This Life I Live: A OneDirection Fan Fiction (Chapter #14)
Harry's POV:
I'd only been in the waiting room of the hospital ten minutes before I decided that I hated it. For one thing, it smelled of chemicals and metal. For another, they didn't have any food, so of course Niall, who always eats when he is nervous or stressed, was freaking out. And of course, they wouldn't let me see Evie.
The second after we piled out of the ambulance, a group of paramedics had taken Evie straight to a private room. The only good part of this was at least the fans hadn't followed us.
Now, all four of us were seated in a small waiting room off of the Emergency Room. We were the only people there, and except for the sounds of doctors and nurses rushing by outside it was dead silent. Except for Niall who was slurping down a gatorade - I guess if there's no feed, he just turns to sports drinks.
"I just called her parents... no answer," Paul muttered, as he slid onto the couch beside me. The worry in his face was evident and in the space of half an hour, he looked like he'd aged a decade. Paul's often gruff with us, but under all of that he's a huge softie. Say whatever you want about him, but at the end of the day he cares about us.
"Yeah, about that..." Liam dug a small black object out of his pocket. He set it down on the plastic coffee table.
"You brought Evie's cell phone?" Niall asked, choking on his gatorade. "Yeah, I picked it up off the floor before we left the hotel," Liam said, shrugging.
"You really are the smart one," Zayn said under his breath.
"I already, uh, looked through it, and there's some stuff that I think we should all take a look at... from her parents." In a second, I had my hand around the phone and was scrolling through the latest messages. It didn't take long to find.
"You really should go kill yourself and save everyone a lot of trouble! - "Love" Mom," I read aloud, my voice cracking. What little chatter there had been shut off and everybody stared at their hands. I felt a flame of rage more intense than anything I'd ever felt before in my life.
"Paul we have to do something! THIS IS JUST SOME CRUEL, SICK... TWISTED JOKE! THIS IS INSANE! We have to talk to the authorities, Child Protective Services..." I stood up in a jolt and began to pace madly.
"I mean, this is horrible! It can't go on! They've probably treated her like his for years!" I cried, grabbing the gatorade bottle out of Niall's hand and throwing it at the wall.
"Calm down, mate," Zayn said, wrestling me back to the couch. I sat down with a sigh.
"Look, we need to talk to Evie before we take any kind of action. I mean, this could all be some kind of misunderstanding," Paul argued.
"Paul you can't be serious!" Liam butted in. "We all saw that text, her parents basically provoked her to try and take her own life!"
"Excuse me," a kind-looking nurse said, stepping into the waiting area. "Miss Evie can see visitors now." All of us stood up in unison, which would have been funny in any other circumstances.
"Follow me please," she instructed, and we obeyed. A few sharp turns down the corridor later, we stood huddled outside Evie's room.
"Now, Miss Evie has just had her stomach pumped, so she's not in the greatest shape. Please don't overwhelm her, she's in a very nervous state. Now, if you would excuse me, I've got to oversee a blood transfusion." With that, she jogged off, leaving us alone outside the door of a suicidal teenage girl.
Zayn nudged my shoulder. "Go in, mate," Niall added.
"Why me?" I asked, a bundle of nerves. What could I possibly say to Evie? Were there even words to convey how badly I felt?
Liam rolled his eyes. "You know I'm not as blind as I seem. I saw the way you've been looking at her," he added.
I turned to look at Paul. "Go on then," he said, shoving me through the door.
Inside, there was only a chair, a bedside table, and a bed with the sleeping form of Evie. Pale moon light spilled out of the small window and across her back. She was lying on her side, facing away from me.
"Evie?" My voice was hoarse and low, and she didn't react immediately, so I assumed she hadn't heard. Just as I was about to repeat myself, she turned to face me very slowly. She grabbed her stomach and gasped and I ran over to try and help her, taking her arm and guiding her into a comfortable sitting postion.
"Styles.." she grunted through her teeth. "Get your hands off of me." Her tone was one I had never used before. It meant don't mess with me, or I will cut you. Even here, in a hospital bed, grimacing in pain, I didn't doubt that she was more than capable of it.
I didn't know what to do with myself so I just sat down in the chair.
"You're going to stay then?" Evie said with a sigh (followed by a whimper of pain). I wanted so badly to stroke her hair, take her hand, do anything in my power to ease her suffering, but I figured she'd just push me away again, so I stopped myself. I don't know why I was sitting down, actually, because Evie was making it pretty obvious she didn't want me to. But after all that happened in the past few days, there was no way I could leave. I needed to see her, be with her, know without a shadow of a doubt that she was okay.
The silence grew between us. Evie was crossing her arms and looking away. I tried to rack my brains for a reason why she might hate me... the last time we'd really talked, I'd layed all my cards on the table. I'd told her that I liked her. A lot. And she hadn't believed me. In fact, if anyobody ought to be mad at anyone else, I should have been angry with her!
"Evie, are you mad at me?" I asked. I wanted so badly to close the distance between us.
She shook her head, and in that instant, all of her defenses came crumbling away like the blocks of ancient castle, no longer able to support itself.
"No. No, I'm just embarassed, I guess. I made such an overly-dramatic scene. I probably look like some pathetic, emotional wreck," she cried.
"Shh, nobody thinks that. I promise you." I said, taking a seat on her bed, and reaching for her hand. She didn't pull away. Instead, she buried her head in my chest.
"Evie, why on earth would you try and kill yourself?" I wondered aloud. I heard take a huge breath.
"I just... felt as if I wasn't adding anything to the world. I wasn't helping anyone by being alive. My own parents don't even care if I live or die!"
I felt protestations rise up in my throat but I bit my tongue and let her finish.
"And then Louis... he was one of the first people I let into my life, and the thought of not having someone like him to share things with, it was just too much. And out of all the places to sit, I found myself on the bathroom floor, the one place strong enough to hold the weight on my shoulders. I know that sounds really stupid, but there you have it."
"Well first - that's ridiculous! I mean, do you know how worried all of us were when we found you on the bathroom floor? Paul was beside himself with worry! And what about Cara? She's like your sister! People care about you, Evie, trust me."
Evie gave the tiniest hint of a smile.
"I'm no therapist, but I can promise you this: I will listen. I will care. Okay? So please never try anything like this again, because it basically destroyed me," I said slowly, staring into her eyes. She stared back.
Evie's POV:
I pulled away from Harry and took a long look at him. His hair was a mess, his jeans were dirty, he was wearing a brown wool coat, and a deep green shirt. He smelled vaguely like blueberry gatorade. There were circles under his eyes, and he wasn't smiling at me. There wasn't anything photoshopped or perfect about him. Right now, he wasn't a celebrity, One Direction didn't exist.
"Did you mean what you said earlier? About liking me?" Harry broke into a grin.
"Every word."
"You're such an asshole," I said, pulling him a little closer. He broke into a grin. Dimples. I swear they are the biggest turn on.
"I mean, we could never date, you're the biggest jerk I know," I continued, lying down and pulling at the hem of his T-shirt. He responded instantly, straddling me carefully.
"Like, you're the most annoying, idiotic boy I've ever met," I said, pulling his head closer to mine. Our noses were touching, and he was staring down at me goofily.
With that, out lips met.
I've been to enough Guy Fawkes days to know a thing or two about fireworks. But let me tell you, fireworks had nothing on this kiss. It wasn't electricity, it wasn't magnetism, it wasn't magic, it was stronger and better than all of that.
"I take all that back," I said, laughing as I deepened the kiss.
All to soon, Harry broke away. "You know, the others are still waiting outside," Harry said. I started blushing. "Oh, um, right. Well, go get them!" I exclaimed, trying to fix my hair and pull myself together.
Harry opened the door. The first person through was Zayn who gave me a massive bear hug. Niall and Liam did the same. Paul clapped me on the back. "Glad to see you're doing better, Evie. You gave us all quite a scare," he said.
I locked eyes with Zayn guiltily. Sorry, I whispered.
Niall was eyeing up the tray of dinner the nurse had brought me a few minutes before Harry arrived. "Oh help yourself," I teased, handing it to him. We all laughed, and Niall wasted no time digging it.
Zayn came and sat beside me on the bed. He casually looped his arm around mine. I saw Harry shoot him an annoyed look. Jealous Harry? That's a new one. Hmm, it's hot, I can work with it, I decided.
"You broke your pinky promise," Zayn whispered into my ear. Nobody was paying any attention but I shivered.
Zayn rubbed my arm. "I'm not mad. I'm just relieved that you're okay." He smiled at me before getting up to check out the TV channels with Liam.
The same nurse from before peeked into the room. She smiled at me reasurringly, before beckoning to Paul. He stepped outside to talk with her.
While Paul was gone, Niall kept interrogating me about whether or not I had seen any vending machines on my way in.
"Niall she was stapped to a gurney! She wasn't exactly looking for snack options, now was she?" Harry said, laughing at the blond boy who was shoveling food into his mouth at an alarming rate.
"Scoot over, babe," Harry said. I moved over a little, trying not to move my stomach too much, which was basically on fire. Harry wormed his way in beside me. He copied Zayn and worked his arm around my shoulders.
My stomach tensed up and I let out a groan.
"That bad, huh?" Harry asked, hie voice full of concern. "I've had worse. I once had to listen to you sing for a whole two hours," I joked. He stuck out his tongue at me. I chuckled. "Joking," I added, kissing his cheek lightly. Oh my god, is this flirting? Up until now, my version of flirting was asking boys what the homework was. Yeah. Player's got moves like jagger.
Paul walked back into the room.
"Boys, time to go. Evie needs her rest," he stated, patting my hand. All the boys gave me long hugs. "Rest up and get better, I really don't want to have to explain this to Cara," Niall said, smiling at me. Zayn immediately tensed and things got very quiet. I shot him a reassuring smile and he smiled back weakly.
"Uh, Paul?" Harry asked all of a sudden, getting up. "Can I stay here? Just to make sure that Evie will be okay? I mean, she doesn't know anyone here and..." he trailed off sheepishly, looking away.
Liam coughed pointedly. "What about Louis?" Paul asked carefully, suddenly taking an interest in the linoleum floor. Harry went very red.
"Louis isn't here," he practically growled, making eye contact with Paul. I swear, they had a stare-down for a good minute. But it felt like an eternity.
"Fine. But we'll all be here at eight o clock sharp, don't think we won't!" he said.
"And we need constant updates about Evie's health!" Zayn added. "Because, this is all about her health right?" he said innocently, winking at me. I laughed, and all heads turned to me, so I turned the laugh into a chocking fit. Harry started rubbing my back.
"See? She needs me!" He said, talking to them, but staring at me with a grin on his face. I rolled my eyes.
"We'll see you later, mate," Niall said.
"Now it's time to search for that damn Tomlinson," Paul muttered, grabbing his cell phone as he and the others left the room. Harry closed the door behind them and then moved back to the bed, getting under the thin blanket. He wrapped his arm around me once more like it was as natural to him as breathing. A little rush of shivers ran down my spine. Kind of pathetic- all he had to do was touch me and I practically melted.
A fresh wave of pain rolled through my stomach. Ugh. So much pain for such stupid actions. I groaned a little.
"How ya feeling?" Harry asked, being serious for once.
"Fine," I muttered. Harry gave a low chuckle.
"Don't bullshit me, love."
"Fine, it hurts a litte," I said. I hated when people made a big deal about me. Besides, it was my own poisonous thoughts that had landed me in this situation. The last thing I deserved was kindness after what I had tried to do with myself. End my own life. Just thinking the words made me cringe. Had I really wanted that? Now, with Harry beside me, the very idea of missing this seemed incomprehensible
"Hold on, I'm gonna go find that nurse and get you some medicine to ease the pain."
"No don't!" I cried in exasperation. Harry ignored me and got up, but I grabbed for him, setting off a fresh wave of agony. I yelped. In the space of a second, Harry was cradling me, rubbing my shoulders and stroking my hair.
"Why are you always such a handful?" he murmured into my hair. He lay me back down and walked off, and I decided it would be smarter not to argue. God - we're both such stubborn people! How is this ever going to work out? It's probably not, the more rational part of my brain said. Oh shut up, just enjoy yourself, the rest of my mind argued back. I let that side win and relaxed into the pillows.
A few minutes later, Harry came in, smiling triumphantly and holding a glass of water and a package of pain pills.
"Here, she said these would help," he said, handing them to me. I made a face. I hate medicine of any form, but I gave in and took them. Harry came back into the bed. It was a little tight of a fit, since I'm pretty much positive that it was meant for one person, not one person and her rockstar boyfriend(?). Not that I was complaining. Harry eased me onto my side, and did the same, so that we were lying down facing each other. When I looked up at him, his eyes were so full of love and a tiny smile was playing on his lips.
"From the moment we started talking, I knew that I wanted you around," he said simply.
"Okay, you get a kiss for that," I said, pecking him lightly. He deepened the kiss a little, moulding his hands around the contours of my body. All of a sudden, I became very conscious of the fact that I was wearing an almost see-through hospital gown the color and material of tissue paper.
"Er, Harry?" Harry blushed, and I pulled the blanket over myself tightly. "Sorry about that," he said smirking. I was too tired to hit him but I was sorely tempted to do so.
I let out a little yawn, and snuggled into his arms.
"Feeling tired?" he asked me, moving my bangs out of face and kissing me on the forehead. I shrugged.
"Yeah, the nurse told me that drowsiness was one of the symptoms of the medication."
"Ugh, I hate you! You just want to drug me to sleep! If you wanted me to shut up, you could have just asked!" I accused. I could basically feel Harry rolling his eyes. I rolled over, so that we were spooning.
"Quite the contrary actually. I just want you to feel better so we can go home tomorrow and do this" he gestured to our intertwined forms, "in a more comfortable location."
I yawned again. Damn medication.
"Fine. But you will pay for this. For all I know, you gave me Roofies and are planning to rape me..." I said, closing my eyes.
I could feel Harry laugh, since his chest was pressed against my back.
"If I wanted to have sex with you, I could just ask couldn't I?" I pretended to scoff. "Not that I'd say yes," I said, in a bored tone. I wondered what Harry would think if I told him that literally all he had to do was blink and I'd get down and suck his dick. Well, he'd probably be ecstatic, I thought, with a smile.
"Don't deny you want it," harry crooned into my ear, chuckling.
"I might," I said. "But unfortunately I'm too tired..." I replied.
"Damnit!" Harry exclaimed. "What have I done?" I smiled to myself. A comfortable silence stretched between us. After a minute, Harry moved his head into the space between my head and shoulder. I let out a contented sigh.
"Goodnight, love," he said sweetly.
"Goodnight," I murmured, before passing out.
THE NEXT DAY:
Evie's POV:
"Get your hands off of her!"
"No, goddamit! You can't just come in here and boss me around like you're Paul!"
"I wasn't joking, Styles. Get your greasy, slimy, whore-hands off of her!"
I groaned and opened my eyes. Sleep still enveloped me like a layer of snow, but I blinked rapidly. Those were some heavy painkillers... by the sound of it, this fight had been going on for a while, and I had only now just woken up because of it.
In the corner, Harry was arguing heatedly with someone. Wait. My eyes focused. Not just anyone. Louis.
I felt my stomach drop three floors, and a weird ringing started in my ears. I was so nervous, I was practically hyperventilating. Here was one of the reasons I had tried to take my own life, standing before me in the flesh and blood. I didn't blame him for what happened... if anything, I blamed my parents, who had raised me to always feel unworthy and unloved. But there was no way I could go back to being his girlfriend. It had nothing to do with Harry, it's just... I had never really loved Louis as a person, just the idea of having a boyfriend, of having someone to tell my secrets to.
As soon as Louis caught my eye he stood up and walked over to the bed. I sat up weakly and gave him a timid smile, which he didn't return.
"Lou? You okay?" I asked nervously. He crossed his arms and spat on the floor.
"I just found my ex in bed with my best friend. So am I okay? No, no not really," he screamed, grabbing the blanket and ripping it off of me. I cowered beneath his gaze. I had never felt such acute hate. Excluding my parents, that is.
"Look, Louis, you're acting like a crazy person!" Harry said, pushing Louis away from me, and taking my hand.
"Harry stay out of it!" Louis shouted back, shoving Harry away this time. I bit my lip. Oh god.
"This is between me and her!" Louis barked, pointing an accusing finger at me.
"Her? She has a name you know!" Harry challenged.
"I know that! In fact, considering I used to date her, I actually know quite a bit about her!" Louis shot back.
"Probably less than I do, buddy!" Harry was rolling up his sleeves, but I'd seen these boys fight before, and I knew that things could get brutal fast.
"Guys stop it!" I yelled, standing up on shaky legs. My stomach twisted a little, but overall, I felt a million times better than yesterday. Both boys' heads snapped around instantly.
"What?" Louis asked with intense sarcasm, as if I was no more than an annoying insect buzzing near his ear. Wow, I hope he doesn't always treat me with such an attitude...
"Harry, Louis is right..." I started. A look of satisfaction crossed Louis' face, and Harry began to tremble with rage.
"But-"
"Told you so!" Louis screamed. What a child.
"BUT," I continued, "only about this being between he and I. Harry, please just give us a minute?" Harry looked dmurderous, until he examined the determination on my face.
"Fine," he murmured, but he walked over to me and kissed me quickly before walking outside, letting the door slam with a bang.
I took a second to gather myself. I knew that Harry would be right outside the door, listening to every word I said, and I needed to make things as clear as I possibly could. This insane love-triangle-whatever-thing ended here. I was too tired of the drama and the bullshit.
"Louis, I made my choice, and my choice is Harry. I never cheated on you, not once. You know me better than that, so please don't even try and make me feel guilty about it, because it never happened. Never. Okay?"
A million emotions crossed Louis' eyes, but I couldn't make any of them out, and rather than wait for him to say something, I jumped right in again:
"It's not the ideal situation. I know that. But I meant what I said when I told you I didn't have feelings for you anymore. And that I haven't for a while. I can't help wanting Harry, ever since middle school, I've been horrible at it. Please, Louis, if you care about me at all, you'll let Harry and I be together?"
For what felt like an eternity, Louis didn't say anything. He stared at a patch of wall slightly above my head. His eyes were as remote as the stars and my stomach knotted and unknotted not from pain, but nerves. I felt as if I was in the Reaping for the Hunger Games or something. Yes, I did just say that...#nerdyandnoshame. I can't believe I said that either!
Finally, Louis met my eyes. He let out a huge breath. "You're right, I do care about you. Is that some kind of crime? I loved you a lot. Like, a lot a lot."
My eyes started to prickle. "I..." I faltered.
"No, please, let me finish! I don't want any more of this drama. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to smile, even if I'm not the reason anymore."
I ran up to Louis and hugged him ferociously, probably knocking the wind out of him in the process.
"Easy there tiger," he murmured, but I could tell from his voice that he wasn't mad. Not really.
"So you give us you're blessing?" I asked, stepping back and grinning despite myself.
A flash of pain crossed the brunette's perfect features before he composed himself and put on a tiny smile. "I suppose so yes."
"But that doesn't mean I want to see your tongue down his throat!" Louis added, wagging his finger at me.
"You won't have to worry about that. Harry's a bit of a prude," I stated. Images of his hands on my body last night flooded my mind and I tried to suppress my laughter.
"I AM NOT!" Harry bellowed, charging into the room. Louis couldn't help but snicker at the look on Harry's face.
For a minute, all three of us stood there in the hospital room awkwardly.
"Take good care of her, Hazza," Louis said, slapping Harry on the shoulder as he left. I expected him to maybe pause at the doorway, spin around, say goodbye in some way. Instead, he simply walked out. I wasn't exactly disappointed, but I felt a sneaking suspiscion rise in my chest. This wasn't as over as I wanted it to be. Not even close.
Last Day in Sydney
Niall's POV:
"Aren't they cute?" Liam whispered to me. He was gesturing to Harry and Evie, who were arguing about something. Both of them were smiling however. I just kind of shook my head and shrugged. From what I could see, they had the weirdest relationship... nothing like Cara and I, who got along amazingly.
Cara. Memories of her, her smile and her laugh came rushing back. I couldn't wait for our trip. Three weeks was much to long to be apart.
We were on the car on the way to the airport. The rest of the tour had been amazing, but now it was time to head back to England. I still hadn't mentioned the vacation to any of the other boys. No need to create additional drama, right?
Thankfully, when we arrived at the apartment, there were no crazy fans mobbing us. Paul dismissed the security sheepishly, and we boarded the plane without incident.
It was late evening, and as soon as we took off, the lights dimmed. I pulled out my phone and stared at my background: a picture of Cara. I sighed. It was about time to tell her I loved her.
The Next Day
Cara's POV:
*Cara's POV*
Three weeks without the boys had been… nice. I know it sounds awful, but without them in close proximity, things had been calm. I had just been enjoying bonding with my host family, cooking with Tricia and Doniya, discussing politics with Mr. Malik, and learning new hairstyles from Waliyha and Safaa.
Of course, it wasn't as if I had stopped talking to any of the boys: I had been texting them constantly. But nothing much had changed. Their tour was going well, they missed me, I missed them.
But today was the third of December, and they were coming back.
I had arranged to meet Niall at the airport with my suitcases so we could fly directly to Cancun, Mexico. Apparently, this was Niall's ideal vacation spot... not that I was complaining! The website he had sent me of where we were staying looked amazing, with pictures of sea turtles, sandy beaches, and inviting pools. But more importantly, I would be with Niall. Which is what I want. I think. Ugh, my emotions are literally a train wreck.
I had just finished my school exams earlier in the day, and now I was lugging my freshly packed suitcase to the car Niall had sent to pick me up. Even halfway around the world, he was still thinking about me and trying to make things more convenient for me.
As I settled myself in the back of the roomy car, my mind turned back to the vacation I was embarking on. If I was being honest with myself, it wasn't just the resort town location that made me excited…. It was the prospect of spending an entire two weeks with Niall alone. Part of me wasn't sure if we were ready for such a big step in our relationship. After all, we'd only been dating since September and things had still been complicated, to say the least. But I had to try, because being alone had made me realize how important he had become to me. All thoughts of Liam had faded away, slowly. I wish I could say the same about Zayn.
I had talked the vacation over with Tricia and Zayn's dad, and they had both been supportive, encouraging me to travel with Niall. They told me that I was only young once, and that I should travel as much as possible. I was really starting to see them as my parents in so many ways, and I was glad that they, at least, were ok with the trip. Though I had made them promise not to mention anything to Zayn until later today. I had explained it was for privacy, but really it was because I hadn't wanted to face him at the airport, his face cold, blank, and remote with rage and dismay. No, I hadn't wanted that at all. It was just easier if none of the boys had any idea what Niall and I were doing.
Left to my thoughts, the rest of the drive to the airport was uneventful.
Once we arrived, the driver took my bags and led me directly to the VIP lounge. Even though I had only been there once before, my feet remembered the way, which was good, since the rest of my mind was occupied with thoughts of the boys. The prospect of seeing them once more was both extremely exciting and unbearably painful.
I heard them before I saw them: the huskiness of Louis's voice, Evie's higher pitched accusatory statement, Harry making some sarcastic comment in his silky voice, Liam's practical tone arguing with him, Niall's thick Irish accent, and finally Zayn's equally thick city boy slang and slashed vowels.
Then I saw them.
My eyes involuntarily locked on Liam's. His hair was straightened and shaggy, the way I loved it, and he was wearing only light wash jeans and a t-shirt, but just this simple outfit pleased me.
He returned my gaze wordlessly, and I stopped moving. I continued to stare, drinking him in with my eyes.
Part of me felt arms enveloping me in a group hug. Part of me registered the familiar colognes of Zayn, Harry, Louis, and Niall mixing with the soft girly scent of Evie's perfume.
But the larger part of me was trapped, staring at Liam, the boy I hadn't spent the last few weeks missing. Was there anything I could say to him? Would I even get a chance now that I was about to leave?
"Guys, give her some space, let her breathe," Niall commanded, smiling at me hugely.
Finally, everyone stopped hugging me.
"You almost ready to go?" Niall asked in a low voice, tapping the handle of my suitcase.
I nodded. I wasn't ready to go at all, not really. But the burn of Liam's eyes on me was becoming incredibly uncomfortable.
"Well, uh, see you around lads," Niall said, grabbing my hand, and taking my suitcase in his other.
"Where are you going?" Harry queried, slinging his arm around Evie. Since when do Harry and Evie get along? Much less touch? I thought she hated him, I mused. Looks like I clearly had a lot of catching up to do.
"Oh, um, just on a little, y'know, trip," Niall said. We both looked away from the surprised faces surrounding us.
Before anybody could react, Niall led me away. He checked my bag, and then we hurriedly found our gate, and boarded the plane.
Or rather, the small private jet Niall had arranged. I wanted to roll my eyes, but looking at Niall's excited face and gleaming eyes, I let it go.
Besides, there was something nice about being the only people on the plane. And I couldn't really complain about the shiny veneer of the armrests, the flat screen TV, or the plush seats.
As soon as we took off, I leaned into Niall.
"Sorry if that was awkward," I mumbled into his chest. "I just don't want anyone to know where we're going. For security. I don't want to be swarmed by paparazzi," I added.
"Cara, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I get it. When we started dating, you didn't even know I was famous, so you had no idea what you were getting into. Of course, I'm sure none of the lads would say anything to the press or the paparazzi… but I understand. I really do."
"Thank you. For understanding. It means a lot. And this is nice. You and me, this," I said, trying desperately to find the right words, because I love you seemed to forward, too much for this moment.
"Just you and me on a plane for the next ten hours," Niall said happily, pulling out his laptop.
"Want to watch some TV?"
"Sure," I agreed, stretching out so that my legs crossed over Niall's.
For the next few hours, we switched between Southpark, Niall's idea of quality entertainment, and Secret Life, my guilty pleasure which Niall gave into only because I begged.
We fell asleep cuddled together.
I woke up to Niall shaking me. The windows of the cabin were closed, so I had no idea what time it was, or how long I had been asleep.
"We're here," Niall said, leaning down to kiss me gently.
We got our bags and Niall helped me down the steps from the plane. His hand rested comfortably on the small of his back, and I though about how lucky I was to have him.
"No paparazzi, babe," Niall said gleefully, as he helped me into the sleek black car he had arranged to pick us up.
Niall and I sat in the back and admired the city and the beautiful beaches that we passed by.
"Here we go," our driver announced, in a thick Mexican accent, after only a half hour of driving.
I stared through the window in awe at the beautiful resort in front of us.
I gasped. There was a group of large, island-style houses centered around a glittering pool. Each of the houses was larger than my home in the U.S., and lush plants grew around them.
"Did I die and go to heaven?" I joked. Niall pulled me to him and kissed the top of my hair, chuckling. "Glad you like it, love."
I breathed in the salty air and noticed the glimmering ocean only a few hundred feet from the last house.
"This is incredible," I murmured. Niall pecked me on the lips.
"Glad you like it." He proceeded to gather our bags and pay the driver, simultaneously leading me to the door of the last house, the one I had been admiring only seconds before.
Niall deftly pulled a slim gold key from the pocket of his shorts, and opened the door with a flourish.
"Casa de Horan y Johnson," he announced dramatically, dumping our bags in the entryway. I snickered at his Spanish, but followed him inside obediently.
The interior was just as stunning as the natural beauty outside. There were gleaming hardwood floors, a giant living room, and in the kitchen, a wall made entirely of glass facing the sea. Off of the hallway we stood in was a bathroom and the master bedroom.
I stood in the door jamb of the bedroom nervously.
The bed looked big and comfortable, but did I really want to…. My thoughts trailed off. I might act somewhat confident about boys, or at least about Niall, but I had never had any serious boyfriends back home, and I was a complete virgin. The farthest I had ever gone was third base, and even that had been something I hadn't felt comfortable with. Of course, with Niall it was different. There was so many things that I felt for him that I had never felt for anyone before.
While I was standing there, Niall came up and wrapped his arms around me. His thoughts seemed to follow mine.
"I'm not going to force you into doing anything you don't want to do, Cara," he said quietly. I nodded. He hadn't explicitly said sex, but I knew that was what he meant.
"It's completely up to you, how far we go," Niall continued. Yeah. That was kind of the problem.
That evening, after Niall and I unpacked, and I called Tricia to confirm that we had landed safely, we went into the city to buy groceries and then go to dinner.
The food at the restaurant was delicious, so Niall was in a good mood. Luckily, it also tired him out, so that by the time we actually got into bed we just kind of collapsed from exhaustion and there wasn't time for me to don the incredibly sexy lingerie I DIDN'T HAVE THE FORESIGHT TO BRING. Not that I would have had any to bring. Ok, I mean, I had a few lacy thongs (I had spent my fair share of time in Victoria's Secret, I was a teenage girl after all) but this was Niall Horan. That just wasn't going to cut it.
I could hear Evie's voice in my head saying something along the lines of: Lacy thongs? Step up your game, guurrrlll! You want to impress the boy don't you? Why hadn't I thought to ask her to borrow something of hers? God knows, she probably has plenty.
I went to sleep even more conflicted than I had been earlier.
The next day, Niall and I went to the beach. We found a nice place to sit in the sand, and just did childish things together, making sandcastles, and pelting each other with the soft, powder-like sand.
We stayed at the beach the whole day, talking about things we never usually had time to discuss. I was starting to learn so much more about Niall, things he hadn't touched upon earlier because of his busy schedule.
We had started a game of stating facts about ourselves, taking turns.
"I want to start my own charity," Niall said, playing with my fingers, burying one of my rings in the sand.
"To help impoverished kids learn about music and how to play instruments."
"That's great," I remarked. This really was a new side of him.
"And I want to go to university eventually."
"I really admire how driven you are. And how humble you are, in spite of everything that's happened to you," I said. It sounded like the cheesiest thing to say, but I meant it. He was beyond kind, nothing about fame had phased him.
And in addition to that, I had started noticing other things about Niall: the perfection of his smile, the symmetry of our hands intertwined, the intensity of his eyes. Sometimes, you forget how much you value somebody.
As the afternoon turned to evening, Niall put his arm around me and we watched the sun sink lower in the sky together, our breathing even and calm. I felt myself becoming more acutely aware of his every movement. I wasn't sure I had ever wanted someone the way I now wanted Niall.
Niall turned to me. On the deserted beach, the last rays of sunlight were blazing, giving his hair a soft golden halo.
"Cara, I need to be honest with you. You make every single day I'm alive a hell of a lot better. You make me want to get up every morning: I love you."
I cupped Niall's face in my hands. He looked so young, innocent, sweet. So sure of himself, and of what he was saying. My heart filled with ecstasy.
"That's convenient, because I love you, too."
And saying the words aloud made me realize just how true they were.
I kissed him and he responded immediately, working his hands along my body.
I relaxed into the sand and Niall moved on top of me, touching me with a new urgency. His hand worked itself into my bikini bottoms, and I let out a low moan.
Niall pulled away, his breathing ragged.
"Are you sure?" he asked, tracing the outline of my cheek with his finger. I nodded quickly. I had never thought much about sex, or virginity, or any of that. It just hadn't seemed important. But then again, Niall was my first serious boyfriend, the first person I had truly desired. Except for Zayn, a nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me. I bit my tongue in frustration and shoved the voice away, refocusing my eyes on Niall's body. Damn, those were some low-riding board shorts. Fuck.
"I'm very, very sure," I said, sucking in a couple hearty gulps of air.
With that Niall picked me up bridal style and carried me inside. He placed me on the bed and got up to shut the blinds and dim the lights, so the last few flickers of outdoor light wouldn't disturb us.
I shivered once more at the sight of him in only board shorts.
As Niall returned to the bed, he gave me a look I can't even begin to describe. What did I ever do to deserve this, I wondered. But I was more focused on the incarnation of hotness before me.
"Well then Mrs. Johnson," he whispered seductively. I looked up at him.
"Well then," I murmured, reaching out a hand to trace his chest muscles. Yep, they're real. Ok breathe, Cara, breathe.
A wave of desire passed through me and I pulled him onto me once more. His hands ran over my body, lingering at the strings of my bikini top. He pulled it off, and the bottoms soon followed.
I mimicked him, tugging at his shorts, and sighing with relief as they fell to the floor.
He grabbed me once more with a moan.
A/N:
Hey guys! I'm trying to update more frequently but please keep reviewing! I have gotten some great feedback and I just value what you guys say so much!
I probably won't have time to update much soon because of school and I am slipping back into my ED, so yes, kind of an uphill battle over here. Don't worry, I will get to work on this next week for sure, if I don't find time towards the end of this week :)
Also... thoughts and opinions? Is it getting too sexy? I just want it to be realistic, and the reality is that teenagers have sex and curse and drink and things. I don't want to sugarcoat anything, but if it bothers you, I'm sorry! And do you guys prefer shorter chapters or longer ones? I consider this length pretty long (for me at least lol) but some people have said they think I should make chapters shorter? Thank you so much :) I love you all!