** Hi sorry for the wait! Back in the city, last day of vacation is tomorrow, started school, and I'll be going back to work Friday.
Im not too sure if I portrayed the characters well enough in this one but ih well.
And later on I'll be naming another chapter 'Mirror' as well. Two chapters from now, they kinda go together. Originally this was to be longer but I cut it in half. ****
... please continue *bows for you to enter* :P
CH 14: Mirror ...
Mirror by Kat Dahlia
It has been a month already since Ghilan, Fenris, and Merrill joined the Inquisition's forces.
Ghilan's group received weekly reports on their 'organization'. It took longer, but Ghilan was able to relay and receive information with her other cells. And with the Inquisition's support she, reluctantly, gave in and admitted that they were doing exceptionally well since joining, as their numbers of ex-slaves smuggled out and freed was higher than it used to be. The amount of times caught or close calls was still about the same as before. Thankfully, anytime that they were caught, they managed to escape leaving less and less casualties. That was something she felt that needed improvement though, as she wanted none. However, she knew this was unlikely.
Most of the Inquisitor's companions and advisors knew who Ghilan's group was by now. They mainly worked with Leliana as informants and spies, but sometimes they were called to assist Cullen's soldiers when needed. Fenris had become especially popular with them. Though some had issues with an elf being in their ranks, but little voiced it.
Besides, no one wants an angry Fenris.
On rare occasions Ghilan, Merrill, or Fenris, or all of them, were asked to accompany Evie when either of her companions were unavailable. Plus, Ghilan's group had unique talents that Evie would sometimes require.
Ghilan's training with her magic and her skills in that area raised exceptionally higher. Solas had theorized that it must be because of their location. He stated that since the Veil is weaker at Skyhold than it was at Haven, it would be much easier for her to connect with the Fade, and with that her magic as well. Not to say that Ghilan hadn't been improving well on her own, it's just that the weakened Veil seemed to give Ghilan more of an advantage. She felt her magic more clearly now. She felt it as a rush of cold. Like plunging into ice cold water. It also gives her less pain now that she is able to have more control over it. However, she is still learning the basics of casting, but at the rate she has been improving Solas had told her she could soon be well above average, not taking into account her talent though. Ghilan is powerful, has such raw magic in her, but it is the ability to control it is what she needs in order to truly be able to master her gift.
By now, almost everyone found out that she is a mage as well as a very skilled rogue. She trained almost everyday with Solas and learning to adjust herself into consuming lyrium, which she most desperately needed. On the days in which Solas was away with Evie, Ghilan would train with Fenris and Merrill. Even Dorian stepped in to give her a few pointers. Ghilan found that she rather enjoyed Dorian's teachings and company. She even found him attractive in his own way. It's too bad for her that he went for the other side.
Currently, Ghilan was training with Dorian in some sort of technique he uses that he knows Solas had noted his dislike of. Disregarding Solas' dislikes though, Ghilan very much likes Dorian's technique better. It felt easier.
"Dorian, how did you get so smart?" Ghilan asked teasingly, praising his techniques.
"Careful breeding my dear." Dorian said in mocked seriousness. "Although, you don't need to use my style Ghilan. I just thought you should know that there are far better ways, more simpler ways, even, in casting. I know Solas has shown you his, however, though he would never admit it, it has some flaws. Once you get the hang of your abilities my dear you will be able to find ways that suite yourself better."
"Honestly Dorian, I never thought of doing it the way you've shown me." She put her hand against her mouth and whispered, "Don't tell him, but I like your way better." Ghilan smiled, laughing a little. When she's with Dorian, he makes her feel like she doesn't need to take everything so seriously.
Dorian smiled brightly and replied back, "I won't." He noticed that someone had happened upon them and stood a few feet away from them, behind Ghilan. Looking a bit annoyed. "However, I believe he will find out eventually." He said pointing a subtle finger towards what was behind her.
Ghilan blushed, following Dorian's pointing finger to where Solas and, now Evie stood. Solas' face held a look of annoyance.
"Ah, well he obviously heard that..." Ghilan mentally face palmed herself.
"Solas, Evie! Welcome back!" Ghilan said enthusiastically.
"If you are done playing around Nyx, Miss. Trevelyn would require a moment of your time."
Ghilan's face showed her surprised but she nodded respectfully. "Oh wow. Ouch. He's clearly mad." She thought as she looked to Dorian who was smiling despite the irritation that was clear in his eyes at Solas' comment about how they were training.
Evie coughed awkwardly and spoke wanting to ease the tension. "Well, it seems I have to go to the Winter Palace on a pretty big mission involving Empress Celene. Nyx, I'd greatly appreciate if you, Fenris, and Merrill were there to accompany myself, Sera, Solas, and Dorian.
Ghilan's was stunned. That ... that is a huge event. She heard about the 'peace talks' from Varric. Apparently the Empress of Orlais is in danger. The other reason as to why she is still speechless is because she hadn't been to a party since – since Adonis.
Dorian saw her hesitation. "Nyx are you alright?"
It took a moment, but Ghilan managed to shake herself off of the initial shock. Clearing her throat she answered. "Yes, I'm fine. And yes Evie. We will be happy to assist you." She smiled her most decent fake smile that she could muster.
"Oh, thank you so much! Your skills will be of much use in this. I will give you all the details tomorrow. We have two days to prepare. I am sorry if this is short notice for you. I just had to make sure I had most of the other stuff prepared."
"Alright then." Ghilan replied. Smiling broadly, Evie took off, happy with the outcome. Probably on her way to see Cullen. Ghilan has been noticing how they have been becoming increasingly close lately.
Speaking of Cullen, Fenris should be with him and his soldiers right now. She decided she'd let him and Merrill, who was most likely with Varric, know.
Before she left though she noticed Solas had disappeared as well, leaving herself and Dorian alone. She figured he must be really upset about what she had confessed to Dorian. Though, she saw no reason for him to be. She still valued his teachings as well.
"Nyx, are you positive that you're alright? I mean you looked very pale a few moments ago."
"I will be alight Dorian. Don't worry."
He stared at her for a good measure and gave up, bidding her a good day for now. Little did Ghilan know that Dorian had been told by Elise what had happened at the last party she had Ghilan attend. Elise had told Dorian what had led to Ghilan's release as a precaution should he spot her. Elise had told him that if that were to happen, then he was to help her out. Elise had begged him as a friend in need of a favour. She trusted him immensely.
It was near evening, hours after Ghilan had gathered Merrill and Fenris and told them of what Evie had requested of them. Merrill seemed interested and Fenris – well he accepted it as well as was to be expected. Parties such as these aren't really his thing. Ghilan was nervous about the whole thing, but she made herself put on a brave face and suck it up. What happened was long ago and it isn't even the same party setting, it's in Orlais. It is not Tevinter. Besides, Ghilan had found that focusing on her curiosity held more potency than her fear.
It was starting to get late. Ghilan hadn't seen Solas since he came back with Evie. Usually he would come and join them for dinner. During which, Ghilan and Solas talked about their shared connection or Solas would chat along with Fenris and Merrill. Now the talks with Merrill were certainly entertaining to watch. Ghilan had to try as hard as she could not to laugh at Solas' expressions. It was simple to say that Merrill holds strongly to her beliefs.
So, being as late as it is, it was safe to say that Ghilan had become very concerned.
She excused herself from the table that was host to a competition of an arm wrestling match. Current opponent to beat is, of course, The Iron Bull.
The first place she looked was the Rotunda. Not there.
The second place was the library. Nope.
The third was the library below.
"Where are you Solas?" She spoke quietly to herself.
"He's not here." A male's voice had appeared in the room.
"H-Hello?" Ghilan called out.
"He hurts. He's angry, upset, grieving. He wanted to hurt them. Red, hot, burning, uncontrollable. Rage." As if snapping out of a trance the voice started to speak more clearly. "Solas left for a while. He is very upset."
Ghilan turned around and saw that it was Cole who was speaking. She had run into him a couple times before. Solas had to explain to her what he exactly was and what was it that he was capable of doing.
"He's angry? Cole, where is he? What do you mean he left? He's coming back right? What happened?"
"A friend of Solas' got hurt and it died. Now he grieves. It is strong. He loved it and now it's gone." Cole explained with sorrow in his voice.
"He's grieving." Ghilan parroted. Realizing why he acted the way he did today. "But Cole, where is he? He shouldn't be alone, especially if he's angry enough to want to hurt someone."
"But he wants to be. He thinks he should be. He thinks it is what he deserves. But ... he is afraid to be alone." Cole's face twisted into confusion. "He is afraid to be alone but he thinks he deserves it, he wants to be? I don't understand."
Ghilan's heart broke for Solas then. "No one deserves to be alone. Cole please tell me where he is."
"I-I-I don't know. He won't let me. He – he doe- oh! Wait! I feel him again! Just passed the bridge."
"Thank you Cole." Ghilan breathed a sigh of relief.
"I am glad I could help" Cole soon vanished and Ghilan took off running. She didn't stop until she ran across the bridge and came a few paces away.
By the time she had found Solas meditating underneath a tree, she was out of breath. To get his attention, she played dramatic.
Hands on her hips, she bent over gasping for breath. "Oh wow, I must be getting old!"
Solas jolted, startled out of his meditation. "Ghilan?" He spoke hoarsely. "What are you doing here?"
She looked at him. She had a smart mouthed retort ready to fire back, prepared for that question when it was to come. However, hearing him speak, seeing him like this. She couldn't bring herself to voice it. Her heart broke more at the sight of him. Baggy, red-rimmed eyes, slumped shoulders. She knelt before him, sympathy shown on her face.
"Solas, I am so sorry. I had gotten so worried when I hadn't seen you at dinner. I was looking all over for you. Then Cole appeared and told me where I could find you and – about what happened. Not details, only that you lost someone dear to you."
"Yes. My friend. It was a spirit of wisdom. I had known it for many years, it accompanied me many times as I journeyed through the fade. It gave me advice as I would often consult with it." His sorrowful eyes then turned angry and unforgiving. "Then some shemlen, idiots, summoned it against it's will, use it for what goes against what it is, changed it. Changed it into a demon of pride." Solas had clenched his fists hard, knuckles turning white. "I wanted to kill them. They did not deserve to just walk away free after what they did."
Ghilan placed her hands on top of his clenched fists. Solas sighed, easing up. " I left to ... calm down and came back here to meditate." He closed his eyes and began taking deep breaths.
"I am very sorry for your loss Solas. I wish I had the honour of meeting it." Ghilan entwined her hands with his. He accepted it gratefully and held on to them, as if they – she was keeping him grounded. His breathing relaxed more and his grip loosened, but he still held her hands. Ghilan moved to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder.
"You would have liked it as I'm sure Wisdom would've enjoyed your company a well." Solas commented quietly.
"Thank you for saying so Solas." Ghilan smiled gently at him and he smiled back.
Ghilan had nestled herself comfortably at his side, her head on his shoulder. Solas broke the silence, resting his head a top of hers. He chuckled a little. "You were worried about me?"
"Well, yes. You never came for dinner and I hadn't seen you even after that. I honestly thought you were mad at me for what you overheard what I said to Dorian."
"Ah, well I was a bit ... annoyed. However, it was more due to today's events."
"You mean that was the mission you came back from with Evie?"
Solas nodded a top her head. "Yes. I was asleep when I heard Wisdom's cry for help. I had asked Evie to accompany me."
"I would've gone with you as well if I'd known."
"I know. Thank you Ghilan."
She hummed in response. It was a still night, only the gentle rustle of the wind through the tree branches. Remembering what Cole had said, Solas thinking that he deserves to be alone, she lifted her head and he did the same noticing his shoulder had grown cold.
She looked at him softly in the eyes. "Cole told me something else Solas – Fen Harel." She looked him in the eyes and brought a hand up to cup his cheek so he wouldn't look away. She needed him to know, to understand. "You don't have to be alone. No one deserves that."
He was taken back, he flinched, but he was secured by her hand cradling his cheek and her mesmerizing eyes. He looked in her eyes with surprise. Shifting his focus from ice blue to dark grey as if he was searching for something. He seemed to have either found it or gave up as he closed his eyes and just breathed. He leaned forward, close to her face.
Ghilan's had become red as he did so. She wasn't sure what was happening, so she had shut her eyes and just waited.
Solas pressed his temple to her's and just breathed steadily. She risked opening her eyes and saw that he seemed to have relaxed. He was much calmer now than when she had found him.
"Thank you Ghilan." He whispered.
They stayed like that for a good measure. Ghilan didn't want to spoil the moment, however her bottom demanded she get up.
Solas opened his eyes and stilled. Staring into he eyes again, shifting from one to the other. Looking for something. Ghilan figured she'd do the same, trying to gauge what he was thinking, what he was looking for in her eyes. She caught a quick passing of his eyes wandering to her lips and then back into her eyes. She blushed.
They were still so close with their foreheads pressed together. His eyes moved down again, watching as she slightly parted them. He looked back up. She saw it in his eyes. He looked lost, desperate for something to keep him grounded. To help him ease his pain. She would gladly help him, keep him level, guide him through the dark night that was his grief.
... But ... not like that. Not when he is like this; upset and grieving. It wouldn't be right. What he needs right now, even if he feels like he doesn't want it, is someone to just be here for him. A shoulder to cry on.
She would comfort him, but only as what he needs. A friend.
She saw Solas tilt his head slightly, slowly closing his eyes and parting his lips.
Oh how she very much wanted to – she couldn't.
"Solas, we – we should head back." Ghilan had inched backwards away from his face as Solas leaned back slightly from hers.
He searched her eyes again and she couldn't help that this whole thing had left her so red.
Which he noticed. Producing a small amused smile he spoke, "As you wish Ghilan."
They stood and that was the moment Solas' stomach started to punish him.
"Ha! You're lucky I saved some food for you then Solas."
"Indeed. I am lucky to have you." He spoke proudly.
"Come on. Let's hurry up. Wolves prowl out here at this hour."
Now Solas felt obligated to say something to that. "Oh yes. I know of one in particular who has caught the sent of his prey."
"Well ... then he should be quick to catch it before it gets away." She was trying to ignore how the phrase could mean of what he was referring to ... and failing. Why did she have to blush so easily.
Solas chuckled, noticing her nervousness. He could tell she knew exactly as to what he was referring to. He was feeling up for a little bit of fun.
"Let's hurry up now Solas. It's probably gotten so cold by now." Ghilan said.
"Oh do not worry. I have ... other ways of warming it up." He certainly was feeling a little better. Playful even.
"Well good for you." She shot back and quickened her pace. Now she was red and ... well a little you know.
He noticed her flustered state and just laughed as he quickened his pace as well.
***** Small update here: Sorry the next chapter is taking a while. I may have taken too much on when I kept full time and three part time classes (two at home and one evening one at the school :/ ) So I adjusted my one day of work, where I actually go to the school and stay there until 10pm, to part time. I wanted to see how I handled it, but unfortunately I haven't been sleeping well and working a full shift and then going to evening classes left me soo drained I thought I was going to fall asleep in my first class for that course. I just can't seem to get a good enough sleep. I get at least 4 to 5 hours on a regular basis. The bad days I has been 3 to 4, on one really particular bad day it was 2 or 3.
I'm not trying to make any excuses, I just felt like saying how tired I've been :P
But I'm still gonna update this thing! I will not leave it incomplete. When I'm taking a break from school work or have a few minutes, I work on typing the chapters into the computer to be posted. I am currently working on the next one okay. ... I'm about half way done.
And one more thing ... In relevance to one of the courses I'm taking (Small Business Plans), would any of you be willing to come to a bakery that specializing in tea and coffee infused baked goods. Like cakes, cookies, etc. that have flavours of tea or coffee integrated in them in some way.
I just want to know if any of you might like that idea. :P
I'm doing an assignment and I'm just curious if it might work... :P
..Thank you guys for your time. I'll try to get the new chapter up when I can, I will try. ******