He found Misaki just inside the entrance to the parking garage, leaning up against a grimy concrete pillar. Her arms were folded as she stared into the middle distance - a posture that he had seen her in so many times at their clandestine meetings while he'd still been working for the Syndicate. If not for the dress, she could have been that same Misaki, waiting impatiently for his update.

Instead of that usual look of impatience though, now her expression betrayed her evident frustration.

"Hey," he said, careful not to sneak up on her this time.

Misaki didn't look up. "I'm sorry; you didn't have to follow me out. I just needed a minute."

Hei leaned against the pillar beside her, shoulder touching hers. "It's okay. It's not just you."

"It's not okay - I shouldn't have let myself get upset like that."

"I forgot my family was so traditional; I should have warned you to expect those kind of questions."

Misaki snorted. "Like I've never heard those questions before. I can handle them. But I shouldn't have said what I did; it wasn't fair to put you in that position. I just - it just made me so angry. For your uncle to accuse you like that, when he knows nothing about what you've had to go through, how hard you've had to fight! And your cousin - I get those questions all the time too, but couldn't he see how upsetting it was for you?"

"Jiang's never been all that observant," Hei shrugged. "And honestly, you're the only one who can read me like that."

"That doesn't excuse your uncle," Misaki muttered.

"I don't know. I can't really blame him for being upset."

"What? Of course you can! If he only knew what happened -"

"It would be even worse." He sighed. "I knew they would want to know everything about why I left, and where Xing is. Maybe it was too soon for me to try and come back home."

"He still doesn't have the right to demand answers from you like that!"

"Maybe. But if it were me, and I'd been waiting twelve years to find out exactly what had happened to my sister, and I finally found someone who knew…I wouldn't have stopped at simple demands," Hei said quietly.

Misaki tucked her arm under his and leaned against him. "That's different. You're his family - and you were hurt even worse by what happened. He ought to know that you would have done everything that you could for your sister. It's not like - I'm sorry, but it's not like knowing any more about what happened will change anything. None of it was your fault. He should be happy to finally see you again, and just let you talk in your own time instead of pushing like that."

"What if I never want to talk?"

"Then they'll just have to deal with that."

Hei hesitated. "Part of me wants to say that too," he said. "But …they have a right to know, don't they? And they'll still ask questions. The longer I go without answering, the worse it'll get. How long will they put up with me keeping quiet?"

"Well, obviously not long, in your uncle's case. But if they want to keep you in their lives, they'll learn to wait. Your grandfather will wait forever."

"You don't know that," Hei said quietly. Just because Grandfather had yet to ask him about what had happened twelve years ago didn't mean that he didn't have the same questions as Uncle. If he ever asked Hei directly…Hei had never been able to lie to the old man. He would talk, and then it would be over. There was no way Grandfather would still welcome him back once he knew the truth.

"Of course I do."

"How?"

She met his frown with a warm smile. "Because he's exactly like you."

"Like…what?"

"Well, I suppose I should say that you're exactly like him," Misaki continued, oblivious to his incomprehension. "I used to think that there couldn't be another person in the world with the same kind of loving patience that you have - but now I know where you learned it from."

"I'm not like him," Hei protested. "I'm nothing like him. Maybe he's patient; but once he knows - about me - Grandfather hates violence. The things I had to do to protect Xing - the things that Xing did - he won't accept that. He can't."

"I'm not saying that he would be happy about it; but I think he'd understand the choices that you made. And that won't stop him from loving you."

Hei didn't answer. He'd always trusted Misaki's judgment about people, but she was wrong. Uncle had said it himself: the Black Reaper was a cold-hearted killer who didn't belong in this world. Hei might no longer be working as an assassin, but that violence was still in him. It would always be in him.

"You never gave up on your sister. Even though she had changed far more than you ever could."

"That was different. She was my sister -"

"And you're his only daughter's son. Do you really think your grandfather would ever give up on you?"

"An idiot who thought he could save a contractor by becoming one?"

"But she did change, didn't she? Because of you? You did save her, in a way."

"At what cost?" Hei asked quietly.

Misaki didn't answer; they'd had this argument many times before. Instead she merely leaned against him, her presence doing more to remind him of his humanity than words ever could.

They stayed like that for long minutes, ignoring the traffic coming and going in the small parking garage.

At last Misaki rubbed his arm, and took a deep breath. "I think I'm okay to go back in now. Are you ready?"

He hesitated. "Is it…is it running away if we go home instead?"

"Of course it's not running away! There's nothing wrong with needing a break, after getting blindsided like this. I can't even imagine all the emotion you must have had to go through in just the past day. It's okay to take some time." She bit her lip. "It's not - I mean, it's not because of me though, is it? What I said? I didn't -"

"I'm glad you said that."

"You are? But I probably made things so much worse…"

"Misaki, no one's ever defended me like that before. I needed to hear that." He gave her a brief kiss, reminding himself once again that no matter what happened with his family, he would always have her. "Come on; let's go home."

~~~~o~~~~

Hei's eyes snapped open at a faint buzzing sound. Beside him, Misaki murmured something incomprehensible.

"It's mine," he told her with a tired sigh. "Go back to sleep."

He lifted his phone from the bedside table and glanced at the screen, painfully bright in the dark bedroom. He wasn't surprised to see that it was only two in the morning; his mind had been too restless to allow him to sink into a real sleep, and none of his mental relaxation techniques had worked. Still, he wasn't sure who would be texting him this late.

Opening the message, he read: Get your ass down here.

The phone buzzed in his hand as a second message appeared: Dumbass.

"What is it?" Misaki asked, her face pressed into the pillow.

"Jiang. He wants to talk."

Hei lay back, the phone clasped in his hand. He wanted to ignore the message, pretend like the past day had never happened.

"Now? It's so late…"

"Yeah." Hei couldn't help a small, tired smile. "The middle of the night was when we'd sneak out to fight…but it was when we talked, too." He sighed. "If I go, it'll feel too…normal. Like things used to be. And they aren't like that anymore."

That evening had been a stark reminder of that. No matter how good it had felt to train with his cousin again, to walk through the park with Grandfather - it had been a lie. And lying wasn't something you did to your own family.

"Take your knives with you; it's not safe at night," Misaki told the pillow.

Hei stared up at the ceiling, indecision knotting in his stomach. "You think I should go? I can't…I can't keep pretending like everything's fine. That's what Jiang wants. He wants me to be the same Tian that I was twelve years ago, like nothing's changed. I can't do that. But I can't tell him what really happened, either."

Still…if he couldn't talk to Jiang, then who could he talk to? At least Jiang still wanted to talk, after that disastrous dinner.

In his old life, on nights like this when he hadn't been able to sleep, he would go for a long walk in the silent city - whatever city that may have been. And if that didn't help, he would break into a gym where he could punch and kick until he nearly dropped from exhaustion.

That familiar feeling was creeping over him now; that frustration with sitting still, the desire to get up and do something, anything, to distract his mind from the painful resurfacing of old memories.

"And don't forget the potatoes."

"The…"

Hei glanced over at Misaki; sure enough, the one eye that he could see over the folds of the pillow was shut. Early in their relationship he'd had many late-night conversations that had turned out to be purely one-sided, before he learned that if her eyes weren't open, she wasn't awake, no matter how lucid she sounded. He'd never known anyone could possibly sleep that deeply before.

"I won't forget the potatoes," he told her; her only response was a soft snore.

Hei watched her fondly for a long moment. Then with a weary sigh, he got out of bed. It wasn't like he was going to get any sleep anyway. He might as well go.

~~~~o~~~~

There was no one at the front desk when he walked in through the main doors of the hotel. Which was just as well.

He hadn't brought his knives - regardless of what Misaki's sleeping brain thought, that was a little unnecessary - but he had given in to his impulse to grab the black turtleneck and black athletic pants that he wore on stakeouts and nighttime patrols. It had allowed him to slip with ease across the sleeping Shinjuku without once being spotted; but here, under the warm lights of the hotel lobby, he felt overly conspicuous.

Jiang hadn't specified where to meet; Hei didn't even know which room number was his. But he had a pretty good guess where he'd find his cousin. In any case, he wasn't about to knock on Grandfather and Uncle's door.

Instead of heading to the elevators, he turned and went down the stairs to the conference center area and the glass doors that opened to Yoyogi park. On the left was the entrance to the arena access tunnel. Jiang was sitting in front of the door, eyes closed. He wore black track pants and a gray T-shirt; a black backpack was on the floor next to him.

"Hey."

His cousin gave a visible start, his eyes snapping open. In his cotton-soled shoes, Hei would've had to make a conscious effort for his footsteps to be heard. And he hadn't felt like bothering.

"What's with the ninja outfit?" Jiang asked, narrowing his eyes. "And why the hell didn't you answer my text? I told you about the new rules."

"I didn't think I needed to answer, since I was coming here anyway."

"And what if you got jumped on your way here? Dumbass."

Not likely, Hei thought. Even without his knives, he could walk with the comfortable knowledge that the most dangerous thing in the city was probably him.

"I thought you'd be in the training room," he said, ignoring the comment.

Jiang banged on the door behind his back. "Fuckers locked it; my key doesn't work."

Hei glanced around, considering their options as that itch to fight niggled at the back of his brain.

"We could try the park I guess," Jiang said, following his gaze.

"There's a regular patrol that goes through the park; I don't have my badge on me, and I don't want to have to explain anything."

"Think we could break down the door - take the hinges off or something?"

Hei gave him a look, and his cousin snorted. "Right. I forgot I was talking to Officer Goody-Goody."

"There's a security camera right there," Hei said in exasperation, gesturing over his shoulder with a nod, "and at least three electronic keypads between us and the training room, with cameras the whole way. There isn't any security in the gym, though. Come on."

Jiang raised an eyebrow at him; when Hei didn't explain, he grabbed his bag and followed him out the doors.

Only the edges of Yoyogi park were lit at this time of night, the network of trails that wound through it dark and shadowed. Hei led Jiang around the outskirts, instinctively staying out of each pool of yellow light.

"Shit, I can hardly see you," Jiang grumbled, crashing through a bush. "Slow down."

"There's hardly any undergrowth here," Hei shot back in a dead whisper. "What are you even running into?"

"Shut up, asshole."

They reached the broad avenue that separated the park from the stadium without incident; traffic was so light now that they darted across easily.

The arena grounds were separated from the street by a shoulder-high stone wall. Rising behind the wall was a steep embankment covered in ornamental hedges with the occasional elm tree; at the top of the rise was yet another stone wall, about six feet high. Hei and Jiang strode down the sidewalk along the wall, Hei walking casually, hands in his pockets and staring straight ahead, while Jiang skulked along furtively beside him.

"Here," Hei said abruptly. They'd reached a place that was in the shadow between two streetlights and out of direct line of sight from the surrounding buildings. He paused to let a lone car drive past; then darted up and over the stone wall.

"This is worse than that damn park," Jiang griped, landing in the shrubs beside Hei. "How the hell do we get up to the top?"

Hei didn't answer. Instead he dropped to his stomach and, using the dim light filtering down from above, crawled between the trunks of the bushes.

"Are you shitting me," Jiang muttered. He gave a sigh, then sank down to the ground as well and followed.

It didn't take long to reach the wall at the top of the rise, despite Jiang's constant grumbling. They both scaled it easily and dropped down to an empty parking lot on the other side. A tall chain link fence separated the parking lot from the building itself, about forty yards away.

This was where they'd have to be careful; Hei didn't know if there was a regular security patrol here, or how often it made rounds. Keeping his back to the wall, he stalked along the perimeter.

It felt strangely satisfying to be breaking into private property in the middle of the night. He'd spent the past twenty-four hours completely unbalanced, being hit with one emotional blow after another, struggling to find a common ground between his twelve-year-old self - the boy that his family had known and still expected him to be - and his current reality.

Here, though, he was in his element. This was what he was good at; this was where he thrived. He was in control of the situation now.

A blinking orange light appeared around the edge of the arena, on the inside of the chain link fence - a security detail in a golf cart. Hei reflexively flattened himself against the wall. Jiang nearly plowed him into him; then after a moment, did the same. Hei hoped that his cousin's gray shirt was dark enough that it wouldn't stand out.

Either the shirt was camouflaged enough, or else the security guard lax in his scan of the perimeter; regardless, the cart passed by without incident.

Hei exhaled slowly, regulating his adrenaline; then as soon as the cart had continued on out of sight, he made a dash for the fence.

The fence was about eight feet high and topped with barbed wire. Without pausing, Hei leapt onto the chainlink, climbed easily over the barbs, and dropped lightly to the ground on the other side.

Jiang eyed him for a moment; then without a word he followed suit. He navigated the barbed wire with a little less grace than Hei had, but still with a familiarity that, in retrospect, didn't really surprise him.

They trotted along the curving outer wall of the arena, following the direction that the golf cart had gone. Hei counted the high rectangular windows as they passed.

"We have about fifteen minutes until the security patrol comes back," he whispered to Jiang. That was an eternity in a simple B&E job.

"Only fifteen? How do you know?"

Based on the size of the premises, the rate at which the cart had been traveling, the security of the building in general… "Just a guess," Hei said. "It's this one."

He stopped under one of the windows, exactly identical to all the others in the long wall.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Hei took a step back, studying it. A horizontal casement window; easy enough to climb through if they could get it open. There was nothing in the immediate area that they could use to climb up to it, but it wasn't too high to reach by jumping.

"Right. Then let's open up this fucker."

Hei turned just in time to see Jiang winding up his arm, a chuck of concrete clutched in his fingers. Lunging forward, he caught his cousin's wrist before he could throw.

"Someone will hear!" he hissed.

"They might not - that guard's on the other side of the building!" Jiang hissed back.

"And they'll see the broken glass as soon as they come back around."

"Only if he's paying attention - these rent-a-cops never do."

"Well, sure; but it's not worth the risk."

"It's not worth wasting the time, either!"

"This is exactly why we got banned from the movie theater," Hei muttered. "You have to think strategically - mitigate as much risk as possible. It only takes a few extra seconds."

"And that's exactly how we ended up getting chased by Mr. Ding's fucking bastard of a mutt," Jiang shot back. "Because you wanted to sit down and figure out the best place to climb the fence, instead of just running like I told you to! I still have the goddamn scar on my leg!"

"Because you didn't wait for me and just charged in."

Hei had forgotten about that little episode. It hadn't been anyone's fault that Jiang had been bit by the dog - they'd just been trying to get Jiao-tu's kite back - but Hei had still spent weeks wracked by guilt over it.

"It's a good way to get arrested," he continued. "Something I haven't managed to do yet, and I'm not about to start."

He couldn't help feeling a small twinge of pride at that; nor did he miss the flash of guilt in his cousin's expression.

"Then how the hell are we supposed to get in?" Jiang snapped, hefting the chunk of concrete.

"I just have to disengage the roto operator. Hang on."

"You what?"

Hei didn't answer. He jumped, gripped the edge of the window sill, and pulled himself up. The window was set back into the wall a mere inch and a half, but it was more than enough room for Hei to brace himself in place sideways with his toes and shoulder, his core muscles keeping him precariously balanced.

He removed a short, flat piece of metal from his waistband - knives were optional, but he never wandered the city at night without his lockpicking tools - and slipped it between the window frame and the sill.

In less than twenty seconds, he had popped the thin rod that allowed the window to be cranked open from the rotary mechanism and pushed on the glass. The hinges were set into the top; the window opened inwards with the faintest of creaks. Forty-five degrees left just enough space for a person to drop down into the room on the other side.

"They teach you that in the police?" Jiang asked, eying him.

"No," was all Hei said before slipping inside.

Jiang followed a moment later; he had the strength to haul himself up and over, but not quite the dexterity to do it prettily. He landed on the floor with a stumble and a curse, his backpack clinking.

"Huh, you really did guess the right window," Jiang said, glancing around the dimly lit training gym.

Hei used a stack of blue mats to the left of the casement to climb up and shut it - no use advertising the fact that they were there, rent-a-cop or not. "Of course I did. I pay attention."

"Yeah, yeah - it's not going to stop you from getting your ass kicked, bastard."

Without warning, Jiang aimed a roundhouse kick directly at Hei's center mass; Hei had been expecting it, however, and parried with his own kick, followed by a pivot and a sharp elbow strike to the chest. Jiang barely managed to block in time.

They broke apart; Jiang narrowed his eyes. "Since when do you go on the offensive so early?"

Hei didn't answer. Instead he waited with the deadly stillness that he'd learned in Heaven's War.

Jiang grinned. Then he launched himself into a new attack.

Hei had never held back during their midnight fights as boys. He hadn't needed to; he and Jiang were so evenly matched that he rarely had to worry about hurting his cousin accidentally. Now he threw everything he had into the fight, something that he hadn't had a chance to do since the Syndicate.

Jiang quickly abandoned the pure wushu style of sparring for far wilder, more dangerous street brawler moves. Hei wasn't sure whether he was trying to get an edge on him, or merely to keep up; neither of them had managed to land any hits in the flurry of moves.

He adapted fluidly and let his instinct take over by throwing in a mix of Muy Thai and karate and all of the other styles that he'd picked up during his days as an operative. Once or twice he had to check himself lest he deliver a blow that would do serious damage; Jiang would take immediate advantage of the opening and the tide would shift in the opposite direction.

For the first time in a long, long time, he felt the pure joy of the fight wash over him. He could almost believe that he was home again.

Jiang lashed out with another kick. Hei flipped backwards to avoid it, but his energy was finally flagging. He landed on his toes, just off balance. Jiang saw it, and lunged forward with a palm strike that would end the fight.

Would have ended the fight - if Hei hadn't grabbed his wrist and let his own momentum carry him backwards. He drove his knee into Jiang's ribs as they fell, flipping him over his head. Jiang landed with a hard oof on his back even as Hei collapsed onto the mat himself.

They lay there, head to head, gasping for breath for long moments. Then Jiang let out a barking laugh.

"Fuck, you nearly broke my ribs! What the hell kind of move was that?"

He wouldn't be laughing if he was truly hurt, Hei had to remind himself. "It's from jiu jitsu, I think. I don't really remember."

"Shit. That's cheating."

"I don't remember Grandfather teaching us to throat punch," Hei shot back, massaging his collarbone where Jiang's strike had landed, missing his actual throat by a hair's breadth.

"Yeah, well, I don't remember you ever fighting like you were actually trying to win. I thought you were fucking trying to kill me a couple times."

Hei didn't answer. He stared up into the gloom of the unlit rafters.

Jiang heaved a heavy sigh. Hei heard him roll to his feet; then a hand appeared above him, palm up. He hesitated for only a moment before grasping it and rising to his feet as well.

His cousin crossed the floor to the wall beneath the window where he'd left his backpack and sank down against the concrete. Opening the bag, he pulled out a six-pack of beer.

"I couldn't find any Tsingtao," he said, holding out a can for Hei. "This Japanese shit'll have to do."

Hei slid down to sit beside Jiang. "Don't you have a match tomorrow?"

"Don't be a fucking pussy and take the goddamn beer."

Hei took the can without a word.

Jiang took a long swig of his own beer. They sat in silence for several long minutes. Eventually Jiang said, "I tried calling Song again tonight. She still won't fucking answer. Just sent me a text saying that she doesn't want to talk."

"I guess she doesn't want to talk?"

"Asshole. I know that! But how the hell am I supposed to apologize for whatever shit she's upset about if she won't talk to me!"

"You don't even know why she's angry?"

"I mean…I could probably guess." Jiang took another long draught and added, "It might have something to do with me calling her to bail me out of jail after a fight. But I told her I was sorry! It wasn't like I could call my parents! And 'Tu would've just given me a fucking sermon."

"Did you also tell her that you wouldn't do it again?" Hei asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

Jiang gave a derisive snort. "You don't lie to the people you care about, right? Grandfather taught us that much at least."

Instead of answering, Hei finally opened his beer and took a small swallow. It was sour and hoppy, and reminded him viscerally of the benders that the Syndicate had put him through order to train him to function while severely impaired.

"It was always easier for you," Jiang continued, staring out into the empty gym. "You fucking died, and now here you are with a perfect life and a perfect fiancee. I bet you two never ever fight."

"We fight."

Jiang had seen his scars; he had to know that Hei's life had been far from perfect. He was fishing, but Hei was too afraid to rise to the bait.

"Yeah, right - I bet she just gives you an order you roll right over."

"Well, yeah. Actually, that's what our first big fight was about."

"You didn't roll fast enough?"

Hei sighed. "When we were first dating, I let her make all the decisions. What we did on the weekends, where we went to eat. Anything she asked my opinion for I just said I didn't mind whatever she wanted to do. I noticed that she was getting more and more frustrated, but I couldn't figure out why. Then one night I was making curry for dinner, and she commented that we'd had it earlier in the week. So I told her that I'd make something else if she wanted - and she blew up. Shouted at me to just make the goddamn curry and stormed out."

"Chicks, man." Jiang shook his head, cracking open his second can. "They're all fucking crazy."

"Nah. It took me a while, but I figured out what was wrong. After I asked her how I could help fix whatever was bothering her."

"So what was it."

Hei shrugged. "Misaki spends all day making decisions; some of them life or death. Then she has to come home and decide everything, even something as small as what to have for dinner? It wasn't fair to her. I really was happy with whatever she decided, but it looked to her like I just didn't care. And…I was a little afraid that if I pushed my opinions too much, she'd leave. Misaki is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't want to lose her. But keeping quiet like that was only making it worse."

"So what, now you argue with her all the time and she's happy?"

"No. I just give my opinion more often and take some of that burden off of her. And yeah, we're happy."

Jiang leaned his head against the wall. "You make it sound fucking easy."

"It's not. But it's worth it, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe. Or maybe Song really is done with me this time."

"Maybe she just needs a break. You know. Space to think?"

Jiang didn't answer. A long silence stretched away as he finished off his beer. At last he said quietly, "You are coming to the match tomorrow, right?"

"I don't know."

"Look, my dad's a dick sometimes; you know that. He didn't mean -"

"What did he mean, then? He had all day to think about what to say, and that's what he said." And he wasn't wrong.

"Grandfather was pissed; they argued all the way back to the hotel. They were still arguing when I bailed to go meet up with some of the guys. They haven't gone at it like that since the first time I got a police escort home." He paused, swirling the beer in the can. "No one ever yelled at me for that - just each other."

"Grandfather and Uncle never fight…" Hei began.

"Yeah, well. Things changed after you disappeared."

The guilt in his stomach was more sour than the beer. "I had to leave," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Fucking why, though? You let us all think you were dead - Xing too. You can't just show up again and pretend like nothing happened!"

Hei stared off into the depths of the dark gym, wishing that he could just disappear into the shadows.

"Your girl knows all about it, right? You can talk to her, but you can't talk to us? We used to be brothers, man," Jiang added quietly, as if all the fight had drained out of him. "Why didn't you come home - what the hell've you been doing all these years?"

A long, empty silence stretched out between them.

At last Hei said dully, "I'm a world-class assassin. I've been killing people."