Author's note: thanks a lot for the encouraging feedback guys=) I love hearing what you think!
Big thanks to Hamlet, who pointed out my grammar mistakes, I will go over the work once more to try and to catch those. I swear I'm putting an effort, going over each chapter several times editing to make it readable. Also, I'm using Grammarly Chrome extension, which helps a lot with spelling, commas, etc. (I recommend) But the two things you named are definitely my weak spot. Tenses and articles I use mostly according to "feel" and my feeling is hardly reliable;D But I will try to pay more attention to it^^
English is actually my third language. First being Russian (Привет Нашим, по статистике вижу, что меня читают и в России тоже, поэтому можете не стесняться и оставлять отзывы на русском. Мне так даже приятнее;)) and second being Czech (Koukám, že pár lidí z ČR mě taky čte, jestli jsem si to teda nenaklikala sama, hehe;D takže se taky nestyďte a můžete mi klidně napsat komentář i česky, případně slovensky;))
Anyway, I'd like to use this opportunity to remind those, who enjoy my work and would be willing to help, that I'm still in need of a beta!
That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter=)
#-&-HP-&-#
"I went to see my owl," Harry said, making the girl in front of him jump in surprise. He was tailing her on Marauder's Map all day, waiting for a moment to catch her alone. Now he finally got an opportunity in the female changing room of Slytherin Quidditch team, where Nalanell was the only girl. Harry did cast a couple of protection spells to secure privacy for his confrontation. He was definitely not happy about the trick she played on him. Well, making up with Snape was important and he was grateful for it, but he couldn't help feeling cheated out of the promised date. Nalanell knew all too well, how Harry is going to interpret that note.
"Potter, I think you are lost. This is a Slytherin female changing room. Last time I checked, you were neither," Nalanell remarked coolly, masking her alarm over the fact that she didn't notice Harry enter the room. She almost undressed right there in front of him!
"Guilty as charged," Harry grinned in reply, "It's surprisingly hard to catch you alone."
"Then don't," she resisted the childish urge to stick a tongue out at him.
"Guess who is going to be in detention for the rest of the school year?" Harry asked with mock sternness, crossing his arms on the chest in the best Snape's impression.
"Oh please, that would make Snape admit that he was outplayed by a mere student," Nell replied rolling her eyes demonstratively.
"Why did you do it though?"
"Your mudb.. your muggleborn friend, Granger, approached me," she quickly corrected herself, remembering that she was not in the company of Slytherins, "She said you were having a hard time by being a stubborn bull refusing to reconcile with Snape and asked me for help. I have to admit it was not even a challenge," Nalanell sneered haughtily. But despite her usual attitude, there was an underlying message - she cared enough to help him.
"Hmm, I guess it will be up to me to punish you then," Harry commented slyly, and approached the girl, an evil smirk playing on his lips. Nell looked at him uncertainly, and took a couple of steps back warily, till she hit the wall. Her hand reached back instinctively to find her wand, though there was no doubt, that Potter would outduel her with his eyes closed.
"How?" she gasped panicking slightly at being cornered.
Harry put both hands against the wall, cutting out potential escape routes. He was so close to her, he could feel her heart beating frantically, as she caught her breath nervously. That's right, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
"Something tailored specifically for you, Miss Cross," he breathed out, his voice low and husky, leaning down and brushing his lips against hers in a soft gentle kiss. As the girl's body went meek under him and she melted into his advances, Harry's confidence grew. He cupped her face running a hand through her hair, pressing his body against hers, his kiss becoming more demanding, more passionate, more punishing. He was finally taking charge and doing what he wanted to that pouty mouth ever since she entered Snape's office during his first detention. For all the lip she gave him, all the snarky hateful attitude she demonstrated, this was the ultimate sweet revenge - having the girl respond to his kiss as if admitting that she liked him all along. How's that for a marshmallow?
Nalanell's mind was torn with conflicting feelings. The surge of endorphins making her lightheaded, clouding her judgment and silencing a small voice in the back of her head, that kept nagging at her, what a bad idea this was. She found herself returning his kiss despite not wanting to, her body having apparently a mind of its own. Good Death Eater! Voldemort will be delighted! But was it really so bad kissing the Boy Who Lived? Surely it wasn't any worse than helping Snape train him. No, it was not the kiss itself, it was her actually enjoying it, that was truly dangerous.
Harry finally broke off the kiss and looked at the girl still pressed against the wall possessively between his hands. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes half closed, her face without a trace of a scowl, wearing a pleasant slightly embarrassed blissful expression.
"I still don't like you," the girl muttered blushing further. Harry chuckled fondly. Nalanell was like a petulant child, that claimed she was not sleepy while yawning profusely. And that was ok. He will let it slide. Whatever you need to be telling yourself, but you just proved me otherwise.
"That's why it's a punishment," he said brushing her cheek gently with the knuckles of his hand and then finally stepping away, letting her breath. Nalanell felt both relief and sense of loss at having his warm body move away.
With a final glance at the flustered girl, Harry left the room, leaving Nalanell alone to deal with her conflicted emotions.
#-&-HP-&-#
"Headmaster, what were you thinking, trying to put on such a dark object! I thought it was only Potter rushing headlessly into action without a second thought, but apparently, I have to deal with you too!" Snape fumed berating the older man as if he was one of his students and not his superior.
They were in the ruins of the Gaunt shack having just found the Horcrux in Marvolo Gaunt's ring, and suddenly the old fool decided to wear the freaking thing! Thanks to Snape's trained reactions he managed to stop Dumbledore just in time before he put the ring on. Severus then quickly smashed the Sword of Godric Gryffindor against the Horcrux before Albus gets any other equally dangerous ideas.
"Yes, yes, Severus my boy. That was a momentary lack of judgment on my part," the older man admitted guiltily, amused at Snape's furious scolding that betrayed how much the younger man cared about him.
"That's putting it lightly! One can only guess what vicious dark curses where protecting the Horcrux! And to think you didn't want me to accompany you? You might have been dead by now, old man!" Snape snapped angrily. Honestly, as if he didn't have his hands full with one reckless teenager!
"Forgive me, Severus. I'm very grateful for your company," Dumbledore said, smiling apologetically, his eyes twinkling at the grumpy man, "How is Harry doing? The enslavement spell is dragging out longer than anyone expected."
"Yes, Headmaster, it's been almost two months now. I have to admit, that even though we found a way for the bond to work, I'm getting worried about Potter. He doesn't show it anymore, but he is scared, that this thing might be permanent. I don't believe this to be the case, but I don't know how long I can keep pretending, that it's normal. It's not, the spell should have run its course long ago. Frankly, I'm growing anxious for this to be over myself."
"Talk to him, Severus, offer encouragement."
"Albus, you know, that's not my forte," Snape replied wearily, "I'm trying to keep him busy with work."
"Ah right, the training, how is he progressing?"
"Impressively fast. He is already better than most adult wizards, I'm sure he will be accepted in the Auror training program. But he is still no match for the Dark Lord," he sighed glumly. Harry might be outperforming his peers and probably can stand his ground against a couple of Death Eaters at the same time, but it's not Death Eaters, that he is ultimately supposed to defeat.
"I want him to try Extrication Art," Severus remarked and then seeing the frown on Headmaster's face, he quickly added, "Safely of course. I will make sure, he understands the risks."
"I don't know, Severus," Albus objected, but Snape cut him off.
"We can't keep playing it safe, Headmaster. Surely, you agree, that Potter can't stand against the Dark Lord one on one! And that if we even manage to find all the Horcruxes. We don't even know how many he made!"
"I'm working on Slughorn."
"Work faster! He will overthrow the government soon and then it's just a matter of time till he takes over Hogwarts!" Severus argued hotly.
Dumbledore just sighed tiredly in response. There was nothing really to say, so he changed the topic. "It's Halloween tomorrow," he observed watching the younger man with a penetrating gaze. Sometimes Snape wasn't sure, whether Dumbledore used Legilimency on him, or his eyes had the ability to see through him by default.
Severus didn't reply raising his shields, as he always did when the topic became too uncomfortable.
"It is something you could share with the boy," Albus suggested with a sad smile. Again, Snape remained silent. He already played with the idea of taking the boy there and telling him the truth. Harry deserved to know, but Severus was not sure if he will muster the courage to do so. He was scared. So scared.
#-&-HP-&-#
"Follow me, Mr. Potter," Snape said finding Harry in the hall after the evening Hallowe'en feast. Harry looked at him quizzically but didn't question the man.
"I guess I'll see you later?" he told Ron and Hermione, "Or maybe tomorrow," he added, trying to decipher whether he was in trouble, in which case he often stayed in Snape's guest room for the night after the punishment. His head didn't hurt and he didn't do anything that would put him in trouble as far as he was concerned, but with Snape, one could never know.
"Am I in trouble, Sir?" he asked the man warily.
"Did you do something to be in trouble?" Snape replied with a raised eyebrow.
Damn, that doesn't help. "Uhm, no?"
"Is that a question?"
"It's just that you always find something that I did, or didn't do, or didn't think to do, or should have done better or differently. I never really feel I should be in trouble, to begin with," Harry answered honestly.
Snape chuckled, amused at the boy's explanation. "No Harry, you are not in trouble. I want to take you somewhere."
"Oh, where are we going?"
"You will see," Snape said evasively.
They entered Snape's chambers and Severus, made his way to the bedroom. Harry stopped at the entrance politely, waiting for his Master to grab whatever he needed there.
"Come, Potter," the man prompted him instead. He was holding a herbology book opened somewhere in the middle. Harry stepped inside the bedroom uncertainly. Surely, Snape didn't mean to show him the bedroom? That was awkward.
"Come closer, it's a Portkey, grab my hand," Snape instructed, a mild irritation entering his tone. Harry then noticed that the book was opened on the page titled Lilium. He grabbed Snape's elbow frantically, realizing that this was about his parents. Snape touched the picture of the flower and they were pulled into the wormhole spitting them out on a small square somewhere outside.
Harry stumbled forward as he landed and Snape grabbed his elbow just in time before he fell.
"Thanks," Harry muttered fighting nausea that he always felt after using the Portkey. He looked around. They were in a small rural village, with an old church standing dominant above the small houses. It was dark and chilly outside and the streets were empty. Harry has never been here before, but he knew exactly where Snape took him.
"Is this Godric's Hollow?"
"Yes, Harry."
They walked slowly towards the Graveyard. Harry felt a weird mixture of excitement, anxiety, and sorrow. He has never been to his parents' graves. Why didn't he? Why has no one ever taken him here? Why has he never asked?
IN LOVING MEMORY OF
JAMES POTTER & LILY POTTER
27.3.1960 | 30.1.1960
31.10.1981 | 31.10.1981
The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
Harry watched the tombstone feeling his throat constrict painfully. The grave was surprisingly neat and clean. Somebody was definitely taking care of it. There were flowers lying on the right side of the grave.
Snape conjured a candle and lit it up silently. He didn't tell the boy anything, simply waited for him to do the same. They placed the candles on both sides of the grave and watched the small flame burn in silence.
Snape then conjured the very same flower that was lying there and Harry realized that those were lilies, magically imbued to stay fresh. He didn't have to count them, he already knew there were 15 of them. It was Snape who kept coming all those years taking care of his parents' grave, leaving a single flower for the woman he couldn't let go.
"She was nine, when I first met her," Severus finally said breaking the silence and Harry felt his heart skip a beat. They never talked about it. Harry knew the topic was unpleasant and painful for his Master, so he never brought it up.
"She was beautiful, innocent and completely clueless. She didn't know she was a witch," Snape continued, a small sad smile playing on his lips. Harry listened afraid to breathe as if Snape would stop talking once he did. He always heard so much about his father and so little about his mom.
"She always looked up to Petunia caring so much about her Muggle sister. If only she knew how that sister ended up treating you," he said shaking his head slightly and immediately winced realizing, what would Lily probably say about how he himself treated her precious son.
"I was the one, who told her she was a witch. Petunia was green with envy when Lily went to Hogwarts. Apparently, she never got over it. She always called her a freak," Snape glanced at Harry but the boy just kept staring at the tombstone.
"Lily got sorted into Gryffindor, I ended up in Slytherin, but we remained friends. She was skilled in Charms and very good at Potions. She was the kindest person I knew, always seeing the good in everyone. Even in those who didn't deserve it..." he trailed off not wishing to bash James Potter in front of his son. In the end, James did die protecting Lily... so he was way more worthy of her than Severus ever was.
"I lost her friendship after the incident you've seen in the Pensieve. It was not even the horrible name that I called her, it was my own fascination with the Dark Arts that ultimately broke us apart. When she started dating your father it was the last straw that brought me to the Dark Lord. And then..." Snape took a deep breath trying to subdue the slight trembling. Here comes the hard part.
"...I overheard the Prophecy..." the pair of Lily's emerald eyes stared at him in shock as the realization hit the boy.
"It was y-you? You told Voldemort?" Harry asked refusing to believe, Snape only hung his head in shame. Oh God! Oh no, please no. Why did it have to be you? Why did you have to tell me now?! It would be so much easier when I hated you. Why did you have to make me care first and then tell me! Harry felt tears streaming down his eyes and he didn't stop them. This was so unfair. The man, that helped Harry heal after the loss of his beloved Godfather, the man he only now grew to care for, was the one that ultimately made him the prophesized Boy Who Lived. It was Voldemort acting upon the prophecy that made the prophecy real.
"I didn't know, Harry, I swear! As soon as he targetted Potters I ran to Dumbledore begging him to hide you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it," Snape said, his expression tortured and vulnerable.
Carrying all this guilt won't help to ease the pain. Trust me, I know. Snape was carrying the guilt for 15 years. Harry couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. Was it really just Snape responsible for his screwed up life? Why not blame Trelawney for making the Prophecy in the first place? Oddly enough Harry remembered Snape's own argumentation when dealing with Harry's guilt over Sirius's death. Just like Harry, he played his part, but he couldn't take all the blame.
Severus expected to see hate when Harry met his gaze. But there was mainly hurt and something else, something that reminded him so much of Lily. It was compassion.
Harry clenched his fist in determination. It was time for Snape to let go. He turned to the man and with all his might hit him square in the jaw, knocking him to the ground with the force of the blow.
Snape expected a lot, but he didn't expect THAT. He tasted blood in his mouth and several thoughts flashed through his mind. Damn, that hurt! He actually punched me! How dare he? He could be expelled for it. I should never tell. But one thought clouding all others was: I deserve this. It's the least that I deserve after making the boy an orphan hunted by Voldemort.
Harry shook his fist painfully, surprised how much the punch actually hurt the giving party. "That's for making some really fucking crappy decisions as a teenager! And for treating me like SHIT for the first five years!" he yelled conveying his frustration and anger with the man. Then he brushed his tears away and held a hand to Snape in a silent offer to help him up, "Now you can consider yourself punished... And I forgive you."
Snape just stared at Harry in disbelief.
"It's time you forgive yourself too," Harry added solemnly, his eyes laced with sad understanding.
Snape was rendered speechless. The brat punched him for HIS benefit? To punish HIM, so that HE can let go? The IMPUDENCE, the sheer AUDACITY! I'm gonna... I'm gonna, just you wait, Potter, YOU ARE SO DEAD! Snape took the offered hand and Harry helped him upright. The man wiped the blood from his lower lip looking at Harry threateningly.
Harry couldn't help an amused smile. As if I didn't know already, how much I'm gonna pay for this. And then it hit him. Oh god, oh god, oh god! He practically jumped at Snape embracing the man in a fierce hug. He didn't care if Snape was a physical person or whether he wanted to be hugged. Harry was overflown with relief and joy. His head was not hurting. Which could mean only one thing!
Snape felt his breath being knocked out of him for the second time in less than two minutes by Potter. This time with just as completely unexpected hug. The boy was gripping him for dear life and Snape felt his hands wrap around the teenager on their own volution. Brat! Who said you can punch me and then hug me?! He didn't want to admit it, but it felt really nice. Nice and somehow right. And for the first time in the last fifteen years, he felt he could perhaps finally let go.
"Snape?" Harry's muffled voice addressed him, as the brat kept clinging to him. There was something in this salutation that felt out of place. Different.
"Hm?"
"It's gone. The bond is gone."
#-&-HP-&-#
#-&-HP-&-#
Tadaaa! Finally^^
Well, it's not exactly The End, because I believe there is still a story to tell. But let's call it a mid-season finale.
(Now we have Game of Thrones Last season to watch, yay, so excited)
I may work on something different now, or take a break altogether. But I do plan to return to this story.
Thank you guys for reading, your encouraging reviews were pushing me through=) I have been a guest visitor to this site for over 10 years, never leaving a single review, despite loving the stories. Now I realize just how nice it is to hear feedback.
Hope you liked my story.
PS: for those who didn't guess what was different about Harry calling Snape "Snape", it was actually the first time, he addressed him this way. He was forced to call him Sir or Master the entire time.