NDA - 09.10.17

listen, writing take time, you can't deny it. It's like drawing. Right. Now that this tidbit is clear let's talk about what bother me. Giving chapters to a beta need two things that you might overlook: 1. organisation skills, 2. more time to get over the corrections. Both thing I lack. Betas readers are cool! I had some both in french and english I had good relationships with! but ultimately, it's not possible for me, for an ongoing fic.

So I'm not getting a beta reader while the fic is ongoing! and don't come say to me the mistakes are hindering the lecture bc:

1. I know I have mistakes, I don't care. You can read, I know it. Native english told me it's clear, if not always perfectly 'comfortable'.

2. Either you have a fic, or you have nothing as my fic is written but not edited and not posted. I write bc I enjoy it, I'd like to share it too, but I'm certainly not trying to win a nobel prize of literature with my fic, in do the hard work for my original french fiction, not for a hobby

also, the fic still not isn't updated regularly, or at all. Bc y'all are shouting about beta reader and it piss me off, especially when there twenty or so people who favorite the fic but don't care to say anything. That's not giving me the will to update or correct my mistakes.

end of the NDA, bye see you in months

Fourteen

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Sephiroth heard the footsteps in the corridor before the key was even in the lock.

"I'm back!" Angeal called from the entryway.

"I'm in the kitchen," Sephiroth answered without raising his voice. No need when his lovers were enhanced too.

His lover all but dragged himself in the kitchen, his feet rubbing the ground. Sephiroth recovered a cup of coffee from what Genesis left and offered it to Angeal who took it with a relieved sigh. Dark rings marred his face, his eyelids fell on his dark eyes and his face was pale. Angeal looked awful.

"Where's Genesis?" Angeal asked with a frown. "In bed? It's a bad day?"

"Not closely," Sephiroth answered. "He's in the gym, commenting the personal training of each SOLDIER with Cloud. Or they moved to the classes to comment the teachers."

"What? He's with Cloud? You let him?" Angeal asked without breathing. "Wait, sorry, I know it's impossible to stop him from doing things sometimes, but you aren't with them? Watching over him?"

Taken aback by Angeal's reaction Sephiroth blinked and searched a reason for him to be so worried.

"Didn't you see my message about the way Cloud acted with Genesis?"

Angeal waved it off, "It's not important. He may be playing to get closer to Genesis."

"Why would he do that?"

"Gain power, execute an order, I don't know!"

For all the informations Genesis drowned Sephirtoh under when he came back, only one jumped out to him which could explain Angeal's worry. He put down his mug and inhaled. He had to sort thing through.

"Why would he have been ordered to get closer to Genesis?"

"I don't know, it's just a feeling. To gain inside knowledge."

"Then he would have approached Tseng, Rufus or Lazard. Maybe even the President."

"Which is impossible like that. So Genesis it is. And maybe later he'll try Lazard and Rufus."

Sephiroth could see a convoluted logic under all but there was an edge in Angeal's voice which put a dent in his ideas. He observed the man more closely. The way he clenched his fists, how he walked few steps before coming back to face Sephiroth and his eyes flicking around them. It wasn't Angeal's usual behaviour. Wether it be sleep deprivation or long lasting paranoia as Genesis thought, Angeal had a problem and his judgement shouldn't be trusted about the ex-Watchers. Not without proofs.

"Strife wants Genesis to trust him for a reason and I'll find it," Angeal asserted. "The Watchers refused to go to the labs, it's telling, no? The reports from the bam by Zack's squad made clear Cloud was friend with a scientist. He isn't as scared as he let Lazard thought. The official report from the Turk said Strife was strong enough to make others Watchers leave him alone most of the time by fear. So he had a good place in the organisation too. I'm certain he's close to the Numbers. Maybe gatter intelligence in the most dangerous way is a rite of passage."

Angeal paused and turned to Sephiroth as if waiting for him to add something. But Sephiroth was stunned by Angeal's monologue. He frowned and looked around to save himself a few seconds of reflection.

"Are you joking, and you're too into it for me to realise?" Sephiroth asked.

"I know you're bad at reading the mood of people but I thought you knew me well enough for it to be over!" Angeal shook his head in disbelief. "I'm not joking. Can you understand why I'm worried?"

"You are going too far, Geal."

"What do you mean? You don't believe me?"

Sephiroth liked his lips then pinched them. Angeal was too nervous and on the offensive. It wasn't good. And it wasn't a state he knew how to deal with. A spurt anger would be less of a strain simply because Angeal tended to shout and ask to be left alone must he say something offensive, but Angeal wasn't angry. Not yet.

"I wish I could but as I said, you are seeing Cloud as an enemy since the start. You didn't see anything positive in him. Which is far from your normal reaction to people." Sephiroth took a breath before finishing, "I think your degradation touches your mental state more than your body."

A roar more than a question left Angeal's throat, "What?"

Sephiroth moved away from the counter so he wouldn't be blocked if Angeal made it physical. It was the first time Angeal had been so angry and directed all of it toward him. Sephiroth kept an impassible face, as it was his protection since a kid facing this sort of outburst, but his heart pounded in his chest.

"You don't believe me!"

He closed the distance between them at Sephiroth's dismay. Angeal looked down at the General who meet his eyes even if he wanted to look away. Sometimes, just keeping eye contact made the people calm down.

Genesis said it was because gazing into a straight face made nervous people. Especially if it was the General. It made him look determined and immovable. Sephiroth certainly didn't felt unshakeable right now, but the face was the trick. He breathed and answered.

"No, I'm not. I will repeat you what you said later so you'll understand."

"Understand what? That you prefer to believe an enemy than me?"

"Geal, I'm not- "

"You don't believe me!" Angeal cried, tapping his own chest. "I try to protect Genesis. I try to protect everyone but you put your faith in the Strife?"

"Please, Geal. You're not yourself."

After few minutes Sephiroth realised they were going full circle without having a conversation. He was glad when Angeal finally became so angry he staled off, going for his garden. The silver-haired man hesitated for the course of action. A part of him wanted to made sure Angeal was fine, but another was too full of negative energy not to pick another fight. And if Angeal was degrading, he wouldn't risk his health only to steam off both of their anger in a swordfight.

He choose to head for the gyms and hope someone would be willing to fight him.

ₒₒₒ

Cloud was enjoying whipping the floor with Kunsel. At first. As Genesis said it differed from the treadmill and the change was good. But Kunsel wasn't an opponent strong enough for the blond. Soon he started being bored and spend most of the time correcting Kunsel stance rather than fighting him. Genesis lifted himself from the ground, announcing he was prospecting to find him a good opponent when Sephiroth came.

"I need an opponent," the silver-haired man declared.

The gym, made silent at his arrival, started buzzing anew. Genesis clapped the SOLDIERs the nearest from him, a shit eating grin on his face who made Cloud shudder.

"Cloud needs one too! It's perfect!"

The blond eyed Masamune already in the General's hand and shook his head, "I don't want to fight with swords. Only hands-to-hands."

"And I'm not inclined toward hands-to-hands if not with Angeal."

"Why don't you ask him?" a SOLDIER asked. "I heard he came back."

"I fought with him," Sephiroth said between gritted teeth.

The SOLDIER gulped and disappeared from the man's vision in an instant.

"Come on, I want to see this fight," Genesis whined at Sephiroth. "I'm sure you can have fun! From what I saw Cloud is at your level in hand-to-hand. And it's been a bit of time you didn't fight like this."

Genesis turned to Cloud and the blond knew the red-head wouldn't back down. It was certain. The simple presence of the silver-haired man put him on edge but he had spent enough time at the gym tiring himself before that to be relaxed enough. Just enough for him not to try to kill Sephiroth accidentally. He hoped.

"Really? When did you fight hand to hand for the last time?" Cloud asked Sephiroth. "Someone who wasn't Lt. General Hewley."

"Years ago," Sephiroth answered dismissively as he scanned the SOLDIERs. "So? Who is coming?"

"Years. I'm pretty sure you're rusted," Cloud teased. He wiggled his fingers to Sephiroth enjoying greatly the frown that deepened on the man's face. "I've been fighting dirty in the Watchers for years, I'm pretty sure I'll challenge you. Finding a swordman to spar with that'll be matching you, it's unlikely."

"Don't be so full of yourself." Sephiroth huffed and looked away, but there was something that told Cloud he was interesting him. "You should learn humility."

Cloud smiled with amusement. He shook his head and changed his smile for a smirk as he crossed his arms, "Make me."

Sephiroth's eyes widened imperceptibly. Next to Cloud, Genesis snickered and murmured that Sephiroth was sold. True to the redhead's words Sephiroth made Masamune disappear, which made Cloud exhale a forced steady breathe. The man approached, taking off his coat. Cloud starred at the simple t-shirt on Sephiroth shoulders. It was a perfectly normal shirt, but it was strange to see the man dressed like a sensible person.

"So... what's banned?" Cloud asked, rubbing a foot on the mat.

"Nothing. Give your all."

Cloud lifted a brow and crossed Sephiroth's eyes a second, "You sure?"

The man nodded but Cloud insisted.

"Every dirty tricks are allowed?"

"As I said," Sephiroth repeated, sounding irritated.

Cloud shrugged. He let the man warm up and looked at the way he held himself, his shorter hair and his bare feet. Little mimics helped him differentiate from the Sephiroth Cloud affronted in his mind during his mako poisoning. Sephiroth change in clothes helped the most.

Around them the SOLDIERs were flocking toward the mat, curious as cats. Genesis smiled like he had been offered a gift and his eyes glinted with glee. Cloud frowned at him and stopped himself from sticking his tongue out. Genesis met his eyes a second and the red head his smile broadened. Cloud groaned interiorly as Genesis smiled like a dragon ready to play with a running diner. He wasn't even the one that'll fight! But the man seemed really happy to put Cloud face to the great General. Cloud tried to remember if he had a petty fight unresolved with the redhead to no avail.

Genesis would be surprised, Cloud wasn't going to go easy on Sephiroth.

He breathed deeply and willed his hands not to shake when Sephiroth faced him. He wasn't sure he was doing this only to please Genesis. Deep inside there was a need to prove he could surpass Sephiroth. Cloud needed to be sure he could stop the man if he tried something.

Sephiroth nodded and they started. Although they stayed immobile a long time, gauging each other. In the mean time Cloud found his breath. The mad Sephiroth never let him breath or think, he hit and hit and hit, until Cloud was only fighting by instinct. There he relaxed his muscles allowing him to be agile and quick on his feet.

The General made the first move. With remarkable speed he grabbed Cloud's wrist. Cloud's heart jumped in his throats and the next moves were more instinctive than considered. Nimble, Cloud ducked under his opponent arm. He ended in Sephiroth's back. He pulled his wrist free just enough to grab Sephiroth's. He twisted it in the man's back eliciting an inaudible yelp. Holding onto Sephiroth's wrist, Cloud pushed until Sephiroth was unbalanced. Then he tripped the man.

Cloud let go when he saw the man on the ground, holding himself by one hand. Sephiroth's hair made a shining pool around him. Silence was made around them, but Cloud kept his eyes on the actual menace. Sephiroth rose, his hair cascading on his shoulders. The poor guy looked embarrassed by his quick defeat. Although the clue about Sephiroth's mood was tiny, hidden in the downside of his mouth. He shook his head to clear his eyes from the strands. Cloud followed the movement and knew how he'd made Sephiroth lose next. The man nodded, confirming he was ready for another round. Cloud smiled.

The General seemed to have updated his approach. He went for a good punch. Cloud caught it then imitated him. Sephiroth avoided it easily, smirking at Cloud. The blond smiled back. He opened his hand as it brushed past the man's ear and grabbed a fistful of hair. With a quick pull and another tripping Sephiroth was on the ground.

"You have a very poor balance," Cloud hummed to himself.

"A poor balance? Him?" came a disbelieving comment from one of the SOLDIERs.

A choked sound came from behind Cloud who turned to see Genesis holding in a laugh. The red-head made a movement and someone gave him his water bottle. Genesis didn't lose his smile.

"Up now." Cloud ordered the bewildered Sephiroth. Genesis laugh was heard until Sephiroth glared at him and he stifled it. "Come on." Cloud pushed.

When the silver haired finally stood Cloud met his eyes as he thought. Sephiroth tilted his head to the side, realising Cloud wasn't going to fight. The blond nodded to himself and come closer to Sephiroth, yet still at arm's length. The General made a sign he was going to step back, but Cloud stopped him. He invaded Sephiroth space and if he interpreted the man's body language correctly, Sephiroth wasn't happy about it, but was still curious.

"You move like your gravitational center is here." Cloud said, pointing under Sephiroth's navel. "But it should be here." Cloud pointed higher. "It's like you had a growth spurt and didn't adapt."

"I doubt it's the reason I'm losing to you," Sephiroth said as he casually put distance between them. "I never had a problem when fighting."

"You're overcompensating with SOLDIER stamina, strength and speed. Not good. One day an opponent will find you unarmed and you'll need to win," Cloud said. "I'm going to show you."

"I'd prefer to learn who you fight," Sephiroth commented.

"When you'll have good bases. Tie your hair up; it's a fight hazard."

"Strife, I insist-"

"I'm not showing you anything till you stand correctly," Cloud hissed. Behind him the continued laughter from Genesis still resonated. He turned to him. "What?"

"You're bossing the great General!"

"He's not so great if he can't stand correctly. Did Angeal really fought with him? And he didn't saw his faults?" Cloud mumbled between his teeth. He returned his eyes to Sephiroth who put his hair in a ponytail. "No! Let me do it, you can't even tie your own hair. What's so great about you if you can't stand or tie your hair."

Cloud made the puzzled General turn so he could braid his hairs then made a bun. He kept mumbling about everything that bothered him about Sephiroth under Genesis laughter. Which calmed a second only to rise up when Cloud said something that was funny for the red-head. Cloud couldn't fathom what was funny when he talked about Sephiroth's errors which could cost him his life.

When Cloud was finished, he noticed the pleading eye Sephiroth send toward Genesis. It was kind of cute to see the great General – not so great in Cloud's opinion – search help from his lover. Seeing that only cemented Cloud's stupid implusion. An impulsion that came after witnessing young enhanced Watchers being beaten up because they didn't know how to fight. Cloud often took them to learn how the basics, until they found they own group or were send in missions for never coming back in Cloud's care. The fact it was Sephiroth didn't made his mind falter in his decision. He needed a teacher and nobody seemed to do that, not even Genesis or Angeal.

The following half hour was spent forcing Sephiroth to learn things Cloud was still baffled he had to teach the man. It was so ridiculous Cloud tried to ask Genesis if Sephiroth was playing with him. But by Sephiroth pinched and serious expression when Cloud showed him something it wasn't just a joke to play with him.

Two times Cloud spent a long moment with the man and two times he found out Sephiroth acted like a proud chocobo who tried to make others forget he had a leg stuck in a hole.

Sephiroth as a chocobo stayed with Cloud and forced him to hide his smile when the man shook his head as he said they had to go. Cloud didn't know if Sephiroth was sick of being taught like an amateur or if he saw Genesis dosing off, his healthy hand cradling his other arm. Surely both.

Looking at the time Cloud suddenly speed up. He was going to be late to the call with Zack. His shower was rushed, his hair still wet went he left to rejoin Reno. If the SOLDIERs went slack on the whole rule of following the ex-Watchers around the three of them still hadn't the right to go on certain levels without babysitters. Heavyly armed babysitters.

One waited for him outside the showers. Cloud vaguely remembered him, but his name didn't come to his mind. He shrugged the thought off. The man didn't need to be here anyway.

"I wanted to talk, Strife."

Cloud passed him without glancing at his face, but he hoped the man would be shocked, "Can't. Busy."

He moved by instinct when he heard the other move. The SOLDIERs hand grabbed nothing but air as Cloud faced him. His heart beat faster but he kept his cool and stared down the man.

"What are you trying to do exactly with the Firsts?"

"And you?"

The man made a face, "What?"

Cloud moved away, listening to the strange footsteps coming their way.

"Yo, Cloud! Zack can't talk, they're packing up." Reno shook Cloud's shoulder then went away. "Try not to kill anyone today, yo."

The blond ran his hand in his hair and sighed. Reno wanted him to be beaten up or what? Maybe the Turks had a beating poll on how long he would hold before attacking people. Or being attacked. He glanced with disinterest at the man he still couldn't remember the name. Then walked away. The man made him uncomfortable.

"Strife!"

Cloud didn't stop, "What?"

"I want to talk."

The man who's name didn't ring a bell for Cloud caught up to him and forced him to stop.

"Not me."

"I really don't like what you're doing. Or you for that matter."

"I realised."

He saw a SOLDIER – Abe he thought – leave the gym and pause in the corridor as he observed them a second. He looked hesitant to approach and step in what could escalate into a brawl. Not that Cloud wanted that to happen since he loved his tranquility more than anything. A fight would destroy the little faith on him the SOLDIERs managed to build which was little, but enough for Cloud to ignore his urge to make his conversation partner swallow his broken teeth.

"Do you want to fight?"

"You could have asked in the gym," Cloud said.

"Luxiere! You again." Kunsel voice was a relief for Cloud. "Seriously, Cloud didn't say or do something that could be interpreted as threatening. Why are you on him like that?"

Cloud observed Luxiere as Kunsel came closer with his helmet still on. Luxiere shifted his stance from one leg to another and crossed his arms defensively as he scowled at the Second coming. Cloud almost jumped out of his skin when Kunsel put a hand on his shoulder.

"He's a Watcher."

"Ex-Watcher," answered Kunsel, voice icy cold.

Luxiere glanced at Cloud, his eyes carrying something that put Cloud on edge. He didn't even know what the man had against him except he had been a Watcher. Maybe it was enough to hate him so much, but Luxiere made Cloud uncomfortable which didn't stick to the man's hostility. Cloud always responded to those sort of things with calm ignorance until the first blow was thrown. Being uncomfortable face to Luxiere didn't made sense.

"He always had some sort of agenda. Do you remember him and Zack? Zack didn't know him for weeks that he changed attitude drastically toward the troopers."

"Well, he had a friend, Cloud in them, he wasn't going to keep being a jerk like you. Zack grew up. You should do the same."

Cloud inhaled. The sudden reminder about Zack's absence hurt him as much as a blow in the plexus. He closed his eyes to keep the emotional turmoil at bay. With no results. His chest heaved without helping in bringing oxygen to his lungs. He wanted to talk to Zack.

"You're such a pain in the ass, Kunsel," Luxiere said.

"Solid argument," mumbled Cloud without thinking.

Kunsel chuckled, pressing his shoulder. Luxiere glared at him with fire in his eyes. Luxiere's hand closed and opened as he thought about starting a fight. Cloud moved a few centimeters away from Kunsel. If Luxiere attacked, it was better if he wasn't in Kunsel's feet and vice-versa.

"You have nothing to give to Zack, except more problems."

Cloud kept a straight face, but the words stung. They touched a dark place in him he tried to keep confined. Being insecure could cost you your life on a battleground. His hands shook at his sides, not from the urge to fight, though. Cloud liked his lips, the anxiety building in him since Luxiere's arrival slowly became an anxiety attack.

"Let me deal with him, Cloud," Kunsel said before pushing a bit Cloud.

He hesitated, but the moment Luxiere opened his mouth to say something, he was leaving. A fist-fight would have hurt much less than the stupid accusations Luxiere threw at him. The man seemed to say exactly what Cloud's guilt had tried to convince him.

Cloud didn't know where to go. He could return to the dorm. But wouldn't people on the floor thought his return suspicious? Cloud wasn't so sure he would calm down in the room as he waited for a possible interruption. In fact there wasn't any place he could think of where he could calm down without being plagued by the thought someone would find him.

He walked past the communal showers next from the gym and continued to the little square of challway that was never passed, even if there was a door. A supply closet, surely, that no one used. It wasn't the best place to have a breakdown, but a good one to take back his breath.

He hadn't thought he would meet Angeal Hewley there.

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