DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in this story. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

CHAPTER 13

Realization

ooOoo

Jacob's PoV

So the day has finally come, Bella would come visit me!

It's been months since she visited me at La Push. Ever since that bastard came back, he kept her as far away from me as possible, but now he was gone, and I would take care of her.

The moment she arrived, I took her in my arms and spun around with her. She punched my shoulder to make me put her down, and after a moment, I did. She smelled of vampires. I was used to it, though – besides after a while, the foul stench would disappear.

'Bells! I'm so happy you came!' I exclaimed when I put her down. She grinned slightly.

'So I see,' she remarked, punching my shoulder once again.

'Let's go to Emily's, I'm hungry' I commanded, dragging her through the forest path to the little wooden house that Sam and Emily lived in.

She frowned and followed me at a very slow pace. Much like a stubborn donkey, unwilling to listen to its' master.

But, I shouldn't voice that thought.

'Are you sure this is a good idea? They haven't seen me since Edward came back…' Bella complained after a few minutes. She surprised me with the mention of Edward – I guess she's better, after all. Zombie mode did not return.

'Don't be silly.' I replied shortly as we reached the wooden hut. The smell that came from inside the house was very, very inviting.

I barged in as if it was my own house, with Bella following me shyly.

'Just in time, Jacob' Emily smiled, setting down an extra plate on the table in their very small, but also very clean and cozy kitchen. Paul and Embry were there as well, anxiously waiting for the food just like I was. I sat down next to Paul, but his attention immediately turned to Bella, who was stood in the doorstep, seemingly afraid to come in. Silly girl.

'Bella! Hey, vampire girl!' he shouted, getting up from his chair with Embry right behind him. They both embraced Bella, who returned their hug.

'Hey, Paul, Embry,' she spoke quietly, 'And, Emily.'

Emily turned her eyes to Bella somewhat reluctantly, but she responded to Bella's friendly smile with the same gesture, then reached into the cupboard for one more plate, and handed it to me. I placed it on the table right next to mine.

'I hope you're hungry, Bella. They eat enough, somebody has to help me or they will eat all of it themselves.' Both the girls laughed softly and Bella sat next to me, right where I wanted her to be. Emily brought a huge pan filled with delicious steaks. Paul immediately tore the pan away from her and stole a majority of them, so we got in a… minor argument about the food. Meanwhile, Bella and Emily settled with one each and began eating, joking about our silliness.

After we finished eating, I took Bella out for a walk, hoping to talk to her; unfortunately, the outcome was rather disappointing.

She was pretty unresponsive, much like the last time we talked – in the sense that she listened, but did not say much.

I couldn't help but notice that she seemed sad, and the impression grew by the minute.

'Bells? What's wrong?' I asked her, finally giving up on trying to grab her attention otherwise.

She sighed and looked down to the ground, avoiding my gaze.

'Jake, I know it's still early, but I gotta go,' she said in a quiet, unhappy voice. 'I've got to meet someone.'

'Who?'

'I kind of messed things up with someone I care about,' she admitted, 'I need to go see them and apologize.'

She didn't really answer my question, but I got the hint. None of your business, Jacob.

I walked her to the car, not trying to say much else. She waved at me and drove away, pushing her old truck to the limits.

Something tells me that even with one Cullen gone, I still don't stand a chance at winning Bella's heart.

ooOoo

Jasper's PoV

The realization hit me hard, leaving me shocked and somehow… defenseless.

Constantly focused on Bella's feelings and her well being, I ignored the change in my own emotions, and even when I did notice it, I didn't quite recognize it.

So this is how it feels when you go past friendship?

No, I cannot do this. Bella is a human girl, who's heart has been broken by my own brother. She hasn't fully recovered – I knew that better than anyone else did – and even if she did recover, she would never look at me that way. How could she? How could anyone?

Forgiving and compassionate as Bella may be, no one would love the monster I'd once been.

Love?

Is this how it feels?

The thought of losing her, nearly ripping my heart out. Something so simple as a smile on her lips, making me feel more alive than I'd ever been.

Every minute without her, an eternity. The overwhelming wish to protect her, no matter the cost.

Is that it?

I have never felt that way with Alice…

I have read thousands of books, a lot of them spoke of love. I have sensed hundreds of forms of love coming from human beings and vampires. Yet, I have never felt anything remotely close to what I felt right now.

Is that how love feels?

I allowed the possibility to sink in, I no longer denied it right away, but at the same time I did not allow myself to admit how strong the feelings were. This wasn't the right time.

No matter how I felt about her – and I'd have to be a fool to say I didn't feel anything – I caused her pain today. I, who vowed to protect her, I hurt her over something so insignificant, over seeing Jacob Black.

The little hint of jealousy surprised me. Could it be it wasn't only Bella's safety I worried about?

Nonsense.

I couldn't help but wonder if she is safe. If she is upset. If I hurt her as badly as I've hurt myself.

I hope not.

What was she doing right now? The burden on my chest became unbearable as each and every dark scenario reappeared in my head; what if something happened to Bella, and I wouldn't be there to protect her? And even if she was safe with the wolf pack, if she came home safely, how could I ever allow her to sleep without trying to make amends for the horrible words I said to her earlier?

A phone call was not enough; I had to see her in person. She was surely still in La Push, at the wolf territory. I remembered the last time I crossed the border for her sake – how hostile they'd been, and I recalled the worry Carlisle has gone through when I broke the news to him afterwards.

Could I do it again?

I have no choice, I thought, as I jumped out of the window of our house and ran into the woods.

ooOoo

Bella's PoV

The more time had passed since my fight with Jasper, the worse I had felt.

To think that this could actually damage our growing friendship nearly broke me in two. After barely two hours, I completely ignored Jacob and drove away, determined to see Jasper.

I've got to make things right. I cannot afford to lose him.

A part of me wondered, why is this so important? Why do I have this giant lump in my throat? Why does it feel like I can't breathe?

Who cares why. I've got to see Jasper, now.

Comparing him to Edward… That was just low, Bella! Ugh! Jasper was an angel in disguise, while Edward was quite the opposite. How could I ever say such a thing?

I didn't know why he wanted to keep me from going to La Push, but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was how I treated him, and I dare say I treated him badly. I'm so angry at myself.

Just when I was about to drive out of the woods of La Push, I noticed a familiar figure at the side of the road. He stood there, motionless, his eyes stuck to me.

Jasper!

I pulled my car to a stop immediately and ran towards the vampire, meeting him halfway.

I stood in front of him, feeling my heartbeat increase, and finally looked up to meet his eyes. I expected to see anger, but I saw none of it. They were full of concern and other emotions which I could not name.

He didn't give me the chance to speak first.

'Bella… What are you doing here? I thought you would be with Jacob much longer,' he asked calmly, swiftly taking off his leather jacket and putting it on me before I could realize. His cold hand touched my shoulder in the process. Why did a chill just run down my spine?

'I wanted to see you,' I admitted, not tearing my eyes away from his.

'I was determined to wait for you here, or even cross the border if I had to,' he admitted, surprising me greatly.

'You were?' I whispered, suddenly worried about him.

'I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have acted the way that I did,' Jasper frowned, and the expression of pain and worry on his face made me want to hold him, but I knew I should not act on my feelings.

'No, I'm sorry. I can't believe I said that. It was hurtful and mean and unnecessary and…' he interrupted me at that point, in a way I could not expect, in a way that although I'd rather not admit, made my heart melt. He gave me a meaningful look, and then lifted his hand, bringing it close to my cheek. He hesitated for a moment, but soon I felt his cold fingers on my skin, brushing it ever so softly, sending pleasant chills through my entire body. The sweet caress lasted but a few seconds, but the memory of his touch lingered for many days.

'I just…' he began, 'I just… I care about you, Bella…' he said, but quickly corrected himself, 'I care about your safety… I'm sorry I acted the way that I did. I didn't know how to say that I don't want you to go.'

He caught me off guard.

With his fingers on my cheek, with the honesty shining through his voice, with the serious, deep look in his golden eyes that pierced right through me, all the way to my soul.

I was speechless, helpless, and my mind was out of control.

It felt like I would never tear my eyes away from him. Why should I, if he was the only person I wanted to see?

We didn't say anything for what felt like a long time, but the silence was meaningful. I looked at him and saw someone I truly cared about, depended on, the one person who never failed me. The one person I trusted.

The one person who knew me.

I don't know where my thoughts would have led me, if Jasper did not look away, suddenly looking wary. He frowned, and moments later I realized what he had sensed. A loud howl pierced my ears, causing me to turn around and notice the three large wolves standing by my car in defensive positions.

I recognized Jake, but he did not look at me, instead looking at Jasper with obvious hostility in his eyes.

'I am sorry. I come in peace,' Jasper assured, looking at them without fear, but the beasts did not look convinced, still letting out angry growls everynow and again.

So we are too close to their territory…

What if they attack Jasper?

I cannot let that happen!

'I asked him to come!' I lied quickly, and all four pairs of eyes turned to me. Jasper looked at me in silent astonishment.

'I asked him to come. I'm sorry. Jake, let us go, we won't stay here' I pleaded, looking my friend in the eyes. I saw a hint of pain twist his features for a moment, but he barked once and turned around, followed by his two companions, leaving me and Jasper alone.

The vampire shook his head, seeming both worried and impressed.

'You surprised me yet again, miss Swan.' He stated, a small grin appearing on his lips. I smiled back.

'It wasn't a good idea, though,' he added in a more serious tone, 'Don't ever risk your own safety for mine.'

I wanted to reply something to that, but he was already by the car, holding the door open for me. I decided to let it go and give in to happiness – he forgave me, he was safe, and he was here. More than enough reasons to feel happy; something I felt surprisingly often when Jasper was around.

He drove me home in my old truck, and then disappeared into the falling twilight. Everything was forgiven, and we were friends again. I'd see him tomorrow at school, I looked forward to it, a lot.

But why did only three words come to my mind for the rest of the evening?

Three words. Not spoken by me, not spoken by him. Just three, seemingly random, words.

I miss you.

ooOoo

A/N: If you were worried about how things would work out between Bella and Jasper, I hope you worry no more! Next chapter, things will get interesting. Expect to see an old… Friend.

On a side note, thank you so much for all your reviews. They make me a super-happy panda. ^_^