Chapter 14 – Clear Words

The blade moved in a straight line across his throat, making a faint, scratching noise. Eskel briefly ran his thumb over his cheek. The shaving on the edges of his scar required special care, but through years of practice, he didn´t need much time for the procedure. Satisfied with the result, he cleaned the blade in the washbowl and folded the razor.

Someone knocked at the door. Eskel wiped his skin with a towel and opened. Even if he hadn't heard the soft footsteps on the stairs, the sight of the person standing outside wouldn't have been much of a surprise. Triss.

She smiled at him, beautiful as ever. "Good morning, Eskel. How are you?"

Eskel opened the door slightly further to let her in.

"Good. Better than yesterday." Eskel grabbed his shirt and pulled it over.

"I'd like to check again if your body has further degraded the poison, if you allow..."

"Sure."

Eskel sat down in the chair beside his bed. Triss put one of her magical amulets over his head and softly chanted a spell. As she put her hand on his chest, just above the heart, the soft glow from her fingertips went through his skin into his body. Eskel was now used to the tingling sensation of magical probing. In the last few days Triss had repeatedly subjected him to this procedure. It was not unpleasant - quite the contrary. However, Eskel once again wondered if these frequent checks were really necessary because he felt notably better. But since he didn't want to offend Triss, he said nothing and let her do it.

"The poison has apparently completely disappeared from your body. I cannot feel it anymore and the amulet isn't reacting at all. You made it, Eskel." Triss pulled her hand back with a smile.

Eskel buttoned his shirt. "I also feel much better. It´s about time for me to get out of this room ... "

He got up and reached for his jacket. After three days in bed, recovering from the aftermath of the poisoning, he now wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

"Careful, Eskel. You still have to recover. The poison had already done a lot of damage. It will take a few more days for your body to fully regenerate," Triss warned.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of myself. But if I have to spend another day in this bed, I'll go insane."

When he and Triss walked into the great hall, Lambert was there mending one of his shirts. He was sitting on the wide bench by the dining table, his feet comfortably resting on a chair. A long tear drew through the white fabric of the shirt, which lay on his lap. He apparently closed it with only little patience and skill. When he heard Triss and Eskel, he looked up.

"Oh, look at that! Someone raised from the dead!" Lambert put his sewing work aside, stood up and hugged Eskel. "Nice to see you on your feet again, brother. Being half dead, you've looked even scarier than you normally already do."

"Well, you'll have to endure my sight a little longer," countered Eskel, who returned the hug. "Is Thalia in the lab?"

For the past few days she had only visited him briefly at his bedside. Apparently she was very engrossed in her work and spent most of her time in the lab of Kaer Morhen. During her visits, she had always been quite restrained - possibly because Triss had been there every time. Perhaps Thalia felt unsettled by Triss's presence. It was obvious that she had great respect for the sorceress. But Eskel had not meant to be rude to Triss by asking her to leave.

The sorceress had been with him almost constantly for the past few days to monitor his condition. As much as he valued her company - he was glad to escape the constant chatter now.

Last winter, when Triss had spent a few weeks in Kaer Morhen to keep her old friends company, there had been a time when Eskel had been more than pleased by the attention she had given him. As always, he and Triss had been friendly with each other. But then she started flirting with him – prudent at first, then more and more unequivocal. Eskel had been flattered and began to imagine what it would be like to be more than just a friend for Triss.

Until he realized that she didn't really care for him. She wanted to make Geralt jealous.

When she tried to seduce him, he had withdrawn from her. He could have had quick, meaningless sex with a prostitute or a woman he barely knew - but with Triss it would matter and change everything. At least for him.

He had been very close of putting aside his misgivings - he had dreamed for so long to come close to her. But luckily his mind got the upper hand. To throw himself into emotional chaos and put their friendship at stake – it wouldn't be worth it. But even though he had tried to deal with Triss like before, that time of hope and disappointment had changed his feelings for her. He still enjoyed spending time with her and saw a friend in her – and her sight still made his pulse quicken too often. But at the same time, he was aware that she was pursuing her own goals, regardless of others. As long as she was not over Geralt it would not have been a good idea to get involved with her.

That she cared so much for him during his recovery irritated him, and he was not sure about her motivation. But he didn't want to do her wrong by assuming her predictable behavior again.

If he was honest to himself, he had missed Thalia in the last few days. He could try to convince himself that this was simply because she had been around him day and night over the last few weeks, just getting used to her presence. But his power of persuasion was not strong enough.

Lambert picked up his shirt again and took a look at his needle work. Far from 'as good as new', but it would probably do ... "Thalia has just gone out. She wanted to harvest some herbs in the garden, I think."

What Lambert euphemistically called 'the garden' was nothing more than a weedy overgrown bed of medicinal plants under a small, bricked canopy that begged for attention in the outer yard, but was consistently ignored by the witchers. Vesemir had been the gardener among them. Eskel decided to take care of it soon. One more point on a long list, albeit one that ranked far behind. Further ahead, however, was the increase in food supplies for the winter. And that was exactly what Eskel wanted to take care of first. He reached for his swords and closed the strap over his chest.

"Then I'll take advantage of the good weather and get us some meat."

"Eskel," Triss warned. "Don't take on too much."

"I just want to hunt some deer, not monsters. I'll be back this afternoon, hopefully with some good venison."

Arriving in the stable Eskel welcomed Scorpion. The black stallion was visibly pleased to see him again. The animal had of course noticed his condition. Eskel ran his hand over the smooth, silky fur and spoke softly and quietly with his 'horse of destiny', as he liked to call Scorpion.

"Well, big boy, did someone take care of you when I was in bed? You look good."

He patted Scorpion's neck and the animal clearly enjoyed the attention.

Eskel heard someone approaching and judging by the light, short steps it was the person whom he longed to see anyway.

Thalia stepped around the corner of the open stable, a bundle of herbs in her hand. Lavender and Verbena, regarding to the scent. She would probably brew her sleeping tea again tonight.

She wore a green dress that, despite or perhaps because of its simplicity, emphasized her physical qualities. Her auburn hair fell open in large curls around her shoulders, single strands shone like copper in the sunlight.

Thalia approached him with a beaming smile. "Good to see you. You seem to feel better."

"I am. A little tired, maybe, but I'm back to my usual self again. I owe that to you, Thalia. Thank you for everything."

Thalia blushed slightly. "That goes without saying. After all, it was my fault you got into that situation."

"Injuries can happen with every contract. But that a client cares so much about a wounded witcher is rare," joked Eskel. "So I'll say it again: Thank you."

Eskel hesitated, looked down at the ground, and stroked his scar. "Um, well, Triss told me that she offered to send you back to Oxenfurt via portal. So ... will you leave us soon?"

"I would like to stay for a few more days and have a closer look to your library. As long as I have not found a solution to replace the mutagens, the antidote can not be used on ordinary people. Maybe I´ll find a useful approach in some of your old books. That is, if it is alright with you... "

"It'll be our pleasure. Stay as long as you like. I just hoped you would ... " He paused, hesitating. "Well, I hope you find the solution and get your professorship. You deserve it."

"Thank you."

Embarrassing silence arose when neither of them knew what to say. Eskel changed the subject. "I ... I heard that Lambert helped you in the lab. I hope he behaved well. He's not typically well-mannered."

"Oh, don't worry, he was nice to me, according to his possibilities," Thalia laughed. "Without his and Geralt's help it would have taken much longer to find my way around your lab. Lambert can even be entertaining. He told me about a few of your monster hunts. You seem to be a specialist for succubi ... "

She smiled mischievously as Eskel slapped his hands over his face. "Oh no. I don´t want to know what he said. Please don't believe any stories he tells you about me."

"It's fine, there was nothing that shocked me. Although ..."

She winked at him impishly, then turned and walked back to the main building. Over her shoulder she called to him: "I'll get back to work. By the way, the beard looked good on you."

Eskel smiled and stroked his now again smooth cheek. Should he have waited with the shave ...?

Being reminded of the old succubus story, he silently swore to himself never to drink as much - ever again. It was no surprise that Lambert had dug it out.

He watched Thalia as she made her way up to the inner courtyard.

He almost asked her to stay a little longer in Kaer Morhen. The prospect of having to say goodbye to her in a few days made his stomach drop. But what could he have said? 'I want you to stay because I like you more than I should? Because I'll miss you?' She was able to carry on her work much better in her own laboratory in Oxenfurt. What reason could there be for her to stay in a draughty, half-ruined fortress in the company of mutants and sorceresses?

Besides, he didn't think she was interested on him - not in that way. She had always treated him normally, as if he were not a mutant, not a curiosity. But that was simply because she was too intelligent and unprejudiced to be suspicious of anything unknown.

Sometimes she flirted with him, for sure, but her advances were hardly serious. She just liked to tease him. It didn't mean she was considering a disfigured witcher as her partner.

Sometimes he had thought about one of her comments - but he wanted to avoid reading too much into it. Even though he did not like to admit it, being rejected by her would be very … hurtful. He also feared she would feel embarrassed if he told her about his feelings.

But maybe she would like him to visit her in Oxenfurt next year. Then it wouldn't be a farewell forever, only for a few months. The prospect brightened his mood noticeably.

"Hey, mind if I come with you? My horse needs some exercise too."

Eskel had not paid any attention to the approaching steps, his thoughts had distracted him too much. When Lambert approached him, swords on his back, he was brought back into the here and now. Lambert's sullen expression suggested that it was not his own idea to accompany him on the hunt.

"Let me guess: Triss has incited you to come with me and be my nanny."

"Nothing gets past you!" replied Lambert sarcastically.

"Since when do you let a sorceress give you orders?"

"If it'd only been Triss alone ... Yennefer started to yell how I could dare to let you ride alone. They would have pestered me all day. Before listening to this nagging, I prefer to listen to your soft voice as you tell me about your exciting adventures on the path." Lambert's voice dripped with derision.

You can only talk shit, you great hero, thought Eskel. Just because he himself could not boast with contracts as spectacular as Geralt's, and did not beef up his stories with bragging inventions like Lambert, that youngster better not be thinking his sword made acquaintance only with drowners and wyverns. "You'd better listen properly when I tell you about my experiences on the path, Lambert. You could learn from a simple witcher like me."

Sunbeams pierced the dense foliage of the trees and fell on the undergrowth and acorns that covered the forest floor. A noise made a murmur in the twittering of birds, like the breaking of a dry branch. The deer raised its head, listened, turned its ears in the direction that the sound suggested. It hesitated, uncertain whether to run from a danger or to stay were it was. Then it decided to be careful and jumped with a long leap into the bushes nearby.

Eskel snorted in annoyance. "Very good, Lambert! Silent as always ..."

The younger witcher showed only a mildly guilty look. "Let it be. I was not keen on escorting you on your little hunting trip anyway. My head is still pounding after last night ... "

Eskel rolled his eyes. "A hangover should be nothing new to you. But thanks to you, our dinner is now up and away."

"There's enough prey around. The longer we stand here and talk, the colder my feet get. Go on."

They had left their horses in a nearby clearing and went on foot into the forest.

In search of further tracks they walked slowly through the dense bushes, Eskel ahead, Lambert in some distance behind him. Every now and then Lambert moaned softly. Last night he had probably overdone with the vodka again. Now he had to live with the consequences ...

"Damn cold. It´s not even winter and my ass freezes off. And it's not any better in our dump of a fortress. In my chamber, there is a draught out of all the wall cracks. And instead of a woman warming my bed, only vodka is left to kill the cold. Can only hope that we're not gonna run out of alcohol ... "
"Well, as always, only Geralt is fortunate enough to have his bed warmed by a lady."

"I thought that you and Thalia were already at this point as well ..."

Eskel stopped abruptly. He pressed his lips together. Not an issue he wanted to talk about to Lambert ... But if he simply didn´t refer to the comment, Lambert would continue teasing him all day.

"Thalia is not a woman who immediately throws herself at a man. She is classy. But probably you've rarely met such women ..."

Lambert snorted. "Maybe. But she did bust a gut to find the antidote for you."

"She is a good person. She felt responsible for my poisoning, even though it's nonsense, of course."

"Possible. But she has a soft spot for you. Are you really trying to tell me that you didn´t notice? What has become of the Eskel that grabs every chance he can get, huh?"

Eskel said nothing. Of course, when they spent the evenings together, especially when they had a bender, he had told his brothers about his amorous adventures - mainly to keep up with them. But he was not like Geralt, who - in spite of his relationship with Yennefer - shared the bed with every attractive woman he met.

Not that he himself had the opportunity to do so. The disfiguring scar made women stay aloof or even shudder in disgust when they saw him. Even in brothels he often had to pay a higher price than other guests.

But Eskel knew he hesitated to try his luck with Thalia for another reason. She meant something to him.

"I have too much respect for Thalia to embarrass her with intrusiveness."
"Oh, that's what they call it - respect. I always thought that was cowardice. You don´t dare, for fear of rejection. Understandable. And stupid. When she's back in Oxenfurt, you've missed your chance and will never see her again. What have you got to loose? She wouldn't laugh at you, she is too polite for that."

"And what for? As you say, she will be back in Oxenfurt soon - and I am here or on the path. She will become a respected professor at the Academy. What's she going to do with a monster slayer travelling from village to village?"

Lambert sighed. "Oh, Eskel. You're thinking too far again. One step after the other. Even if you´ll never meet her again after she returns back home - you would at least be getting some!"

Eskel swept Lambert off his feet with a well-dosed Aard bump.

Contrary to expectations, they were fortunate with hunting. It was only early in the afternoon when they returned to the fortress, a deer laid over Scorpion's saddle behind Eskel.

Eskel carried the game on his shoulder to the great hall. Triss, who had apparently read in a book by the fireplace, got up and went to meet them. "Nice that you're back. Are you alright, Eskel?"

She put a hand on his arm and looked at him slightly worried.

"Yes, everything´s fine." He turned around to Lambert. "Even though I would rather have renounced the company ...", he added only half seriously.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're back. You'll have to get used to the fact that i´ll be worried about you for a while," Triss said, smiling at Eskel.

He returned the smile - in his usual way with only one corner of his mouth - a little uncertain. "Uh ... yes. So ... I'll take care of the deer. See you later."

The booty on his shoulder, he headed for the exit to the backyard.

When Triss was about to retreat to her room, Lambert stopped her. "Merigold, let´s talk."

Triss sighed deeply - the witcher had been particularly annoying her in recent days with his constant taunts and insolence. "What is it this time, Lambert?"

Lambert folded his arms across his chest and looked gravely at Triss. "Tell me what you want, Triss."

"You should be a bit more specific."

"Your fuss about Eskel. For years you relished in his admiration for you, and ignored him otherwise. But as soon as a woman appears at Eskel's side, who could compete with you, you suddenly discover your feelings for him. The last few days you have practically spent in his room. Forgive me that I find your change of mind somewhat suspicious. Or do you try once again to make Geralt jealous?"
Anger rose in Triss. She took a deep breath. Her eyes narrowed.

"How dare you? I never understood what Keira saw in you ... but that a sorceress dumped you seems to hit you deeper than I thought. Probably because you know that you will never again have a woman by your side who stands so far above you. Now you're taking every opportunity to piss me off and to wreak your ill humour on me. You´re bugging me! Whether and what I feel for Eskel, doesn´t concern you. It´s only between me and him. I certainly don't have to explain myself to you."

"I don´t give a damn about you, Merigold. But don't play with Eskel again. He doesn't deserve that and you know it."

Triss snorted, turned on her heel and left the hall. She hurried up the stairs to the sleeping tract and shut the door to her chamber with a bang.

What did this creep dare to accuse her? As if she only was seeking self-affirmation while spending time with Eskel ...

It was true that she got carried away last winter and had taken advantage of the fact that Eskel had feelings for her.

She always had enjoyed how much attention he gave her and everytime they met he was a thoroughly pleasant company for her. And nothing more.

But this changed last winter. She had been waiting for Geralt to pay his brothers a visit in Kaer Morhen. And when he finally showed up - without Yennefer - she could not hold her feelings under control anymore. But he had behaved dismissively towards her and showed her that despite Yennefer's absence he was not interested in intimacies. Although Triss had to reckon with that, of course, it had hurt her anyway. No one had a hold on her feelings like Geralt.

When Eskel tried to cheer her up, one thing led to the other. Would Geralt look on it impassively if she turned to another? Or could perhaps his masculine honor be hurt and he would once again vie for her affection?

She had never intended to hurt Eskel, but she had to admit that she had used him only as a means to an end. And her plan didn´t succeed ...
Even though it was difficult, she had to admit that Geralt would never find his way back to her. She didn´t want to be alone all the time and mourn after him. If she gave another man a real chance ... maybe she would eventually get over Geralt.

A relationship with another witcher had always seemed like an inadequate substitute for what she'd had with Geralt for only such a short time. What now her friend Yennefer had with him again.

At least she had thought so yet. But in the last few days she had been really worried about Eskel – to her own surprise.

But did she really want him? Or was she just so eager for love that she was ready to get involved with someone else?

It was obvious that Thalia had feelings for Eskel. But if they came close to another on their journey or not ... who knew? As far as it seemed, they weren't a couple. Yet.

Thalia had plunged completely into lab work and worked until late in the night, leaving no opportunity for a quiet conversation among women.

But would it make any difference if the two got closer? Thalia apparently intended to return to Oxenfurt as soon as possible to pursue her academic career. A long-term relationship with a witcher would hardly fit into such a life plan.

And finally, the decision was with Eskel.

If she tried a little harder, it would be easy to rekindle his feelings for her. After all, she was a much more desirable woman than the alchemist.

Triss's mood suddenly lifted, her anger with Lambert was gone. Humming softly to herself, she found a new dress for the evening from her wardrobe chest, put on some Glamarye and looked in the mirror contentedly.

If she intended to, no man could resist her ...