I quickly walked away and went back to Freddie at our table where the food already came to, but suddenly I didn't feel so hungry, more like my stomach was tied in a huge not from all the guilt. Why couldn't I have just walked to school that day?
"Aren't you gonna eat?" Freddie finally asked after I've been stirring my soup for about five minutes.
"Umm, yeah," I said as I started taking tiny spoonfuls of soup.
"Sam, you look kinda sick, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, never been better..." I wasn't even convincing myself of that.
"Sam, if you don't feel good it's okay to go home," he said with his voice filled with concern, which only made the guilt worse. How can I possibly like Cole even a little? It doesn't make any sense...
"Really, I'm fine, I'm just not that hungry, that's all..." Ugh, I feel so horrible, like someone just punched a giant hole through my chest.
"You sure?"
"Yeah," I said with a weak smile.
"Well just tell me if you wanna go home," he said kindly before leaning over and kissing my forehead and I forced out a smile.
The rest of the dinner went by slowly, quietly, and for me, painfully. I mean, Freddie has no idea that I ever even talked to the guy, and now I have feelings for him? I hate myself so much right now... Now I'm at Carly's place after he dropped me off and I didn't even bother waking up Carly, I just laid down on the couch trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. I didn't even sleep, I stared at whatever my eyes happened to look at, and then finally Carly got up and came to wake me up, but my eyes were still wide open.
"Sam?" she asked a little confused.
"Yeah?" I asked plainly.
"Are you okay, you seem kinda...well, not Sam."
"I'm fine, just...tired."
"Well if you're tired then why weren't you asleep?"
"I don't know, I'm just not feeling that well today..."
"Well are you sick?"
"Maybe, I don't know." Wow I sound stupid.
"How do you not know if you're sick?"
"Well not really sick, just kinda...sad I guess."
"Why?" she said sitting next to me. "Wait, is it because of Cole?"
"Yeah, you could say that." Well I guess it is true.
"Aw Sam, don't let that jerk get you down, he's not worth it!"
"Yeah, but I think I might..."
"Might what?"
"Like him," I said in almost a whisper.
"You what? How?!" she said shocked.
"I don't know, he kept talking to me and being all sweet, and then he just got to me..."
"Well if you like him, then what's the problem?"
"I think I might like another guy too..."
"You like another guy?! Who?!" she asked loudly.
"I can't really tell you," I said awkwardly.
"Why not? Wait-you don't like my brother do you?" she said quickly.
"Ew, no, that's just wrong," I said with disgust.
"Well why can't you tell me then?"
"It's complicated, but can you please help me?" I pleaded.
"I guess, I mean that's what best friends are for right?"
"Thanks Carls," I said before giving her a brief hug.
"No problem," she said kindly.
At School
I was in biology class and we were doing a dissection of rat, gross right? Poor rats, whatever happened to the frogs? Did they already dissect all of them or something? Well this will be rather unpleasant.
"Now I will announce you partners for dissection, so listen closely because I will only say this once: Gibby and Jessica, Wendy and Regina, Ella and Megan, Mike and Ben, Tanner and Shane, Sam and Valerie..." The rest I didn't pay attention to, I can't believe I got paired up with Valerie! Does this teacher hate me?
"Hello Puckett," she said walking over to the desk and slamming her science book on it. I just rolled my eyes at her and leaned back in my chair.
"Look, I'm not enjoying this anymore than you are, so why don't you just drop that little tough act of yours and dissect this disgusting thing."
"You're calling the rat disgusting? Have you ever even seen a mirror?"
"You're lucky I actually have some class unlike you or you would regret every word you ever said to me."
"Pfft, like I'm afraid of a little barbie doll," I said rolling my eyes again.
"I wouldn't be talking if I were you blondie," she retorted. Just then I heard something drop on the table, it was the rat.
"Oh gross," said Valerie covering her eyes. And the dissection hasn't even started yet.
"Wimp," I said under my breath.
"I'm right here you know," she said taking her hand off her eyes.
"Yeah, I do know, sadly." I picked up one of the tools and swiftly sliced open whatever I saw on the diagram the teacher handed out while Valerie watched with disgust written all over her face.
"You could help a little if you're done being such girly girl?"
"Just because I care about how I look doesn't make me a girly girl, and I don't wanna go to the nurse because of all the blood." Thanks for reminding me, I was trying to ignore the blood, but now I'm starting to feel sick. I mean I've just had it with blood lately, I'm surprised I didn't faint yet.
"Yeah, well you're the one who's gonna get a bad grade," I said pushing the bloody rat over to her side of the table.
"Fine, and you do know that pretty much everyone knows about you and Cole," she said randomly.
"What the hell are you talking about now?"
"Oh don't play dumb, everyone knows about you and Cole's little make-out session on the bus," she said not making any eye contact.
"We weren't making out," I said sternly.
"Well that's not what everyone thinks, it's gone practically around the whole school now." Oh god-Freddie.
"Well whoever believes that rumor is a complete idiot."
"Yeah, well pretty much the whole school believes it," she said before passing the rat back to me. I was suddenly sick to my stomach again from all the blood and the fear of Freddie finding out. A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought of all the possible things he could say to me, and none of them good.
"Sam? Are you sick or something?" Valerie asked, but I didn't respond. My vision started getting blurry before once again, everything became black.
So I hope you like it, please review, it's for the children! 0:)