Hi everyone! I hope you all had a fantastic New Years. I was going to put up a chapter on New Years Eve but I have been sick all of winter break and couldn't do it. Also I've been working on this chapter for the past few days and I've been exhausted writing most of it so I want to apologize in advance if I messed up at all.
WARNING: PEETA DROPS A FEW BOMBS JUST IN CASE NO ONE LIKES SWEARS
ALSO PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW BECAUSE I LOVE KNOWING WHAT YOU GUYS THINK AND ANY IDEAS YOU HAVE
-Katniss P.O.V-
"We're in the Capitol." As if I thought I would be happy to be in the Capitol and off of this damn train, but instead I find myself wishing it had taken longer. "How are you feeling?" Peeta places the palm of his hand on my forehead.
"Fine," I reply but then suddenly heat washes over my face, "Never mind." I mumble quickly, pushing Peeta's hand off my head and sprint to the adjoined bathroom. Though I thought there couldn't be possibly anything else left in my body, I find myself getting sick.
The sound of Peeta's footsteps get louder until he comes and kneels down beside me. "I'll just...go tell Effie that you'll be a few minutes," Haymitch says awkwardly from the door of the bedroom. Peeta says something to Haymitch, but I'm too exhausted to listen.
"The train stopped moving so you should start feeling better in a little while. called a doctor in the Capitol and made arrangements to get you medication for the train ride home." Peeta rubs my back soothingly. I nod in response, slowly standing up.
"You look exhausted," I shoot a death glare at Peeta for stating the obvious. "Maybe we can push back meeting with President Paylor a few hours so we can go to a hotel for you to rest. I'm sure that she'll understand; besides it's the least of her to do for us considering the circumstances."
I look at Peeta, knowing that he doesn't want to be in the Capitol any longer than he has to. Staying an extra few hours for him would be like centuries. It then dawns on me that he has not been attacked by one single episode since we've boarded the train; at least, not in front of me. Surely, he's had to have struggling, his brain spinning from all of the effort he has put into not having one. The dark bags under his eyes become more prominent the more I think about it. I wonder if he even got a wink of sleep.
"No," I shake my head, using all of my strength to stand up from the floor, "We're not staying here any longer than we need to. Besides, I'm fine." I decided to try my best in acting strong. If Peeta knows that I'm ok, then it is one less thing for him to stress about. Now if only I can make him believe me is the real task. I stride back into the bedroom, squinting my eyes in hopes that my head stops spinning. I grab a pair of jeans and a white long sleeve sweater. The weather has been gruesome this January, and unfortunately the Capitol is just as cold as District 12. Throwing the clothes on quickly I go back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and to apply a bare amount of makeup. Though there won't be thousands of people waiting for us and paparazzi, Effie would be disappointed of my appearance, because after all, 'we are in the Capitol'. Putting my hair into its signature braid, I past Peeta who is staring at me from the bathroom door, and throw on a pair of brown boots, a red scarf, and green jacket. He stands there dumbfounded by my change of attitude, "You better get ready or Effie will get angry. I'll see you in the dining cart." And with that I leave the room and head for the one thing that I thought wouldn't be on my mind at the moment: food.
Effie and Haymitch sit across from each other when I enter the room. The two of them have a hush conversation, Effie looking hectic, most likely from the time we're wasting, and Haymitch looking rather amused from her reasoning. Both my past Mentor and Escort stop their conversation when they see, a look of concern washing over their faces. "Wipe that look off your faces before Peeta comes in here," I shoot, trying to sound threatening but end up sounding tired and strained.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to act tough for Peeta. He know's, hell we all know, that you're exhausted-"
"And Peeta is exhausted,too. Has anyone forgotten what he's gone through in the Capitol? He's probably been using all of his strength to fight back episodes because of me. I can't have him worrying and taking care of me on top of that…" I try to continue my speech but a wave of dizziness overcomes me. I stumble only to catch onto a chair, gripping it with force. Haymitch stands from his seat, ready to come catch me but I hold out a hand for him to stop, "I'm fine."
The two just look at me as I pull out the chair and slowly sit. "Well you certainly don't seem fine, Katniss. I can go get Peeta for you, he will know exactly what to do."
Haymitch and I glare at Effie; didn't I just talk about how I don't want Peeta worrying more? "You should at least try to eat something," Haymitch suggests. At the thought of food, my stomach gives out a low growl. I nod my head, reaching for a chocolate chip muffin.
"Oh good, I was just about to tell you that you should eat something. Glad to see that you have your appetite back." Peeta's voice travels through the room as he enters and sits beside me. His voice shows that he doesn't believe my sudden change in mood. I keep my face down while I eat, knowing that if he sees my face he'll see how exhausted and drained I am. While I eat I push down the overwhelming feeling of everything coming back up and listen to the three people around me have simple conversation.
I hear Peeta suddenly stand up from his seat next to me and walk over to the window. The window shows us that we are now in the center of the Capitol, only minutes away from the train station. Instead of looking out the window my attention moves toward Peeta, whose body has visually stiffened. "Peeta," To my surprise my voice comes out as cautious rather than tired.
"I'm alright, Kat," Peeta's voice clearly shows that he is lying. The struggle in his voice is obvious, on top of the fact that his hands now ball into fits, knuckles turning white.
As I stand to slowly walk over to my husband, I notice that my nausea and fatigue has disappeared completely, my attention being entirely on him. "Tell me it's not real," Peeta grunts.
That sentence stops me in my tracks for a moment. I knew that he's fighting off an episode right now, but I didn't think that it was so bad that he would say that. Usually, if he knew he were on a verge of an episode he could think of something or I would be there before it got too bad. We haven't played real or not real in five years. I slowly start to approach him again, "Peeta, it's not real. Whatever is going through your head right now is not real."
Out of the corner of my eye I see Haymitch stand from his chair and moves to stand close enough to Peeta and I incase anything were to happen. Gently, I place my hand on Peeta's shoulder. The hurt in my eyes is prominent when he stiffens more from my touch. But as quickly as it came I wash the feeling away.
"How do you know? You don't know anything." I catch a look at Peeta's eyes. The beautiful sea blue that I love are in competition with the black Capitol eyes that secretly scares me half to death. His forehead is scrunched up, sweat starting to stain from his hair.
I carefully squeeze myself between him and the window so that we stand in front of each other. My back is against the wall while my bump is inches away from him. "I do know. I know that whatever is corrupting your mind right now is not true. I know that you can fight this because you are strong. I know that I love you so much that it hurts. I know that our baby loves you just as much as I do." Peeta's eyes flicker when I bring up the baby, so as gently as I can I take his fisted hand in mine. His body stiffens again but he doesn't object so I unfold his hand and place it on my stomach.
Peeta's hand relaxes at the touch of my stomach and seconds later, his whole body does as well. I look into his eyes to see that the beautiful shade of blue is back. Peeta's face relaxes only to be full of concern, "Katniss, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to have an episode, I just looked out the window and it hit me out of nowhere. Are you okay? I'm sorry-"
I place my hands on either side of Peeta's face and kiss him. At first Peeta is surprised by my action but quickly kisses me back. "Stop saying sorry. It's not your fault, we're in the Capitol, the place that triggers you the most. We need to think about you, not just me."
"I don't want to put anymore stress on you, Kat." Peeta places both of his hands on my growing bump.
"The only thing that's going to stress me out is you acting like this is your fault," I state.
The train comes to a stop, everyone in the room letting out a sigh of relief. "Well, as we're here I suggest that we get off the train," Effie says. The three put on their jackets that they left on their chairs but stop their actions when we hear the low roar of yelling. I look out the window to see thousands of people with cameras, notebooks, small children, and people jumping with excitement. From the look on my face, everyone know's what's outside the doors of the train.
"Paylor said no one would know that we're coming," Peeta snaps.
"She did," Haymitch answers, as much anger in his voice as Peeta's.
Peeta comes over to me and zips up my jacket, "This should cover you. We don't need anymore pictures floating around." I nod my head in response, though my only thought at the moment being if Peeta is going to be okay.
"Let's just get this over with," Haymitch says.
"Remember everyone, no matter how upset we may be, smiles up when we step outside," Effie chirps.
"No promises," Haymitch comments for himself, but more for me and Peeta.
Peeta has always been the one between the two of us with having the publicity be his strongsuit. I pray that he will be able to control himself and act for the both of us as he always had in the past. The second the doors of the train open and we step out, everything breaks loose. Cameras start flashing, people start cheering and chanting our names, some people even cry, and the overwhelming amount of questions start. "Katniss, how far along are you?" "How has your pregnancy been?" "What happened the night the baby was conceived?" "Why did you want to keep this a secret?"
As if I was punched in the gut, my nausea came back at full force. Never would I have thought that my nausea would be worse than it was on the train, but I was wrong. I lean into Peeta more to keep myself from from falling over, as my head begins to feeling like a merry-go-round. I squeeze Peeta's hand, trying to get his attention. Through his smiling and small waves to the crowd he looks at me and asks, "Katniss, honey are you okay? You look a little green."
"I need to get out of here," Is all I say, not trusting opening my mouth anymore. Peeta nods his head in response and quickens our pace towards the car in front of us. Effie and Haymitch seem to understand as they quicken their speed as well. I manage to ignore all of the commotion around me and to focus on not getting sick or fainting in front of thousands of people until something catches my ear, making my heart drop to my stomach.
"Is that baby even Peeta's? I believe without a doubt that it's Gale Hawthorne's!"
Peeta must have heard that comment too because his grip on my hand tightens. If that gesture was to calm me down or to let out his anger is beyond me, but if one person said that, I can only imagine how many people are. Thankfully, Panem never found out what happened between Gale, Delly, Randy, Annie, and I. Panem knew that Annie had died and that her and Finnick's child were adopted mine and Peeta's close friends, but they did not know that I was kidnapped and raped by my best friend. Though I would love to see people hate Gale for what he had done, I would not be able to handle people knowing what was taken from me and how vulnerable I was in that state. Years later some people still give me sympathy for what I have gone through, but I wouldn't be able to stand having sympathy for those circumstances.
"Alright, that's enough questions!" Haymitch yells toward the crowd, though that only seems to make it worse as more questions fly our way, "Haymitch, why are you suddenly so defensive?" "What do you know that we don't know" "When was the last time you met with Gale Hawthorne?" "How is Peeta taking the news?" "Is this whole thing a lie?"
At this point I wish this whole thing were a lie.
Suddenly reality comes back to me as I'm being tugged into the car. As soon as the door closes and we're protected by the black windows, I allow a tear to fall from my eyes. I take in a deep breath and close my eyes, desperately trying to make this feeling go away. Not just the feeling of nausea and fatigue and dizziness, but the feeling of remorse and guilt and lies. The feeling of Peeta's soft worn baker hands enclose around my elbows. I hear and feel him trying to bring me back from the thoughts I'm having, that he's saying things to make me feel better, but my ears have already decided to block everything out. I mentally scream at myself, saying how I should be asking Peeta if he were alright, if he felt like he was on the verge of an episode, but I couldn't even get myself to breathe properly.
But when I thought that I would be in this state forever, one of Peeta's hands drop down to my stomach, his thumb beginning to trace small circles. The small act instantly calms the harsh waves that were taking over and, to my surprise, a sigh of relief comes from my lips. I sink into Peeta's side, letting my tears fall freely, "Keep doing that."
"Keep doing what?" Peeta's voice is as gentle as waves coming to shore. I realize then that I'm the harshful waves that always destroy, but Peeta is the shore that calms me, the shore that I need to survive.
"That," is all I say, placing my hand on top of his. He leans his lips on the back of my head, letting me feel the small smile that crosses them, "Always." He answers back just as simple, continuing the small motion of his thumb. The baby kicks in response of her father's action, making a smile form on my lips as well.
In this moment I close my eyes and let myself imagine that we aren't in the Capitol. That someone didn't tell all of Panem that Peeta and I are having a baby and that we need to figure out who is was so nothing else happens. That the two of us sit on the couch at him, a blanket infolding the both of us, and Alice sitting on top of our legs, competing with whom she'll get more attention from. That Peeta and I could live a normal, happy life. Though that would never happen in a million years.
We arrive at the Capitol, thankfully to no crowd. I grab Peeta's hand a squeeze it as we get out of the car and make our way up the stairs that leave us thrashing with nightmares. As the doors open for the four of us, I feel Peeta's body begin to tense up. We're able to make it inside and get down the hall until he stops all together. Instantly, I stand in front of him, taking his other hand in mine, "Peeta, it's okay, it's not real."
"We're standing inside the damn Capitol, aren't we? I'd say it's pretty freaking real to me." He lets out a small laugh. By his comment I can't tell if he's joking or if it's the other him that's beginning to talk.
"Yes, we're in the Capitol but it's to find out who told all of Panem about our baby. That is the only reason why we're here, nothing more. We're here about our baby." I take his hand and press it against my stomach since it worked the last time.
Once again, his eyes flicker, but to my disappointment it isn't enough this time. "You sure that baby isn't Gale's?" My heart drops with tears threatening to fall. Did he really just say that? Out of the corner of my eye I see that the comment caught Haymitch and Effie off guard, too. "The rest of Panem seems to think it so why shouldn't I?"
"You shouldn't think it because it's not the truth. I wouldn't have a baby with anyone else because I only love you. You're my husband and I only want to create something as beautiful as a baby with you. We haven't seen Gale in five years. Do you remember what he did?" My eyes search his in a desperate attempt to bring him back. I know that if he doesn't get better in the next few minutes then he will have an episode.
His eyes turn back to the beautiful sea blue for only a moment to say, "Yes, I remember." The strain in his voice is prominent, as if he's using every ounce of strength in his body to come back.
"Then you know how that is a complete lie. Please come back to me, Peeta. Please." I press his hand harder against my stomach, not knowing what else to do. Usually, I'm able to handle these situations and can snap him out of his trance. This time though, I stupidly let his comments get to my head, though I know that he doesn't mean them.
Haymitch starts to come towards us, knowing that Peeta isn't going to get better from here but thankfully, right as he puts a hand on Peeta's shoulder, his shoulders slouch and the anger drops from his face. He looks at Haymitch who's kept his hand on his shoulder and looks between the two of us with a terrified expression on his face, "Please tell me I didn't hurt you. I don't remember what happened but I need to know if I hurt you."
I want to tell him that he did hurt me. That what he said crushed my heart and now will never leave my mind. But I can't tell him what he said and the effect it had on me. I know that when he's in that state that I shouldn't take to heart anything that he says because it's not my Peeta talking, but this time I let it, and now I can't get it out. Effie and Haymitch look at me with guilty eyes, the two of them thinking the same as I am. "No Peeta...you didn't hurt me."
Peeta can always catch when I'm not telling the truth, one of the things I love and hated about him. "Yes I did, I can tell you're lying. I told myself I would never lay a hand on you to hurt you or the baby. I told myself that even if I were fighting off an episode I would control myself enough to not hurt you. I didn't harm the baby, right? Please say that I didn't. Katniss I'm so sorry." At this point he has taken me in his arms, holding me as close as my bump will let us. He holds me back enough to look at my face for any wounds, but comes to no avail.
"Peeta, you didn't lay a finger on me or the baby," I leave it at that so he knows that he didn't physically harm me, but leaving it in the air that he hurt me emotionally. He opens his mouth to say something else but get's interrupted by a voice I haven't heard in years, "Brainless, is that you?"
I turn around, thankful to not look at the hurt in Peeta's face anymore. "Johanna!" I squeal. My hormones are all over the place because otherwise, I would never squeal.
Johanna walks down the hallway to meet us, yelling carelessly, "So loverboy here finally knocked you up? Doesn't look like you are by the looks of it."
I let out a small laugh and unzip my jacket to show her the small but noticeable bump. To my surprise, Johanna looked awed by what she's looking at. Never would I have thought that Johanna Mason would be interested in something like pregnancy, but maybe I was wrong. "I'm not as big as I should be at five months, but I like that I'm not so it's easier to hide for now."
"Okay ladies and gentlemen, our meeting with President Paylor is in two minutes!" Effie ushers her hands for us to continue walking down the hall.
Johanna, Haymitch, Effie and I catch up a little while we make our way to our destination but Peeta stays quiet. He is still thinking deeply about what he might have done, and I know that it is crushing him. If I were to tell Peeta what he had said, that could only bring more guilt rather than relief of knowing.
"What's wrong with Peeta?" Johanna asks. Her voice is barely above a whisper, no one being able to hear her that isn't standing next to her. I shake my head slightly and just mouth, "Episode." She only nods her head in response, knowing that it isn't something to be discussing at the moment.
We turn the corner to see President Paylor standing at the entrance of the door, "Katniss and Peeta Mellark. A pleasure to see all of you, even under the circumstances." She smiles at the group of us, her eyes then landing on Johanna, "Johanna Mason, a pleasure to see you here as well. I wasn't aware that you were arriving as well, but I'm glad you did. Now if you would all please come in so we get going."
The five of us enter the room, Paylor coming in last to close the door behind her. The room holds a long glass table with leather chairs screwed into the ground. One wall holds a screen which currently displays areas in and outside of the Capitol, and data base information that is beyond my head. I scan the room to see a few faces that I've never seen before but at the corner of the table all by himself sits Beetee. "Beetee," I breathe out, rushing over to him to embrace him in a hug.
"Katniss, a pleasure to see you again. You look lovely." Beetee says, holding my hand in his. Peeta and the others come over to greet Beetee as well, before we all take a seat at the table. Paylor sits at the head of the table while Beetee and a man whom I do not know sit on either side of her. Haymitch sits next to Beetee, Effie, and another man while Johanna, Peeta and I sit across from them.
"So we all know why we are here today, and again Katniss, Peeta, I am very sorry about this." Paylor starts, but Peeta and I don't interupt her to say okay, because it is anything but. She pauses a moment, as if waiting for our acceptance but once she realizes that we aren't going to say anything she continues, "The reason I have asked you to meet with us in the Capitol is because we do not know who has given out this information. The person, or persons, who had done so were able to hack into our systems to broadcast what they did. After we found out that paparazzi went to your house unauthorized we made sure that they had their sim cards erased even though they had all agreed not to do anything with the pictures. Someone that was there must have not been apart of the Capitol and someone how breached through."
Peeta and I make eye contact for the first time since the episode in the hallway. He takes my hand under the table, placing our linked hands on his lap. He gives a small squeeze to let me know that everything is going to be okay. "What are the step we have to take to figure this all out?" Peeta asks. For now, he seems to be back to himself, which I pray stays that way.
"Ah, that is where I come in. As you can see on the screen behind you. I have gone through the Capitols database to try and find anything out of the usual, but to no avail. Nothing looks out of the ordinary, and the data shows no signs of being hacked into." Beetee explains to the group.
"So what does that mean?" Johanna asks, looking rather angered by the fact that there was no usual information given to us.
"So that means that this 'hacker' so to say could potentially be in the Capitol, possibly even as we speak. Now, that is highly unpossible, but not completely. If this person is not in the Capitol, then they have gotten access into my personal database, as I am in charge of all databases, and wiped out everything that they have done, which is extremely difficult for me not to notice. But here we sit, with no practical information."
"With that being said, we have Reedus and Klaugh here to help and assist Beetee. We are going to make sure that nothing like this will happen again. We might not have caught them in the act this time, but if they were to do it again we'll know for sure who it is. The three are still going through and trying to find anything between the lines, but until then it is all a waiting game." Paylor gives a sympathetic smile.
None of this information let any weight off of my chest, let alone for anyone else. We all still sit here with the anger and concern on our faces that we had the assumption would go away when we left this room.
"No offense, President Paylor, but why couldn't you have just said this over the phone," Haymitch asks the question that must have been in all of our heads.
"Haymitch!" Effie scolds, though she says nothing more.
Paylor sighs, "We were certain that by the time you got here we would have information. We didn't realize how perplex this was going to be. But if you are able to stay for a few nights I'm sure that we will find something. If we don't, I was notified that there were thousands of people at the trainstation when you got off, so if this person is in the Capitol they would have gotten a picture."
"This person was also able to find out that the four of you were coming to the Capitol. We have not told anyone of your arrival besides the few who had to know. This either means that our telephones were bugged or they had hacked into our system to review our calls. Either way, they found out and told." Beetee adds.
I sigh, placing a hand on my bump in attempts to calm my nerves. Peeta seems to notice and let's go of my hand to put his on my stomach and rub small circles just like he did in the car. Some of my nerves bubble away, the tension in my shoulders slacking a little. "Now Katniss, Peeta, we do not want to add more stress on either of you with the pregnancy and episodes, but we will handle this situation, I promise you that." President Paylor eyes everyone in the room, waiting for someone to say something that they feel is needed.
"We'll stay for two days. If nothing has come up by then, we will go back to our District." Peeta answers.
I look over at him, wondering why he had agreed to stay longer in the place that gives him nightmares. I then realize that, again, he is doing this for me. "Peeta, we don't have to stay. I know how hard this is on you and I don't want you fight off episodes everyday, it takes so much out of you."
"I don't want you worrying about me. Besides, we need to figure all of this out and if that means staying here for a few days then we'll do it." The tone of Peeta's voice shows that he's made his decision and will not budge.
Haymitch and I make eye contact from across the table but don't say anything. We know the two of us will be having a conversation about this later.
"Katniss, I assure you that Reedus, Klaugh, and I will find out who has done this and put a stop to it. We just need some time, or for them to make another move, and I have a strong feeling that they will." I don't know if Beetee thought that would make me feel better but it makes a chill go down my spine.
I nod my head, not truly trusting that they will find any information. Beetee has been able to crack anything, and if he hasn't found anything now, there's no chance that he will.
By this point I have had enough of the "maybe's" and "if's" that keep floating around the room. "Is there anything else we need to know or are we free to leave?"
All eyes land on me, surprised by my change of mood and of finally opening my mouth, but I just look at everyone in the room for an answer. President Paylor sighs, nodding her head, "You may leave. We have a hotel already set up for you. A car will be outside for you to bring you there. Again, I'm sorry that this is all we have for you right now."
Peeta and Haymitch answer Paylor, but I'm too worn out to say anything. I nod my head at Beetee and stand from my seat, Peeta's hand dropping from my stomach. Anxiety starts to bubble at the pit of my stomach, my head becoming fuzzy. All of this information that wasn't even really information at has only added to the stress that's already been weighing down on me. It hits me now where I'm standing. This place has destroyed me, not only during the games, but before. No one could ever have a normal, happy childhood because you were too afraid that you, a family member, or friend would get reaped. Seam children would have the worst of it, some to the point of starving to death. The Capitol has ripped me from my freedom and my teenage years; my life all together. This place has ruined my husband all together. Peeta Mellark, the caring, gentle, intelligent boy whose only deserved the best was killed from the inside out. He is the same Peeta that I fell in love with, but he's been tampered with to the point where he can't fix it.
"Katniss," Peeta's voice brings me back. He puts his hand on the small of my back, guiding me out of the room, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," I all but whisper.
Peeta looks at me, catching me in my lie like he always does, "Don't worry, we'll be out of here in two minutes."
I look up down the hall in front of me and hold in a gasp at what is before me. Finnick Odair. I blink once, twice, then suddenly, he was gone. I turn my head to look at the others to see if they saw what I saw but when I look over I catch a glimpse in a mirror. In that mirror stands Cato, a grin plastered on his beat up face. I whip my head back when we turn a corner and there, at the end of the hallway stands Rue...and Prim. My brain tells me to stop walking, to stand where I am and breakdown. Im screaming at myself, wondering why my feet continue to walk. Within seconds I'm face to face with the two girls that had a huge part in my heart. They're eyes, pouring deeply into mine, only stare. Just as I'm face to face, they disappear and I'm heading out the Capitol doors.
The doors are open to thousands of people, as many that were at the train station, and a few hundred more on top of that. My eyes blur from the daylight and the camera's flashing, a pool of people flooding me in attempts to drown. Everywhere I look, people are waving and jumping and screaming, some even shoving to get closer to the front of the crowd. No matter how many times I blink, nothing goes away. The car door opens in front of me, Peeta guiding me in. I turn my head around to look outside one more time, to all the people, and the people who've been murdered by the Capitol. But as the door closes and the chauffeur drives away, I could swear a bulky, brunette haired boy shuffles toward the front of the crowd.
When we all had gotten to the hotel, we decide that we all need to rest and that we'll see each other in the morning. I apologize to Johanna, though she called me an idiot for being so apathetic and went to her room. The sky is pitch black now, Peeta and I just now laying in bed. I lay flat on my back, Peeta crawling in bed to lay next to me, a arm draped across my stomach. Sleep is only but seconds away when a voice next to my ear awakens me, "Katniss?"
"Peeta?"
"Please tell me what I did to hurt you when I had an episode." Peeta's eyes which are full of grief bore into mine.
"Peeta-"
"No Katniss, I need you to tell me, right now. I can't live with myself knowing that I hurt you."
I sigh, sitting up in bed to face him, "I told you that you didn't hurt me."
Peeta sits up as well, taking his hands in mine, "Then what did I say to you? I did something and I need to know."
I take a deep breath, looking down at the covers. Peeta will be Peeta and he will not give up until I tell him what had happened. "I don't want you to beat yourself up about it-"
"Tell me, Katniss," Peeta urges.
Tears threaten to fall from my face, my hormones taking over. My shoulders slack in defeat, knowing that he is going to be just as hurt as I am when I tell him. My voice comes out small, the hurt in my voice prominent, "You thought that the baby was Gales."
"Katniss...I'm...oh my god, I can't believe I said that..I'm so sorry," This is what I didn't want to happen. Peeta sounds so defeated with himself, like he's done the worst act in the world.
"Peeta, I know you didn't mean it," I can't get my voice to become more than a whisper, as I try desperately to keep the tears in. A hand gently takes my chin and guides me to look up at two sad blue eyes. A tear escapes Peeta's eye when he looks at my face, "Kat you're crying. I know you took what I said to heart, and I'm so, so sorry. I can't forgive myself for that."
"I know what you say isn't what you truly think. We're in the Capitol, and when some people questioned if the baby was his, it got stuck in your head even though you know the truth. You didn't mean it, and I'm just too hormonal to tell myself not to take it to heart."
Peeta takes my face in his hands, connecting my lips with his. He starts to apologize again but I tell him not to talk and kiss him again. Within seconds the kiss deepens, Peeta lightly pushing me onto my back. He hovers over me, trailing kisses from my jaw down to my neck, kissing all the way to my stomach. When he reaches his destination, he pulls his shirt that I'm wearing up to my breasts, leaving a patch of kisses across my bump, "Your Daddy love you so much, my little Poppy Seed. And I love your mommy just as much. Don't you ever forget that."
And there you have it everyone, chapter 14. I hope you all liked it, let me know if you did! I may or may not skip forward a little bit in time in the next chapter, I haven't decided yet. I have in mind what I want to do for future chapters, but I don't know if I should do it yet or not because then it'll be rushing the story. I'm not sure when I'll update next because I don't know what I exactly want to do for the next chapter, but I'll try to get it up by a month.
Again, please leave a review because I love to read what you guys think and it gives me more motivation to write these!
Thank you so much for reading this story and make sure to follow it if you haven't already!