Oh my lord, all your reviews are brilliant! ;D thank you so so so much, I am so relieved I can finally write actual speech for Quil, anyway, enjoy this chapter and keep up the amazing support :D Don't worry Karu, I won't be rushing into anything, they both need time to adjust to one another :D
Anyway ENJOY!
I do not own Twilight.
"I don't hate you; I'm scared to lose you again"
The breath that was working its way up my throat stopped suddenly, choking me into a frozen state. He just spoke, as in more than whispering my name. Quil spoke to me. He actually spoke real words.
His voice was raspy, croaking like he hadn't used it in a while; he hadn't used it while I was here so I guess that had been a while. He actually spoke, my eyes began stinging as I stared at the guy in front of me; he suddenly seemed smaller, more vulnerable than before as he shuffled around. I blinked, letting moisture dampen my dry staring eyes; the breath that had caught dislodged itself and came out in a slight gasp.
"I could never hate you, so don't ever say that again" He spoke again, his paled body flushing furiously as I stared up at him, his calm eyes not leaving mine.
He doesn't hate me, although it was good to know, it didn't help explain the weirdness, how could someone who seemed to care so little about me, be so scared about losing me. As for the again bit, that was just a whole new level of confusion.
"You don't talk to me" My own voice was pathetic, a soft whisper that was covered with the shock I was currently feeling.
"I don't talk to anyone" His voice was getting stronger, the beautiful rough tone of it sending slight shivers through me, he had the most amazing voice.
"So why are you talking to me now?" The room had got warmer, the weak tiredness that had previously engulfed my cold legs had vanished and the scratching of my throat calmed.
He said nothing, he just looked at his feet; he seemed ashamed of something, guilty perhaps.
"Would you like to take a walk with me?" He looked back up, the guilt had been replaced by desperation, his eyes pleading at me, it tore my heart at how frightened he seemed.
"Of course"
He turned walking to the door without another word, whereas I began searching for a jumper of some sort, I noticed one hung up by the fridge, I think it was Sam's it was massive. I tugged it on and it fell to my knees, it was like a dress. I looked ridiculous but it was all I had so I rolled with it, walking to Quil who was now waiting at the bottom of the porch steps.
His face stayed plain as I stopped next to him, I glanced back at the dark house, everyone was asleep, it was ridiculously late. The trees were blowing in the wind and soft rustling of leaves echoed around the silent yard. Quil started walking toward the tree's, the dark scary tree's that always appeared in horror movies where girls got killed in the woods.
"Wait, you're not going to kill me right?"
Quil stopped, his head snapped around to look at me and his face was mirroring utter confusion.
"Kill you?" His brows burrowed more, making him look even more confused if that were at all possible.
"Yeah because it really would be annoying if I had battled against illness's for 16 years, be able to fight off organ failure with no drugs, jus to then be murdered in the woods by a guy who doesn't seem to age. I mean, it would make a good story, go out with a bang and all that but I umm, just don't really want to die the day I find out my organs have halted their mission to kill me" I stopped my rant as I realised the ever so slight amusement creeping onto Quil's beautiful face.
"I can assure you I am not going to kill you Claire" He was smirking ever so slightly, but his eyes seemed to be lingering on a thought that frightened him. I guessed the thought, organ failure; it frightened most people, me dying. Everyone wore that look when they found out a little girl like myself would be gone soon, a life wasted.
"And tonight, neither are my organs, so let's get going before I start thinking of horror movies involving woods" I smiled trying to lighten his internal misery. He nodded, smiling back slightly but he still looked immensely sad.
We walked in silence; it was a nice silence, as nice as silence could be anyway. But I was craving to hear his voice, hoping pathetically he would make light conversation, but knowing that he wouldn't. I suppose he had only started talking tonight, I couldn't ask much more than that.
"The cabin in the woods" Quil's soft voice broke the silence, he had a mischievous look about him as he said it, his eyes darting to me.
"You what?"
"The cabin in the woods, a scary film involving woods, there is also Last house on the left, Blair witch, and then you got the typical ones like Texas Chainsaw"
"The company of wolves" I stuttered, the horrible murderous thoughts entering my head, he was only playing, but I was damned bad with horrors.
"Excuse me?" He coughed as if choking on something, his walked halted and he turned to look at me, a little startled.
"The company of wolves? Its a crap old horror basically like red riding hood, the wolf eats people and what not, it's not really scary but my brother and his friends made me watch it when I was 5 and I've crapped myself about it since" I had stopped too, my shivering body becoming slightly scared, I had seen a wolf in La Push, what if it was here and ate me?
"Right, I haven't seen that one" He began walking again, as if trying to ignore the previous fun he was having terrorising me.
It fell silent again as we continued to walk for what seemed miles, my legs not feeling tired, my body was ache free and my heart had stopped hurting. Back home I could barely make it from my bed to the toilet without collapsing in pain, so this was truly a miracle.
"Where are we going?" The curiosity finally got the better of me as the trees began thinning.
He said nothing, just smiled, his smile was bigger than it had been, his eyes even sparkled slightly in the moonlight as he looked down at me. My heart fluttered, he was breathtaking, everything about him was just startlingly beautiful.
I realised I had been staring at him for a bit too long as I stumbled onto a different surface, my feet suddenly sinking slightly rather than pounding against harsh earth. I snapped away from Quil, looking around me, my breath stopped in my throat again, it was stunning. I was on a beach, I recognised it instantly, it seemed so familiar, then again everything about this place was familiar. The moonlight was dancing on the soft waves that hit the shore with a rumbling crash.
"This is so pretty, it would be perfect for a"
Before I could finish Quil interrupted, a smile playing his lips.
"Wedding" His voice was light, his eyes no longer filled with sadness but with memories, happy memories.
"Huh?"
"You used to say to me all the time, Quil one day I'm going to get married on this beach, Aunt Em will be my bridesmaid and Uncle Sam can carry me down the aisle because my dress will get sandy if I walk" His eyes sparkled, happier than I had ever seen him, the emotion that had never been there before danced over his face as he grinned widely.
I smiled too, the thought of a wedding here was nice, distant but nice. I probably wouldn't ever be married, for one, I wouldn't be here long enough to get married, and secondly, no one would want a dying girl. But I guess it could be a nice distant dream, something to aim for.
Quil seemed to be realising the same thing as his face dropped back to sadness, regret filling his eyes as his smile faded, leaving just a slight shadow of the happiness he had been in just seconds ago. The curious thought came into my head, wondering who could have caused this man so much pain, which had torn his world away. I could never hurt him, he seemed too precious, too vulnerable, and every inch of me was fighting the urge to grab him, hold him and tell him it would all be ok. I wanted to ease the pain he was obviously in. The person or people who had done this to him were horrible.
"We spent a lot of time together when I was little then?" I peered up at the sad man in front of me, hoping his happiness would come back. I wouldn't bring up the age thing, I couldn't, I wasn't even bothered by it right now, I just needed his smile.
"Yeah" His voice cracked, still no smile, just sadness of distant memories dashing his brown eyes.
"Were we close?"
"As close as you could be with a three year old, I used to look after you a lot" He still seemed sad, my heart was back to aching, a faint pain that could only be described as heartache.
"You were forced into the babysitting then, pulled the short straw?" I smiled, but not even that triggered a smile from him.
"No, I loved spending time with you, I was never forced into it, never" He seemed quick, frantic to answer, he was panicky all of a sudden. The ache in my heart grew but nerves fluttered my belly.
"So what would we do? Describe a day in the life of being friends with Claire Bennett?"
"Bennett?" His head snapped up, his eyes searching me, confusion seeping from him. What was with the name thing? This was the second time someone seemed confused.
"My surname?"
"It's Taylor, Claire Taylor, Claire Amarie Taylor" The name rolled so beautifully from his lips, his voice softened, he spoke with emotion, real emotion now.
"No, Claire Annabelle Bennett, not Amarie Taylor, the doctor said Emily called me Taylor too. But I've never heard it"
"Changed your god damned name" He mumbled, he seemed angry, he shook his head as his breathing got heavier. Who changed my name? Everything was becoming more and more confusing.
"Quil, it's just a mix up with names, it's fine. I want to know more about my past, if you're ok to tell me that is" I was speaking quietly, afraid to upset him more, my aim of making him mile had failed so far. I couldn't let a name mix up ruin it all. I could ask Emily later.
"I should get you back, Emily will go mad if she finds you gone" He seemed off again, his blank face was back, the scared look in his eyes was now mixed with anger and before I could protest he turned back up the beach, walking quickly toward the trees we had no long come from.
I stayed silent as we walked back, the name thing had pissed him off, or upset him, I hadn't figured out which one yet. As we reached the front porch I turned to say goodbye but he had already taken off into the trees.
"Bye then Quil, nice talking to you" I mumbled it sarcastically to myself but as I said it he stopped, his body tensing and his head snapping to the side slightly as if listening, I stayed quiet, unsure of whether I had spoken louder than I had wanted and he lurched himself back into a fast walk through the dark tree line.
I groaned, pushing myself up the steps and through the kitchen door, it was still dark and empty, the clock read 4.30am. I walked to the stairs, each step I took shot a fresh pain through me, the stairs making me weaker as I climbed, and my whole body began screaming for sleep, I had pushed myself too much. Worn myself out, I was longing for my bed.
As usual, as soon as I lay down the screaming started, this time it was quieter, not so desperate, but she still needed him, Quil. The tone to the screaming mirrored the pain in my heart, the heartbreak, the emptiness. It was like the girl was echoing my emotions, like she was me.
The girl screaming was she me? The voices, they were my mom and Emily, fighting over me and I was screaming, pleading for Quil. My heart hammered, what had happened? It couldn't have been me; I couldn't be hearing myself, all these years? But I knew it, dread flooded my body like iced water. My eyes flew open, she was me.