This is a work of fan fiction, created for entertainment purposes only and with no claim to the characters depicted. Ownership of RWBY characters and concepts belongs to Rooster Teeth. Dungeons and Dragons and the d20 System belong to Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. The World of Ere setting belongs to Landon Porter and Paradox-Omni Entertainment.
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Chapter 14: Prank Wars I: The Pranking Menace
"So... you know the Winter Formal is coming up in a couple of weeks."
That's how Jaune broke the brief silence as they got out of his car and started across the parking lot.
Pyrrha didn't even bother getting her hopes up, just replying with a noncommittal hum. Instead, she just hoped Jaune was about to go on about who he was going to ask. All she asked of the universe was that it wasn't Weiss again.
"I was thinking about asking that new girl, Cinder."
The universe was really working for its check this week.
"Cinder Fall?" She made a real effort not sound judgmental, but... "Didn't she get kicked out of her old school for trying to burn it down?" ...regardless of what she felt, she couldn't just sit idly by and let her best friend date an actual dangerous criminal.
"Allegedly," Jaune said defensively, "She was acquitted. Besides, Buffy burned down her high school and that doesn't mean she was a bad person."
"Buffy's fictional, Jaune."
"I know that, I just didn't have a lot of real life examples... you know of real life good arsonists or Cinder doing good stuff. Actually don't know much of anything about her except she made the cheer squad and she plays World of Remnant." He rubbed the back of his neck.
Pyrrha gave him a sidelong look. She really didn't want to get involved in this, but there were now burning questions in her mind. "Okay... first, if you don't know anything about her, why do you want to ask her out?"
He gave a little chuckle. "Well it goes the other way, right? I know nothing about her, she knows nothing about me. See, I finally figured out my problem: Girls who know me know all my flaws, all my screw-ups, all the... Weiss stuff last year? Nope. Not this time. Clean slate. It's really the only way."
The way he finished that sentence, the breezy certainty, was the saddest thing she'd heard in a long time. Something in her compelled her to ask, "Or... why not find someone who knows all your flaws and screw-ups, and the Weiss thing... and still likes you. You know, for who you are."
This time he actually laughed. "Like that's gonna happen."
At this, Pyrrha felt her eye twitch. All she wanted for a white hot second was to grab him by the shoulders and yell. Like forever. Just on to the heat death of the universe, just yelling. Maybe there would be words, but mostly the yelling. "Okay..." Even she heard her voice waiver as she bit back the first of what would have to be infinite screams. "On to the other question... when you say World of Remnant, you mean..."
Jaune grit his teeth. "The MMO, yes."
"You pitched a fit when I started playing!" She didn't care that some people looked over at them. Plenty of other people had had this kind of reaction to something Jaune had said in the past, herself included.
He at least had the decency to avert his eyes as they hit the walk up to the front doors. "Maybe..."
"I recall a half hour speech about how computer RPGs were ruining all roleplaying and how I was contributing to the downfall of society."
"Yeah... well maybe I was a little harsh..."
Pyrrha's palm met her face. "Oh no."
"I never really gave it a chance..."
"Here it comes," she muttered.
"So I thought perhaps..." Jaune scratched his chin with one hand while pulling open one of the doors, letting her go in before him.
Pyrrha sighed. "You want me to help you power level so you can pretend you've been playing for a long time." He followed her through the doors, giving her a simple, hopeful look. She stopped in the middle of the hall and caught him by the shoulders. "Jaune... you know normally I would do anything for you."
And it was true. Even if it meant helping him get a date with a girl her liked.
Anything for him.
"I'm sensing a 'but' here," he didn't even sound that disappointed.
"But," she nodded, "I'm not going to help you deceive some random girl you don't even like." Jaune started to protest, but she cut him off, knowing exactly what he'd say. "No, you don't really like her. You only want to go out with her because she knows nothing about you. And you don't know anything about her. This is just... wrong."
Releasing him, she turned and headed for her locker, taking a deep breath to calm herself.
"Okay, so you're not wrong," Jaune had to jog a little to keep up. "But I was just thinking it'd be... you know, nice to actually go on a date to a dance, you know? A-and hey, if I got a date, that'd finally free you up to go with someone you like right?"
Ironically the fact that even while concocting an ill-thought—actually highly immoral—plan, he still thought of her feelings was one of the things she really liked about him. Never mind the fact that if he did get a date, it would ensure she wouldn't be going with someone she liked.
Making a noncommittal noise, Pyrrha started dialing her combination into her locker.
Of course Jaune couldn't leave well enough alone. "So... fingers crossed... if I do get a date... got any prospects?"
Just because she liked him didn't mean she didn't sometimes have the overwhelming urge to strangle him. Maybe it would be best for her to just swallow her fear, take the risk and tell him how she felt.
"Look Jaune, I—WHA!"
She had just enough time after opening her locker to see the huge, teetering pile of paper as it tipped out her locker before it fell on her, knocking her into Jaune and sending both of them to the ground. The next thing she knew, she had her best friend's knee in her side and a face full of slips of paper.
Groaning in concert with Jaune and ignoring the gawking horde of classmates who arrived immediately to witness whatever the hell just happened, Pyrrha got herself into a sitting position and started brushing the papers off her person.
It took her a moment to realize there were things printed on what she now recognized as coupons.
A dollar off acne cream.
Buy one get one free young miss training bras.
25% off ultra-absorbant feminine napkins.
Her eye started twitching again around the same time some of the gawkers started reading said coupons and chortling behind her back.
Luckily (to a certain value of 'luck'), a familiar voice cut in over all the others. "Alright, nothing to see here, move along people. You have business to attend to. No rubbernecking, you hear!" Nora pushed through the crowd, followed closely be Ruby. They were both wearing ill-fitting blazer jackets over their street clothes along with sunglasses. Nora was carrying crime scene tape and starting to string it around Pyrrha's locker.
The amazing thing was that Pyrrha didn't have to wonder where she got that; Nora had pestered Ruby's uncle Qrow for a roll of it until he finally relented and tossed her what he had in the trunk of his patrol car.
Apparently ignoring both Pyrrha and Jaune on the floor, Ruby sidled over to the nearest drift of coupons and picked up one good for two for one red hair dye. Wearing a very serious look on her face, she touched the paper to her tongue, then nodded.
"Yep," she said to no one in particular, "This... this is definitely a prank."
"You got that from tasting paper?" Jaune asked, sitting up next to Pyrrha.
Ruby shook her head. "Nah, I just did that because TV cops do it all the time with drugs—no idea why. I figured out it was a prank from that." She pointed at the still-open door of Pyrrha's locker, on the inside of which was a sheet of paper baring a chibi image of Yang pulling down here eyelid and sticking out her tongue above the legend, 'Begun This Prank War Has'.
A shiver ran down Pyrrha's spine. She remembered well the previous year and the war between Yang and Blake. The war had flown so wildly out of control that the two, plus Weiss, Coco Adel, and two people Pyrrha didn't even know had been suspended for two days.
"Why me?"
Ruby shrugged. "You're a safe target. Yang can have her fun, but knows you'd never go far enough to get her in trouble. Or if I'm being honest, we both know your pranks usually barely count as pranks at all."
"I've pulled off some good pranks before!" she said defensively, "I... I hid all of Weiss's toiletries when we went to State last year!"
"For all of five minutes before being overcome with guilt." Ruby pointed out. Then she got a thoughtful look. "Buuut, if you really want to prove you can fight back, I suppose I could help you out. I mean I have learned the art of pranking from Yang herself and I can get you access to her room." Upon seeing Pyrrha start to brighten, she added, "But that's putting my neck on the line—Yang will straight up maul me when she finds out I'm helping you. Sooo... I gotta charge you. How's twenty bucks sound?"
Thanks to her parent's continual guilt at having to be out of town so often, Pyrrha had a rather excessive allowance. Twenty dollars was pretty much no object. Still...
"Do you promise not to get anyone suspended or expelled."
The younger girl took a moment to think. "You're tying my hands but... deal." She put out a hand to shake.
"Yeeeeeeeah!"
Ruby, Pyrrha and Jaune all took a second to stare at Nora.
"What? Are we not spoofing CSI anymore?"
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Later that day, Jaune found himself in what for anyone else might be a rather skeevy position: loitering outside the girls' locker room. Luckily for him, after many, many odd looks, people now accepted that he was just there waiting for Pyrrha to drive her home.
As per usual, he was leaning against the wall, playing with his phone.
That's why he never saw it coming before a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder and pinned him against said wall.
"Arc." His eyes flew up from his phone's screen to meet Yang's. Were her eyes glowing red?
"I-uh—wha?" It took him a second to grok to the situation he suddenly found himself in. First, Yang was wearing a towel. A big, fluffy, well-tucked towel, but to a heterosexual teen-aged boy, that wasn't the point. Second (and it spoke to how much of a teen-aged boy Jaune Arc was that this was second), she was green.
Green like Captain Kirk's prom date. From hands to shoulders to hair, she was completely green.
And crushing his shoulder in her grip.
"Where is she?" Yang growled.
Unable to not stare, it took Jaune a second to reply. "Wha—who? Where is who?"
Usually Yang was friendly enough with Jaune. He was friends with her little sister and in a few of her classes, and unless they set off one of her berserk buttons, Yang tended to get on with everyone anyway.
This was not one of those normal circumstances.
"Who do you think! There's only one person you're always with. One person who, if you spent any more time with, it would count as a common law marriage." She got only a blank stare at that and growled. "Pyrrha. Where's Pyrrha?"
"Why?" Jaune asked dumbly.
Now he was sure her eyes had turned red. "Are you kidding me? Look what she did to my hair!"
Jaune squinted. "Your hair? What about the rest of you?"
"Eh, it's drink mix, it'll wash out—but messing with the hair? I don't care how easy it is to wash out, that's crossing a line. She. Will. Pay." She held up a bottle of shampoo onto which someone had crudely pasted a label with a chibi image of Pyrrha throwing a peace sign while blowing a raspberry.
"Look Yang, I really kind of doubt Pyrrha would..."
He stopped talking because the part of his brain inherited from an ancestry of small rodents was screaming at him that he was in the presence of a predator and it was time to freeze in place and pray he wasn't noticed.
As it turned out, Yang's vision was not motion-dependent. She just continued staring him down. "And you're going to help." A cruel smile spread across her face. "Yeah, that's a good idea. You can get me access. If I pull my best pranks off school property, I can't get suspended for them—it's perfect!"
Jaune glared at her. "Whoa. I am not going to sell Pyrrha out like that. Maybe you forgot from like five minutes ago when you pointed it out, but she's my best friend."
"I'll pay you."
"Would you do this to Blake if someone paid you?"
"It really depends how much..." she replied thoughtfully.
Jaune glared again, then flicked his gaze back to his phone. After some quick math, he finally said. "Seventy-five bucks."
"Wait. What? That's insane!" Yang balked.
"Just as insane as getting into a prank war with Pyrrha," Jaune pointed out. "You think she's too nice and inept at pranking, but you forgot: you just made this a competition. Do you remember when she played soccer?"
A shadow fell over Yang's face as the memory of weeks of barked shins and bruises washed over her. "Red Card..."
"Yeah. And you haven't seen how savage she gets over even peaceful competitions like science fairs. I've been her partner for those—I'm not even sure how I'm still alive! So yeah, seventy-five dollars will give me enough to get her a kickass present for her birthday that doubles as a peace offering when she wants to hate me for helping you."
"But I've been saving to get my bike detailed. Mike's Autoshop has a Super-Deluxe package for $125 and my baby deserves pampering."
Jaune folded his arms. "You could always just concede the prank war."
"I didn't even..." Yang shook her head. That was never an option. A Xiao Long or Branwen losing a prank war, let alone conceding one? She'd have to move out of the house in shame. She half-suspected that's why her mom felt she had to leave. "Fine. You've got a deal."
Unbeknownst to the pair, two sets of eyes were watching the proceedings from a supply closet.
"Why am I here again?" Ren asked, shooting Weiss a glare.
"Because you're the only one currently unaffiliated in this prank war. Ruby and Nora are helping Pyrrha, Jaune is helping Yang and we both know Blake will help Yang too. That leaves you to help me."
The magenta-eyed young man leaned back against a sink. "And why are you even involved? No one's pranked you."
"True, but everyone loves watching Yang's prank wars. It's probably a huge reason she's so well-liked. So if I can show Yang up, I can reap some of that popularity for myself!"
Ren rolled his eyes. "I'm still not seeing why I'm supposed to help. With Nora occupied, I can catch up on studying and sleep. It's not like you're—"
"I will pay you handsomely of course." Whipping out a sheet of paper, Weiss quickly scribbled a number on it.
Looking upon it, Ren suddenly felt that studying and sleeping weren't a priority any longer. "I'm in."
"Excellent."Weiss said, steepling her fingers. "Now. First thing's first... come up with a good prank we can pull for me, please."
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AN: So I'm back! Or rather, I'm here now. I just moved ~500 miles, so writing wasn't a thing that was happening for the past couple of weeks.
Anyway, I'm back in action and doing my write thing, starting with a new Game On update.
One difference between this fic and Arc Reaction or NYSG is that I'm very consciously making Pyrrha the romantic lead over Jaune for this one. For on, I feel it's her turn. For another, having a high school AU of these characters lays bare the psychological issue at the heart of their relationship.
Whether it was intentional or not, Jaune's 'obliviousness' feels to me more like a symptom of his low self esteem. When you're thinking so lowly of oneself, it's hard to accept on a conscious level that someone sees something in you unless it's very directly stated. I know this because I was there in high school, had self esteem that low, and did, in fact miss not one but two girls who had romantic feelings for me. Even the Weiss thing fits because someone with low self esteem will go after someone they know is unattainable feeling that succeeding with give them worth, or that failing on that level won't be as painful.
So Game On!Jaune is in that place and that shuts off any idea of him actively pursuing or even allowing himself to consider Pyrrha might want to be with him right now. Breaking that down becomes the conflict for this subplot for Pyrrha and I think it will play out pretty well.
Someone made a note that a lot of money is changing hands in this group. I suppose, but these are for the most part upper middle class to actually rich kids. Translating the privilege of Hunters to a more realistic AU has that effect. It should be noted that aside from Weiss, Pyrrha and Nora, the others are usually tapping themselves out to make these bets and such, so it's not like they have infinite money.
Anyway, hope you guys like this
Next Chapter: Prank Wars II: Attack and the Scones.