Freaking Super

by LateInLifeTiburon

AU. The comic books don't tell you everything. Like when to take the mask off, for example. Superhero!Santana, Brittana, Samcedes

14. Panacea

A/N: Some of this might be confusing. Some of it is angsty. I don't have much to say besides that, so without further ado: Chapter 14.

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by FOX and RIB.

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Chapter 14: Panacea

When I opened my eyes, all I saw was bubbling, green Goo above me.

Suddenly, I was very, very, awake.

Green. Burning. Pain. Pain. Pain.

5.

I let out a noise that was half-gasp, half-scream and tried to move myself away from the Goo, but my body was frozen in fear. A low surge of energy began tingling at the base of my neck and creeping up the back of my skull. My pulse sped up and adrenaline coursed through my veins as memories of seizures, limp bodies, and blue smoke came rushing back.

Brittany. Kurt's got her. You have to find her. Get up.

6.

Somewhere, a heart rate monitor began to beep wildly.

"Oh god," I croaked. My mouth was drier than the Sahara. "I can't- somebody, please! Help! Brittany!"

I flattened myself against the surface I was lying on, whining like a scared puppy. The sound of running feet barely registered in my brain and before I knew it, Ben, Tina, Figgins, and Himanshu were hovering over me.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Tina cooed. "You're okay. Just hang tight for a second." She picked up a doctor tool from the tray beside me and started checking my eyes with it.

"Where's Brittany?" I shrieked, unable to hold a coherent thought. "Where is she?"

I have to get to her. I have to find her. I have to save her.

"Brittany's fine, now hold still!"

I squirmed away as Tina examined me, but Himanshu grabbed my head and held it in place. After a few seconds, Tina nodded and put the tool back on the tray. "She's clear."

Ben pointed a remote control at the ceiling. Instantly, the bubbling Goo disappeared and the ceiling turned into boring, grey cinderblock. My body deflated, sinking into the mattress beneath me.

"What the… it's a fucking hologram?" I was disoriented and confused.

Ben twirled the remote in his hand and put it in his pocket. "Just a safety precaution. We didn't want you getting out of bed if you weren't in your right mind."

Puck waved from the bed next to mine. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Did you enjoy your nap?"

David was fast asleep in the bed on the other side of me, surrounded by machines. My stomach turned at the thought that I might be the cause of his condition.

"Puck, stop acting like you didn't just wake up five minutes ago," Tina said as she poured me a glass of water. I sat up and chugged it, forcing the contents of the glass down my throat, ice chunks and all. As I drank, I took an appraising look at the McKinley folks.

They all looked terrible.

Himanshu's hair was sticking up in all directions and his clothes were stained with grease and cheese dust. It looked like he'd missed a few showers and hadn't slept in days. The skin on Ben's face and hands, which was normally the same warm brown as Mercedes's, looked ashy and gray in some places, red and raw in others. Every few seconds, his fingers would twitch and he'd take an extra deep breath, like he was calming himself down. The changes in Tina and Figgin's appearances weren't as drastic or as noticeable. Their hair was a mess and they looked a little disheveled, but what caught my attention was the way they were carrying themselves. They just looked incredibly sad.

Nothing seemed to be wrong with Puck other than the things that were usually wrong with Puck, and David just looked like he was in a deep sleep.

"Let me first say that I'm very glad to see that you're both awake and lucid," Figgins announced, donning a smile that didn't quite fit his solemn demeanor, but still seemed genuine. "It seems that we were correct in believing that Wes's mind control only works within a certain range."

The mention of Wes and mind control brought more memories rushing back. My pulse sped up and adrenaline coursed through my veins. White light began to cloud my vision, but I shook my head fiercely to clear it.

"Where's Brittany?" I asked, sitting up straight. "Is she okay? Is she safe?"

The last time I had seen Brittany, she was unconscious, lying limp in the arms of a robot.

What if Kurt got her? What if he saw the robots taking off and had them shot down? What if she fell out of the sky and broke her neck-

My hands clenched painfully in my lap. Tina put her hands over mine and waited until I made eye contact with her.

"Santana, calm down." She waved for everyone to step back. "Give her some air."

"I need to see Brittany. Please," I begged.

They all looked at each other in a way that clearly conveyed that a) something bad had happened and b) nobody wanted to be the one to tell me about it. My heart rammed itself into my throat as I prepared for the worst.

He got her. He got her and Quinn and now-

"They're not…" I closed my eyes as my mouth failed to form the most important word in the sentence. "Are they?"

"They're not dead," Tina answered, understanding the question I couldn't ask. I let out a relieved breath and sank back into the mattress again. "They're here in the building. They're both stable."

I wasn't stupid. I knew that "they're both stable" and "they're both fine" were two different things.

"I need to see for myself."

"Calm down first. Breathe." She started taking nice, slow breaths and stared me down until I imitated her. I matched her breathing and pulled oxygen deep down into my lungs. I caught Ben's eye and he mouthed the word "shake" to me, so I shook the tension out of my cramping hands and laid them flat on the bed. After a minute or two, the surge of energy died down and my heart rate returned to normal.

"Now, that everyone is calm," Figgins said, "there are a few things you two need to know about your condition so that you can understand some of the decisions that have been made on your behalf while you were unconscious. We'll all need to sit down and hear your accounts of the events that took place at the mall, but considering the current state of things, that conversation can wait a few days."

"This sounds way too serious to be anything good," Puck snorted. "How long were we out anyway?"

"You were both unconscious for a little less than two days."

It was almost the same tone he used when he told me that I'd been asleep for two weeks. A horrible feeling of déjà vu came over me and I began to dread what he was going to tell me next. I raised my hand and waited to be called on. Figgins rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Santana?"

"You'll have to excuse me for expecting the worst from you, Figgins, but are you about to tell me that some strange chemical has done something horrible to my body and changed me forever?"

He fidgeted nervously. "Well… not quite. In most situations, the foreign substance that was recently introduced to your system will have no effect on you."

In most situations?

I pushed that thought out of my head. I didn't care about me. I felt fine. I just wanted to know about Brittany.

I sat up straighter and clapped my hands together. "Great! I'm running on all cylinders. The Santana store is open for business. So how's Brittany? And Quinn, too. I guess."

No one spoke.

"They're here and they aren't dead," I continued, "so I think you should tell me what's going on before I get up and go find out for myself."

Figgins cleared his throat.

"Let's start from the beginning, shall we?" He tried to smile, but it looked so forced that he had to drop it. "I'm sure both of you are familiar with the Vitals Board."

Ben pulled out the remote that he had used to turn of the Goo hologram and pointed it at a random spot in the air. The Vitals Board appeared above us. I remembered it from my time in Alaska. It had everyone's names, faces, codenames, and vital health statistics on it. I was still there, listed as "Santana Lopez, Patient," but now there were two new names on the board.

"Brittany Pierce, Patient" and "Lucille Fabray, Patient."

Figgins gestured to the board. "As you both know, we embedded a chip into your arm that tracks your vitals and reports back to the board."

"Yup. Still grosses me out," Puck mumbled, running his fingertips over his forearm.

The chips were "standard McKinley procedure" and everyone had one. Even Artie and Jacob Ben Israel's vitals were still being reported to the board, despite the fact that everyone hated them and wished they were dead.

He turned to me. "Two days ago around noon, Himanshu's police scanner became inundated with reports of some strange activities occurring at the Lima Mall. Not long after, we noticed that your heart rate had plummeted well below what's considered acceptable for most human beings. We decided that those two incidents were probably linked and the team went to the mall to find you. Unfortunately, Puck walked inside with his helmet open and… well."

"I just wanted to finish my cheeseburger! I didn't know there was going to be crazy gas in the air!" Puck looked down at his lap, embarrassed that all this trouble had been caused because of something so silly.

"Well, it's a good thing you showed up when you did," I said, trying to make him feel better. "I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to make it out of there alive."

"Technically, you didn't," Tina corrected. "Wes's ability has some odd side-effects, most of which we have yet to discover. One of them is that your heart completely stops beating when he has complete control over you. I'm assuming he could make it beat for you if he really wanted to."

Puck tilted his head in thought. "That would explain the coldness."

"And what exactly is Wes's ability? Blowing crazy blue smoke at people?" I flipped through images of that day in my head, trying to remember everything that happened.

"That 'crazy blue smoke' isn't smoke at all," Tina explained. "It's actually a cloud of tiny spores. Once you breathe them in, they travel through your blood stream at a ridiculously high rate. When they reach your brain, they settle and begin to grow, releasing chemicals that allow Wes to control various parts of your brain."

Puck's eyes bugged out of his head. "That's so fucking scary that I hope you're lying."

"It's true, baby." Tina sighed as her eyes became glassy. "If you get too close to Wes, he'll pretty much have complete control over you. The closer you are, the stronger his influence is."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "But not anymore, right? Because that stuff is out of our heads. We're okay now… right?"

"Oh no, it's definitely still in there," Figgins replied. "We haven't found a way to remove or kill the spores. We've run some tests and they seem to be immune to most conventional methods of destruction."

"So we're just Wes's puppets forever," Puck said flatly.

Tina stroked his arm, obviously distressed by the prospect of losing her boyfriend to Wes's control. "As long as we keep you away from Wes, we can keep working out a solution."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because we're so good at staying away from Wes. Half the time you guys are looking for Kurt and his crew."

"And that's exactly why you two won't be involved in our dealings with Kurt anymore," Ben said.

Puck snorted. "Like fuck I won't."

"Noah," Tina said softly.

"I'm as much a part of this team as everybody else," he argued. "I'm not gonna be sidelined because of some stupid brain dust."

"Puck, if Wes comes anywhere near you, you become a liability," Himanshu said. "I had a whole fleet of robots that couldn't stop you. With your strength, it's too dangerous to let you loose like that."

"Bullshit. I can control myself."

"What?! You attacked us!" Ben yelled. "And the police! The only reason we were able to stop you was because you freaked Santana out and she hit you with a lightning bolt. It knocked you out."

Oh. Whoops.

Puck threw his hands up, angry that he was being overruled. "There's nothing you can do to get this stuff out? What about the Goo? It can't like, heal this shit or something?"

"Funny you should mention that," Figgins said. The expression on his face told me that he didn't think it was funny at all. "The spores are made of Goo and the Goo does not attack itself."

"So what you're saying is that we're screwed."

Figgins nodded glumly. "The Goo will protect your brain from any damage the spores try to cause, but it won't kill the spores."

I put my hand up again. "Back up there, doc. I heard brain damage."

"Yes, brain damage. The chemical that Wes uses to control your mind is toxic to the average human's brain. Once it's absorbed, it wreaks all kinds of havoc. The Goo in your system repairs that damage instantly. Within milliseconds, even."

"Santana, everything should be fine in your case because you've been SNIX'd," Tina explained. "The Goo is a permanent part of you and it will always be readily available to protect your brain."

She turned to Puck with a grim look on her face. A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly turned away again, wiping her face on her lab coat.

"Puck, your situation is… different. Your brain is only protected as long as you're in a Juiced state."

Puck's brow furrowed for a second before a look of horrified realization dawned on him. Himanshu and Ben matched his expression.

"Oh fuck," he whispered.

"Oh F-word, indeed," Figgins sighed.

Ben shook his head. "Jesus Christ. When were you gonna tell us about this?"

"We're telling you about it now," Tina said.

"Excuse me, I'm a little slow today. Why is this a problem?" I asked, feeling stupid and out of the loop. "I thought you guys all get Juiced once a week or something."

"Not anymore," Himanshu said. "We're experiencing a little bit of a Goo shortage."

"More like a major Goo shortage," Ben muttered. "We don't have enough Goo for everyone to stay Juiced all the time. Now we only Juice when we have jobs to do, so we can make money and hopefully figure out a way to start producing Goo again."

"That's why David is… indisposed at the moment," Figgins said.

I took another look at David's motionless form and now I recognized the machines surrounding him as various means of life-support.

"So you just let the Goo wear off and now he's…" I didn't know what he was.

"Brain dead," Ben finished.

It occurred to me that I'd never asked David about his injuries. I knew Puck's car accident left him paralyzed from the waist down. I knew that a roadside bomb had burned Ben beyond recognition.

Why did David sign up for the McKinley project? What the hell happened to him?

"Don't worry, he's alright," Figgins assured me. "When another job opens up, we'll Juice him again and he'll be back to normal."

"Juice him with what?" Himanshu just shook his head and sighed. "We can't survive like this. This isn't sustainable."

"Everyone understands that, Himanshu-"

"Uncle Raj, I ran the numbers again this morning and they were bad enough then!" He flung his arm towards the Vitals Board hologram. "We Juiced everyone last week and those jobs didn't pay off the way we'd hoped. We barely even have enough Goo to Juice one person a week to go do a job or two. How are we going to manage constantly Juicing Puck and-"

Tina grabbed Himanshu's arm and forced it down, all the while staring at me with wide eyes.

"Stop," she hissed, barely allowing her lips to move. "She doesn't know."

Himanshu's mouth snapped shut and the two of them stared at me, not speaking.

You're the "she" that they're talking about and the thing you don't know is probably something you don't want to know.

"There's something else, isn't there?" I asked.

"Santana… there are some things you need to understand." Figgins paused for a second, silently communicating something with his eyes to Tina. "As I said before, some decisions were made in your absence."

Tina turned to Ben, Himanshu, and Puck. "Can you guys give us a moment? We'll catch up with you all later."

Puck slid off his bed and the guys walked towards the door. Ben quickly pulled Puck close to him and began whispering, looking over his shoulder at me as they entered the hall.

I'm pretty sure I heard Puck gasp in the hallway. I knew whatever they had to tell me wasn't going to be good.

Figgins motioned for me to stand. "Come, Santana. Let's take a walk."

I hopped off the bed and followed behind Figgins and Tina as they walked directly across the hall and into the next room. The room was set up exactly like mine, except there were way more machines in it. They were all hooked up to the small, frail blonde in the bed, keeping her alive.

"Oh my god," I whispered, stopping in the doorway.

I didn't think Quinn could look worse than she had at the mall, but I was very wrong. She was paler than the sheets draped over her. No longer bleeding and seizing, she at least appeared to be sleeping peacefully.

"Jesus," I muttered under my breath. "He really did a number on you, didn't he?"

"The average human's brain is unable to protect itself from the damage caused by the spores," Figgins said from behind me. "This is the result."

My heart took off at a million miles an hour again.

"And Brittany?" I choked out.

Tina threw Figgins a nervous glance. "Quinn was exposed to the spores before Brittany, right?"

I nodded.

Tina walked around to the other side of the bed and pointed to an x-ray that was hanging on the wall. It showed the inside of Quinn's skull, where jagged crystalline structures jutted out every which way all over her brain. It looked like the Fortress of Solitude.

"Eventually, the spores stop growing and they start to crystalize," Tina said. "Once the crystals form, the body shuts down altogether. By the time we got Brittany and Quinn back here, Quinn's brain already looked like this. We were able to stop the process from happening to Brittany, but we don't know what to do for Quinn. We're using these machines to keep her alive until we can find some way to reverse the damage."

As much as I hated Quinn, I didn't think she deserved this. Maybe a Lima Heights style ass-whooping, but not this. It was worse than I ever could have imagined.

"And the Goo?" I asked.

Figgins frowned. "We've run some tests in the lab, using the spores on lab mice and letting their brains crystallize. We hoped the Goo might reverse the damage. Instead, it causes a somewhat violent chemical reaction."

"The crystals shatter," Tina whispered. I shuddered and she gave my upper arm a reassuring rub. "You don't have to worry about this happening to you, though. Since you already have Goo in your brain, the spores won't be able to form crystals. You're safe."

She didn't understand. It wasn't me that I was concerned about. All I could see was Quinn seizing, Quinn bleeding profusely from her nose, and Brittany breathing in the same cloud of spores that had caused those things to happen.

If the spores turned normal human Quinn into a vegetable-

"I'd like to see Brittany now," I said, trying to sound calm. "Please."

Figgins nodded. "Yes. I think that would be best."

We left the room and started walking down the hall, but Tina and Figgins strode past the rest of the patient rooms without stopping. I wanted to speak up, but I figured they knew where they were going.

The hallway ended and opened into a wide space, full of robots, various vehicles, and metal barrels that probably weren't full of Goo anymore. Everything looked pretty McKinley-ish. All of their facilities looked similar. We could've been anywhere in the world.

"Where exactly are we?" I asked.

"Right now, we're in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Lima," Figgins replied over his shoulder. "We got a very good deal on it from the city. It's been our temporary headquarters for the past few weeks."

We walked past Tina's office and finally came to a room with a radiation warning symbol on the door. Some part of me had to have figured out what happened at that point just because of where we were. All McKinley buildings were set up the exact same way, so it was pretty obvious.

Himanshu always had his own area with a billion computer screens and tools. The bedrooms were near the back of the building. There was a makeshift gym near the entrance. The lab was far away from everything else in case Figgins blew something up. Figgins' office was always right next to Tina's.

And the room next to Tina's office, the one with the radiation warning symbol on the door, was always used for one thing. So it's not like I didn't know.

But for some reason, part of my brain couldn't understand why we would be standing at the door of this particular room. Maybe I didn't want to understand.

Figgins punched a code into the keypad and the metal door slid open. I wasn't surprised by what I saw inside. The room looked the same as it did in Alaska and Canada. It was just four concrete walls with some barrels stacked in the corners. The tubes running from the barrels snaked neatly across the floor and the Goo flowing through them cast the room in an eerie green glow. Usually there were three metal chambers sitting on the floor, marked with large, black numbers: 44 for Ben, 45 for David, and 46 for Puck. There was only one chamber in this room. It was shiny and new and marked with a large, black 47.

"Why are we here?" I asked. "Where's Brittany?"

That look was there again, written guiltily all over Figgins and Tina's faces. The look that meant all kinds of things that I didn't want to acknowledge.

"Santana," Tina said softly. "She's right here."

I shook my head because it didn't make any sense. I might have even laughed out loud.

"What the hell are you talking about? She's not here. You need to take me to wherever she is."

"She's right here," Tina repeated. She walked over to the large metal box on the floor and stood next to it.

"No, she's not," I insisted. My voice was shaking wildly and rising steadily in volume. "You're here and I'm here-"

"Santana-"

"-and Figgins is here, but Brittany is not here. Please, guys. Stop fucking around."

The room was silent.

"Please," I begged. My voice cracked. "Please don't tell me you did what I think you did."

"It was the only way, Santana." Figgins put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off roughly. I slowly made my way across the room, barely listening to his explanation as he spoke. "We took samples of spores from their clothing as soon as they got here and began running tests. We realized very quickly that we wouldn't be able to help Ms. Fabray for the time being, but we would be able to stop Ms. Pierce's brain from crystallizing if she underwent the Juicing process."

I stood over the chamber, which looked entirely too much like a coffin, and stared at the large black 47 that was printed on the top. I could see my own anguished expression reflected in the polished steel. Hot tears filled my eyes and made everything blur together into one depressing smudge.

You did this to her. This is all your fault.

I sank to the ground and slumped over the chamber, letting out a choked sob. Tina sat down on top of the chamber and I wanted to yell at her not to sit there. There was a person in there, a person who was having her life saved and ruined all at the same time.

"Everything's going to be alright," Tina cooed, stroking my head. "She's going to be okay now."

"Okay?" I wanted to laugh, but my expression twisted into a tortured grimace. "You think she's going to be okay with the fact that you're turning her into a freak? You think she's going to be okay with the fact that she's gotta get a chemical fix every week for the rest of her life? You think she's going to be okay with the fact that her best friend is basically dead? It's not going to be okay, Tina. This is never going to be okay."

You did this to her. This is-

"-all my fault. I did this to her. This is all my fault. I did it. It's all-"

Tina gently guided my head into her lap. "Fig, can you-"

"Yes, certainly," he said quickly and strode out of the room. The metal door slid shut behind him, leaving Tina and I alone in the soft green glow of the Goo tubes.

Tina continued to stroke my hair as I silently soaked her scrubs with my tears.

"Brittany might not be okay with all of the changes that are happening, but you know what she is going to be okay with? Being alive. Juicing her was the only way to do that. She's going to understand that and she's not going to hate you for any of this."

"You don't know that," I mumbled.

"I do know that. Even though I only met her for about 30 seconds that one time and she totally hated me, I saw how important you were to her. I can tell she cares about you a lot." She paused. "Did you do everything you could to stop Kurt from whatever he was doing at the mall?"

"Of course."

"And did you try your best to help her and Quinn?"

"Yeah, I tried, but it didn't-"

"So how can she be upset? I'm sure if you hadn't been there, she'd be much worse off than she is now."

"She'd be so much better off if she'd never gotten involved with me." I hugged Tina's leg painfully hard and clenched my jaws to stop the next sob. "This is such a fucking mess, Tina."

Tina sighed. "I know it is, but guess what?"

I looked up at her, waiting for her to lay some wisdom on me.

"There's nothing you can do about it."

I glared at her and rested my chin on her knee. "Never become a motivational speaker, Tina."

"No, really," she went on. "What can you possibly do to change this situation? Nothing. You can't get rid of the spores. You can't make it all go away. So don't get hung up on this when you can be concentrating on what you need to do next."

I rolled my watery eyes. "And what do I need to do next, oh wise one?"

A finger slowly lifted my chin and I was soon staring into Tina's dark brown eyes. "Be there for her. She's going to need you. Her life is about to change dramatically. You what that's like. Give her something you didn't have. A familiar face to be there when she wakes up. Someone she knows that can be strong for her. Someone who can guide her through the rough spots. Be her rock."

"I want to, but Tina… I've lied to her so much about all of this."

"About your powers or the fact that you've been running around in Puck's clothes, zapping people with lasers?" she asked.

I swallowed hard. "You guys know about that?"

"We do watch the news, Santana," she laughed.

"And you don't care?"

"Not really," she said. "You're a grown-up. As long as you don't end up getting us in trouble, you're allowed to live your life as you see fit. I could see why you'd want to keep it a secret, though."

"Well, I've been outright lying about that and everything else," I said. "If I tell her the truth, she's never going to trust me again."

Tina dropped her finger from my chin. "So what are you going to do? Run home with your tail between your legs and let her go through this all alone?"

"No, I would never leave her," I said.

She shrugged. "Then I guess your choice is already made."

I took a slow, deep breath and let it out as I ran my hand over the cool metal of the chamber.

"When does she come out of this thing?" I asked wearily.

"Six in the morning," Tina said. She slowly moved to get up and I scooted backwards so she could stand. "Are you coming?"

I settled down next to the chamber. "I think I'm gonna just stay here. I don't… I don't want to leave her by herself."

Tina left the room. A few seconds later, she was back with a blanket and a pillow.

"Let us know if you need anything," she said. Then she left and we were alone.

---

"I never wanted this for you."

The metal felt cool and smooth under my lips as I whispered against it. I put my head back on my pillow and pulled the blanket up under my chin, snuggling up next to the coffin-shaped box.

"I wanted to keep all of this separate, you know? I wanted it to stay far, far away and never touch you. Guess I was asking for too much."

Talking to Brittany's chamber made me feel a little better despite the fact that it reminded me of sitting in the grass at Lima Heights Cemetery, telling the mundane details of my week to the headstone of ALMA LOPEZ, LOVING MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND FRIEND, GRANT HER THY ETERNAL REST.

I stared into the shiny metal, looking past my reflection as if it would help me see Brittany's face. Was she resting peacefully? Was she in pain? Was she already feeling the effects?

"I hate that this happened to you, but I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive."

I'd really almost lost her. The girl who lit up my bar with her smile and her laugh for six months had almost died. The girl who always found the silliest things to compliment me on ("nobody gets their cocktail shakers as shiny as yours, Santana") just so she could see my cheesy, dopey grin had narrowly escaped death. She was the same girl who comforted Mercedes while I was missing. The girl who, despite everything her family said, was trying to figure herself out. For me.

"I'm really, really happy that you didn't die because-" A dull ache in the center of chest flared up and I had to take deep breaths just to stay calm. I pushed my hand against my chest to keep my pounding heart from bursting out of my ribs. I forced a painful laugh around the lump in my throat, stopping the sentence in its tracks.

Because I don't know what I'd do without you.

It was a scary thought for me to be having, especially about Brittany, who could potentially wake up with super powers and never want to see me again. Nonetheless, it had popped into my head and I didn't really know what to do with it. I didn't want to read too much into that thought and the emotions that might be associated with it. Just thinking about it scared the crap out of me.

"Promise me that when I tell you… the truth, that you won't hate me," I pleaded. My voice cracked and I didn't care. "Ok? Can you do that?"

She didn't answer. Alma never answered, either.

I scooted closer to the chamber so that the metal was pressed against my side. For the rest of the night I laid there, thinking of a million ways to tell Brittany the things I'd never wanted to say.

---

Puck was standing over me when I woke up. I jumped when I saw him and smacked my head on the side of the chamber.

"Ow! What the hell are you doing, you weirdo?" I rubbed my head and sat up groggily. I'd only slept for an hour.

"Tina wants me to do the chamber checks and get ready to move Brittany. Didn't mean to freak you out." He shifted from foot to foot. "Um, I kinda need you to move."

"Oh, sorry."

I picked up my blanket and pillow and moved out of the way. Puck bent down next to the chamber and started fooling with a small laptop near the Goo tubes. A robotic female voice began to make announcements as he fiddled with the computer.

"Chamber Number Forty-Seven is currently in Stabilizing Cycle Five. The temperature is 108.7 degrees Fahrenheit. There are fifty minutes remaining."

Ben walked in, rolling a gurney behind him. "Morning, folks. You know, we could've dragged a bed in here if- fuck!"

Stopping mid-sentence, he gritted his teeth and started vigorously scratching his body through his long-sleeved shirt. It took him a little while to get the scratching under control and when he did, he looked highly uncomfortable. His skin looked worse than it had the day before. He was starting to peel.

I took a few steps away from him. "Ok, now I'm awake. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I've only got a couple of hours left before I Lapse," he grunted, tugging at his shirt.

I looked at him blankly for clarification.

"A Lapse is what we call it when the Goo wears off," he explained. "I'm turning back into a pumpkin, Cinderella."

"Tina's gonna kick your ass if she sees you scratching like that," Puck said from the floor.

"We're out of burn salve and it itches like a motherfucker," Ben muttered, discreetly rubbing the places he'd been scratching. "Where are we at with this chamber?"

"Stabilizing Cycles," Puck said with a grimace, which Ben returned.

"What are Stabilizing Cycles?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"One hundred minutes in Hell," Ben muttered. "It's the only part of Juicing where you have to be awake. It's probably not as painful as SNIXing, but it's no walk in the park."

"Sorry, Brittany," Puck shouted at the chamber. "Stabilizing Cycle Five is a bitch. You're halfway done, though. Hang in there."

I hugged the pillow to my chest. "Wait, she can hear you?"

"If I yell." He pressed a button and the Goo inside of the tubes on the floor stopped flowing. "She should've woken up when the Stabilizing Cycles started."

He stood up and took a step back, gesturing for me to take his spot. "Here, you can talk to her if you want. Tina always talks to me when I'm stabilizing. It's hard to hear in there, though. There's a lot of machinery and pumps and shit. You gotta yell."

I stepped forward, but even after being with her all night, I had no idea what to say. Part of me was afraid to even speak. Once she heard my voice and knew I was there, there was no turning back. I stood there with my mouth opening and closing like a fish, but no words came out.

"You don't have to," Puck said quickly, realizing he'd put me on the spot. "I just thought you might want to, that's all."

"We could put a movie on," Ben suggested. "I always put the TV on in here when I'm about to Juice so that when I wake up, I have something to focus on."

"Do you have any Disney movies?" I asked hopefully. "She likes those."

Puck held up a finger. "Hold on, I'll see what I've got."

He ran out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a small TV on a cart and a DVD case.

"Here you go." He flung the case at me like a frisbee and I caught it just before it smashed into my face. The cover of the DVD showed a naked woman riding someone who was dressed in a kangaroo costume. The title of this family feature film was "Land Down Under."

"Puck."

"Yeah?"

"This is porn. This is Furry porn."

"No, it's not. I lost the real case. Open it."

I opened the case of "Land Down Under" to find the DVD for "The Lion King."

"I'm not going to ask any other questions because it's none of my business, but are you sure this is the real Lion King? As in 'Disney's The Lion King'? I'd like to be sure before we put it in and I'm exposed to a genre of porn that I'd planned to be willfully ignorant about for the rest of my life."

He winked. "Looks like you'll just have to pop it in and see, now won't you?"

I glared at him and tossed the movie to Ben since he was closer to the TV. Ben looked at the case and laughed. "You're one freaky dude, Puckerman."

Luckily for me, the movie actually was "The Lion King." We sat down on the floor and for the next fifty minutes, we watched the movie with Brittany.

At the end of tenth Stabilizing Cycle, the small laptop near the chamber started beeping.

"Stabilization Complete. Chamber Number Forty Seven will open in sixty seconds."

"Oh shit, places everybody," Ben said, grabbing the gurney. He and pushed it to the foot of the chamber and Puck stood next to the chamber with his knees and arms bent.

I looked around frantically, looking for a way to be useful. "What should I do? What should I do?"

"Stop freaking out for one," Puck said, watching the laptop's screen. "You're acting like her water just broke."

"You need to be calm because she's not going to be," Ben said. "We probably should've discussed that part with you."

I narrowed my eyes. "What part?"

"She's going to be a little off for a while. There's going to be a lot of excess energy in her body. It takes a few Juicings before we can get the dosage correct and before her body knows how to handle it, so she's going to be ch-"

"Process Complete. Door Opening."

"It's time!" Puck announced. "Here we go, boys and girls!"

The top of the chamber popped open and I leaned forward to see inside. Puck pushed the door out of the way and bent down. All I could hear was heavy panting and all I could see around Puck's body were Brittany's long legs. She moaned in pain as Puck scooped her out of the box.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Puck quickly and gently moved her to the gurney. When he stepped back, I finally saw her face. Her blond hair was matted to her head with sweat. Her skin was red and angry-looking, standing out in stark contrast from her white hospital gown. Her lips were chapped and swollen. Her bright blue eyes were wild, searching the room frantically for something, anything. When they locked with mine, she let out a loud gasp.

Puck and Ben rolled the gurney out into the hallway just as she started trying to speak.

"Sa- Sa-"

"I'm here!" I ran up beside them. "I'm here, I'm right here."

Her arms and legs were shaking. She winced every time Puck or Ben would hold her shoulder or ankle to keep her from flying off the gurney as we quickly rounded corners.

"Sa- Sa- San-"

I willed back the tears that were threatening to fall, watching her struggle to say my name. "It's okay, B. Don't try to talk. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, okay?"

Don't you dare cry, Lopez. Suck it up and be strong for her.

Her eyes stayed trained on my face, watching me intensely as we rolled through the building. I couldn't look away. I would've followed that gurney off of a cliff.

They wheeled her into a patient room and transferred her to the bed as gently as possible. Tina was already there, ready to doctor.

"She's not really gonna be 'all there' for a little while, Santana," Tina said as she began hooking Brittany up to machines. "She's very disoriented and she's probably gonna crash by the time I'm done examining her. You can wait outside if you want."

"No, I want to be here," I insisted.

The corner of Tina's mouth quirked up into a smile. "Atta girl."

Puck handed me a glass of ice water with a straw in it and I quickly put it to Brittany's mouth. She drank deeply, never letting her eyes leave mine.

"Alright, time for all Y-chromosome owners to leave the room."

"Keep us posted," Puck said. He filled another glass with ice water and left it on the side table before following Ben out of the room.

I kept my gaze locked on Brittany as Tina carefully wiped the sweat from her brow and spread some oily-looking ointment on her legs and arms. She kept struggling to say my name, but I could tell that she was out of it. Her eyes would become unfocused and her mouth would fall open every so often, like she was dozing off. Her body wouldn't stop shaking. My own hands shook as I gripped the edge of her bed. I whispered soft words of encouragement to her as I stood by her bedside.

Halfway through the examination, just like Tina had predicted, Brittany fell asleep. The shaking in her body lessened as her breathing slowed and the nervous energy in my own body slowly faded.

Once Tina was finished, she took off her gloves and tossed them in the trashcan. "She's going to be asleep for a few hours, but after that, she probably won't sleep again all week."

"All week?" I asked incredulously.

"She won't be able to. She'll be charged up, jittery, probably scared out of her mind. But you're gonna be here and you're going to be strong for her, right?"

"Always," I promised.

Tina smiled. "I'll be back later to check up on her. If you need anything, just holler."

---

Even before she opened her eyes, I could feel the hum of energy as it raced through her body, almost like an electric current pulsing through her.

When she finally did open them, she stared at me blankly for a minute like she had no idea who I was.

Fuck. What if she doesn't remember me? But she tried to say my name before. What if-

"S-santana." Her eyes were questioning, not like she didn't recognize me, but like she didn't understand my presence. Her breath was coming in short bursts and the shaking in her limbs was even more pronounced now that she was awake again.

I jumped up from my seat at the end of the bed and rushed to her side, reaching out to hold her shaking hands.

"Brittany," I said softly. I instantly felt overwhelmed. Tears welled up in my eyes again and I blinked them away.

"What's going on?" Brittany rasped. "Why are we here? Am I sick?"

The rapid-fire questions caught me off guard.

Um… fuck.

"I… I…" I didn't know how to answer any of that. "Let's wait for the doctors to come back and we'll talk about it. How are you feeling?"

She's alive. She's right here and she's okay.

Brittany's eyes roamed my face slowly and her puzzled expression deepened.

"I feel sick," she said hoarsely. "My head hurts."

Damnit, Juicing was supposed to make her feel better, not worse!

I didn't know how to help her so I handed her the glass of water from the side table. She drained it while watching me carefully and handed it back to me.

Looking down at her limbs, she frowned. "I feel like I just ate a billion Pixie Sticks."

I took her hands again and stroked her palms, which were no longer red and raw. "It's okay, just take a few deep breaths. Maybe that will help."

Brittany breathed in deeply through her nose and exhaled through her mouth about twenty times before we realized it was having absolutely no effect.

She gripped my hands tighter. "Santana, it's not helping. I can't stop shaking. What's happening to me? Where's my dad? Oh my god, where's Quinn? Is she alright-"

"Brittany, calm down for a second," I said in my most soothing voice.

"I'm trying, I can't," she whimpered. "What's wrong with me?"

"You… let's just try to get your shaking under control."

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight to me. The shaking lessened slightly as she returned the hug and rested her cheek against mine.

"Better?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but you can't hold me forever, San."

"Yes, I can." I squeezed her body tighter against mine and pressed my lips to her skin. "I thought… I thought I was never going to get to hold you again. I'm going to hold onto you as long as I can."

No one is ever going to hurt you again.

She turned her head to speak, but I caught her lips with mine and started kissing her. She let out a surprised squeak and spread her shaky fingers out across my lower back. I leaned forward, pushing her back against the pillows. The kiss was deep and desperate and completely inappropriate. She pulled away, resting her forehead against mine and taking a large, gasping breath. Her cheeks were flushed and she stared at me with wide eyes.

"You're supposed to help calm me down," she whispered.

"Sorry," I muttered. I hadn't meant to maul her.

A throat cleared behind me and I turned to see Figgins and Tina standing in the doorway. I stepped back and let Brittany sit up, but kept my arm loosely draped over her shoulders.

"I hope we're not interrupting anything," Figgins said as he and Tina entered the room. Brittany looked mortified.

Tina graciously didn't laugh, but she looked like she wanted to. "Just came to make sure Brittany was alright."

It was clear that Figgins and Tina wanted to talk to Brittany about what had happened, but I didn't want to go anywhere.

Figgins smiled kindly at her and introduced himself. "Hello, Brittany. My name is Dr. Rajesh Figgins."

"And I'm Dr. Tina Cohen-Chang. You're in the medical wing of our… temporary facility."

It was the same way I'd been introduced to them and all of the déjà vu was making me want to hurl.

Brittany's eyebrows shot up and she sat forward. "I know you. You're Santana's friend, the one that was at her apartment."

Tina blushed and fiddled with the pen on her clipboard. "Yeah, that's me."

"And now you're my doctor?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Tina nodded. "This totally isn't going to be awkward," she mumbled under her breath.

Figgins, completely oblivious to what was happening, plowed on with his speech. "Ms. Pierce, we'd like to speak with you about what happened to you the other day and how we've been treating your condition. We'll try our best to answer any questions that you may have-"

"Where's my dad?" Brittany asked suddenly.

I could tell that they hadn't expected that particular question, although it was a pretty logical thing to ask.

Tina approached the bed. "We haven't contacted your family yet, Brittany. We'll need to run some tests on you so we can make sure that it's safe for you to interact with them."

Brittany tilted her head to the side and looked at me. "Is it safe for you to be here then? How did you even know where to find me?"

Because I was at the mall with you.

"Because I was at the ma-"

I slapped my hand over my still-moving mouth, horrified at what had almost come out of it.

What the fuck are you doing?!

The three of them looked confused, but I was pretty sure none of them were more confused than I was. My lips were tingling like they were about to fall asleep.

"You were at the what?" Brittany asked.

My hand moved of its own free will and my mouth started going again.

"I said I was at the mahmmmmprrrhh!" This time, I slapped both hands over my mouth.

"Santana, are you feeling alright?" Figgins asked.

I nodded frantically, squeezing my palms over my mouth, which was still trying to force the word "mall" out of my body. My whole face was tingling and my hands felt heavier.

Tina, not fully understanding my plight but realizing I needed someone to cover for me, answered Brittany's question.

"I recognized you when you arrived at the facility," she said quickly. "I called Santana and she came as quickly as she could."

"You didn't call my dad, but you called Santana?" Brittany asked the doctors skeptically.

Figgins and Tina looked at each other for a second.

"Yes," Figgins said simply.

"Yes," Tina echoed.

My head shook itself "no."

Hey! Cut that out!

Fortunately, Brittany was still looking at Tina. By the time she turned my way, I'd moved my hands from my mouth to my jaw to stop my head from disagreeing with everyone else.

"It's not that I don't want you here," she said to me. "I just want to make sure my family knows I'm okay."

"The sooner we finish all of our testing, the faster we can get you back home," Figgins said, not actually addressing her concern.

Brittany seemed to buy his response and moved on to her next question. "What about Quinn? She was with me. Is she okay?"

"She's here, too," I blurted out.

If looks could kill, I would've dropped dead and Tina would've been on trial for murder.

"She is?" Brittany sat up straighter and the shaking in her body kicked up just a notch. "Where is she? Can I see her?"

"You'll be able to see her after we do the tests," Tina said evasively, glaring a shiny, sharp dagger right into the middle of my forehead.

"Everything's gonna be okay," I said, I gave her a reassuring squeeze with the arm that was still holding her. Our faces were close together, but I still caught the odd look she gave me and backed off a little.

"Sorry, I'm smothering you," I said dejectedly.

"It's just that… I keep thinking that… my head hurts."

"Brittany, do you remember what happened to you?" Figgins asked.

Brittany's brow furrowed and she closed her eyes. "Quinn was there and so was Rumplestilts- I mean, my coworker. I couldn't breathe and everything went dark… I don't know. My head hurts really badly."

"You'll feel better in a few days, I promise," Tina assured her.

"You and some others were exposed to a toxic chemical at the mall about three days ago," Figgins explained. "Do you remember seeing any 'blue smoke'?"

"Yeah, I remember Quinn breathing it in. And my coworker. It made them sick."

"That smoke is actually made up of tiny spores that affect the brain. In order to stop the spores from causing significant brain damage, we had to put you through a special chemical process. That's why you woke up inside that chamber."

"The process… well, you're going to feel a little different," Tina admitted. "There are some side effects."

"Like what?" Brittany asked.

"Brittany… there's no easy way to say this, but the process will give you some special abilities. Some might even call them 'super powers', but we try not to use terms like that here."

Brittany looked from me to Tina to Figgins. "Is this a practical joke? Am I being Punk'd?"

"Sadly, no. I'm sure you can feel that you're not quite the same as before. Right now there's a lot of energy flowing through you."

"Yeah, but… there's gotta be… it's not… super powers?" Brittany sputtered.

Help her, you jerk!

I licked my lips nervously. "It's true, Brittany. It's all true. You have powers like Kurt and those guys at the mall."

Tina gave me a look that clearly said it was time to come clean and add myself to that list.

It's not time. I need more time.

"Listen, Dr. Fig Newton and Dr. Santana's friend, I appreciate you helping me and everything, but I really, really don't want super powers. So if you could just… I don't know, undo all the stuff you did, that would be great."

"It doesn't work like that, B," I said softly. "You have to keep doing the process. If you don't, those spores will wreck your brain."

Her face fell, breaking my heart in the process. "There's no other way?"

"Not at this time, no," Figgins said.

Brittany was quiet for a long time.

"What kind of super powers?" she asked finally.

Tina adjusted her clipboard. "We're going to run some tests, but I might as well ask you now. Do you feel anything unusual?"

Brittany shifted uncomfortably under my arm. "This headache? Is there anything I can take for it because I feel horrible."

Tina raised an eyebrow. "Can you describe this headache for me? Is it like a normal headache or are you having other issues?"

Brittany rubbed her temples and winced. "My brain is like, throbbing. It's like there's too much stuff going on in my head and I can't turn it off."

"What kind of stuff?"

She paused for a moment. "Everything looks kinda weird. It's like someone's been messing with the color on a TV. When I look around, there are like… these streaks of color everywhere. I just thought I was hopped up on pain killers, but it could be something else."

"Streaks?" Tina was writing furiously on a notepad. "Describe what you're seeing."

"Every time something moves, there's color trailing behind it. The air lights up. Some of the streaks don't go away, they just float up to the ceiling-" She winced again. "I don't know. They just make my head hurt."

Holy crap, what have they done to her?

"Where's the closest one?" Tina asked.

She started pointing at the corners of her nightstand. "They're all over the place. There's one right here, there's one right here, another one here."

"Can you touch one of them for me?"

Brittany paled visibly. "Touch them? I don't think I want to do that."

"Just go ahead and grab it and we'll see what happens."

"What if they're dangerous? They don't look safe."

I don't know what caused me to get angry. Maybe it was the hesitance in Brittany's voice or Tina's reassurance of something she knew nothing about.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, B," I said, squaring my shoulders and daring Tina to say something.

Tina, clearly unimpressed, rolled her eyes. "The lines are just in your head, Brittany. It's probably not going to hurt you if you touch one."

"Probably?" Brittany squeaked.

"Look, Tina," I snapped, "we get it. It's probably fine. But if she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't have to do it."

"If she doesn't follow our instructions, how are we supposed to help her and figure out what's going on?" Tina shot back.

"She will follow your instructions, so how about you wait until she's ready instead of trying to force her to do it?"

"It's okay, Santana. I can do it. I'll just, um…" Brittany lifted her hand and slowly moved it towards the little nightstand. She moved so slowly that she was probably going to have a birthday before she ever touched anything.

I grabbed her hand. "If you're scared, don't do it. Tina will survive."

Tina sighed. "Santana, you're really not helping."

"Sorry, but I'm not gonna let her be your lab rat."

"Let's all just calm down," Figgins said, gripping his clipboard nervously.

Brittany nodded in agreement and scooted over in her bed. "Here, Santana. Sit."

A slight tingling spread across the front of my head and the back of my knees. My right leg swung up like a bicycle's kickstand and my left leg just stopped supporting my body altogether. I fell to the floor, landing hard on my ass and swallowing a pained yelp.

Brittany leaned over the side of the bed and stared down at me. "Santana! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Perfectly fine. Shamefully embarrassed, but fine."

"I meant sit down on the bed," she said.

"I-I knew that," I chuckled stupidly. I scrambled to my feet and sat in the space next to her.

Tina walked to my side of the bed and in the entitled-doctor kind of way, she put her hand on my forehead.

"Why are you acting so weird?" she asked. She lifted my chin slightly and started feeling my glands or nodes or whatever is around your throat that doctors always like to prod at.

I swatted her hands away from my neck. "I'm not acting weird."

Even Figgins wasn't buying that. "You have been acting a little strangely today. You just collapsed without for no apparent reason. Are you dizzy? Sick?"

"I'm fine," I insisted. "I'm perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with me."

I turned to Brittany to plead my case. Her clear blue eyes locked with mine like she was peering into my soul.

"Santana, are you sure you're alright?" she asked.

Yes. I'm fine.

"No," I said confidently. "My body is rebelling against me in interesting and ridiculous ways. Also, you have the most beautiful lips in the history of mouths."

So… that's not the line.

Brittany blushed deeply and fixed her eyes onto the bed sheet. "Um, thanks, San."

I bit my bottom lip hard. It was tingling something fierce.

"Your body is rebelling against you?" Tina asked.

I shook my head. "Nope, not at all."

"You just said that," she protested.

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"It's a figure of speech, Tina," I laughed weakly.

"But you said it," Brittany said.

"Yes, I did," I agreed.

I slapped my hand over my mouth again.

Tina looked between me and Brittany, eyes narrowed. "So you'll admit it to her but not to me, even though I'm standing right here listening?"

I shrugged. "At this point, whatever words make it out of my mouth first are what you're gonna hear."

Figgins' eyes were darting between the three of us. "Santana, will you do me a favor? Leave the room until I call you back in."

"Whatever," I muttered. I didn't know what the goal of this game was, but it couldn't be any worse than making a fool of myself.

As I got up, Figgins moved to the head of the bed and started whispering to Brittany. She listened closely as he spoke, watching me intently as I walked to the door. As soon as I reached it, a tingle shot up my arm. I turned the knob and opened the door.

And immediately slammed it closed in my own face.

My feet moved of their own accord, changing my direction and walking me backwards all the way to the center of the room and stopping there. It felt like they'd gone numb. It was probably one of the scariest moments of my life.

I turned my head, since I couldn't seem to turn my body around. "What. The hell. Just happened."

"Ladies, I believe the McKinley Project has just gained its first mentokinetic member," Figgins beamed.

"Mentokinetic?" I hadn't been so afraid to hear the definition of a word since I had to spell "homogeneous" in a spelling bee at school.

"Mind control," he said simply.

"Mind control?" Brittany shrieked. "I'm not controlling anyone's mind! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Well normally, it would probably require a lot of focus to make someone follow your commands. Right now you have so much energy running through you, it's 'spilling out,' if you will. You would probably only need to vaguely want something for the ability to activate."

"Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," I hissed.

She's controlling your mind she's controlling your mind SHE'S CONTROLLING YOUR FUCKING MIND.

I stumbled backwards and Brittany cringed. "I didn't make you do that, did I?"

"You're asking-" I snorted, which turned into a full-on laughing fit. "You're asking me if you made me trip. Because you can control my mind."

I stumbled backwards again. My head was starting to feel fuzzy and my legs were weak.

"Santana?" Brittany's voice sounded far away, like it was coming out of a tin can.

Now she's going to know. She can make you tell the truth. She's going to find out EVERYTHING, SHE'S GOING TO KNOW-

"BEN!" Tina yelled.

A split second later, the fastest man alive stuck his head in the doorway.

"You rang?" he called.

"Yeah. Catch her."

The last thing I heard before I passed out was Figgins whispering, "Fascinating. Simply fascinating."

---

After I woke up, Himanshu and Figgins took me to the recreation room. McKinley rec rooms weren't super fancy. There were a couple of armchairs, a couch, an entertainment center with an Xbox, and a card table. I was left there for an hour to get my shit together so I wouldn't upset Brittany. It was the longest hour of my life. Brittany was alone in a strange place with strange people and strange powers. I wanted to go to her, but I knew I needed to calm down first.

Fortunately in my absence, Tina was there to tell Brittany everything she needed to know. She told her the basics about McKinley, the parts about researching a cure-all chemical and using it on wounded soldiers. She didn't mention the "odd jobs" they took to pay for things or the fact that they were facing a Goo shortage. She conveniently left out the parts about Artie, Jacob, and Kurt. And when Brittany started asking questions about what exactly had gone down at the mall, Figgins announced that it was suddenly time to do a bunch of tests that couldn't wait another second. I was finally freed from timeout and allowed to rejoin the group. I sat in a chair next to Brittany's as they prepped her for the test.

"The purpose of these tests is so that we'll have some idea of what your abilities are," Tina explained as she helped Brittany put on some weird helmet covered in electrodes. There were more electrodes stuck to her body underneath her clothes with wires running into a machine.

We were sitting in Himanshu's special work area. It was a little crowded in his workspace. One of his giant robots was in pieces on the floor, along with David's boots that needed to be retreaded. Off to the side, in an area roped off with caution tape, was the broken collar from Finntastic's super suit.

They must have taken it from my pocket after I passed out at the mall.

I wanted to ask Himanshu what the deal was with that thing since it had caused us so much trouble, but I couldn't do it in front of Brittany. "Santana" shouldn't have even known what that thing was.

"We're ready to rock and roll," Himanshu announced, typing a few things on his keyboard. He brought up an outline of a human body on his screen.

Tina sat down across from us and smiled. "Okay, Brittany. Do you still feel the energy?"

"Yeah, I can't feel anything else," Brittany said, looking at her shaking hands.

"What I want you to do is focus on that feeling. Don't try to do anything specific with it. Just focus on the energy and let it build as much as you can."

The test was called a Body Scan. It mapped the natural movement of energy in the body of a person who had been Juiced or SNIX'd. The idea was that you could tell the nature of someone's abilities by observing where energy moves. The guys did a Body Scan after each Juicing to make sure everything was normal. I'd done one once. I accidentally melted the electrodes on my hands and ended up smelling like burnt plastic for three days.

Brittany closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Okay. Here we go."

"You got this, B," I whispered, "just relax."

She let her shoulders drop and let her head fall forward. A few seconds later, some fancy science words popped up on the Body Scan screen and the outline of the human body began to turn green in different areas. Brittany started to squirm in her seat.

"Try to sit as still as possible," Tina instructed as she scribbled down the readings from the screen. "Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

Brittany gripped the arms of the chair tightly, trying to stop her already-shaky limbs from squirming. "Everything feels light. It's like everything is made of air. Or like… like I'm air. I don't know, it's making my head hurt again."

The body outline turned green in all the places where energy was building. Her entire body had trails of pale green flowing here and there, but her head and her hands were dark, dark green. Most of the energy was gravitating to Brittany's brain, whether she wanted it there or not.

"Are you still seeing the colors?" Tina asked.

"Yeah, I can still see the colors. Everything's just floating around."

"Ok," she said calmly, giving me a cautious glance. "If you feel up to it and you're completely comfortable, I'd like for you to try to touch one of those streaks."

Brittany nodded and raised her hand. She extended her index finger and gently moved it through the air until it stopped at some object that was invisible to everyone else in the room.

"This one is small," she said quietly, "and it's not very bright. Figgins made it when he left the room and it's faded, but it's still here."

She moved her finger back and forth. To my relief, nothing happened.

Tina smiled. "See? Nothing to worry about."

Brittany returned her smile, opening her palm to touch more of the invisible streak. "It feels cool, San. Can you see it?"

I shook my head.

"I wish you could see it. It's tan with red swirls."

Himanshu rolled his chair over. "Sounds trippy."

Brittany lowered her hand and gestured around him. "Look! You're making more streaks right now. Come here!"

"I am?" Himanshu rolled closer and leaned forward. "What do they look like?"

"They're dark green and black. Reminds me of the Matrix. There's a big one coming from your shoulder."

"That's so cool!" he gushed. "Touch one!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, go for it!"

"Ok. These are warm, I can feel them from here." She moved her hand forward, but before she got anywhere near Himanshu, his shoulder jerked backwards like he'd been punched.

"Ow!" He grabbed his shoulder and leaned back in shock.

Brittany held her hands up in front of her. "I didn't even touch it yet!"

"Well, I feel touched," Himanshu said, rubbing his shoulder.

"I swear I didn't do that on purpose," Brittany claimed, turning to Tina.

"I believe you," Tina chuckled. "Try again, but this time, be more aware of the energy you're putting out."

Brittany put her hands up in front of her and stretched them towards Himanshu.

"I'm touching the ones on your knees," she said shakily. "Don't move."

Himanshu gulped. "Okay."

She closed her hands around what I assume were Himanshu's knee streaks and very, very slowly, his rolly chair started to move away from us.

"Holy crap, holy crap!" He clutched the arm rests for dear life as the chair inched backward.

"Holy crap is right," Tina muttered. Her pen rested limply in her hand. She was too busy watching the sight before her to write.

"You're moving him, Britt," I whispered, awestruck.

"I am." Her voice was shaky, but her hands were the steadiest they'd been since she woke up. "I'm moving him. Holy crap."

"Holy crap," I agreed.

She turned her hands slightly and closed them just a little, like she was gripping the reins of horse. She pulled them toward her and Himanshu's chair started rolling back towards us. She changed the orientation of her hands and the chair drifted to the side a bit.

"Oh! I can turn you if I just… ok, there!"

As she tilted her hands in either direction, the chair changed course. She maneuvered him around a table.

Tina hopped up from her seat. "This is amazing! Figgins has got to see this. I'll be right back!"

She ran out of the room, her lab coat flapping in the wind behind her.

"How do you know what to do?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I don't. It just feels right. I just have to pull-"

"Faster!" Himanshu ordered, finally trusting Brittany's driving enough to let go of the armrests.

"This isn't the fucking Merry-Go-Round," I snapped.

Brittany moved her hands again. The chair picked up speed and changed direction.

"Whee!" Himanshu threw his hands in the air.

Brittany started to laugh, but the sound was cut off by a gasp. Her face twitched and her hands fell to her sides.

"What's wrong, Britt?" I put my hand on her shoulder, but she didn't respond. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes looked glazed. "You okay?"

Himanshu, who was now being driven by no one, whizzed past us.

"Brittany?" he called over his shoulder as he quickly approached a wall. "Um, Brittany? Brittany! Stop the chair! Stop the-"

He slammed into the wall backwards, but no one was really paying much attention.

"Brittany," I turned towards her in my chair and grabbed both of her shoulders lightly, "hey, Brittany!"

Her eyes drifted to mine and closed halfway. She blinked, trying to focus, but couldn't.

"God, that feels good," she murmured.

Well, that was inappropriate.

My eyes widened and I released her shoulders. "It's not me."

Brittany stifled a gasp and closed her eyes completely. "It's not… oh god- it's not you. It's my head. It's… mmmph."

The noises she made weren't exactly sexual. They would've been appropriate for someone eating a delicious meal or getting a massage. Brittany was doing neither of those things and somehow, I just knew she was feeling it that way.

"What about your head?" I asked frantically.

"It's all fuh-" she clamped her lips together and exhaled quickly through her nose. "It's all fuzzy. Oh my god. All of this energy just rushed to my brain and it feels really, really good."

Brittany's hands were sliding aimlessly over her thighs. Himanshu, who had recovered from his accident, hovered nearby. "This is like one of those Herbal Essences commercials."

"Don't look over here!" I yelled.

Brittany's hands slid up to her head. "The energy. It feels different, like it's not mine. It's coming from somewhere else. I don't know where, but I need it- umph… I need it to stop. I can't do anything like this!"

"Just turn the extra energy off, see what happens," Himanshu said.

Brittany stilled momentarily, considering his suggestion. "Just turn it off? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He shrugged. "I'm no doctor, but when a machine is bothering me, I turn it off."

"You're right, you're not a doctor," I pointed out. "Let's wait for real doctors to come in here and tell us what to do."

Brittany hadn't been taught how to power down properly and from what Tina said, she would have too much energy running through her to even try. It seemed like an exercise in futility. Besides, I'd always been taught to power down slowly, not just "turn it off."

"Ok, maybe you shouldn't turn it off," Himanshu said, "but you can try to push it back to wherever it came from."

"I'll give it a shot." Brittany settled into her chair and closed her eyes. "Hold on… just a sec… ok, I just-"

For the first time since she woke up, Brittany stopped shaking. Her eyes closed and she became completely unresponsive. There was a loud bang and someone screamed.

"Brittany!" I dropped to my knees in front of her chair, ripping the stupid electrode helmet off and grabbing her hands. "Brittany, are you okay? Can you hear me? Brittany!"

She didn't respond. Another loud bang and another scream came from behind me and I jerked my head towards the noise. It was coming from the back of the warehouse.

"What the hell is that?" I whispered. "Baby Figgins, go check."

Another bang, another scream.

Himanshu snorted. "Are you crazy? I'm not going back there! You do it! You can defend yourself better than I can."

I stood up quickly. "Watch her. Please."

Himanshu nodded as I ran off towards the back of the warehouse. I rounded a corner and went down the hall where the bedrooms were located. It took me a second to recognize the frightened yelps, but when I realized they were coming from Puck, I ran to his door and kicked it open with my hands charged and ready.

I was not ready for the fuckery that was occurring in that room.

Puck was screaming his head off as his naked, sweaty body repeatedly slammed itself into the wall.

"SANTANA! HELP ME!" He ran back to the center of his room and then sprinted towards the wall again, smashing himself into it at full speed.

"Oh god! Why are you naked?" I screeched, slapping my hands over my eyes.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! NOW HELP ME! I CAN'T STOP!"

"I'm blind! I'm blind!"

"STOP FUCKING AROUND AND HELP ME!"

He ran back to the center of the room again and I jumped between him and the wall to block his path. As he ran toward me, his eyes flashed bright blue like they had at the mall.

His mind. Brittany's controlling him!

He lowered his head and charged at me like a bull.

Uh oh! Fuck this!

I jumped out of the way and let him slam into the wall.

"OW!" He grabbed his head with both hands even as he backed up for another go. "Why would you let me do that?"

"No sense in both of us getting hurt. Besides, I think I know what's wrong with you. I'll be right back!"

I ran back down the hall and back to Himanshu's work area, powering down as I went. Tina had reappeared without Figgins. Himanshu looked at me expectantly, but I ignored him and went straight to Brittany. She was still in her trance-like state, her muscles and joints locked in place. I sat on my haunches, rubbing my hands up and down Brittany's arms, willing her to come out of whatever spell she was under.

"Brittany? You've got to stop. You're hurting Puck. Wherever you are, just come back. Follow the sound of my voice, okay? I'm here. I'll always be right here."

It wasn't working. I stood up and took her face into my hands.

"Come on, baby," I whispered. "Come back to me."

As soon as my lips touched hers, her hands flew up, clutching my wrists tightly. The banging stopped and there was a loud crash. I tried to pull back, but Brittany leaned forward, nipping roughly at my bottom lip. She pulled me forward as she leaned back in her seat and I landed in her lap. Her kisses were rough and forceful. My reaction was instantaneous.

8.

I didn't know what level Brittany was charged to, but the amount of energy flowing through her body must have triggered something in mine. I was way too charged up. Energy flooded my system from the tip of my head to the soles of my feet and everything felt like it was on fire in the best possible way. I could feel it surging through me. The burning in my palms snapped me out of it.

STOP.

I yanked my hands away from Brittany's face and fell out of her lap onto the floor, breathing hard. I closed my eyes and did the slowest, most deliberate power-down I've ever done, counting backwards at the speed of a toddler. When I opened my eyes, Brittany was staring down at me, wide-eyed and still panting.

A few seconds later, Puck stumbled into the room in his boxers and a t-shirt.

"What the fuck just happened?" His voice cracked like a prepubescent boy and he looked confused and upset.

"I have no idea, but it. Was. EPIC." Himanshu grinned. He caught the evil eye I was giving him and wisely shut his mouth.

"I was in my room and the next thing I know, I'm being thrown around like a rag doll!"

I sat up slowly from the floor. "I think I know what happened. I don't really understand why, but I think Brittany was somehow controlling Puck's mind. His eyes were flashing blue. I think that's a good indicator that those spores were at work here."

Brittany, who was still a little dazed, looked horrified. She started pulling electrodes off her body as fast as she could.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried. "I didn't mean to! I just wanted the energy in my brain to stop!"

"The what in your what?" Puck asked.

"Somebody was flooding her brain with some kind of crazy sex energy," I said accusatorily. "She tried to push it back to where it came from and coincidentally, you lost your damn mind."

Puck immediately turned beet red. "Don't look at me. I wasn't having sex. I was just sitting in my room… reading a book."

"Puck, you don't read," Tina said skeptically.

"And why would you get naked just to read a book?" I asked.

Tina smirked. "You were naked?"

"It's not against the law to read naked," Puck said defensively.

Himanshu burst out laughing. "What were you reading, 'The Autobiography of Palmela Handerson'? Admit it, Puck. You were back there whacking your weasel-"

"It's none of your business what I was doing!" He pointed at Brittany. "And you! Stay out of my brain! It's private! You have no right to-"

3.

I was off the ground in seconds, standing in front of Puck. "Who are you yelling at like that?"

Brittany was behind me so she couldn't see my glowing eyes or the murderous expression on my face.

"Hey, calm down, time bomb," Puck said, taking a step back.

Before I could make another move, Tina slid between us and decided to take over.

"How dare you get mad at Brittany about this!" she shouted, poking Puck in the chest. "She doesn't know how to control her energy yet and you have the nerve to give her a hard time about it? You're not even hurt, you big baby. Stop being an asshole and try to help her the way everyone helped you when you started Juicing!"

Puck dropped her gaze and looked down at his feet, embarrassed. Tina must have whispered something else to him because he nodded and walked over to Brittany.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I get it. I've been Juicing so long that I forget how hard it is in the beginning. I still don't know my own strength sometimes and it's been years. Everyone here will help you figure it out." He stuck his hand out. "We haven't been formally introduced. I'm Noah, but you can call me Puck."

Brittany just looked at his hand awkwardly. "Um…"

Puck's face reddened again and he pulled his unwashed hand back. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

"It's nice to meet you, Puck," she said, trying to make the encounter less awkward. "I'm Brittany."

He smiled. "Don't worry. Juicing is hard, but the first one's the worst one. The more you practice your abilities, the easier things will get."

She nodded and returned his smile, but I could tell she was still upset by the whole situation.

Figgins strode in a few seconds later. That man had the uncanny ability to not enter a room until all foolishness had ceased. "Sorry, I had a time-sensitive experiment running. How did our Body Scan go?"

Tina pointed to the body outline on the screen. "Her natural energy flow is pretty much what we expected. About seventy-five percent of the energy goes straight to her brain and the rest flows pretty freely, although I am seeing a high concentration of it in her hands. We'll keep an eye on that."

Tina scanned through her notes quickly. "Outwardly, Brittany's shown some mind control ability, but it seems rather limited since she's only been able to control Santana and Puck's minds so far."

Puck scratched his head. "But what about that whole energy thing? I passed it to her brain and she passed it back to me. What the hell is that all about?"

"I think Santana was right. It might all be connected to the spores. It seems like they give her some sort of 'extra access' to your brain."

"But that doesn't make sense. Santana doesn't have any spores in her head," Brittany said.

Tina's jaw clenched. "Oh, you're right. Santana doesn't have any spores in her head because she was never at the mall. She was at home, knitting a scarf. How could I have forgotten?"

I could tell she didn't like lying for me, especially since it was making her look like a bad scientist.

"What else did you observe during the testing?" Figgins asked, steering the conversation back on track.

"Oh, right. Brittany's shown signs of extremely advanced psychokinetic abilities."

"Psychokinetic? I'm not crazy," Brittany protested.

"Psychokinesis just means that you can manipulate things with your mind. I'm not sure what the extent of your ability is at this point, but we can narrow it down further with more testing."

Brittany's face fell. "More testing?"

"Let's call it a day, Tina," I suggested. "I'm sure this has been the longest day of Brittany's life."

"Of course," Tina agreed. "We can pick it up again tomorrow."

---

As an apology for yelling at and mentally sexing Brittany, Chef Puckerman made dinner for everyone. I don't know what it was supposed to be, but it was swimming in grease and served with a side of undercooked rice and overcooked broccoli. Brittany ate very little because her appetite was shot, so she made polite small talk with Puck, Figgins, and Tina. Himanshu was still glued to his computers. Ben hadn't been seen since morning.

After dinner, Brittany and I retired to David's room. He was still in his hospital bed, hooked up to life support machines, so Figgins told us we could stay there. No one seemed to be particularly worried about him, so I tried not to be, either.

As soon as I hopped into bed, I felt a wave of sleepiness crash over me. It had been a long day and I knew if I was tired, Brittany would be exhausted even if she couldn't sleep. She slid into to the bed and burrowed under the covers, letting out a giant sigh as she settled in behind me. A few seconds later, a shaky hand tentatively made its way to my hip and rested there.

"Do you think we could… I want to cuddle, but I'm too shaky."

"No, you're not." I turned around and slid my arms around her, bringing her as close to me as physically possible. "See? Not too shaky at all."

She hummed in agreement and burrowed her face into my neck. "I'm so tired, but I don't think I can go to sleep."

"I'm sorry, Britt." I hugged her tighter. "I'm sorry that all of this is happening to you. You don't deserve it."

She sighed. "It's not always about what we deserve, you know? Things just happen in life and you have to keep going."

"Well, no one should have to feel Puck's lust," I shuddered in revulsion, "or see his junk, for that matter."

"I hated invading his privacy like that. He was having a private moment with himself and I assaulted him."

"You can't help it. It's not your fault that he mentally broadcasted his hot date with Palmela."

"I just feel bad about it. I don't want to control his mind, or your mind either. Even if I'm not doing it on purpose, it's wrong. I wish I could turn these stupid powers off, but I can't."

"And everyone understands that," I said. "Puck went through the same thing you did. Give it some time and before you know it, you'll probably be driving with no hands."

She laughed bitterly. "Great, I'll still be a freak, but at least I'll be a freak that can control herself."

"You are not a freak," I whispered fervently. "Don't say that about yourself."

I felt her frown against my neck. "It's true. I mean, there's only six other people in the world like me and three of them tried to kidnap me. I was already different enough. Now look at me."

She sniffled and tightened her arms around me. The feeling of tears dripping onto my skin sent the words flying out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying.

"Not six."

Brittany turned her head slightly. "What?"

I hesitated, thinking hard about what I was going to do.

You can take it back and pretend you didn't say anything like a coward or you can put on your big girl panties and be there for Brittany so that she doesn't feel like a lonely freak. Your choice.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard before I spoke again.

"Not six,'" I repeated.

Brittany slowly lifted her head from my neck. She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at me. "I counted six."

My heart was going a million miles an hour and my mouth was suddenly drier than it had ever been. I had to close my eyes because from that close, it looked like her piercing blue eyes could see right through me.

"The three guys here," she said, thinking aloud. "The three guys from the mall. Six."

Somehow, she got even closer and I could feel her breath on the side of my face as she spoke. "Are there more people, San?"

"I… um… I mean... we, uh…"

The momentary burst of courage/stupidity had passed and now I was sitting there at the beginning of a confession with none of the will to complete it. I looked up so that I was staring right into her eyes. They flashed bright blue, but not her natural shade. This was Wes's creepy blue light. The back of my head started to tingle.

"Brittany, don't," I warned. I closed my eyes and shook my head, but it didn't do anything to stop the tingling.

She gasped and put some space between us. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't even know I was doing it."

"It's okay. I just… I want to tell you this on my own."

"Tell me what?"

"There's… there's someone else."

Brittany looked stricken and I feared the worst until I realized what I just said.

"No, no, not like that!" I corrected. "I mean there's another person with special abilities like you."

Her face lit up. "There is? I mean, it's just one person, but still. Who is it?"

The tingling in my head intensified and I could feel my lips becoming numb. Brittany really wanted to know and it looked like I was going to confess whether I wanted to or not.

"It's me."

I choked it out so violently, she probably thought I was coughing. It probably didn't even sound like words, but by the look on her face and the way her mouth opened slightly, I knew she'd understood.

She blinked. Blinked. Blinked.

"You?" She leaned over me, carefully examining my face as if all the answers would be written there. "…you?"

I nodded, biting my lip and waiting for her reaction.

"That's why you're here?" she asked.

"Yeah. The guys that were tearing up the mall? Those were the same ones who kidnapped me."

"I know," she said. "The gay man in the purple suit."

"Right. Well, those guys have some beef with the people here and to make a long story short, I fell into some green goop and now I have special abilities like you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for the sky to fall on my head.

"Santana, why wouldn't you tell me that?" She didn't sound angry. She sounded confused and surprised, but not angry. I was afraid to open my eyes and verify that her expression matched her tone.

"At first, I was just afraid that you would be creeped out. Then things got a little… complicated."

"How?"

I sighed. "Brittany, promise me you won't be upset."

"Why? What did you do?" she asked, eyeing me warily.

I hesitated, but there was no more time left. It was the end of the road.

"I'm… I'm Rumplestiltskin," I said, staring straight into her eyes.

The confusion on her face was apparent for all of three seconds before her expression turned into something completely unreadable.

"No you're not," she said flatly. She pulled herself into a sitting position with her back against the headboard, shaking her head. "You're not Rumplestiltskin. You can't be."

I stared up at her from the pillow, but she didn't look at me. She stared at the wall across the room. I let myself charge up a little, just enough so that my eyes would glow.

3.

The light shining out of my eyes got her attention and she looked down at me. She locked eyes with me, staring straight into the white-hot brightness. After a moment of silence, she frowned deeply and looked back at the wall.

"Brittany-"

She shook her head. "Don't."

"Please, just let me explain," I begged.

Her blank expression broke and was replaced with one of barely contained anger.

"Explain what?" she fumed. "That you've been lying to me this whole time?"

"It hasn't really been that long when you think about it," I said because I'm a moron.

Her nostrils flared and she narrowed her eyes at me.

Yeah, because that's a valid point.

Her eyes flickered to my forehead like she was staring at the thoughts in my brain. She let her head fall back against the headboard and gazed up at the ceiling.

"I'm such an idiot," she mumbled under her breath.

"You're not an idiot," I said quickly.

"Really? I wasn't smart enough to figure out what was going on, so that would make me an idiot."

"That's not true." I sighed and sat up next to her. "It's been what, ten days since the mugging? Only one person managed to figure it out in that time."

"Well, Mercedes is way smarter than I am."

"She doesn't... I… I haven't told her yet," I stammered.

Brittany seemed completely shocked at my admission and I could practically see her opinion of me plummeting off of a cliff.

"Mercedes doesn't even know? What were you gonna do, take it to your grave?" she asked in disbelief.

"I couldn't tell anyone. I just… I-"

"You could've told me. You just didn't want to." The disappointment in her tone was killing me, but at the same time, it was pissing me off. She made it sound so simple when it had felt like the most impossible thing in the world.

"What the hell was I supposed to say?" I snapped defensively. "'Yo B, I've got crazy dangerous powers and I could accidentally kill you. FYI, Finntastic is a liar and I saved you from the muggers. Also, you know that masked loser you hate? It's actually me in a hoody.'"

She didn't even crack a smile. "Yes, that's exactly what you should've said. I get that you didn't want anyone to know about your powers, but you should have told me about the mugging. I've had so many nightmares about that night and after we ran that 'Menace' article, I started having nightmares about 'Rumplestiltskin,' too. Don't you think it would've been nice to know that the person I was so afraid of was actually you in disguise? Don't you think I would've been way less mean to you when we worked together? I was giving myself an ulcer worrying about whether or not you would turn on us! I was up all night trying to figure out what your real intentions were. And this whole time it was you. Jesus, San. All of this anxiety I've been going through was for nothing. And you knew that the whole time."

I felt like the world's biggest ass.

"I didn't think about that," I said quietly.

"Yeah, you didn't," she snapped.

"Things have been so out of control lately. I was trying to protect you from all the craziness. I never would've dragged you into this whole thing with the cops if Shelby hadn't insisted on it."

"So why didn't you tell me after we started working together?"

"I was afraid," I said honestly. "I thought you were going to freak out and run away."

Brittany's face fell and her eyes dropped to her lap.

"You really think I would do that?" she asked almost inaudibly.

I sighed. "Even without all of this super power stuff, I always feel like you're two seconds away from running in the opposite direction. I have so many strikes against me already just by being a girl. I didn't want to give you another reason to push me away. Telling you that I was Rumplestiltskin, that I had super powers… I thought it would be too much."

A single tear ran down Brittany's cheek.

I reached out to touch the hand that was resting on her thigh, but she moved it out of my reach.

"Brittany-"

"I wouldn't have run away from you because you accidentally got super powers. I would've wanted to be there for you."

"I-"

"And I wouldn't have run away from you because you saved me. I would've thanked you.

"Don't cry, Britt."

"I know I have issues with us and with my family, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have tried to be a good friend to you. You were going through a hard time and you needed someone, but you couldn't open up to me because all you're ever going to remember are the times when I pushed you away."

She wiped her face with the back of her hand and shook her head.

"I don't know how to make you trust me," she whispered.

I tried to wrap my arms around her, but she held her hands up. I grabbed both of them in mine and clasped them together in front of me.

"I'm so sorry for lying to you, Brittany. I was scared. I should have told you the truth."

It occurred to me that there was still another gigantic secret I hadn't revealed. If I didn't tell the truth about it now, it was going to be a thousand times worse when she found out.

"Britt… there's something else."

---

The only sound that filled Quinn's room was the quiet beeping of the life support machines. Brittany sat in a chair next to Quinn's bed. In the entire half hour that we'd been in the room, she hadn't said a word. When she finally spoke, her voice was flat and tired, as lifeless as the girl in the bed next to her.

"Why didn't they do the same thing to her that they did to me?" she asked. "Why didn't they help her?"

Explaining to Brittany why her friend was basically dead was the last thing I wanted to do.

"By the time you got here, it was too late. The procedure is too dangerous to try right now. They're working on finding another way to help her."

"What if they don't find another way? Will she stay like this forever?"

My silence wasn't the answer she was looking for.

She stood up suddenly, turning her back to me and directing her words at Quinn so that she wouldn't have to look at me. "I want to go home. I want to leave and take Quinn with me. Today."

I walked closer to the bed. "You can't do that, Britt."

"Why not?" she demanded. "They can't keep me here against my will."

"I know, but you can't just go home and pretend like everything's normal. Your body has to get used to Juicing. You have to learn how to power down. Figgins and Tina are doing everything they can to help Quinn. There's no hospital in the world that's going to be able to treat her. You can't leave."

"I can't just stay here without telling my family that I'm okay and that Quinn's-" her face crumpled, "-that Quinn's gonna be okay soon. If I can't leave, they have to come here."

"I don't know if that's possible."

"You need to go home, too. Don't you care that Mercedes is at home worried sick about you?"

I felt guilty because I'd been so worried about Brittany that I hadn't even realized that once again, I'd dropped off the face of the earth.

"Of course I care, but nothing good can come from getting our families involved in this. Just give it a few days and-"

"Santana, I can't be missing!" she blurted out. She sat back down in her chair, looking almost as surprised by her outburst as I was. She took a deep breath and let it out, slumping wearily against the back of her chair before speaking again. "My… my mom went missing."

It was the last thing I expected her to say and I had no idea how to react. Brittany never talked about her birth mom. She reached out, holding Quinn's limp hand in both of hers, but she was shaking so hard that she had to let Quinn's hand go.

"They found her car in Dayton, all burned out. They never found her." She patted Quinn's arm softly. "My family is fragile, Santana. When things get hard, they fall apart so fast. I can't do this to them. I can't let them think we're missing or dead when we're not. We've been gone too long already."

That's why Brittany got so involved when you disappeared. That's why Mo talked about you on his radio show.

She let out that bitter laugh again, the one that sounded so foreign coming from her mouth. "There I go again, telling you everything."

I walked over and knelt next to her chair. I grabbed her hands and brought them to my lips. The shaking subsided slightly.

"You can tell me anything," I said and before she could protest, I added, "and I'll tell you anything. Everything. The truth."

She sniffled and looked away from my pleading gaze. "Get up, Santana."

"Brittany, please. I wanna make this right."

"Get off your knees, Santana," she ordered. "Seriously. Don't do that."

"I just want you to know that I'm serious about this," I said.

Brittany stood and pushed her chair away with her foot. A tingle spread through my lower body as Brittany mentally forced me to my feet. For some reason, she felt taller when we were standing face to face than she had when I was on the floor.

She gripped my chin lightly, making sure she had my full attention. "I don't need you to beg me for forgiveness. I'm not that person. You apologized. I get it. So don't do that."

I was a little confused by her reaction at first, but it started to make sense. Brittany was probably used to apologizing for things just to keep the peace, even when things weren't her fault. It seemed like she was making it a point to not treat me that way, even though I felt I deserved it. It made me feel even worse.

Brittany seemed to be deep in thought, stroking my chin absently with her thumb. "So where do we go from here? How are you going to be here for me when we don't trust each other?"

"Britt, I trust you," I insisted.

"Not enough to tell me the truth." I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up her finger. "You can say that you trust me, but you don't act like it. And I can't honestly say that I trust you right now, either."

I nodded. "I get that. Really, I do. That's not gonna change the fact that I care and that I don't want to see you hurting. I want to be a good friend to you, the way you would've been to me if I had been smart enough to let you. I can be that, even if it means, we're not… what we were. Even if I'm just a friend who knows you have super powers."

"Friends are people that I trust."

Ouch.

It hurt and I deserved it.

"Then demote me from 'friend' to 'bartender.' Vent to me when you need to, if that's what you want. I just want to help."

A pained expression crossed her face. "You were never just 'the bartender' to me, San. Even when I met you, I always felt like I could trust you. Like it was okay to tell you things that I couldn't tell Tommy or Quinn or Rachel. You make it sound like it could've been anyone, but it couldn't have been Mike or Sunshine or Aphasia. It was you. It was always you."

She pressed her lips together as if she was physically restraining herself from continuing. My stomach was tied up in knots and I felt sick. I'd disappointed Brittany so badly and I didn't know what to do.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Brittany. If I could go back in time, I would've told you right after the mugging. I can't change things now, but I want to fix what I've broken. Your trust. If you'll let me."

"What do you want me to say?" she huffed. "I feel like I don't even know you right now. The girl I trusted more than anything and some guy I didn't trust at all are the same person. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"I don't know," I admitted.

"I don't even have room in my head to think about this. It feels like my mind is racing every second of the day. I don't have room in my head for even one more thought, so everything just feels really overwhelming. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't stop shaking."

The frustration and aggravation were written clearly across her face. I didn't have any idea how Juicing was for a first timer. From what I was seeing, it put a lot of stress on the mind as well as the body.

"So I really do need a friend right now," she said, "because this way too much to handle."

My head snapped up and I suppressed the urge to grin like an idiot. She watched my face carefully before continuing.

"We can work on trust. We will work on trust. But I swear, if you ever lie to me again, Santana-"

"Never," I promised. "Never again. I swear. I know that means nothing to you right now, but I swear on Mr. Ziggles."

Excited that I was getting a chance at redemption, I tilted my head up to kiss her. She turned away at the last minute and my lips landed on her cheek instead.

Denied!

Slightly Embarrassed by the rejection but undeterred, I gave her the most heartfelt cheek kiss that I could.

"I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back," I whispered. "Whatever it takes. I promise."

When I pulled away, she looked a little dazed. Her face was flushed and she was gripping her chair with both hands. The palms of my hands started to tingle slightly, but Brittany gritted her teeth and closed her eyes momentarily and the tingling stopped.

"I'm gonna talk to Figgins about your family tomorrow. I'm sure there's something he can do," I announced, standing up straight. "Did you want to… I mean, are you coming back to bed?"

She shook her head and turned her chair towards Quinn, breathing deeply through her nose. "No, I think I'm gonna just stay in here tonight. I can't sleep anyway. Too wired."

I returned to David's room alone and fell into bed. Part of me felt relieved, like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders because now there no more secrets between us. The other part of me was scared to death.

What if Brittany never trusts me again? What if she resents me for all of this?

The tingling in my palms returned and I sat up in bed, unsure of what to do. It was obvious Brittany wanted me to do something, but I had no idea what. The feeling ebbed and flowed throughout the night and I focused on it, thinking of anything that Brittany could need from me. I got my answer shortly before dawn when my arms reached out and encircled the air in front of me in a tight hug.

---

Things were awkward the next morning at breakfast.

Brittany and I were the first ones at the table. We sat in strained silence while Baby Figgins made breakfast, whistling while he worked.

"How are you today?" I asked nervously.

Brittany gave me one of those deep, soul-inspecting stares before saying, "Fine."

Bullshit. She spent the night in a chair next to her comatose best friend's bed. "Fine" probably isn't the right word.

"You can tell me if you're not, you know."

"I know," she said simply.

And that was the end of that. I could tell that getting Brittany to open up to me again was going to be a challenge.

People started filing in to the kitchen one by one. I'd made sure to tell them after my talk with Figgins that Brittany knew about me and all of the skeletons in my closet. When they greeted Brittany and were met with barely concealed annoyance, it became clear that Brittany was not happy with the people who had been complicit in my lies.

Brittany barely said two words to anyone who tried to engage her in conversation. She just sat there, looking down at her empty plate and picking at her nails until Himanshu started putting food on the table. Since her appetite wasn't back yet, she just grabbed a few pieces of toast, put them on her plate, and watched them exist for a while. I made a point of touching her when I could (brushing our hands when she quietly asked me to pass the butter, letting my fingertips graze her I got up to get more juice), just small touches to remind her that I was there and I was ready whenever she needed me. She flinched the first time our skin made contact, but after that, there was no outward reaction.

The McKinleys kept the conversation flowing in an effort to lessen the tangible awkwardness, but there's only so much small talk you can make when you've all been together in the same building for days. What interesting topics could have possibly come up?

So Puck, left hand or right?

Figgins was the worst type of morning person, the kind of person that whistles and asks you how you slept. He was sitting across from Brittany with a full plate of food and smiling chipperly.

"How are you feeling this morning, Brittany?"

"I'd feel a lot better if I could eat," she replied, looking longingly at the bacon and eggs on his plate.

"You'll be eating properly again before you know it," Figgins assured her. "I was hoping that some of today's testing would help you work up an appetite, but it looks like that will have to be postponed."

"Postponed? Why?" Brittany asked.

"I had an interesting conversation with Santana this morning and if I call in a few favors, you'll be able to see your family tomorrow."

Brittany's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Seriously? But I thought you said-"

"I know we said you'd have to finish the testing first, but as Santana pointed out to me, your more… dangerous abilities seems to only affect her and Puck and moving objects with your psychokinetic abilities seems to be something that requires a lot of concentration and effort on your part. A visit with your family should be harmless enough."

Brittany smiled wider than I'd ever seen, but Figgins stuck his finger up.

"Now, I can't permanently release you on good conscience. I just wouldn't feel right about it. You'll still have to go through the full range of tests and have some training, and once you are released, you'll still need to visit us weekly for Juicing. However, I can arrange for your family to visit you regularly while you're here."

"Awesome, I can't wait to see them." She caught my eye momentarily and her smile faltered a little.

"You'll also be able to start training today," Tina said, stirring dried fruit into her hot oatmeal. "David will be joining us in an hour or so and he'll be serving as your mentor."

"You Juiced David, too?" Himanshu asked incredulously. "Woman, are you for real?"

Puck pointed his fork at Himanshu menacingly. "You watch your tone, Baby Figgins."

Himanshu scooted his chair away from Puck. "Who made this decision?"

"We voted last night," Tina said.

"Why wasn't I consulted?" he demanded.

"We already knew you were going to say no. You lost four to one."

Himanshu crossed his arm defiantly. "Fine, but for the record, I would like to state that I'm totally against these wasteful uses of our limited resources."

Tina rolled her eyes. "It's not wasteful, Brittany needs to be trained and we all agreed that David would be the best match for her skill set. Also, don't ention-may the ortage-shay in front of the uest-gay."

"Wait, who's gay?" Puck asked with a mouthful of half-chewed food.

"What are we going to do at the end of the week?" Himanshu said, continuing his rant. We've got two barrels of Goo left. Two. They'll go to Brittany and Puck to keep the spores from destroying their brains, but then what?"

Figgins stroked his hairless chin in thought. "I believe we had at least two barrels left at McKinley 9 that might be salvageable."

"If you want to go to the bottom of the ocean to maybe find a barrel of Goo in a submarine, feel free." Himanshu stood up from the table and pushed his chair in noisily. "If you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to."

"World of Warcraft's not business!" Puck yelled after him as he stormed out of the room. I took the opportunity to snatch a piece of his abandoned bacon.

"What's his problem?" I asked, popping the piece of fried pork into my mouth.

"Baby Figgins likes to act like a Doomsday prophet and tell us things that we already know," Tina huffed. "Frankly, I'm getting a little bit annoyed."

"I hope all of this trouble isn't because of me," Brittany said.

Tina waved her away. "Oh no, no, don't think that. We've been having this problem for almost two months now. It has nothing to do with you."

Brittany didn't look convinced. I decided to take this as an opportunity to be helpful even though we weren't quite on the best terms.

"Don't worry about this. Just focus on feeling better and getting your abilities under control. That's all you have to worry about now."

Brittany's eyes met mine.

I spoke quietly so that only she could hear me. "It's okay, Brittany. You can trust these guys. They'll handle it."

The corners of her mouth turned down ever so slightly and I knew I probably shouldn't have used the word "trust."

"I'm going to get ready for training," she said, standing up from the table. When she picked her plate up to take it to the sink, her knife and fork slid around wildly.

"You need to do something about that," Puck whispered to me.

"About what?"

"Do you not see it? That girl is a ten on the Richter Scale."

He stopped talking as Brittany passed him on her way back from the sink.

"I'll be in David's room," she said, pushing her chair in.

Figgins looked at his watch. "Oh dear. I have some phone calls to make if we're going to be having that family visit. Tina, would you mind giving me a hand today?"

"Sure."

The doctors took their plates to the sink and left the room. Puck waved innocently at their backs and as soon as they were gone, he leaned in a little closer.

"To make up for yesterday, I'm gonna be a good lesbro and let you in on a little secret that no one else around here is going to tell you."

"And that secret is…"

"It's the secret of how to stop all that freaking shaking."

"What are you talking about? It's supposed to go away eventually… right?"

"It'll go away after like, her fifth Juicing and I'm sure she's gonna shake her head loose before then. What she needs now is some… you know." He wiggled his eyebrows and elbowed me in the side.

"Some what? Creepy gestures?" I guessed.

He gave me a pitying look. "I'm talking about sex, braniac."

Luckily, I didn't have any food in my mouth because I would have choked on it.

"Sex?"

He laughed. "Yeah, sex. Ever heard of it?"

"What is this, some kind of practical joke?" I started to get up from the table, but he pulled me back down by the arm.

"Sex is no joke," he said sternly. "I'm dead serious. If you two do the deed, it'll burn off enough energy for her to be normal for a few hours."

"Sure, of course it will," I scoffed. "You're so full of shit, Puck. You're probably just suggesting it so you can find a way to perv on us or something."

Puck put his hand to his chest, clutching his invisible pearls. "Hey! Noah Puckerman is no pervert! Maybe a little freaky, but definitely not a perv. I swear, it's the truth. Scout's Honor."

I waited for him to laugh or give some indication that he was joking. Instead, he raised one of his eyebrows at me and propped his feet up on the table. "If you don't believe me, you can ask anybody around here. They're not going to ever bring it up, but if you ask, they won't deny it."

"Like it matters. Even if it's true, it's not like Brittany and I even-" I stopped myself, realizing I was offering up way too much information.

An enormous grin spread across Puck's face. "Are you telling me that you've been back home for weeks and you haven't hit that yet?"

"That's none of your business," I growled.

"I guess that means you didn't get your little 'problem' under control."

"My problem? What problem?" I asked suspiciously.

He held his hands up and wiggled his fingers at me.

"You know," he whispered. "Premature hand lasers."

My jaw dropped and my eyes popped out of my head.

"Tina told you?!" I shrieked. My face was burning uncontrollably and I thanked my lucky stars that ethnic people don't blush. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life.

"Don't worry," he said, slapping me on the back. "It happens to everyone."

"It doesn't happen to anyone!" I shouted.

"Yeah, I know, but I thought it might make you feel better if I said that."

I covered my face with my hands, wishing I could crawl into a hole and die.

"Oh stop it," Puck said, pushing my shoulder. "It's just me. Nobody else knows. Well, except Figgins."

"Figgins?!"

"Yeah, Tina wanted to see if he could figure out a way to help you. Don't worry, he'll never say anything to you about it. He's super into manners and being appropriate and all that jazz." He burped obnoxiously and scratched his exposed stomach. "Anyway, my advice is still good. Brittany just needs to blow off some steam, so if you can't help her out, she can always do it herself."

It took me a second to understand what he meant. You could've fried an egg on my face, it was so hot.

"That's what that whole incident yesterday was about," he explained. "Tina was busy and I still get the shakes every now and then, so I took matters into my own hands."

"You can stop that story right there," I said.

He shrugged. "Ain't no shame in my game. I'm telling you, it works. Take my advice and pass it on down to your lady."

"Me? Why do I have to tell her?"

He looked at me like I was stupid. "She doesn't even know me. If I tell, it's gonna sound creepy."

"I do know you and it sounds creepy. I am not telling her about this." I stood up from the table and poked him in the arm. "We never had this conversation."

He slid his feet off the table and leaned back in his chair. "Suit yourself, but don't say I never tried to help you."

---

David Martinez was an attractive man. Even I could see that. He was even better looking when he was conscious, wearing his half-buttoned flannel and his fashionably ripped jeans like a goddamn Abercrombie greeter.

It was stupid to be jealous of the way Brittany looked at him, at the way she listened attentively to him as he explained things to her, at the way she returned his infectious smiles and let him platonically touch her arm as they sat next to each other on the couch in the rec room. It was stupid and it was also embarrassing because every irrationally jealous emotion was clearly written on my face. I wasn't jealous because I thought she wanted him. Like a petulant child, I just wanted her to pay attention to me instead of regarding me with the kind of sad silence I'd been getting all day. I sat in a chair on the other side of the coffee table from them, brooding.

David took Brittany through the mental process of charging up and powering down. She could only power down for a few seconds at the most since her body had so much excess energy flowing through it. Even that small feat was taking a lot out of her.

"I suck at this." Brittany complained.

David smiled kindly at her and I wanted to poke his eyes out. "You're doing fine, Brittany. Once your body gets accustomed to Juicing, you won't have to try so hard. Let's try to work with your psychic abilities see if we can't make some progress there."

"Maybe you guys should take a break," I suggested. "I remember how tiring this stuff can be."

"I'm fine, Santana," she said dismissively.

"You sure?" David asked. "We can stop whenever you want."

"It's okay, I'm good. We can keep going."

David reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. It was a deck of cards.

"We're going to start off easy," he said, setting the box down. "Try lifting this box off the table."

Without hesitation, Brittany reached forward until her hand hovered about a foot above the box. She closed her fist around something I couldn't see and raised her arm. The box came up off the table like she was pulling it by a string.

"Easy?" David asked.

"Easy," Brittany agreed.

"Good. Now try it again, but this time, without using your hands."

Brittany pulled her hand back slowly. "Is that even possible?"

"Why not? If the streaks aren't physical things, it would make sense that you could interact with them without touching them."

Her eyes drifted to me, then back to the cards. I took the glance as encouragement. Any attention was encouragement at this point.

Can you be a little less pathetic?

"You can do it, Britt," I said. "You moved Himanshu's shoulder yesterday, remember?"

"That was an accident," she replied, not making eye contact.

I shrugged. "You still did it. If you can do that by accident, imagine what you can do on purpose."

She chewed that over a minute before sitting up straighter and pulling her shoulders back. She narrowed her eyes and focused on the box. When nothing happened, she leaned forward. The box didn't move.

"Don't focus so much on moving it," David instructed. "Try to pretend that it's already moving."

She squinted hard and gripped the edge of the coffee table. "I don't think it's doing anything."

"Concentrate," I said.

"I can't concentrate when you're telling me to concentrate."

"Sorry."

Brittany placed her hands flat on the coffee table and pressed her weight onto it.

"Come on," she muttered. "Move, you dumb box."

One of the boxes corners slowly rose a whole centimeter off of the table.

"Oh look!" I said excitedly, scooting my armchair closer to the table.

The corner wavered. David put his finger to his lips and shushed me.

Brittany sighed. "Santana, I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Sorry, won't happen again." I mimed zipping my mouth shut and throwing away the key.

Brittany leaned harder against the table. A second corner of the box lifted.

"Alright, two corners!" I whispered. "You can do this, you're so close, just don't lose focus."

"Santana-"

The corner of my chair flew off the ground and the whole thing pitched backwards. I waved my arms wildly to regain my balance, but gravity took over. The chair flipped over and I fell, still seated, on my back. My head hit the ground with a thud. Brittany ran around the table and rushed to my side.

"Santana!"

I groaned and rolled onto my side, rubbing the back of my head. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ok, I get it. I'll shut up."

"I didn't do that on purpose, I swear," she said. "I was trying to focus, but you kept talking. I was going to tell you to be quiet, so I looked up and I saw the corner of your chair and my brain just like, zeroed in on it and I swear I didn't mean to knock you over!"

She moved my hand away from the back of my head and replaced it with hers, running her fingers through my hair and brushing my scalp with her fingertips. I took her shaking hand and pulled it to my mouth, kissing the knuckles softly.

"Told you you could do it," I grinned.

She rolled her eyes at me. "I know what you're doing."

"What?"

"You're trying to be super supportive and encouraging and all that stuff. Stop it."

"Why?"

"Because I need to focus and you're distracting me."

"I just want to be-"

"-there for me, yeah, I know. But I think you're overdoing it a little."

"Well, excuse me for trying to be helpful," I grumbled, picking myself up off the floor. "I'm gonna go. Clearly, I'm just getting in the way."

She stood up and grabbed my shoulder. "Santana, don't be like that."

"Be like what? I'm not being like anything." I sounded whiny in my head and I hated it. "David can do a much better job helping you. He's not annoying you and you don't hate talking to him, so it sounds like it's a match made in heaven."

David started to get up from the couch. "Should I give you guys some privacy or…?"

"Just give us a second." Brittany grabbed my arm and started pulling me across the room.

"We don't even need a second. I'm leaving," I called to David as Brittany dragged me behind her. "Problem solved."

Brittany walked us all the way into the hall and closed the rec room door. She lowered her voice and held onto my arm. "Look, I know things have been weird today, but you're not really helping by acting like a baby."

"I think I'm at least acting like a toddler at this point."

She ignored my bad joke. "I see that you're trying to fix this. I do, but it just feels like you're being really… I don't know, aggressive about it?"

That threw me. "Aggressive?"

"You just told me all of this stuff last night, Santana. You can't just drop something like that on me and then turn around and expect things to be normal the next day." She squeezed my arm gently. "Let me process it. Let me be upset about it. Let me figure out what it means."

She had a point. It had barely been twelve hours. Things weren't going to improve in that short amount of time. She let go of my arm and opened the door, signaling the end of that conversation. "I'm going to finish up with David. You probably have something else you could be doing, right? You don't have to hang around and watch this boring stuff."

She might as well have shouted "Stop hovering! You're suffocating me!"

I could see David was watching us from the couch, biting his lip in thought. He had that look on his face, the one that people get when they want the key to your Dungeon of Feelings. The peacemaker in him, the ever-meddling wannabe-shrink in his soul wasn't going to let it go. Luckily, I wasn't sticking around, but I knew he was going to try to get all up in Brittany's business.

"Sure," I said. "I'll just go hang out with Puck. I'll catch up with you later."

Brittany closed the door behind her and because I'm a terrible person, I turned into the next room, shutting the door softly behind me. The room was pitch black except for the tiny red and green lights on some machine in the middle of the floor. My body was charged up and my ear was up against the wall before you could say "eavesdropper."

"Are you ready to start again or do you need a minute?" David asked.

"I need a minute." Brittany flopped down on the couch, causing the ancient springs to creak nosily. They continued to creak as her body shook the couch.

"Looks like you need a few minutes," David observed.

She sighed. "I think I need a month."

David chuckled. "Take all the time you need. This kind of adjustment can take a long time and it goes more smoothly when you're in the right frame of mind," David explained.

"I don't think I'm ever going to be in the right frame of mind, not about this," she said, sounding defeated.

"It takes some getting used to, especially when you didn't choose this for yourself."

"I think that's worst part of the whole thing," Brittany confessed. "I feel like all of these big decisions were made while I was unconscious and now I just have to deal."

"Sounds like you could use somebody to talk to about that. I'm always here if you need a listening ear." He paused. "I know you don't know me, so you might not feel comfortable sharing, but have you tried talking to Santana about this? You both had similar experiences."

"I can't talk to Santana," she said quickly.

"Oh? Tina told me that you and Santana were friends."

"We are. Were. I don't know. It's just hard to talk to her right now."

"Uh-oh, what has she done now?" David laughed. I had to give it to him. Instead of just awkwardly asking what I did, he turned into a joke that was more likely to get a response. He was good at this.

"She hasn't been very honest with me about a lot of things." She let the statement linger in the air before continuing, as if she wasn't sure how much she wanted to say. "She's been keeping some pretty big secrets. So now that it's out in the open, I'm just trying to figure out how I feel. It's all just too much right now. I'm trying to deal with a million different things, but every time she looks at me, all I can think about is how she lied to me and how mad I should be."

"You're not mad?" David asked.

"Oh, I'm mad," Brittany corrected. "What she did was really selfish and I get upset just thinking about it. I just… I could be madder. I should be madder. I don't know why I'm not."

There was a long pause before David replied. "You're hurt."

"Very," Brittany whispered.

The amount of emotion in that single word made my heart ache.

You hurt her. She's hurting because of you.

She hadn't told me that, but I should have known. It was such a simple, obvious thing and I hadn't realized it. She wasn't putting up her walls because she was mad. She was hurt and she was protecting herself from getting hurt again.

She was protecting herself from me.

"I thought Santana was different," she went on. "A lot of people lie to me or go behind my back 'for my own good.' I never would've expected that from her. I've always been honest with her, so this just… hurts. It hurts a lot."

"I'm sure it does," David agreed.

"She didn't trust me enough to tell me all of these things about her, but now she expects me to just forget about all of that and trust her enough to talk about what's going on with me right now and I can't. I don't even want to. I don't want to open myself up like that again because I don't want to feel like this ever again."

The couch squeaked as she sat back again. "So no. I haven't talked to Santana about waking up and suddenly having super powers. Sorry, I didn't mean to tell you my life story."

"It's okay. I have that effect on people." I could practically see him doing his winky face through the solid wall between us. I had a feeling that Brittany wasn't just suddenly comfortable enough with David the Complete Stranger to be sharing all of these private feelings. He had to be doing something magical to her to make her open up.

"Maybe you should tell Santana what you just told me," he suggested. "She'll understand."

Brittany sighed. "Being around her is difficult right now. She's so eager to fix everything and I just want to sort all of this other stuff out before I even think about that."

"That's exactly why she needs to know. I think she'll calm down if she knows what's going on in your head."

"I can't. She starts making those sad puppy eyes and I just start feeling bad for her. Then I get mad at myself for being a wimp."

Sad puppy eyes? I don't have sad puppy eyes. That's so not sexy.

"Why don't you practice on me?" David offered.

What is he up to?

Brittany laughed. "Don't you think that's kinda weird? I literally just met you an hour ago."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked.

Brittany paused. "No. Not really. I can usually tell when someone's a creeper and I don't get creeper vibes from you at all."

"I'm glad. Let's give this a shot, shall we?"

"Ok, should I just…" she trailed off, sounding as confused as I was.

"How about this? Close your eyes-"

"Now, I'm getting creeper vibes."

"I swear I'm not creepy," he insisted. "Just close your eyes and say what you feel. Pretend I'm Santana."

Brittany didn't respond and I could only hope she was side-eyeing him as hard as I was.

"Okaaaaaaaaay…"

It was silent for a few seconds.

"Um… Santana. God, this is weird. Santana, I feel hurt."

"Why do you feel hurt, Brittany?" David asked.

"I feel hurt because you didn't trust me enough to be honest," she said in a rush.

She paused and took a few deep breaths.

"And…," David prompted.

"I'm hurt because even when I have a hard time being honest with myself, I always try to be honest with you. I don't know, maybe it's not fair to ask you to be open with me if I can't be open about…"

She trailed off, but somehow I knew the end of that sentence was the word "us." She couldn't bring herself to say it in front of David. She abandoned the sentence and moved on.

"This is gonna take time," Brittany said steadily, "and I can see that you're trying really hard to be my cheerleader, but it's driving me nuts. Every single thing you say to me doesn't have to be a Band-aid for this, okay?"

"But… but I just want to help. I want us to fix things."

I nearly fell over as the sound of my own voice came through the wall.

Davetana!

Brittany gasped audibly.

"What in the world?" she whispered. "Are you… how did you… what?"

"Don't worry, I just look like her," David explained. "This is practice, remember? I'm gonna give you the sad puppy eyes and you're going to be strong. Okay?"

"What the hell does he think he's doing?" I hissed.

"Who the fuck is in here?" someone demanded sleepily.

The lights in the room suddenly came on. I spun around on my heel and for the first time I realized that I was in a bedroom and I wasn't alone. From his shocked expression, I could tell the person on the bed was clearly not expecting visitors.

He was wearing a light undershirt and the sheets were draped haphazardly around his waist. His face was a mottled mess of brown putty, a random assortment of scarcely distinguishable features protruding from a deeply scarred face. One of his arms was a patchwork quilt of skin and the other was shiny and smooth like glass.

I didn't even recognize him until his shock wore off and that familiar look of annoyance graced what was left of his features.

"Ben?" I whispered.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" His voice was raspy and strained, probably from sleep and disuse, but my mind had already warped it into the results of a horrible accident, a leftover gift from a roadside bomb.

"I- I was just- the door was unlocked-" I stammered.

His barely perceptible brow furrowed and his mouth turned down in a scowl.

"Get. Out."

I quickly turned and fled, almost tripping over the machine in the middle of the room (which appeared to be a giant humidifier) on my way out. I slammed the door shut behind me, and like an idiot, I ran back into the rec room.

Suddenly, the situation at hand came back to the forefront.

Davetana was standing by the couch, facing Brittany. The fashionably ripped jeans, which had fit David's larger waist perfectly, were slung low on my slim hips and because David was an underwearless heathen, my hip bones were sticking out above his belt. To top it off, his open flannel shirt was exposing copious sideboob for Brittany and the entire world to see. My sideboob.

Brittany, bless her soul, was staring at David with her mouth hanging open. David was trying to give her "sad puppy eyes," but he was only succeeding in making me look constipated. It didn't really matter because Brittany wasn't looking anywhere near his face.

"I… I…"

"What do you say next?" Davetana asked.

"I… I can't speak."

"Probably not the most effective argument."

"What's going on in here?" I called from the doorway, announcing my presence.

Davetana looked over at me and grinned, which was beyond unnerving. Brittany hopped away from him like she'd been caught doing something naughty. I strolled over to them and plopped myself down on the couch.

"You know, David, you can't just take my body for a spin whenever the mood strikes you. I'm not a rental car."

"I just wanted to show Brittany how my abilities work, that's all," he lied.

I was glad that he was covering for her instead of spilling the beans and telling me that she needed to practice telling me her feelings. Part of me was glad that even if she didn't feel like she could talk to me, she at least had David. She was already clearly embarrassed. All the embarrassment in the world couldn't stop her eyes from bouncing quickly back and forth between the two of us.

I gestured to all of the chest that David was exposing. "Well, now that the demonstration's over, can you cover up my breasts? Just a smidge? 'Preciate it."

---

The next day was incredibly busy. The plan to see Brittany's family and Mercedes was complicated to say the least.

As I suspected, none of the McKinley people wanted anyone coming to the warehouse. Luckily, Figgins had some connections at Ohio State University's hospital, so he got us Brittany, Quinn, and I "admitted" as "patients." He was able to get a room for the three of us and have the records show us being admitted early in the day. He'd briefly considered using his connections at Lima General Hospital, but Brittany shot down that plan. Tommy worked there and the risk of him showing up and ripping holes in our story was too great.

One of Himanshu's spare transformers was also a helicopter, so Figgins got us cleared to land on the hospital's roof. Five of us entered the building without any interference from real hospital employees. We'd practiced the scenario over and over the night before until everyone had the story down pact. Once we entered our room, David opened his duffle bag and started throwing everyone their costumes.

Tina and Himanshu would be wearing scrubs and lab coats. The rest of us would be wearing standard issue hospital gowns.

"Ok, Santana," Tina said, straightening her clothing. "Where are you?"

"We're in Columbus at OSU's hospital," I answered.

"And how long have you been here, Brittany?"

Brittany pulled her hospital gown over her head and began to shimmy out of her jeans. "We just woke up here today, but we've been gone for five days."

She looked up and caught me staring. I averted my eyes and focused on getting myself dressed.

"Dr. Prime, what do the test results show for these patients?"

Himanshu was wearing a pair of red scrubs with Optimus Prime's head embroidered on the pocket. "There seems to be a destructive chemical in their systems. We'll need to keep them here for observation and visitation will be limited to certain hours of the day until we can figure out what's going on."

"Good, good." Tina clapped her hands together. "Now, you three take your places. David, do your thing."

As we'd planned, Brittany and David sat in the beds on one side of the room and I sat in a bed on the other. As soon as David was situated, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Oddly enough, the first thing to change was his butt chin. The small indentation filled out and seconds later, his whole head started to shrink. His face became less angular and his cheeks plumped up. His stubble retracted into his skin.

"This is kinda gross," Brittany said aloud.

David's skin and hair lightened at the same time. His short spiky 'do grew longer and longer until it reached the base of his neck. His lips filled out and breasts exploded from his chest like airbags under his hospital gown.

"That part always hurts a little," he complained.

I'd never seen David transform before. I had only seen the end result. It was a little bit more than "kinda gross."

David, now the spitting image of Quinn Fabray, turned to Brittany nervously. "Do I look okay? Did I get it right?"

She stared at him for a moment, quietly observing a living, conscious replica of her best friend. She swallowed hard and nodded. "Perfect."

Tina checked her phone. "Alright, ladies. Figgins called your families this morning, so they should be here any minute now."

"I thought you were gonna make the calls," I said. "Did you give Figgins my instructions?"

"I didn't have time, I was rushing this morning. I just gave him the phone numbers you gave me and told him to call."

"Great," I muttered.

I had given Tina two phone numbers: one for Mercedes and one for my mother's house. I'd also instructed her not to talk to anyone at my mother's house except Natalie. The mere thought of having my mother inflicted upon me while I was confined to a hospital bed made me nauseous.

"Remember, you're going to need to act like you don't remember anything about the last few days," Tina instructed. "Maybe you remember going to bed the night before, but that's it."

A half hour later when the room's phone rang, Tina answered it.

"I'll be back," she said after hanging up. "I have to go pick up the visitors from the nurses' station. Himanshu, keep your eyes open and let us know if we need to make a quick exit."

She left the room and disappeared into the hall. The new Lucy Q. lay back on the bed and closed his eyes.

"Are you going to be able to pull this off?" I asked curiously.

"I'm used to being unconscious for long periods of time." He covered himself with the bed sheets. His breathing evened out almost instantly and he got eerily still. Himanshu rushed forward and started hooking David up to nearby machines. When he stepped back, David looked exactly like the real Quinn did back at McKinley. Brittany looked away and quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Brittany." The words were out of my mouth and it was too late to call them back.

She looked at me expectantly.

She doesn't want to hear any of your feel-good BS. She needs time.

"Are you ready?" I asked stupidly.

She nodded. "As ready as I'm going to get."

When I heard Tina's voice and the sound of high heels click-clacking in the hallway, I took a deep breath and tried to steel myself for what was coming through the door.

I guess Mommy Dearest got here fast.

My two seconds of preparation were all in vain because when Judy Fabray walked in the door, the air in my lungs evaporated.

"Brittany," she gasped, rushing into the room. She hurried towards Brittany's bed, but midway, she caught sight of "Quinn." She stopped abruptly, staring at Quinn's unconscious body as her shoulders began to shake. Brittany climbed out of the bed on quivering legs and wrapped Judy up in a hug.

"Brittany," Judy cried, sobbing freely in Brittany's arms. "Oh my babies! What happened to my babies?"

Brittany squeezed Judy tighter, looking like she was about to start crying, too. "We're okay. Everything's gonna be alright."

I felt like I was intruding on a private moment, but there wasn't really anywhere for me to go.

Frannie and Mojo walked in next. The girls must have come straight from school because they were both wearing their backpacks. Frannie was wearing her cheerleading uniform, but Mojo looked quite different than she had the last time I saw her. She was wearing a ratty t-shirt and tattered jeans. Her hair was an uncombed hot mess sticking out from under a large rastacap. Her backpack was covered in band stickers and buttons. It appeared that she was no longer a member of the Cult of the High Pony.

She was dragging a dazed-looking Mo behind her. Tina pulled up the rear.

Frannie was the only one who looked my way. She saw me and gave me a small wave, which I returned. She turned back to her family and put a tentative hand on her mother's back. To Frannie's surprise, Judy swept her up into the big hug, blindly reaching out and pulling Mojo in, too. Mo hung back as his eyes trailed over all of the machines that Quinn was hooked up to. When Judy finally released the girls from the group hug, Brittany and Mojo went to Mo to comfort him. As he scooped Brittany up, he started to cry loudly.

Really, really loudly.

"My baby girl!" he wailed. "I was so worried! I looked everywhere for you, all over the mall, every rest stop-"

"Daddy, shhhh," Brittany whispered soothingly. "Don't, it's okay. I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm here. I was gone and now I'm back."

"You're back," he blubbered. "You're back. You're back. You're back."

He just kept saying it over and over. Mojo buried her face into his shirt and started crying, too. I watched the Pierces as they shared their moment. I knew they all had to be thinking of Brittany's mother, who unlike Brittany, was gone and had never made it back. The Fabrays stood to the side in a similar embrace, each of them holding on to part of Quinn, who was gone and still hadn't made it back.

Mo started to tilt as he wept, leaning so heavily forward that they all staggered a bit under his weight. When he let them go, Brittany whispered something to Mojo and Mojo paused before nodding in response. Brittany sighed and her lips pressed together in a thin line.

Meanwhile, Judy seemed to be speaking softly to her daughter, holding her hand and stroking her hair. Frannie's gaze was focused on Quinn's feet. It looked like she was having a hard time seeing her older sister in that state. For the next fifteen minutes or so, pairs of the Pierce-Fabray clan moved from Brittany to Quinn and back in various combinations, rarely acknowledging each other verbally except when they spoke to Brittany.

At one point, Judy ushered Brittany back to her bed.

"Here sit down, you shouldn't be standing!" she chided.

Brittany got back into her bed and Judy proceeded to take her temperature by feeling Brittany's forehead with the back of her hand, despite the fact that we were currently sitting in one of the best hospitals in the nation.

"How are you feeling, dear?" she asked. "Tired? Groggy? Nauseous?"

Brittany hesitated, glancing at Tina for guidance. Tina, who was standing on my side of the room, shrugged her shoulders.

"My shoulders hurt," Brittany blurted out, mistaking Tina's gesture for a helpful hint.

"Your shoulders?" Judy asked.

Tina shook her head and discreetly waved her hand, using nonverbal communication to indicate that she was, in fact, not trying to communicate nonverbally.

Brittany gave her a confused look. "…and I have the shakes?"

Judy frowned. "I noticed."

Tina furrowed her brow, not wanting to move so that Brittany wouldn't say anything else.

"And I need my eyebrows waxed," Brittany guessed.

Tina slapped her hand over her eyebrows in horror and I put my face in my hands to stop myself from laughing.

Judy felt Brittany's forehead again. "Eyebrows? What on earth are you talking about, dear? Are you medicated?" She snapped her fingers rudely to summon Tina. "Dr. Puckerman!"

I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough at that name.

"Yes?" Tina answered.

"Can you tell us what's going on? Brittany seems to be disoriented. Whatever medication you've got her on, I want her off of it immediately. Also, get her something for these tremors. A mild sedative should do the trick."

"We haven't prescribed her anything yet, Mrs. Pierce-" Tina began.

Everyone cringed.

"Fabray," Judy quickly corrected. "It's Fabray."

"Oh! Sorry about that. Mrs… Ms… um, ma'am. Perhaps I should bring you up to speed on what's happened since this morning. Your daughter… daughters and several others were found in an abandoned building and were brought to the hospital this morning. The Columbus police were able to help us positively ID them as the two women who went missing from the Lima mall two days ago. Once we were sure, we contacted you."

"What's wrong with them, doctor?" Judy asked. She was more than a little bit frantic. "The police aren't even sure what was going on at that mall. They found blood, but they don't even know what happened or who was involved. They can't tell us anything!"

"We haven't been given any information about that event, either. What we can tell you is that your daughters have been exposed to a very harmful chemical. We're still determining the makeup of this chemical and its impacts, but so far the tests have been inconclusive. It appears they were injected with it during the time that they were away. We'll be keeping all of the patients here for observation until we can determine the effects and the correct treatments."

Judy visibly paled. "Who would do this kind of thing to innocent girls? They were only at the mall to report on a story!"

"It's impossible for us to know that kind of thing, ma'am," Tina said. "That's up to the police to determine. We're just here to treat the injuries and help your daughters heal."

Mo leaned forward, almost knocking Mojo over in the process. "We appreciate everything you're doing, doctor. You heal our babies up and we'll worry about finding the fuckers who did this."

"Morris, please clean up your language," Judy said tightly. "You're in a hospital, for goodness sake."

"It's not 'St. Judith Fabray's Hospital,' so I think I'm allowed to say 'fuck.'" He rolled his eyes in annoyance and they kept rolling. And rolling. And rolling.

Even without the profanity, Mo's voice was too loud for a hospital room. Mojo whispered something to him and tried to get him to shift his weight so that he wasn't smothering her. Judy looked at him with a glazed, blank expression before shaking her head and turning back to Tina.

"When can we expect Quinnie to wake up?" she asked.

"Right now, we can't really be sure. She's suffering from some slight swelling in the brain, most likely caused by blunt force trauma. If it gets any worse, she'll need surgery." Tina went into some other doctor stuff that I only vaguely understood, but I think that was the point. Making it sound complicated would cover up the fact that it was a lie. I had to give it to Tina, though. She was a smooth liar. The Pierces and Fabrays were none the wiser.

"So Brittany's okay, then?" Mojo asked.

"We're running some tests to determine that," Tina said. "We'll be keeping her here until we know definitively."

"And the same thing that's wrong with Brittany is wrong with her?" Frannie asked, pointing at me.

For the first time, the other Pierces and Fabray noticed my presence. Judy's expression hardened at the sight of me, but Mo was overjoyed.

"Santana!" he shouted. He let go of Mojo and stumbled across the room to my bed, throwing his arms around me. "When did you get here?"

He wrapped me up in a bear hug and it took everything in me not to gag. He reeked of alcohol and sweat. The smell was so strong that the bartender in me could almost taste whiskey at the back of my throat.

Brittany started to get out of bed to retrieve her father, but Judy grabbed her arm and held her back. Mojo was behind him in a flash.

"Daddy," she hissed. "Let go!"

He didn't and I just kind of sat there, letting him hug me. I liked Mo and normally I wouldn't mind. It was just that he smelled like the people I would find in the Ladies Night bathroom at the end of the night.

As long as he doesn't vomit or pee, I think I can manage.

"Frannie told me you were missing again and I just couldn't-" He burst into tears again, squeezing the life out of me.

"I'm alright, Mr. Pierce," I said, awkwardly patting his sweaty back.

"I told you, call me Mo!" he wailed into my hair.

Judy stormed across the room and grabbed Mo's shoulder, yanking him backwards. "Morris, stop it! Just stop it! Get a hold of yourself!"

Mojo stepped between them and glared at her. "Back off, Judy. I got him. Chill the hell out."

Frannie gave Mojo a warning look. Mojo crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, almost daring Frannie to say something. I realized that Mojo and Frannie hadn't even spoken to each other since they'd arrived. Brittany was still in bed, looking devastated.

She wasn't joking. They really are falling apart.

Tina cleared her throat, attempting to dispel the tension that had traveled over to my side of the room.

"Ms. Lopez woke up just as you arrived," she said. "Other patients have regained consciousness as well. We're running blood tests on all of them to determine what other chemicals they may have been exposed to."

Other patients didn't exist.

"Do you remember what happened?" Judy waited for my response with a hopeful expression, addressing me directly for the first time since she found out I was a lesbian.

"Um… not really," I said weakly. "I don't remember anything from that day. I don't remember anything after going to bed the night before."

She nodded stiffly. "Well, if you think of anything, make sure to tell the doctors and the police right away."

"I will," I lied.

The phone rang and Tina promptly answered it.

"I'm going to make another trip to the nurses's station," she said. "I'll be right back."

Frannie and Mojo were still sizing each other up while Mo swayed unsteadily in the background. The three of them were making me more uncomfortable than Judy was. Brittany slid out of bed and walked over, looping her arm around Mo's waist and dragging him back to her side of the room.

"Why don't you all just have a seat?" She managed to get Mo into a chair, but the rest of them stood in silence.

Tina came back a few minutes later with Mercedes and Sam in tow. I was wrapped up in Mercedes's arms before I knew what was happening. She didn't say anything. She just squeezed me as hard as she could for as long as she could.

"Hey there," I whispered into her ear.

She pulled back, blinking away tears. "I'm gonna need you to stop disappearing on me."

"I'm sorry. I'm not doing it on purpose, I swear."

Sam, who was standing behind her, rolled his eyes and shook his head. I gave him a dirty look over Mercedes's shoulder. I knew he was concocting crazy scenarios in his head where I ran off with the "Power Rangers," did something reckless, and got everyone hurt. But he was wrong. I was just trying to stop Kurt and his band of merry men from doing God-Knows-What at the mall. I hadn't exactly planned any of it.

"Trouty," I said in greeting.

"Hey, Santana." He smiled tightly in response.

Mercedes rested her head on my shoulder. "You gotta stop scaring everybody like this, okay? I don't think my heart can take it."

"Won't happen again," I promised.

"It better not. I might have to put you on house arrest pretty soon."

Himanshu's voice rang out in the hall. "Excuse me, ma'am, but you can't go in there!

To my surprise, Natalie barged into the room with Himanshu hot on her heels, scowling and gripping the phone in her hand like she was trying to crush it.

"I can go anywhere I want to go," she snapped. "Now if you don't back off, I'm going to stuff your fun-sized body into a bedpan."

"It's okay, doctor," I called across the room. "She's my sister."

"I can see the resemblance," Himanshu grumbled under his breath as he returned to the hall.

Like Frannie, Natalie was also wearing her cheerleading uniform and backpack. Her expression changed from anger to shock when she saw me sitting in the hospital bed. Frannie walked over and gave her a hug, which she generously accepted. They whispered something to each other before letting go. Frannie returned to her family and Natalie walked around to the other side of my bed, giving Mojo a pointed glare and adjusting her high ponytail as she walked.

Do I even want to know what that's about? Probably not.

"I didn't know you were going to be awake," Nat said as she reached the side of my bed. "Mercedes said you were supposed to be in a coma or something." She was trying to sound tough and unaffected, but the drying tear tracks on her face were giving her away.

"I woke up right before you guys got here," I said.

"How many times can one person disappear into thin air?" she wondered.

"Hopefully, two is the limit."

"You'll have to teach me how you do it," she muttered, not-so-subtly sneaking a peek across the room to look at Mojo. "I could use a vacation."

Mercedes frowned at the joke. It was in pretty bad taste, but I could tell that Natalie was just putting on a brave face.

"A magician never reveals her secrets," I replied. Mercedes and Sam both frowned at that, but the corner of Nat's mouth quirked up in a tiny smile. We've always had the same messed up sense of humor. It was one of the few things we had in common besides some facial features, an affinity for snark, and the fact that we came from the same demented womb.

Across the room, Judy was standing by Quinn's bed, hammering Tina with questions that she answered with ease and lies. Frannie stood by her mother, rubbing her back and listening to Tina's answers. Mo was sitting by Brittany's bed, still heavily leaning on Mojo even while seated. Every once in a while he'd get too loud or animated and Brittany or Mojo would shush him.

It was stupid to feel jealous of the fact that Brittany and Quinn's parents were there, especially when her dad was clearly wasted, but I was.

"How do you feel?" Mercedes asked, pressing the back of her hand to my forehead.

"I feel okay," I said. "My head feels like it's stuffed with marshmallows, but I could get used to that."

She lowered her voice and leaned closer. "Did anybody… hurt you?"

I knew what she was asking. When I came home from McKinley and told her my made-up version of what happened while I was gone, she'd asked outright if I'd been sexually assaulted. Mercedes worried about me like it was her job and she knew I had a tendency to let my emotional wounds fester before I ever told her about them.

"No, nobody did anything like that," I assured her.

Her relief was almost tangible. She smiled at me and rubbed my forearm.

"Praise God," she whispered.

Sam folded his arms over his chest, still frowning at me. "How would you even know that, though? Weren't you unconscious until just now?"

Mercedes's smile slowly faded and I saw about fifty emotions flicker across her face as her mind went to the worst possible places. Her eyes left my face and started scanning my body for injuries she couldn't possibly hope to detect.

I've never wanted to punch Sam so badly in my life.

"I asked the doctor," I said quickly, trying to undo the damage of Sam's words. "They examined everyone. No one was hurt like that."

"I just think it's kind of weird that you've gone missing twice and you haven't really come back injured," Sam said. "You must get kidnapped by the nicest people in the world."

I knew what he was trying to do. Sam knew that I hadn't been sexually assaulted. So he was insisting that I probably would have been sexually assaulted if I'd really been kidnapped in order to expose me as a liar. Unfortunately, he was so focused on poking holes in my story that he didn't realize what seeds he was planting in Mercedes head.

"I mean, who kidnaps someone and just lets them chill out on their couch the whole time? They had to have done something, right? Otherwise, what was the point?"

Jesus! Drop it already!

My jaw clenched and I used all the will power in my body not to appear outwardly angry. "I guess I'm just blessed."

Playing the religion card would set Mercedes's mind at ease, but at the same time, it would confirm for Sam that I was lying.

But Mercedes wasn't listening anymore. She was just staring at my knees with her brow furrowed, chewing on her bottom lip.

Tina waltzed over to the end of my bed, probably relieved to escape the barrage of questions that Judy had thrown at her.

"Sorry, that took longer than I thought. Do you all have any questions for me?" She smiled brightly at me and patted my ankle.

She's never this nice when I'm actually hurt!

Mercedes snapped out of her trance and went into caretaker mode, asking all of the questions Judy had asked and a billion more that I never would've thought to ask. She didn't go anywhere near the sexual assault question, but I knew it was because Sam had introduced too much doubt in her head and she probably didn't want to confirm her fears.

We spent a few hours with the most important people in our lives before our time ran out. Figgins could only get us the room for a certain amount of time.

"Alright, folks," Tina announced. "Visiting hours in this wing are almost over. I'll have to escort you out in the next thirty minutes or so."

"I guess you should tell Mom not to come," I said to Natalie.

Apparently, that was exactly the wrong thing to say.

Nat's eyes narrowed and she bared her teeth in a snarl. "She's tied up at the country club, couldn't make it. She told me to send her best."

"Oh."

Heat and embarrassment washed over my face and I suddenly felt really, really stupid.

You really thought she would come see you? After 23 years on this earth, you haven't learned your lesson yet, have you? How many times does she have to disappoint you before you stop caring?

It was silly of me to think that she would show up. My mom needed an audience, a microphone, and a podium at a minimum to make an appearance. Her inability to care stung like it always did, but I didn't react outwardly. Mercedes put her hand on my knee.

"That's all you can say? 'Oh'?" Nat fumed.

I shrugged. "What do you want me to say, Nat? That woman hasn't seen me in two years. I guess I can't say I'm surprised."

Everyone knew that my relationship with my mother was defined by our lack of meaningful interaction and consisted of her pretending to care about me while I pretended not to care about her. I had learned at a young age not to outwardly express my disappointment because I knew it made my abuela feel bad.

It seemed Natalie was taking serious issue with my mother's indifference. It was different for her, though. She and my mom had always lived together. She probably had some positive experiences to balance out the negative.

"She didn't even know that you were missing again," Natalie spat. She was madder than I'd ever seen her. "I didn't even know until the hospital called! Who doesn't come see their own daughter in the fucking hospital?"

"Mercedes, why don't you guys go say goodbye to Brittany?" I suggested. Mercedes nodded, realizing that I needed to handle some family business, and led Sam across the room.

"Look, Nat. Having expectations for that woman is only going to lead to disappointment," I said bluntly. "You need to let that go."

"Santana, it's not fair. She shouldn't be allowed to not care about us- about you like that. She's a mother and that's not what a mother should do." Nat's face scrunched up and I could tell that she was holding back some angry tears.

I couldn't even begin to pretend that I knew the intimate inner workings of Natalie's relationship with either of her parents. I held out my arms to her and she just stood there looking confused.

"Come here," I commanded. "I want to give you a hug."

She stepped into my hug without being rude or awkward about it. She didn't squeeze me or cling to me. She just held me, just letting the hug happen. I wondered how many people hugged Natalie regularly. It appeared that Frannie did, and Mojo might have when they weren't beefing. My mom and her dad weren't the touchy feely types, so even if her friends hugged her, her family sure as hell wasn't doing it.

"I'm really glad you came to see me, Nat," I whispered. "I really want to see you more often."

"You do?" She sounded pretty surprised that I would say something like that. To be honest, I was a little surprised, too. After giving it a second of thought, I realized that it was true and that I wasn't just saying it because she was sad.

"Yeah. I mean, you're my sister. You're the only sibling I have."

"Half-sibling," she corrected.

"Still. You're the only blood relative that I claim. That has to count for something, right?"

She released me and stepped back. "I guess so. I'm probably going to be grounded when I get back, though. My dad's going to kill me when he finds out I took his car all the way to Columbus."

"Jesus, Nat. Tell you what," I said, "I'll give you a call when I get back into town and if your dad hasn't shipped you off to a nunnery, we'll take it from there, okay?"

"Sure, just don't die first." She pointed over at Frannie. "I'm gonna say goodbye."

Frannie met Nat in the middle of the room and they walked over by the empty bed to talk. Sam and Mo were sitting in chairs by the window. Mercedes was standing by Brittany's bed, holding her hand and talking quietly to her.

Did you know that eavesdropping was addictive?

"I didn't want to bust up your family moment," Mercedes said quietly to Brittany. "I'll be back tomorrow and hopefully, we'll have some time to chat."

"I'm looking forward to that," Brittany said smiling for the first time since we left the warehouse.

"I'm so glad you're alright. I was going out of my mind when they started showing all that stuff on the news about the mall." She averted her gaze. "I'm so sorry I didn't call you back when you texted me about that guy in the suit. I called Santana to make sure she wasn't at the mall, but she wasn't picking up and I-"

Brittany shushed her. "It's okay, Mercedes. You did the right thing. It would make sense for you to check on Santana since that guy was around."

"Yeah, but-"

"The police still don't even know what happened, so I don't think there was much you could've done."

Mercedes sighed. "I've been at the police station everyday trying to get someone to listen to me. It's like the first time Santana disappeared all over again. Everybody in the mall said the same thing about the guy in the purple suit and I told them that he was the same one who kidnapped Santana, but I just get ignored. It's like they don't even want to catch that guy."

"The cops aren't going to help," Brittany said. "If we want something done right, we're gonna have to do it ourselves."

Mercedes eyes widened. "Girl, I think it's time for your medication."

Brittany shook her head. " No, seriously. We can't just sit around and wait, Mercedes. You can't tell anyone that I remember this, but… that guy in the suit? He was there to take Quinn. He just took me because I tried to pretend I was her. And now he took Santana for the second time."

Mercedes bit her lip anxiously. "What can we do besides get ourselves killed?"

"I don't know, but we can't do nothing. He's gonna try it again, Mercedes. I don't know how I know that, but I do. I can't let him take Quinn and we can't let him take Santana."

Mercedes looked in my direction and I dropped my eyes to my bed sheet, pretending to play with it.

"We can't," she agreed. "I can't do this again."

Brittany nodded. "Good, neither can I. When I get back home, we'll come up with something."

Himanshu walked into the room, shrinking away from Natalie as he passed her. "Sorry, everyone, but visiting hours are over for today. We'll need to sign everyone out at the nurses station."

Mercedes hugged Brittany and gave her a kiss on the cheek before coming back over to my side of the room. "I'm coming back tomorrow."

I waved her off. "You have to go to work. You don't have time to drive all the way back up here from Lima."

She ignored me. "I'm coming back here tomorrow. If you're not here when I get here, so help me God-"

"I'm not going anywhere," I said quickly. "I promise."

She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. "You already promised me that once."

She stepped to the side to gather her belongings. Sam took her place and quickly embraced me. I knew what was coming before he even opened his cavernous mouth.

"I'm not gonna let you drag Mercedes into this," he whispered. "I won't let her end up like Quinn because of you. This is the last time I'm going to let you lie to her."

"Quinn didn't end up like that because of me," I murmured, watching Mercedes.

"Really? Because everyone's been talking about a guy in a purple suit and the only guy I know that wears a purple suit is that guy who tried to kill us in that parking lot. That guy was after you."

"Right, and when he saw me the other day, he didn't give a rat's ass about me," I said. "He was there for Quinn and Finntastic. If I hadn't shown up, Quinn and Brittany would both be dead or missing right now."

"So you do remember what happened then." I felt him smirk against my ear as if he'd "caught" me.

"Yeah, I remember. You seem to be the one with memory problems around here because you've completely forgotten that the whole purse snatcher thing was your fault, Dudley Do-Right, and that I followed you to save your ass."

We were so close together that I could feel the heat on his face.

"You want me out of Mercedes' life? Do what you gotta do," I spat. Literally. I literally projected saliva into his ear. "But remember this: that guy in the purple suit? He's very, very real. Oh and guess what? He's got super powers now. How the hell do you expect to protect Mercedes when you can't even take care of yourself? You got hit on the head and you had to go to the hospital. If I were you, I would want someone like me around, because if you run headfirst into another trap like you did last time, you're fucked."

I released him and he stepped back, clearly not pleased with what I said, but unable to argue further.

After another goodbye hug from Nat and a wave to the Fabrays and Pierces, the room started to clear out. Out of nowhere, Himanshu grabbed Mojo's backpack.

"Excuse me?" She grabbed his hand and removed it, glaring at him.

Himanshu pulled his hand back, looking embarrassed. "Sorry, didn't mean to grab you. I just saw that button on your bag and I was wondering where you got it."

"Which one?" There were no less than one million patches, buttons, and stickers on that bag.

"This one here." He pointed and from where I was sitting, I had no idea which one he was talking about.

Mojo looked Himanshu up and down suspiciously. "Why do you want to know?"

He smiled brightly. "I'm what you would call an 'enthusiast.'"

"An enthusiast of what?" she smirked, looking down at the button and back at him.

He opened his lab coat and pointed at the picture of Optimus Prime on his scrubs. "Transformers, of course. Nothing else."

After a long pause, she finally answered him. "I got it from a friend of mine."

Without another word, she turned and followed her family out into the hall.

"What the hell was that about?" Tina asked.

He shook his head. "Not here. I'll tell you later. Let's wait until they're on the road and then we'll start packing it in."

Thirty minutes later, we were back in our helicopter, on our way home. David had returned to us and was sitting across from me, rubbing his pecs tenderly. Brittany was seated to my left. I could tell by her expression that the family visit hadn't met her expectations.

"Are you okay?" I asked as quietly and privately as I could on a helicopter with other people around.

"Not really," she answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

Before I could respond, Tina rudely leaned around me to talk to Baby Figgins.

"Ok, Himanshu. What's the deal with that button?"

He practically jumped out of his seat in excitement. The seatbelts held him tight as he gestured wildly. "You didn't see it? It was Cannabis Prime!"

"Cannabis Prime on a button? Where the heck would she have gotten that?" Tina asked, shocked.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"That picture," Himanshu explained, "is the Autobot symbol from Transformers, but here," he pointed to the middle of his forehead, "there's a marijuana leaf."

He beamed at us like an idiot, as if that one sentence should have explained everything.

"And you're excited about that because..." Brittany prompted.

"I drew that picture," he said proudly. "It was for a very specific person and very specific purpose, but that's definitely my art."

I was able to picture the image pretty easily in my head and I realized it was because I'd seen it before. I couldn't remember where or why, but I could see it pretty clearly.

"So how did Mojo get it?" I asked.

"That's what I don't… wait, Mojo? That's her name?"

"It's a nickname," Brittany clarified.

"What kind of nickname is that?" he laughed.

"What kind of nickname is Baby Figgins?" she shot back.

He smile withered and he lowered his head. "The kind that will never, ever die no matter how much you beg and plead."

I tapped my fingers impatiently on my armrest. "Can you finish telling me why we care about Cannabis Prime?"

"We should all care because I think the answer to our Goo shortage is finding out where 'Mojo' really got that button."

"She said her friend gave it to her," Brittany said. "The end."

"Yeah, because teenagers always tell the truth," he scoffed.

"My sister is not a liar," she said defensively. "She got it from some high schooler who probably just printed it off the internet or something. It can't be so rare that no one's ever seen it."

"It's not rare. Even I've seen that symbol before," I chimed in.

Himanshu opened his mouth and out of the corner of my eye, I saw both Tina and David give their heads the tiniest of shakes. His pressed his lips into a tight line.

"Yeah," he said. "I bet you have."

Since I can only take so much weirdness at one time and we were currently being medevac'd in a self-piloting Transformer/helicopter from the hospital where we would be pretending to be patients until Brittany finished performing tests to evaluate her superpowers, I decided not to ask what that meant.

---

Brittany didn't say a word to me all evening.

Remembering what she said earlier about wanting me to stop trying to fix everything, I kept my mouth shut. She excused herself from the table in the middle of dinner, which was just as well since she wasn't eating, but when I returned to David's room later, she wasn't there.

David had offered to bunk with Baby Figgins and let Brittany and I stay in his room until we went home. I settled into bed with one of his books, using all the willpower in my body to not track her down. Around eleven o'clock, I gave up the fight and went to look for her. It didn't take me long. She was in Quinn's room, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a deck of cards scattered in front of her. I watched her carefully from the hallway. She held a card in each quaking hand, making them stand straight up and down on the ground. A third card hovered in the air and slowly came down to form a roof over the other two, but once it touched the other shaking cards, it lost its balance and fell to the ground.

"Crap," Brittany hissed.

I stepped into the doorway. "Britt?"

Her shoulders tensed at the sound of my voice and she looked up. "Hey, Santana."

I shuffled awkwardly as I entered the room and approached her. "What are you up to?"

"I wanted to see Quinn and I thought I'd practice using my… whatever." She gestured to the cards on the floor.

"Can I help?" I usually felt at least a little bit timid around Brittany, even though it didn't always show, but now that her feelings about me were up in the air, my timidity was reaching new heights. I didn't feel sure about anything anymore.

She thought it over for a moment. "Only if you promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Promise you won't ask me about how I'm feeling or about anything that happened today."

"Why? Is there something-"

"No, Santana," she said firmly. "That's the deal. I don't want to talk about it."

I could tell by her tone that she was serious.

"Ok, I won't ask," I agreed reluctantly. I sat down across from her on the floor, mirroring her position. "So what are we trying to do here exactly?"

"I'm building a house of cards, but I'm trying not to use my hands very much." She picked up two cards again, ready to use them as walls for the first part of the structure. "It's not going so great."

"That sounds pretty hard," I said. "Don't you think you should try something easier first? Maybe work up to this?"

"The faster I get this stuff under control, the sooner I can go home."

"You have to crawl before you run, B."

"I know that."

"You don't have to push yourself so hard. I mean, your family knows you're okay now. They know where you are, you can see them every day if you want to."

"I just need to be there with them. Things get too crazy when-" She stopped and closed her eyes. "Nevermind."

When she opened them, she focused on the cards with a renewed determination. The ace of clubs rose into the air and hovered over her hands. She settled the card securely on top of the other two and managed to keep it there for a second, but a spastic flick of her wrist caused the card to fall in again.

"This is ridiculous," she huffed.

"I'm telling you, B, this is really hard for someone who just started training. I never would've been able to do anything like this on my second day."

She didn't respond immediately, instead choosing to stack some of the cards into a small pile, but after a moment of silence, she put the mini-deck down and looked up at me.

"Show me your powers," she said quietly.

I choked on air. "My what?"

"Your powers."

"You want to see them because…" I trailed off.

"I showed you mine, now show me yours."

"Wanky."

Brittany rolled her eyes. "I want to see them. Stop stalling."

"You've already seen some of them," I stalled.

She shook her head. "I've never seen you using your powers. Only Rumplestiltskin."

"We're the same person," I pointed out.

"Santana, come on."

I sighed. Holding my hand between us, I powered up and produced a small ball of energy in the palm of my hand. She reached out slowly and I pulled my hand back.

"You can't touch it," I warned. "It'll burn you."

She put her hands in her lap and I extended my arm again, making the ball bigger this time. It rotated slowly above my palm, casting a shimmering glow on our faces in the dimly lit room.

"I would've understood, you know," she said. "If you had told me."

I let out a humorless laugh. "You say that now, but that's because you know what's going on. What if you didn't have any idea about this stuff?"

"I would've tried," she insisted. "I would've tried to understand because you were my friend."

I frowned. "Were? I thought we were still doing the 'friends' thing, although I'm not sure how when you refuse to actually talk to me."

"I'm talking to you right now."

"Yeah, but you've blacklisted every topic that a friend would want to talk about."

She suddenly became super focused on making an organized deck from the scattered cards.

"Brittany, your dad was drunk today."

She dropped the cards. "We are not talking about that. You're breaking the rules."

I threw my hands up in frustration. "So what kind of friendship is this then? The kind without feelings?"

"No, the kind with too many feelings," she said harshly.

I was a little taken aback by her outburst. My hands fell limply to my lap. If I had never given her sad puppy eyes before, I was certainly doing it now.

Her expression softened and she sighed. "Can you blame me for feeling a little guarded right now?"

"No, I'm just confused," I said. "You said you needed a friend and now you barely talk to me."

"I know," she said, wringing her hands in her lap. "I'm trying to keep you close because I want you and keep you at a distance because you hurt me at the same time. It's confusing for both of us and it's not really fair, but I don't know if I can do any better than that right now. You're waiting for me to tell you what's okay and how it's gonna be from now on and I just don't know."

"Not to derail the conversation, but did you just say that you want me? Present tense?"

Brittany blushed, meeting my hopeful stare with a sad smile. "I always want you, Santana," she said. "Even when I don't want to want you, I want you. So you don't have to worry about that."

I took her hand. "Knowing that you still want me makes me feel a lot less anxious."

"Then maybe you can calm down a little?" she asked. "I really do want you and I want to fix this, but I need-"

"Time," I said, "and space. I get it. I'm stressing you out. I'll calm down."

She smiled, relieved. "Thank you."

"Will you try to maybe bring your walls down a little?" I asked. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm unarmed."

"I'll try," she said, "but… I don't want to talk about my family today, okay?"

"Whatever you feel comfortable with," I assured her.

I squeezed her hand tightly as we sat in the silent room. Desperate for a subject change, I brought up the first thing that came to mind.

"Wanna hear about the time I blew off my thumb?"

---

Sometime after midnight, we went back to David's room and took turns changing in the closet. Tina's pajamas fit me fine, but they were a little short on Brittany. I offered to trade my oversized Buckeyes shirt and a pair of shorts for her monogramed silk button-down and sweat pants, but she said she'd be alright. I sat down on the bed, slid under the covers, and waited patiently for Brittany to finish changing. I wasn't sure why I was waiting. A smart person would've pretended to be asleep after all the awkwardness and weird feelings that were going on between us. I wasn't a smart person.

Brittany came out of the closet and part of me wanted to laugh at the fact that in a matter of days, sexual orientation had gone from Brittany's top concern to the bottom of the list.

As soon as she sat down on the bed, the whole thing started rocking from her shaking.

She blushed. "I can go somewhere else. You need to sleep."

When she started to get up, I reached out to her and opened my arms. "Come here. The cuddling helped last time, remember?"

She waved me away. "No, it's okay. I can't sleep anyway. I'll just go watch a movie in the rec room or something. Pop some popcorn and not eat it."

"Oh. Ok." I tried not to sound disappointed at the missed cuddling opportunity. "Well, I can only sleep for so long so if you want some company, I'll be up later."

"Ok, see you later," she called over her shoulder as she left the room.

Time and space. Time and space. Time and space.

Since I was only going to sleep for three hours, I decided to get it out of the way. I snuggled up under the covers, alone in a gay man's bed.

---

It happens to everyone. You're in the middle of a really deep sleep when all of a sudden, you sense that something's not quite right in the world. Then you wake up and the cat is licking your feet or your girlfriend is watching you sleep or your alarm clock isn't set and you're 45 minutes late for that Important Thing.

I usually got that feeling when I overslept and Mercedes was standing over me with a pillow raised above her head, poised to strike. This time was different. It wasn't just my spidey-senses tingling. Something physical and weird was going on.

Somehow through the haze of sleep, I realized that I was charged up.

The fleeting thought jerked me into consciousness and my eyes snapped open. I'd never charged up in my sleep before, not even during the craziest of nightmares, so I was more than a little bit concerned. My eyes were casting an eerie glow on the ground. I was freaked the fuck out. Even freakier was the position I'd woken up in.

I'd fallen asleep on my side, watching minutes pass by on my alarm clock, but now I was standing in the hallway outside of David's room with my arms stretched out in front of me. My elbows were slightly bent and my fingers were flexing at random as my hands opened and closed around thin air. It wasn't hot, but I was sweating bullets. My shirt was practically glued to my chest and stomach and my hair was plastered across my forehead.

How the hell did I get out here? I don't sleepwalk.

As my sleep-addled brain tried to run through possible scenarios, my leg swung forward, causing me to take an ungraceful zombie step down the hall.

Um, excuse you, leg! You don't run shit around here.

I tried to take a step back, but instead, my other foot shot forward to match its twin. I tried to relax my arms, but the muscles and joints didn't budge. It wasn't until I felt the tingling wave of pins and needles running up and down my fingertips that I knew what was happening.

Brittany.

I wasn't sure what she could possibly want from me, but it seemed a little rude to just summon my body instead of coming to talk to me like a normal person.

I guess she did want a little company. We're gonna have to have a little talk about mind control etiquette. Lesson #1: I'm Not a Marionette.

I ambled down the hall like a coked-out Frankenstein, passing all of the bedrooms and finally coming to a stop in front of the rec room. Now that I was standing in front of the door, I didn't know what to do. My hands were still grasping at the air and I couldn't lower my arms to get to the doorknob. I also couldn't leave because my knees were locked. Brittany wanted me there, so that's where I had to be.

My right hand reached forward on its own, grasping the doorknob. The knob didn't turn. The door was locked. I couldn't knock and I didn't want to yell, but I didn't know how to let Brittany know I was waiting outside.

"Brittany!" I hissed, trying not to wake everyone in the building. "Brittany, open up!"

I tuned my superhearing into the room to see if Brittany was walking towards the door and my ears were met with the sound of theatrical moaning.

"Oh yes! Give it to me, mamacita! Harder!" a female voice cried out.

"Mmmm, you like the way I'm fucking you, no?" another woman replied in an incredibly fake accent.

"Yes, fuck me!"

Holy shit!

A few things became very clear in those few seconds:

1. Someone was watching a pornographic film.

2. A locked door indicated that I was, in fact, not invited to this party.

Unfortunately, mind control is a little bit persistent. If my arm was told to open the door, it was going to open the hell out of that door.

After all, what's a lock to the Incredible Hulk?

My wrist jerked again, harder this time, and I felt the lock snap.

"NO!" I whispered sternly at my body. "Don't go in there! Do not go in there!"

It was like watching a horror movie. My arm pushed the door and it swung open, hitting the wall with a bang. Brittany was sitting on the couch in front of the big screen TV and sure enough, there was porn on the TV. Her back was to me, but when the door hit the wall, Brittany spun around. Even in the dark, I could see all the color drain out of her face. All the tingling in my body stopped. My arms fell limply to my sides and my knees buckled as control of my body was abruptly returned to me.

"Oh my god!" she shrieked. She bent over and started scrambling on the floor for something while the movie continued to play. On the screen, a Latina woman wearing a strap-on was rabbit-humping the crap out of a blond woman on an air mattress. It was probably the cheapest looking video ever made. Not wanting anyone to wake up and walk in, I closed the door behind me.

Brittany popped up from the floor like a Whack-a-Mole and stood in front of the TV with her arms spread wide, trying to block the large screen from my view. It wasn't working, and on top of that I could still hear everything. Brittany looked like she'd just run a marathon. She was out of breath and her clothes were in complete disarray. She'd missed at least three buttons on her shirt and her Victoria's Secret sweatpants were on backwards so that the word "PINK" was written over her crotch. She wore a single striped sock on her right foot while the other sock dangled out of her pants pocket in an almost accusatory fashion. She was shaking so badly that it was making me feel dizzy.

"Heeeeeey, Santana," she said, laughing nervously. "I thought you were supposed to be asleep."

"Oh fuck yes! Give it to me!" the blond yelled in the background.

"I'm a light sleeper," I answered, waiting for Brittany to acknowledge the porn. "So…what's going on in here?"

"Right there! Right there!"

Brittany tried to shrug nonchalantly, but it looked more like a muscle spasm. "Not much. I just popped in a movie."

"Oh really?" I almost bit through my lip to keep from laughing.

She looked down at an uncovered portion of the screen just as the shot changed to a close-up of a purple strap-on gliding in and out of a vagina. With a completely straight face, she said, "These must be the previews."

I couldn't hold it in. I burst out laughing. "Britt, are you serious right now?"

"Serious about what?" she asked innocently.

I walked over to the coffee table and picked up a DVD case. On the front, the blond was seductively holding a pair of maracas in front of the Latina's boobs.

I read the title aloud. "'Hot Tamale: A spicy girl-on-girl fiesta that will have you heading South of the Border'?"

"You mean this isn't The Lion King?" Brittany looked appalled, crossing her arms in fake outrage.

"Give it up, B," I laughed. "You're watching porn. Really, really terrible porn."

She hung her head in shame. "I was hoping that if I acted like it wasn't happening, you wouldn't say anything."

I sat down on the couch. On her way around the coffee table, Brittany accidentally kicked something with her foot.

"Oh now I can find the stupid remote!" she grumbled. She stopped the movie and sat down next to me on the couch.

"Where did you even get this crap?" I asked, frowning at the DVD case.

"…Puck gave it to me," she admitted.

I slapped my hand over my face. "Seriously?"

"I went into the kitchen last night to get a glass of water and I was shaking so bad that I dropped the pitcher, the glass, the ice tray, everything. He said if you weren't going to help me out, then he would. So he let me go through his porn stash and told me to 'go crazy.'"

"And that didn't make you uncomfortable?"

"Tina was there, too. It sounded a lot less skeezy when she explained everything in medical terms."

"So this cinematic masterpiece was the winner?" I asked, turning the case over and inspecting the back.

Brittany grimaced. "Puck is into some pretty… different stuff. I didn't have a lot of options once I told him I wasn't into mythical creatures. This was the only thing in the humans-only section. When I saw the cover… well, the actress, she, um, looks kinda like… you. I thought I could ignore the rest, but it wasn't really doing anything for me."

I flipped the case back over. The Latina actress's name was Rosario Cruz. She did sorta-kinda look like me, if you squinted and turned your head to the side. We weren't twins or anything, but we could pass for relatives.

"She looks more like Nat, actually." I pointed at the girl's face. "She's got that Ramirez chin."

"Aaaaaaand now it's ruined." Brittany made a face, snatched the case out of my hands, and tossed it across the room.

"Of all the terrible things going on with this movie, that's what ruined it for you? I'm surprised Rosario didn't just dress up as theTaco Bell Chihuahua and bark the theme song to Dora the Explorer."

"I know, I know," she groaned, rubbing her temples. "It's cheesy and it's offensive and it looks like somebody filmed it on a graphing calculator. I know."

She lifted her head, finally looking me in the eye despite her embarrassment. "This isn't my proudest moment, but if I don't do something, I'm gonna literally explode into a million pieces."

"It's really that bad?" I asked. "It's 'Hot Tamale' bad?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Energy is flowing everywhere, and I mean everywhere. All the time. I have to do something. I was two seconds away from popping in 'Land Down Under.'"

I pointed at the TV. "Well, I don't want you watching this low-rent nonsense. When we get out of here, I'll show you some high-quality erotic films. The really good stuff, not this trash."

"So, we're making plans to watch porn?"

I paused. "Well, when you put it like that, it sounds weird."

"I don't really watch a lot of porn. I mean, Tommy liked it a lot, so he would always want it on in the background, but I'd just block it out and think about-"

She stopped, realizing that she wasn't just talking to me, she was talking to me. And since sharing personal and private feelings was forbidden as long as I was outside the Circle of Trust, she quickly changed the subject.

"What are you doing in here, anyway?"

"I'd like to know the answer to that myself." I mimed my jerky Frankenstein movements from the hall. "You mind-controlled me in here."

Her face scrunched up in confusion. "I did? How? "

"I don't know how that works," I said. "Figgins said I do what you want me to do. Did you want me to come in here?"

"And catch me watching 'Hot Tamale'? No way!" She looked genuinely shocked and based on her reaction when I'd entered the room, I knew she hadn't done it on purpose.

"Were you thinking about me at all?" I asked.

In the dim light of the TV screen, I could see Brittany's face growing beet red. She looked down at her hands.

"I was," she admitted quietly.

"You were? What were you-" I suddenly understood what she meant and my mouth snapped shut.

"Oh," was all I could think to say.

Brittany covered her face with both hands.

"God, this has to be the most embarrassing night of my life," Brittany mumbled to herself. She looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up.

Wanting to spare us all any further shame, I stood up. "So now that we've solved that mystery, why don't I go back to bed and you can just, uh… finish up here and when I wake up we can watch the Lion King or something?"

"Ok, yeah," she said, keeping her hands over her face. "That's a great idea. I'll just swing by when I'm… done."

"Great!" I turned on my heel, eager to end this awkward situation for the night. "Oh! Britt?"

"Yeah?"

"Snap that DVD in half."

---

"This is starting to get a little ridiculous," I said after I barged into the rec room for the fourth time.

Brittany was still sitting on the couch. The TV was still on, but the DVD player was empty, so the screen was just blue and blank. Brittany sat up, breathing heavily, but didn't turn around. She'd stopped bothering to redress herself after the second time I showed up unannounced.

"Sorry," she panted. "Guess I did it again."

"I think we need to reevaluate our strategy," I said, flexing my fingers now that I had control of them again.

Brittany turned halfway toward me and put her arm across the back of the couch. Her breaths were shaky and I could see her shoulders heaving in the darkness.

"Every time I try and don't finish, it just makes it worse," she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "and if you go back to your room, you're just going to end up right back in here again."

She pretty much just said she's not going to stop thinking about you while she touches herself.

Wanky. Literally.

"So do you want me to stay here or…?"

"If you stay here… Santana, I can't turn off this mind control thing. I'm afraid of what I might make you do." I started to protest, but she continued. "I don't want to do anything that's going to make you uncomfortable."

"What if I was a willing participant?" I offered.

"You mean you would… help me?"

Once the offer was put out there in plain terms, it sounded a little weird.

"I don't have any better ideas," I said.

I couldn't tell because of the panting, but Brittany sounded relieved. "We don't even have to bring it up ever again if you don't want to. I'm going crazy here. My skin is crawling, my heart is always racing. It's too much."

As fucked up as things were between us, the last thing we needed to be doing was anything sexual.

Honestly, what's the alternative?

I felt like I had a little devil sitting on my shoulder, whispering horrible ideas into my ear that would only lead to trouble. Meanwhile, the space on my other shoulder was noticeably vacant. Everyone in my family has an angel deficiency. It's genetic.

You're making a big deal out of this and it's not. You can help her without getting all emotional about it.

"Is that what you really want?" I asked.

"If I didn't, you'd still be in bed. Please, San."

She gave me the sad puppy eyes and I was a goner.

You said you were going to be there for her. She needs you, so be there.

Wordlessly, I walked over and stood behind the couch. I looked down, ready to ask her what she needed, but the words died in my throat. Brittany's sweatpants were balled up on the floor by her feet. She was sitting there in her underwear and striped socks. Her fancy nightshirt was completely unbuttoned exposing smooth, pale skin all the way from her neck down to her panties. The round swell of sideboob was clearly visible as she leaned back and looked up at me.

"It'll be quick, I promise," she whispered.

"W-what do you need me to do?" I whispered back. I didn't know why we were whispering, but it made the whole thing feel that much more scandalous.

"Come over here."

I walked around the couch and her eyes trailed up and down my body. Seeing her sitting in the middle of the couch reminded me of the disastrous make out session at my apartment. As catastrophic as it had turned out, she'd enjoyed it while it lasted.

Might as well go with what you know.

Instead of sitting on the couch next to her, I straddled her knees and sat facing her on her lap. Her breathing sped up and her hands reached out to hold my hips. I leaned forward to kiss her, but for the second time since I told her the truth about everything, she tilted her head and my lips landed on her nose. Sensing my disappointment, she kissed my chin tenderly.

"Not yet," she said. "I don't- let's not do that just yet."

I quickly moved on, resting my hand on her stomach and stroking her skin with my thumb. She shivered and bit her lip.

"What about this?" I slowly pulled Brittany's shirt open, exposing her breasts to the air. I'd held them before, but this was my first time seeing them and they were every bit as perfect as I imagined. "Can we do this?"

"Yes," she hissed. "Please, touch me."

Not wanting to prolong it anymore, I slid my hand up her stomach and cupped her breast. Her breath hitched and she put her hand on top of mine, kneading it gently and urging me on. I brushed my fingertips over her hard, pink nipples and trailed up and down the swell of her breasts with feather light touches. Her grip on my hips tightened and she whimpered softly as I teased her.

"San, come on. More, please."

My fingers tingled and moved themselves back up to her nipples. I took Brittany's hint and started slowly circling her nipples with my thumbs. She sank back against the couch cushions and let out a contented sigh. It dawned on me that this was the position my hands had been in when I had woken up under her control. I leaned forward and kissed her from her temple all the way down to her ear.

"Is this what you wanted?" I whispered, rolling a pert nipple between my forefinger and thumb. "Have you been thinking about this all night?"

She nodded fervently. "Yeah. I was thinking about- mmmmm, that night on the couch. When you touched me like this."

I circled the other nipple with my fingertip, just barely touching her. She pushed her chest out, trying to get more contact.

"And here I thought you were mad at me," I smirked.

"I am mad at you," she groaned, "but you're still so hot."

I laughed softly against her ear. "At least I have that going for me." I looked down at my hands and took in the visual of holding and caressing her. I almost told her how beautiful she was, but I knew she didn't want to hear anything like that from me. "Do you think about me a lot?"

"All the time," she breathed.

Holy sweet hell.

Now I was genuinely curious.

"Is this what you usually think about? Us on the couch? Like this?"

She shook her head. "You. Sitting on the bar in front of me."

"Naked?"

"No. Underwear."

"And what happens when I'm sitting on the bar in front of you?"

"You open your legs for me so I can," she groaned and grabbed my hips again, bucking up against me. "So I can taste you."

4.

This time, I moaned. A pulse of energy ripped up the back of my head and shocked my system. It was pure, unadulterated pleasure. I let out an embarrassing grunt and my hips jerked forward. Brittany moaned loudly.

"Oh god. Do you feel that?"

I nodded, unable to speak as another wave crashed over me. Unfortunately, I also felt something else surge through me. It wasn't a pins-and-needles tingle like the one caused by Brittany's mind control. It was more of a dull burn and I knew what that meant.

"Fuck."

I let go of Brittany's breasts and put my hands behind my back. I couldn't see the look of disappointment on her face because my eyes were closed, but I could tell by the dejected whimper that she wasn't happy.

"What happened? What's wrong?" she asked.

"My powers. I can't touch you like this. I could hurt you."

"You won't hurt me," she said.

I already have.

Another tingle spread through my hand. Without my permission, my hand pressed itself against Brittany's collarbone and slowly began to slide down her torso, getting lower and lower until it reached Brittany's pantyline. A knot of fear instantly formed in my stomach, causing me to power down.

She can't be in control. Especially not when you're touching her.

I nipped her earlobe. "No, Britt."

"San, I need to-"

"You do it," I said. We locked eyes and with all the confidence I could fake, I said "Touch yourself."

Her cheeks flushed and her breathing picked up again. Wanting to rid her of any lingering hesitancy, I sat up straighter and looked right into her eyes.

"I want to watch you."

Without missing a beat or dropping my gaze, she moved my hand away and slid her own into her panties. She let out a long ragged breath and her eyes closed briefly before meeting mine again. True to my word, I watched her hand move inside her damp panties, listening to the slick sounds of her fingers sliding through her wetness.

"How wet are you?" I panted.

She held my hip painfully tight. "Soaked."

I shifted, trying to ignore my own arousal while I tended to hers. My heart pounded in my chest as she attempted to pull my sweatshirt up with one hand. She tugged it roughly and when my brain finally returned from its vacation, I reached down and pulled it off in one quick move, shivering as the cool air hit my sweaty skin. Brittany whimpered at the sight of me. Her eyes roamed over my naked breasts and stomach as she touched herself.

"Not wrong… It's okay… to want this. It's okay," she whispered so low that I could barely hear it.

Even when I don't want to want you, I want you.

It made me wonder how many times Brittany had made herself come just like this, thinking about me, wanting me, only to hate herself and feel disgusted afterwards. How many times had she thought that it was wrong, that she was wrong?

Her free hand roamed my body, sliding around my hip to briefly rub my ass and then making its way up my back, coming to rest between my shoulder blades.

"Oh god, I'm so close." Brittany's hand began to move in earnest. I could see her fingers moving underneath the fabric in tight, firm circles as she brought herself closer and closer to the edge. Her other hand pressed hard into my back and I sat up straighter, lifting my butt slightly off of her lap.

"What do you need, B?"

"I need… I need…" I could see that she was thinking too hard about something and it was taking her out of the moment. She was hesitating.

"Don't think about it. Just take it. Whatever it is, you can have it."

She let out a soft moan as she nodded. "Ok, ok, I'm gonna do it."

And suddenly, she was slouching and pushing me up. She leaned forward and when I felt the soft press of her lips between my breasts, the energy hit me again and a violent shudder went through my body as the pleasure ripped me apart.

8.

"Oh fuck," I choked out. "Brittany!"

I slammed my hands down on the couch by her shoulders, gritting my teeth and trying to hold every ounce of energy inside me. Her warm, wet tongue slid against my skin as she dropped open-mouthed kisses all over the sides of my breasts. She nipped gently from my underboob all the way up to my bullet wound and gave it a gentle peck before taking my nipple into her mouth and running her tongue across it. I couldn't even form the words I needed to tell her to be careful. To explain to her that I was a ticking time bomb and she was lighting all the wrong fuses. I couldn't even be bothered to close my eyes.

Brittany blinked at the sudden brightness, and when she looked up at me, her breath hitched, her mouth fell open, and her head fell between my boobs.

"Santana!" she cried out. The sound was pretty much absorbed by my boob, but I could make out the word nonetheless. Every muscle in her body tensed and I could feel the strange, pleasurable energy flowing between us as she came. She didn't move from that position until her orgasm was over.

When she finally came down, her shoulders slumped and she let her head fall back to the couch. Discreetly removing her hand from her underwear, she wiped her wet fingers on her nightshirt.

"Jeez," she breathed out. She kept her eyes closed, which was for the best because my eyes were still like floodlights. "Oh wow. That feels so much better."

There was not a hint of a tremor in Brittany's body. She looked exhausted.

Looks like you can declare victory. Puck wasn't lying, Brittany's all better, no one had to watch Hot Tamale, and you didn't break the couch-

During my internal awards ceremony, Brittany shifted again. She pressed her lips to my breast again, right over the bullet wound. Her hand slipped around my waist and as her fingertips dipped just below my waistband, she mumbled, "your turn."

In almost exactly the same way as it had the last time, the back of the couch snapped off of its frame and we both went tumbling to the floor. It was almost as shameful as it had been before, only this time instead of looking confused and frightened, Brittany looked slightly amused.

"That's actually pretty funny when I know why it happens."

"There is nothing funny about this. Another couch cut down in its prime."

"It was worth it. Are gonna do that every time?"

"No. In fact, I'm never going to sit on a couch with you ever again."

"That's too bad. I think the ending might be my favorite part."

"Oh hush."

We stared at each other for a moment as our small smiles faded. The differences between the last couch incident and our current position stared to become very apparent. Our mostly naked torsos were pressed together, our panties were ruined, and we knew too much. Once the haze of lust had been lifted and the urgency of the moment was gone, it didn't take long for the awkwardness to settle in. You know, the awkwardness that happens when you let a girl watch you masturbate.

"Did you want to…" she glanced down at my shorts.

"No, I'm fine," I lied. Just the effort it took to say that was worth an Oscar. I was practically throbbing, but as worked up as I was, I hadn't figured out how to not blow us up.

"Oh. Ok."

A number of emotions crossed Brittany's face as we laid there. The worst part of the whole thing was that I knew she wasn't going to talk to me about it.

"We should probably get to bed," she said.

"Oh. Right," I said stupidly. I rolled off of her and sat up.

She found my shirt and handed to me. I got myself in order while she retrieved her pants and turned off the TV.

"What are we gonna do about the couch?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. It's a chaise lounge now. Merry Christmas, McKinley."

Testing the waters a bit, I reached out to take her hand. She just stared at it blankly.

"Everyone's asleep. Humor me."

"It's not that." She put the hand I was reaching for into the pocket of her sweats. "I just don't want to use that hand."

She held out the hand that hadn't been buried in her panties and I took it. We walked down the hall in the dark, swinging our hands between us until we reached David's room. Without acknowledging the fact that we were doing so, we both went to separate corners of the room and changed our underwear. I finished first and slid into bed, expecting to us both to go straight to sleep. I was completely taken off guard when Brittany slid in behind me and assumed the role of Big Spoon. As if sensing my confusion, she whispered, "Just wanted to be close."

"No complaints from this corner."

Normally, cuddling after I had failed to orgasm would be absolute torture, but having Brittany hold me felt wonderful.

"Thank you for helping me," Brittany whispered.

I almost responded with "anytime," but I didn't want it to sound pervy, so instead I said, "You're welcome."

I turned my head so that I could almost see her in my peripheral vision. "Are you feeling weird about it?"

She didn't say anything and I sighed.

"I know, feelings-talk. Sorry."

It wasn't until fifteen minutes later when I was almost asleep that she spoke.

"I kissed your breasts and it was probably the hottest thing that's ever happened in my life. I'm trying to be okay with that."

I rubbed her arm. "I want you to be okay with that."

"It's just that I've never done anything that… gay before." She pressed her face into the back of my neck and sighed. "Physically."

"The emotional part of all this is pretty gay, Britt," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I figured that out a while ago," she said.

"And there's nothing wrong with that."

"I know." She let out a great big yawn and tightened her embrace.

"You know it here." I reached my hand back and rested it on her head. I took her other hand and pressed it against my heart. "You have to know it in here, too."

Her fingertips grazed my sternum and she dragged the backs of her fingers over my clothed breasts, lingering momentarily over my bullet wound.

"I love your boobs," she murmured. "They're amazing."

"They love you too, but if you don't stop touching them, I'm going to have a mental breakdown."

"Sorry." She yawned again. "You should've let me help you."

"No, it's okay. Helping you was enough for me. Besides, I don't know if I could take any more of that crazy energy exchange. Is that what happened the other day with Puck?"

I suddenly felt irrationally jealous. It wasn't like either of them voluntarily participated in it, but I still didn't like that he'd shared that with her.

"No, not at all," she said. "It was so much more intense with you. I've never felt anything like that before."

Good. Let's keep it that way.

She yawned a third time, this time stretching hard as she did. "Wow. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was sleepy."

I shrugged. "Maybe you are. Rest for a bit."

Brittany snuggled up as close as she could and within a few minutes, she was snoring softly. After five days of being awake, Brittany was finally sleeping peacefully. I wasn't sure if it was all of the activity that had tired her out or what, but I was willing to take credit for it.

I snuggled further into her embrace, thrilled that she was actually holding me and scared out of my mind about what would happen when she woke up. I wasn't sure if this closeness and feelings-sharing was all afterglow or if Brittany was really going to open up to me again.

What if she freaks out in the morning? What if she gay-panics? What if she feels like I took advantage of her? Is the economy so bad that people are really making porn on air mattresses now? Is that a thing?

What happens when she starts shaking again?

Brittany's arm tightened around me.

"San, quit moving," she mumbled sleepily against the back of my neck.

She wants to hold you tonight. Maybe that's all that matters for now. No sense in tossing and turning over it. Go to sleep.

"Goodnight, Britt," I whispered. She murmured something incoherent into my neck. I closed my eyes and let myself drift off, hoping that maybe, finally, things were starting to turn around.

---

A/N: "Panacea" means "cure-all."

I realize I didn't address the whole mall incident, but that's coming. I wanted Brittany and Santana to get their feels out in the open.

I hope you didn't think that was 99 pages of shit, but I'm really interested in what people have to say about this chapter so yeah. Let's chat.

Credit for "premature hand lasers" goes to Stoic Last Stand :)

Fucking Super's birthday was on 3/30 and in case you missed my post about it, I love you all. You're all Fucking Super.

Until next time,
-LateInLifeTiburón