oooOOO Revelations OOOooo

"Yes, it has everything to do with you and Father!" His words were ringing inside her head, while she looked at him with her mouth gaping in shock. She was completely stunned. She had suspected that his strange actions had been, in some small way, affected by seeing his parents marriage, but everything?! No, it just can't be that bad... It just can't be. Oh Dear Lord, help me...

He started to speak with a trembling voice, while tears ran down his cheeks. "I saw you, Mommy! I saw how you cried in the evenings when he was gone. I saw you walking down to the harbor, day after day, when it was time for his ship to return. And I saw your disappointment when it hadn't. And worst of all, I saw how you totally broke apart by sorrow, when you found out that his ship had perished and that he would never come back again! I don't want to give Penny a life like that!I want her to be happy!" She shook her head in disbelief while she caressed his wet cheeks. My dear, dear Shelly! What have you done?!

She sat in silence for a long time, while she tried to figure out how she could explain everything to him. In a way that he would truly understand. Finally, she sighed, and began to tell him. "Yes, I missed your father very much when he was at sea. But the happiness that I felt when he was home with me, made it worth all of my time alone. I loved him so much, and couldn't imagine my life without him. I knew what kind of life that awaited me, when I decided to marry him. I loved him like the man that he was, and being a Royal Navy Captain was a big part of that. If I had taken that away from him, he would no longer be the man I had fallen so much in love with." She stopped for awhile, to give him time to process what she had said, before she continued.

"Have you completely forgotten, how happy I was, when he was at home? Yes, it is true that we only had short periods together, but during that time, we were always very happy. My friends who were married to ordinary men who were always at home, all year round, where jealous of my happiness. Their marriages had turned dull and emotionless throughout the years. Yes, my world was completely chattered when his ship sunk, but I managed to handle my sorrow, because I still had you and your sister and brother. And even his all too early death, have never made me regret, even for one single moment, that I married him!" She paused again.

"I had no idea that you looked upon us like that. I'm so sorry that you seem to have misunderstood what you saw. I'm so, so sorry, my dear boy, that I have never explained this to you!" He looked into the fire again, and seemed to try to grasp what she had told him. Meanwhile, she tried to figure out how she could be able to help him. She wanted him to be happy and she hoped that there was a chance to somehow turn everything into something good.

"Did she ever say or do something, that made you believe that she may have returned your feelings?" He thought about the kiss, and blushed. "Yes, she... hm...Yes, she did." "But you didn't tell her about your feelings for her?" He slowly shook his head with a face filled with sorrow and regret. He lowered his head and swallowed several times. "So you never gave her the chance to decide for herself, whether she would want a life together with you, or not?" Another silent shake of his head.

She smiled sadly. "Oh, my dear, sweet, stupid boy! I think that you have made a really big mistake, and you seem to have realized that by yourself, now. But you should not give in to your sorrow just yet. There might still be some hope left for you, and your beloved Penny. Unless you have hurt her feelings so deeply that she will not be able to forgive you, of course. But from what you have told me, she seems like an intelligent woman, and if you explain to her why you did what you did, and make a real hard effort to earn her forgiveness, she will probably understand."

She swallowed before she continued to speak. She was going to balance on a very sharp edge now, and she prayed to the Lord that what she was about to say - for the purpose of shaking his mind into thinking about actually doing something about the mess that he had created - would not have the opposite effect on him. She took a deep breath before she spoke with a soft voice: "But then, there is the small possibility that she is already married to someone else..."

He gasped and looked at her with terrified eyes. "Nooo! Good Lord, NOOOOO!" he burst out, with a voice filled with agony, while he shook his head fiercely. He raised from the coach and started to pace back and forth, with his hands clenched into fists. "She can't! She just... She just can't be married! Good Lord! What shall I do?!" Mary looked at him with a faint smile and took a deep breath with relief. It worked! Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers!

"Shelly, dear! Calm down! I don't think that this possibility is very great, so come and sit down again, and calm yourself down." She grabbed his trembling hands, when he had seated beside her. "Now listen to me, Sheldon! She was not engaged before you met her, and it has only been two months since you parted, so even if she got engaged right after she got home, she is most likely not married already. And according to what you have told me about her, she is a rather strong and independent woman, who would hardly let her be forced into an arranged marriage by her father." He seemed to relax a little, but then he seemed to have a new, disturbing thought.

"But...But what if she have met somebody else, then? Someone she... likes..." She laughed at her son, who suddenly seemed to be so much younger than what he actually was. Oh, my dearest Shelly! Your naivety is just soo adorable right now!

"My dear, dear son! You are the most stupid boy, sometimes! Do you really think, that she would be able to fall in love again, so soon after she have fallen in love with you? And besides, if you actually would find out that she in fact do love somebody else... well, then I must say, that her feelings for you wasn't very deep and sincere, and then you two were never meant to be together, anyway!"

He processed what she had said, and thought about what Penny might feel for him. Did she love him, and if so, was her love big enough to want to live a life as the wife of a Navy officer? He thought about how she had looked like, and acted around him, after he had abandoned her. And he thought about her trembling voice when she had said goodbye.

But most of all, he thought about how she had kissed him back. How she had pressed her body against him. Those kisses must have meant something to her as well! She must have loved me... At least... a little! He felt a faint feeling of hope grow stronger. Maybe it isn't too late, after all!

ooOoo

Mary yawned widely behind her hand and squeezed his arm gently, before she stood up. "It is very late, my dear, and I really must go to bed now. I hope that I have been able to help you in some small way. Now, my dear son, you go to bed and have a good nights sleep, and tomorrow, you start trying to figure out how to find her and how you can make her forgive you!"

He totally shocked his mother, when he got up and gave her a long and sincere hug. He had not done anything like that, since he was a very little boy. Her eyes were at once filled with tears of happiness. He still had his arms around her when he leaned back and looked at her with a frail smile. "Thank you, Mommy! For... For everything! I love you!" Marys voice cracked with emotions when she answered him. "I love you too, Shelly! Sweet dreams, my dear!" She caressed his cheek before she walked away.