I'm back and ready to kill…Mwahahaha..

alright then … hehe… here's the new chapter of I don't need a bodyguard…

of course… I do remind you all that that there is Uchiha incest … so you won't get shocked by anything… even if it isn't about the two most popular Uchiha's… and remember this is rated m…

anyway again I don't own naruto… in fact I don't own anything… Nema owns everything.. don't you all feel sad for me…

…………………………….meow……………………………..

Upon entering the club Shikamaru found himself forced into a bar booth and surround by some of the most well known gangsters in the city. But the strangest part was that sitting on both sides of him was two Uchiha's. The youngest Uchiha, Sasuke, took up his left side, swirling a wine glass in one hand and smirking at something Shikamaru had no clue about. Itachi, the older Uchiha, took up his right side and seemed to be an older version of Sasuke.

Even though you could defiantly tell that the Uchiha's were related by appearance, their clothes set them apart. Sasuke was dressed up like a gothic whore. He had torn up pants. A shirt that seemed to just plaster itself to his flesh. He had earrings in both ears, silver swirls and bracelets decorating his arms. The older brother was more defined. He was wearing a business suit though he had dropped his coat off onto the back of his chair. It gave him a more professional look. But you could still tell he wasn't just a normal 7 to 5 business man, because just like Sasuke to his left, Itachi wore silver earrings in the same swirl pattern. The symbol of their gang. The Akatsuki.

however if Naruto's life might not have relied on it, Shikamaru wouldn't want to be caught died in this situation. Who would want to be in the middle of two killers. Especially when you are someone that may not be able to arrest them but defiantly wasn't on the top of their list. Bodyguards don't make good friends for gangsters. At least not bodyguards of law abiding citizens.

Why again did he have to come here… oh yeah the blonde won't tell him anything about the manic out to kill him. God let him survive this night.

Troublesome blond and his troublesome problems.

………..meow……………

"So who are you, oh daring one. Un." Deidara had decided to start the conversation it seems. But then again he was the one in the group who couldn't deal with silence. The rest of the gang surrounding the table didn't care at all about talking. They usually could just stare down any suspect. So Itachi couldn't say he was too surprised that Deidara had decided to break the silence.

"Troublesome." OOOOKKK. now that was something new. This new guy wasn't even shaking in his sit. In fact he looked about ready to fall asleep. His eyes were half closed and he didn't seem to be at attention or even close to being ready for danger. The guy didn't look like he would be able defend himself against even the weakest member of Akatsuki. So why was this guy in their bar. Was it seriously an accident.

"You're a strange one. Un." Itachi was about ready to hit someone. This was suppose to be his molest Sasuke time. Being an emotionless Uchiha was troubling at times.

"Shikamaru." Sleepy's response was strange. Guess it must be his name.

"What. Un." And of course Deidara didn't get it. Deidara doesn't have that long of a memory at times. This was going to be a long night if he let Deidara continue the interrogation.

……………………..meow……………

"It's his name Deidara." Shikamaru let his eyes fall closed as he slipped down to lay his head onto the table before him. This was just too tiresome. At least Itachi had taken over the conversation, the blond across the table was tiresome. Itachi would be much better to deal with. He was reported to be a lot like Shikamaru himself. Quiet and serious.

"Troublesome. I came to talk about Naruto." Silence. It seemed that the whole bar had stopped breathing. Not even the sound of beer glasses on the counter.

"Naruto? We don't know anyone by that name. Un." Troublesome idiots.

"Fine Whatever you call him. He's blond, blue eyes. Short for his age. One of the most popular models in the city and out of it. A ramen addict. And has pictures of all of you decorating your room. And to add to all of that has some sicko out to kill him."

Shikamaru had risen from his slouch on the table. His eyes were hard and open. He was serious. he was getting his answers. He wasn't going to fail his job because this gangsters where going to deny knowing Naruto.

"Who's after the dobe." It seems that Shikamaru had gotten their attention. Finally. He didn't want to stay in this bar longer than he had too. It was noisy. He wanted to sleep.

"I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me." Sasuke seemed mad, his hands were fisted and his body was covered in suppressed tension and emotion.

"We don't kno…"

"Shut it little bro. Shikamaru, what is it to you." Itachi must not be as ruled by his emotions as his brother.

"I'm his new bodyguard. Naruto won't tell me anything I can use to protect him." Shikamaru sighed and closed his eyes again. It truly was bugging him. Why wouldn't the blond trust him.

"Oh I remember you. Un. You were in the paper with little Naru. Un. His new boyfriend. Un." If Shikamaru thought the first silence was bad. This one was done right creepy.

……………………..meow…………………………

"Boyfriend. The dobe?" Itachi was just as shocked as Sasuke. It was shocking that Naruto would date guys. No that was a given with how gay their friend was. No the problem they were both having with this was that Naruto wouldn't get into a committed relationship. Not with Orochimaru out there. Not with the chance that any man he dated might become another victim.

"The troublesome blond started it." Itachi almost chuckled at the down right depressed expression on Shikamaru's face. "He didn't want to tell the press I was he bodyguard for some reason, so the blond goes and kisses me in front of dozens of cameras. Kakashi hasn't let it down yet."

"Kakashi?" Itachi could remember that pervy guy. He had trained Sasuke in hand to hand and weapons. He had also been a terrible influence on their cousin Tobi. Tobi had always been a little strange, a strangely happy peppy Uchiha. Nothing like the rest of the family. One of the reasons Itachi hadn't killed him when the family massacre happened. Tobi was too entertaining to kill.

However when Kakashi came Tobi took some of the things the guy did to heart. It hadn't gone over well. Tobi had decided to feel up everyone in the gang. Even Itachi himself. But Itachi wasn't even the worse one. Itachi had keep what he was feeling to himself and allowed everyone to laugh at it. No the worse was when Tobi decided to steak his hand done Zetsu's pants. Zetsu hadn't taken it so well. Zetsu had threaten to eat him slowly. Painfully. Zetsu had problems with his personality. So it had been even creepier when he had agreed with himself about Tobi's punishment. One personality had wanted to shot him first and then eat him. That way poor mislead Tobi wouldn't have to be in pain. The other wanted to eat him alive piece by piece. Tobi hadn't even had to be told to leave Zetsu alone. He had figured it out himself for once. Pulling his hand out of Zetsu's pants himself and sulking left the room. Zetsu had agreed with himself the rest of the night. The only good thing for Tobi is that Zetsu never agreed on what to do with him. So Tobi was still breathing.

Others members of Akatsuki had taken it much better. Especially Deidara. Who had decided to stick his hand straight into Tobi's pants back. Tobi of course didn't know anything about sex at the time. Deidara had had Tobi withering in his hold within seconds. Tobi's other hand forgotten in Deidara's pants. Deidara hadn't let up. He had slipped Tobi's hand out of his pants and tugged Tobi's body onto his lap. Tobi had ended up panting in pleasure on top of Deidara's lap leaning against Deidara's chest and his hands grasped tightly to the bar contour behind them. Deidara had played with the boy until he came in his pants and collapsed boneless in his lap. That wasn't Tobi's last release for the night. Deidara had walked away from the bar licked his hand clean of Tobi's cum, whereas his lover Sasori followed him, carrying the still recovering Tobi. That was the last time Tobi felt up anyone in public. Too bad it wasn't the last time Deidara felt him up in public. Sasori didn't seem to mind though because he always got some action in the end.

Yeah Itachi could remember Kakashi well. He had given them all some entertaining scary memories.

"Yeah my boss. So do you guys know anything or not."