Ok, this is the revised version. Thank you to those of you who pointed out my hiccups, as I said before I had written this chapter before I started the story so I had to change a lot of things. I'm sorry I missed a couple of titbits. I hope this makes more sense.

Sam was let out later that day by a nurse following Janet's orders, thankful for having to face the scrutinising gaze of her best friend Sam headed straight for the locker room to get changed. Tears stung the back of her eyes; she could feel the moisture threatening to stain her cheeks as they hung at the corners of sparkling blue. She sat down on the bench in the changing rooms, not feeling even motivated enough to stand or get undressed for a shower. She ran a weary hand through her bed head hair, tugging at the knotted strands. The pain in her legs had lessened to a dull ache and the sling around her arm was restricting and itchy. How could she fully forgive the thing that mercilessly attacked her? Why should she in return show him mercy? Because he eventually saved her life? She put her head in her hand and stared at the floor, focused on her jagged breathing.

Some days pulled at her. Being a strong person was hard work; it felt like you were being stretched to carry more burdens than you were ever built for. Some days just tugged a little too much and eventually tore a little piece of herself away, a piece of mind she'd never get back.

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling willing the tears to go away or at least hesitate until she reached the privacy of an empty house. They were not going to grant her that kindness today. Some days came more often and more unexpected as she grew older and they were becoming harder and the hopelessness she felt stung her heart a little more fiercely. Some days were becoming most days.

The first tear slipped from her guarded eyes and ran down her cheek leaving a glistening surface in its wake. She shouldn't cry, woman like her aren't allowed. Woman like her were strong, independent, assertive, cold…and inevitably lonely. She still remembered the words Jack rushed at her in her pain. Did she really do all those things for him? And although he seemed to be satisfied with what he got, it wasn't enough for her but he would never do anything about it and neither would she. She let the tears come then. No one else was there; she was still isolated from the rest of the base. They had been the only team off-world, in the General's haste to find SG-1 and bring them out of their latest hiccup, the General had suspended normal gate activity and they were still getting the normal routine up and running; most of the base had gone home because of the late hour. She didn't cry loudly nor did tears spill and flow down her face, this was crying that was a necessary. She needed to cry. So like everything else in her life she did it efficiently and businesslike. Face forward in a neutral stance she let the tears trickle down her cheeks in their own time, not forcing them either way. She wasn't distraught or grieving and she wasn't upset. She was just sad.

"Carter?" The Colonel had come into the locker room! She immediately rubbed the heel of hand over her eyes stopping the tears in their tracks. Oh God! He can't come in and see her like this. "Carter, are you decent?"

"I'm fine, sir," she said and got to her feet to face the lockers, pretending to busy herself with putting things away or taking them out. Hopefully he wouldn't see her face. There was silence as Jack came in a stood behind her. She glanced past her arm to catch a glimpse of his boots limping from his recent injury.

"We've had…" he started with a clear of his throat "That was a tough mission," he said matter-of-factly "Hammond wants us to have one more check up before we go on leave today and Fraser is on a rampage so…" he stopped noticing the repetitiveness that Sam had been taking in loading her locker then unloading the same objects she had just placed in. "Carter?"

"Yes sir," Sam said finally deciding to place everything in the locker. "I'll be right there," She turned to grab her bag and shove it into the locker.

Jack caught a glance of her face, her disorderly hair and her gaunt face emphasized the shiny streaks that lined her sad expression. Her eyes were still watery. He swore his heart broke, feeling an actually physical pain in his chest when he saw her tears. It was unfair how he was kept from just kissing the tears away and holding her, all he could do was stand there. He hated feeling useless; he didn't even know how to comfort her appropriately. Closeness was not an option, soothing her would affirm his feelings, which would cause more pain. He would have to just walk away from her.

"I'll see you there," he said feeling his throat closing up in a gulp, fighting the voice that screamed at him to do something. Taking that first backwards step away from her was the hardest thing he'd had to do that year. He backed away slowly towards the door, watching her finish packing. He turned around to see Daniel walking down the corridor towards the locker room, also tired and looking unhealthily pale.

"Hey Danny," Jack said quietly. Daniel stopped and looked up from watching his steps with his usual slightly surprised/gormless expression. "Check on Carter, would you? She's in there," Jack pointed at the door.

"Sure Jack," Daniel smiled wearily.

"Get some rest Danny-boy," Jack smirked.

Daniel nodded and made his way into the locker room, he passed over to Sam in the corner and put his hand out to hold her shoulder, he whispered to her. Jack watched from the door, hiding behind the frame. Sam turned around showing the sad tears falling down her face, staining her skin further. She just crumpled into Daniel's embrace and let herself cry.

Feeling tears sting his own eyes Jack tore his gaze away from them and carried on his way towards the infirmary.