my Zanpakutō, aren't you?" He inclined his head, and at that I walked towards him. Carefully, I reached out and placed a hand upon his head. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

He was still looking up at me, but at that, his tail gave a few gentle wags and his ears twitched forwards. I knelt and scratched behind his ear, and his furry body moved to sit itself next to me as he pressed his side against my front. I hugged him and knew that I recognised his otherworldly smell, even more so than his voice, which I had heard in my family bathroom.

Eventually, he looked up at me.

"Go, Mitsuki. Once you recover your memories, you'll be able to come here again."

"You have a very good English accent," I smiled as I stroked his thick fur once more.

"Everything you know, I know," He replied simply as he moved away. He started plodding upwards into the snow. I stood and called out to him.

"Wait! What's your name?"

He turned to look back at me a moment. "My name is in Japanese, and once you are able to understand it, you will also already know it."

I'm stupid, aren't I?

I just nodded mutely, and was about to ask how I was to get back, when the answer came to me. I closed my eyes and thought about it – where I wanted to go back to. I smiled slightly as my sense of gravity changed, and I was lying on cold hard marble floor with something digging into my back as voices spoke over me.

"What happened?"

A voice was asking, tone harsh.

"Nothing happened, she has simply gone to see her Zanpakutō, that is all."

There was silence, and then I opened my eyes. Tōshirō and Urahara were standing over me, with Yoruichi standing in the background. The woman said "I told you there was nothing to worry about." I looked to my right, and there was my body, still wearing jeans and a black jacket. In a way, that old life was contained in that form. There was no going back.

Goodbye, Eva.

My eyes found Tōshirō's as he helped me up. I tore my gaze away as I looked down at myself, seeing Shinigami clothes. I knew I was feeling the weight of my sheathed blade on my back.

I abruptly staggered and closed my eyes as I got a rush of information from senses that had been dead a good fourteen years. I felt energy simply everywhere, movement I didn't know how to describe, the presence at my back and the three people in the room with me... I could sense them. I just knew they were still there.

I opened my eyes and smiled at Tōshirō, who wasn't in his gigai at all.

It hadn't done him justice, really. There were a myriad of small scars over his eyes and a few on his face that hadn't been there, and his eyes were a slightly different shade – more green. Even his hair was more upright than I remembered. He had his sword exactly like mine, over his back, and the Shinigami clothes looked good on him, though the sleeves and legs were going to look a little ridiculous on everyone.

"I want to lie down," I said to the room in general.

That meant I want to be alone with Tōshirō.

"We can start with your memories whenever you're ready," Urahra informed me, but I barely cared.

I looked around the room as I left, and as I looked at the hallway and the bedrooms, I knew I couldn't stay here. This wasn't my life any more. It was only ever Eva who had lived here, not Mitsuki. I glanced back, glad that Tōshirō had known to follow me.

I arrived in my old room. Without thinking about it, I took off my sword and placed it on my desk, before throwing myself down on my bed. I waited, face down, for Tōshirō to join me. I heard his footsteps as he came closer, and felt how carefully he lowered himself so that he was on the bed. I turned my head towards him and opened one eye. He was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow.

"Is she dead?"

"Not yet. She will be tomorrow morning."

"And the insider?"

"Same fate."

I let us lapse into silence as I moved forward and rested my head under his. He smelt so nice, and his body was much warmer than I remembered it being. I inhaled silently and felt him move his arm from lying on his side to over mine.

"Do I get to choose?"

"Yes."

"What do I look like?"

"Much the same... Your jaw is a little rounder."

I let a few beats pass before gently kissing his collarbone. "I want to go back with you."

Let them all go.

He nodded, and didn't say anything more as he gathered me closer towards him and let me sleep, even as a few final tears escaped my eyes as I thought of the people I was leaving behind.

Goodbye, all of you...

OOO

I had waited until the next afternoon to begin recovering my memories. I had planned to do it in the morning, but Tōshirō informed me as soon as I woke up that Hiroko had died little less than an hour ago. The woman wearing the face of my mother seemed so far away now. But after this revelation I hadn't felt like moving and had lay there for some time. Occasionally I had broken the silence and asked Tōshirō something or another.

Once I had gotten up, I had looked in the mirror and felt an explicable rush of relief as I saw how similar my gigai had been.

My eyes were the same almond shape, my lips and nose were exactly the same, and it had been a subtle alteration of my cheekbones and jawline that would have made it harder to recognise me. My face was more heart-shaped now, and my cheekbones weren't as high. My hair, while still wavy, was darker and much longer. I was glad I would still have some connection to Eva... even though soon that life wouldn't be so important to me.

Eating breakfast with Tōshirō hadn't even been uncomfortable. I had become numb; I had had too many experiences where I was suddenly assaulted with memories... And soon they would be the ones I really needed.

After that I had asked Tōshirō about the trial and he had inquired after my Zanpakutō. I had felt little uncomfortable, because what had happened, however unexciting, was between myself and I. I had glossed over the details and given info about where I had woken, but that was it. He had seemed to understand, and had reciprocated with a description of his own little interior world.

But now there was nothing left to do really. I had asked what story they planned giving to my school and my friends, and there had been a short uncomfortable silence before Yoruichi had finally admitted: "We found the bodies of your mother and guards. We were going to leave them here, make it look like a robbery that had gone wrong..."

I shook my head. "People can never find this house, getting here would be too much effort and it would raise more questions. Just set the house on fire... Our heat is from gas bottles, there's one in the cupboard next to the cooker. As long as I have a day to clear this place out of stuff I want to save, I don't mind."

It was then that I started to see a glimmer of respect in the Shinigami's eyes. Her and Urahara had nodded as I felt Tōshirō's hand come to rest upon my lower back. I knew the others couldn't see and felt thankful for this show of support. Once Urahara had turned and started preparing my living room for the procedure, Tōshirō had stepped around me and looked at my face very seriously.

"You're really coming back with me, then?"

I smiled at him. "Eva stays here, and now I'm not going to be her."

I think he got my message. She died with her family. He nodded and carefully raised his hidden right hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I wish you still had that innocent look in your eyes..." He told me, voice chagrined and full of pain.

It was then that I realised how old he actually was, and how much he had seen. It was terrifying to think that I had seen more.

"Mitsuki."

I turned towards Urahara. He gestured towards the sofa and I lay down, propped up on pillows so that it was like a nice version of a dentists' chair. I spent the next few minutes watching the man in the hat as he moved his hands over me and muttered.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready." I confirmed for the third time. Urahara shrugged.

"Well, okay, then."

I watched as he leant over me. He said three more words and then tapped his index finger onto my forehead. I waited for a second but nothing happened and I raised an eyebrow at Urahara, who was watching me expectantly. What is he waiting fo-

A gasp escaped my lips as my eyes began to see things that weren't there and a hundred different voices exploded around my ears. The world became green, then blue and gold and red and finally grey as my eyes rolled back into my head and I fell unconscious again, escaping the blinding pain in my head. I woke a minute later with my head pounding before being lost in a world of white.

"Nee-chan! Nee-chan come back!"

A little girl was screaming as her sister swam away, laughing. She didn't know that Arima Mitsuki hadn't learnt to swim yet and was being left on an island she couldn't escape. The little girl began to cry, but a few seconds later Arima Itoe popped her head around a palm tree and smiled.

"Don't be silly, Mitsuki, I wouldn't leave you!"

The ten-year-old picked up her sibling and walked through the shallow water as Mitsuki demanded an ice-cream...

I had a second of relief and a stark image of Hitsugaya Tōshirō's pale face as he watched me, and I saw his eyes widen and his hand squeeze mine, but then I was sinking under again...

"Can I go to the Academy one day?"

"Of course you can."

"Will I be a Shinigami, Mama?"

"Yes, dear... You will."

Short honey hair and kind brown eyes. She strokes my hair.

I come back up again with my mother's smile still imprinted in my vision. Then I see my father's face.

Beard and black hair, wearing black clothes. He's back from his mission and I run towards him, screaming to him about how Mama got me a hamster but all it does is sleep.

The next time I see him he's at dinner with us and is pouring Itoe her drink. I laugh at Mama's joke and say that I like sushi too, nodding to myself. Mama says that I never eat it, but I insist.

I'm four and I fall and graze my knee and someone picks me up and heals me and says that it's okay and I believe them. A few days later I accidentally cut my hand and then Mama's telling me to be more careful. I'm six and my cat dies. Two months later, they buy me a little dog. I'm nine and Mama's taking me on a trip outside the Arima compound into Seretei and I see people in white cloaks and I'm on my best behaviour so I don't embarrass my family and people are talking about us as we pass and they wave and an old woman starts talking to me, asking if I know about tea ceremonies and I say 'Yes Grandmother' and I'm back in my room and it's pink and purple and I'm playing games with my sister and she teaches me western chess.

I feel the wetness on my face – this is me – but prepare myself because I sense what comes next.

"Hello. I'm Arima Mitsuki."

I hold out my hand. I'm the one who's ten now, the youngest my parents would let me enter the Academy. I'm facing a girl with red hair and brown eyes like mine. She's the only person my age, but she's still a couple of years older than me.

"Shimatsu Tsubaki. Your first day?"

We're standing outside and there's so many people and we have to go in soon and I'm scared but I want to do this and Itoe did it so I can too. I nod and the older girl smiles.

"Mine too. We should stick together."

We sit next to each other and study together in the First Years study area afterwards. We start to go to each other's dorm rooms and have feasts and talk about the boys at the Academy. My sister visits and meets Tsubaki and says she's nice and can come round in the summer.

Tsubaki doesn't invite me to her house.

A boy tries to bully me because I'm from a prestigious clan, who must only be here because of her family's influence and not because she actually has talent and therefore is someone to be jealous of and who deserves punishment. But since everyone knew I had my heart set on this, they'd been training me for the last two years in hand-to-hand combat because I didn't have a Zanpakutō.

I break his nose.

The scene changes, and I'm older, and my body is slimmer and I have my Zanpakutō now. I'm walking with Tsubaki towards the training room.

"Why haven't I ever been to yours, Tsubaki?"

She looks at me, and stops. I stop with her and she sighs.

"I don't think you'd like it."

"Why? Arimas have tradition and ceremonies too. I'm sure I'd be fine."

"No... It's... They're not normal," She finally admits to me, and my eyes betray my shock. I glance towards the doors, where a few classmates are waiting for us.

"Tell me later, okay?"

Tsubaki looks apprehensive but relieved as she nods... And we start walking again, covering up the patch with a joke about Takahashi's shoddy fighting practice with a wooden sword where he hit the teacher over the head accidentally.

We have a secret party with four other friends but we can't stay too long because we have combat tests tomorrow and have to be well-rested. It's a week later and she's slipped into my room after hours. Sitting on my bed, she starts slowly.

"They're not normal."

"You said that already."

I'm impatient and I want to know.

"They're a little... touched by the sun."

I look at her in disbelief. "And nobody knows?"

Tsubaki shakes her head.

"No. Nobody. It's a secret..." Suddenly crying, she reaches for me and grabs onto my sleeves. "They do horrible things, Mitsuki, you wouldn't believe! I'm ashamed to carry the Shimatsu name."

I stare at her and promise to help her and when I say that she hugs me and thanks me a hundred times and tells me between sobs what her own father did to her. I feel sick but I listen because she's my friend. Eventually she stops and I tell her it's okay, and that the important thing is that she knows it is wrong.

I meet my Zanpakutō for the first time but he doesn't want to talk to me or tell me his name and all is says is 'You'll have to work a little harder'

The next month is summer break and I go home but Tsubaki doesn't come with me because she doesn't want to be there when I tell my parents. I do and they admit that they know the family well and had seen evidence of it and Itoe screams at them because they had been planning to marry her off to Shimatsu Kaito and she would do anything for family but these people are insane and they have to stop them. My father looks at me and asks me if Tsubaki would like to live with us next summer, once we've graduated. I know the answer and I nod even while my parents begin to talk about what to do.

"They can't go on like this!"

My mother is friends with some Shimatsu woman, but she can't deny it now. No one can and my father says so.

"Yamamoto will deal with them."

"No! We can't do that until Tsubaki is here with us, and anyone else who wants to leave! Otherwise they might be hurt."

That meant killed and I knew it, but I told my parents we couldn't wait and once summer is over I talk to Tsubaki and she says there's no one else who wants to escape and we go back home and the same day father goes to Yamamoto but it's already too late and some Shimatsu find him on the way and he's dead before he can warn the Gotei Thirteen and I cry and suddenly we're running away from the compound and I can hear people shouting, and there's one behind me and I draw my blade.

"Anatano kanawo oi kakeru, Takehiko!"

I didn't know before but I do now and I feel our bond and I can feel he is pleased. He leaps forward and grabs the man around his neck, snapping it. And then we're running away. Always running.

Urahara with a younger face and no clogs and he tells me that I have to hide and Tsubaki too but I don't know where and he sends us to Russia where it's so cold but I'm at home here and my mother and my sister are here too and two guards, Daisuke and Sora. This is my family now and they tell me that only twenty of us survived and second-cousin Kyou is with his family and Tsubaki is with cousin Aoishi who was in our Academy class and we never finished and oh I want to go home-

I took a gasp of breath and sat up, feeling the tears but not the usual embarrassment of crying in public as I took deep breaths as I clutched Takehiko. I realised why: Eva felt that sort of thing, not me. I felt so detached.

"That wasn't nice," I groaned, realising a second later I had said it in Japanese. I realised I knew eight languages now, and I knew that I seriously needed to start training again. I was out of shape and unfit.

I looked up at Tōshirō and smiled. He looked worried.

"I'm fine."

And it was almost true.

OOO

'Anatano kanawo oi kakeru' means 'chase your enemies', and 'Takehiko' means 'mountain prince'. I think they fit pretty well. I hope that my memories work too.

Also, Itoe is what came up when I translated my sister's name.

Ciao.