Sorry for the delay! Life kind of got in the way, with exams and the holidays and the start of a new semester. I'm going to try to post a new chapter once a week or once every two weeks at the most. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think! Happy reading.
It's late morning, the sun isn't quite all the way up in the sky yet, but Peeta and I are making the hour and half trip to my house. We're winding around an old country road admiring the beautiful orange and red leaves. It's like a sunset in the trees. "You know, that's my favorite color," Peeta says suddenly.
"What is?" I ask, not really sure what he's talking about because I've been so worried about him meeting my family.
"Orange," I shoot him an inquisitive look. "Not, bright orange, a more muted orange, like the sunset." I look at the trees again, it is beautiful.
"Green, that's my favorite color. A deep green, like being in the middle of the woods."
We sit there in silence a moment longer still taking in the trees. I taste blood in my mouth. I had been absentmindedly chewing on my lip and I bit down too hard "Shit," I grumble.
"What's wrong?" Peeta asks me. I show him my lip without taking my eyes off the road. "Shit, Katniss how did that happen?"
"I didn't mean to, I – I guess I'm just really nervous. My family… we're not exactly… normal."
"Well, Katniss, what is normal anyway? And if you love them, and they're part of you, then they basically have to be great because you are."
He always knows how to make me feel better. I give him a light smile. "Alright then Mellark, whatever you say. We'll be there in about five minutes."
My family's house isn't the nicest in town, but it's nice enough for us. It's smallish with a large wraparound porch. My mom loves to sit out here so we have a porch swing and a few rocking chairs. Prim comes running out the bright red front door and down the three steps to meet us in the driveway. She nearly tackles me when she hugs me. "Holy shit Prim! Are you trying to kill me?" she just grins at me "I missed you too," I say grinning back. I squeeze her tightly one more time. "Prim, this is Peeta," I introduce her as I step out of her embrace. She looks so much older than she did a few months ago, her long blonde hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail and she's nearly as tall as I am now. She turns to Peeta and smiles widely again.
"Hi, Peeta," she gushes as she throws her arms around his neck and hugs him nearly as tight as she hugged me.
"Peeta, this is Prim," I laugh.
He laughs too, "It's nice to finally meet you." He's so sincere, he really is glad to meet my sister.
Peeta gathers our bags from my trunk and we make our way inside the house. We're greeted by the smell of something burning and a puff of smoke coming from the kitchen. Prim goes skipping ahead of us, "Mom, guess who's here?"
My mom comes around the corner looking slightly exasperated, but that clears up as soon as her eyes meet mine. "Katniss, I'm so glad you're home." She hugs me and eyes the beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed, broad shouldered boy behind me, "You must be Peeta," she says as she lets go of me.
"Mrs. Everdeen," he says extending his right hand to shake hers.
"Please, call me Paula," she says taking his hand and pulling him in for a hug.
"So, um, what are you burning?" I ask my mom.
"Well I was trying to make a nice lunch for you guys, but you know how my cooking is." I laugh. She never has been the best cook but her food has always been edible at least. "I don't think we'll be able to eat this." She shakes her head at the waste of food.
"Chinese?" Prim asks hopefully.
Peeta glances over at the burnt food through the glass of the oven. "I think I can fix it."
"Really?" mom and Prim ask together.
"I told you he was great." I say. Peeta blushes slightly. "I'll take our bags to my bedroom, you fix this food."
"Yes ma'am," Peeta replies grinning.
"Thank you so much Peeta, I'm sorry to have you cooking your own first meal at our house," my mom apologizes.
"No worries Mrs. Ever – I mean Paula. No worries Paula. I love to cook anyway," Peeta assures her.
I walk back down the hall to the bedroom we passed on our way to the kitchen, Prim follows me in with Peeta's bag. "You weren't joking when you said he was gorgeous," Prim giggles as we walk into my bedroom to deposit the bags. I blush a little as I smile wryly at her. My bedroom looks exactly as I left it, the small twin bed made up with my emerald green quilt. The walls a pale gray, like the sky after a light afternoon rain shower. My small white dresser sitting on the far side of the room has only an old picture of my dad, my mom, Prim, and I at the lake sitting atop it. "So did you guys talk about life and how you plan to live together happily ever after like you said you would?" she asks teasingly.
"Yeah, he wants to teach too, but he wants to teach art; but if for some reason that fails, his dad owns a bakery and he can take over ownership with his brothers."
"Wait. He has brothers?!"
"They're older, Prim," I laugh as I roll my eyes at her.
My mom walks in on us laughing, "He is so pretty, and he is so nice, Katniss."
Prim and I look at her and then at each other and we burst out laughing at her. She looks at us inquisitively until finally I stop laughing long enough to say, "God you guys, he's my boyfriend. I didn't bring him home so you guys could take him away from me!"
"Oh! Katniss! You looooove him!" Prim teases me.
"Shhhh! He'll hear you, Prim!"
The laughter in my bedroom subsides slightly. My mom speaks up, "Katniss, honey, really? You really love him?"
I look at the family picture on my dresser and remember how obvious it was that my parents loved each other. The little things they would do for each other to make life easier or better, the way their eyes lit up when they talked about each other, they could never stay mad at one another, they compromised when they couldn't agree on something. "Yeah, mom, I think I do. I haven't told him yet though, I'm not ready for that."
"I'm just glad you didn't totally shut people out of your life forever," my mom squeezes my shoulder. "Now, I should probably go see if he needs anything."
When she walks out Prim hugs me again and squeals into my shoulder, "You guys are going to make beautiful babies!" I shove her playfully and we laugh heartily before meeting Peeta and my mom back in the kitchen.
Miraculously, Peeta has saved our meal. Well, I say miraculously but I never doubted his ability. He took the skin off the chicken my mom was trying to roast and tore the meat up into chunks to make a creamy chicken and rice stew. He added some chipotle to cover any possible burnt flavor, who knew fucking chipotle would be good in chicken and rice stew. It was the best soup I've ever had in my life, aside from the lamb stew he makes.
"Holy shit Peeta, this chicken would probably be honored to be in this soup," my mom compliments him.
Peeta blushes, "Umm, thanks Paula, I'm glad you like it."
"Like it, I love it, I could actually die when I finish this bowl and I would die happy."
Prim, Peeta, and I all laugh at that outrageous comment.
"So, is Peeta going to cook tomorrow too?" Prim tries to ask quietly.
"I can, i-if you want me too. I mean, I would love to help," Peeta answers.
"That's awfully nice of you Peeta, I'm sure I can find something for you to help with. If you really want to help, that is," my mom tells him.
When we finish eating I go into the kitchen to do the dishes and Peeta follows. "No sir, you cooked, I'll clean. You know how we do." Peeta smiles at me and I can't help but lean in and kiss him.
"I know, but I just wanted to help Katniss, jeez." Peeta kids as he pulls away from me slightly.
God, I don't want him to pull away. I want him to keep kissing me, to pick me up and put me on the counter and kiss that sweet spot behind my ear. I want to rip his clothes off and honestly, I want to fuck him right here in the kitchen. But, this is my mom's house so I'll just have to wait until later.
"Hey, Peeta, are you any good at geometry?" Prim asks as she sticks her head in the kitchen.
Peeta looks nervous about being caught with his arms around me but Prim just grins at us. And I grin back. "I – uh, yeah, I'm decent. Do you need help with something?"
"Yeah, actually, if you don't mind."
"Not at all." I kiss him one more time on the cheek before he walks out of the kitchen to help Prim with her homework.
My mom comes in the kitchen to help me with the clean-up, "Is he helping her with her homework?"
"Yeah, he is. He tried to be modest and say he was decent at geometry, but he's actually really good at math." A small smile creeps across my face, one that I'm beginning to notice is always there when I talk about Peeta.
"The other one would never have done that," my mom states matter of factly.
"Mom, please, do not compare them." I set the bowl I'm cleaning in the sink to look at her, "There is nothing to compare. They are two entirely different people. Peeta is a good man, mom. Forget about Gale, he can't hurt me anymore."
"Oh, Katniss, I never thought I would see the day when you finally realized what he was."
"Yes, I know, he was a tyrant, a Nazi, a dictator, any one of those words is fitting but honestly, there is no need to continue to talk about him when he is out of my life. Okay?"
"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry," she says as she puts the leftover stew in the fridge.
"It's okay, I don't want to upset you or anything," I say as I pick the bowl back up to finish cleaning it.
"Honey, believe me, you are not upsetting me. I am so happy for you," she says as she squeezes my shoulder before going to check on Peeta and Prim.
I dry off the bowl and think about how I was probably just a raging bitch to my mom when all she was trying to do was be nice to me. I just get so angry at her for comparing Peeta to Gale, there really is nothing to compare; Peeta is a wonderful man and Gale is the scum under Peeta's shoes. The fact that I'm getting so worked up over this only reinforces that I'm pretty sure I love Peeta Mellark. I decide to go check on the geometry party that's happening at the dining room table. As I peek my head around the corner, I see Peeta explaining to Prim how to find the area of circle. I smile to myself, seeing the two of them working on math together, and doing it happily, brings me so much joy. To think, I thought I could never be happy again, that I could never feel even remotely close to the way I feel right now, that I wasn't going to let myself seems absolutely ludicrous.
"Katniss!" Prim catches me spying, "Peeta is such a good teacher! Geometry basically makes sense now!"
Peeta blushes at his compliment. "I told you he was being modest," I tell my mom as I cross to him and plant a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks for helping my little sister," I whisper in his ear.
"My pleasure," he whispers back.
"So... now that we're done with the boring stuff, do you guys want to watch a movie?" Prim inquires.
"What movie?" Peeta counters.
"I was thinking Harry Potter," Prim grins.
"Which one?" I ask her.
"The Prisoner of Azkaban, I just really like Sirius," Prim laughs.
"I think everyone just really likes Sirius," Peeta answers.
We all laugh at Peeta's comment and head to the living room to watch the movie. Peeta and I cuddle up on the couch, my mom relaxes in her recliner, and Prim sprawls out on the floor in front of the couch. When the movie ends, we're all hungry again so we reheat some of Peeta's delicious stew. It's just as good as it was the first time. After we eat I decide that I'm pretty tired so I bid everyone goodnight and make my way to my room. I hear Peeta talking to my mom about food for tomorrow. I'm sure he plans on cooking almost everything. I get to my room and shut the door behind me and peel my jeans off. Just as I grab the hem of my shirt to pull it over my head, my door creaks open. It's Peeta. He slips in and closes the door behind him. We stare at each other for a moment before he opens his arms and I cross to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest, "Thank you for coming with me," I whisper.
"Thank you so much for inviting me Katniss," he whispers into my hair. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him planting kisses along my jawline. "I really like your family, they're so welcoming and your sister is so funny."
"Yeah, Prim is great," I smile.
"You're great," Peeta replies and we both laugh at his cheesiness.
"That was probably the best line I've ever heard, Mellark."
He grins wolfishly and slides his hands down my back and lifts me easily. My mouth molds to his as he carries me over to my bed. He lays me down gently without ever breaking our kiss. He slides his hand slowly up my shirt, "Peeta," I half moan, half whisper.
"Mmm?" he moans against my neck.
"As much as I really want to continue with this, my mom and Prim are still awake, and I don't want them to not like you."
"Ok," he responds trying to mask his disappointment.
We lie there for a moment, not speaking, just listening to each other breathe, a tangle of arms and legs. I enjoy times like this with Peeta, a comfortable silence, no pressure to make or keep a conversation. When Peeta finally gets up I grab his arm and hold it because I don't want him to leave. He kisses my hand and crosses to his duffle bag in the corner of my small room. I watch his muscles ripple as he takes off his shirt and kicks off his jeans. The desire pooling in my core grows despite my exhaustion. I think he knows on a subconscious level because he looks at me and winks playfully before reaching into his bag and pulling out a pair of gym shorts and a tank top. As he dresses it's getting hard for me to hold my eyes open.
"I'm gonna go back out there with your family, I think Prim wanted to watch another movie," he says to me. I'm too tired to speak so I just nod my head slightly. Peeta presses his lips to my forehead before slipping out the door. I don't even see the door close before I drift off to sleep.
The next morning I wake to faint light from outside washing over my face. My eyelids flutter open and I lie there for a moment taking in where I am. Damn, I slept hard last night but judging by the light coming through the window it's still early. I slide out of bed and dig through my bag for a pair sweats to throw on before leaving my bedroom. I hear the unobtrusive sound of a cabinet being closed in the kitchen. I wonder who is awake as I open the door and make the short walk to the kitchen.
"Mornin' sunshine," Peeta whispers when he sees me.
I smile slightly at him. I may wake up early but it takes me a good thirty minutes to actually be awake.
He chuckles softly. "Happy Thanksgiving," he says grinning. I'm pretty sure he's excited about cooking all day. He really likes to cook, especially when it's for people he cares about. But let's be honest, Peeta cares about everyone. He's so compassionate; sometimes I feel like he's too good for me because I'm so cynical. I saunter over to him and wrap my arms tightly around his waist pressing my lips to his shoulder.
"Youtoo" I mumble without moving my mouth away from his body.
Peeta presses his lips to the top of my head and laughs quietly again. "Tea?" It's a question he already knows the answer to. It's morning, I just woke up, of course I want tea. I nod my head smushing my face against his arm because I have still not moved my mouth from his shoulder. "Ok dear, where are the pots?" he inquires teasingly. I point to the cabinet next to the stove and he pries out of my grip to grab a small pot and start boiling some water.
Without Peeta as my crutch, I decide I don't want to stand. I slide lazily onto the counter top and sit cross-legged next to the stove so I can watch Peeta. I love the way he moves about a kitchen, even an unfamiliar one, his intuition tells him where everything is and his movements give an air of confidence (which I find sexy as fuck) He opens the cabinet above the coffee maker to get me a mug for my tea and sets it on the counter next to me and looks at me expectantly. I point to the small hallway and say "Pantry." Peeta disappears around the corner and returns a moment later with a teabag, he places it in the mug while we continue to wait for the water to boil. He puts his elbows on the counter and lays his head on my knee. I place my hand on his head and run my fingers through his soft golden waves. "So…How did you sleep?" I ask still taking care to be quiet since my mom and Prim are still in bed.
"She speaks!" Peeta says playfully as he takes my hand from his hair and cradles it in his, standing back up to look at me. "I slept surprisingly well, that couch is pretty comfortable."
I smile at him. "I'm sorry you have to sleep on the couch. I can sleep with Prim so you can sleep in my bed if you want." I'm awake now.
He shakes his head, "No, seriously, it's fine. The couch is actually comfortable. Much better than that lumpy thing you have back at your place."
I grin knowing he's right. He notices that the water has started to boil in the pot and turns the eye off. Peeta carefully pours the water from the pot over the teabag and moves the mug to the other counter so it is out of our way while it brews.
"So did you and Prim watch another movie after I passed out last night?"
"Yeah, we watched The Chamber of Secrets"
"You guys kind of went out of order, didn't you?"
"Well, yeah, I guess we did. Sirius Black was our number one Priority, but neither of us wanted to watch The Order of the Phoenix because we didn't want to watch him die. So we decided to watch the charming Gilderoy Lockhart."
"Good ol' Gilderoy, he is a charmer." I grin at him and he turns to the other counter to finish making my tea. "Just like you Mr. Mellark, making my tea and all that jazz," I quip.
"Anything and everything for you Miss Everdeen," he bows as he hands me my tea.
We laugh together. I cover my mouth still trying to be quiet. "What will we be eating on this fine day?" I ask, trying to sound as charming as possible
"Roasted turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, cheese buns, and pumpkin pie ma' lady."
"Oh yay, cheese buns, that's what I'm thankful for."
Peeta laughs at me again as he begins bustling about the kitchen getting things ready to be cooked. My mom comes into the kitchen her long blonde air tied in a knot on the top of her head. She wipes her eyes blearily as she pours herself a cup of coffee. "Good morning you guys," she smiles at us.
"Good morning," we chime at her.
"How did you sleep, Peeta?" my mom asks him.
"I slept well, your couch is quite comfortable. Thank you." Peeta smile genuinely at her.
"Good," she says matter-of-factly. "How about you Katniss?"
"Slept like a freaking rock, I don't think I moved at all last night."
"Well that's good dear," my mom replies. Her voice is slightly distant, she's distracted. She's watching Peeta move gracefully about the kitchen like he's lived in this house his whole life. "Peeta, do you need any help honey?"
"Oh, no ma'am," he says glancing up from the bowl he is mixing things up in. "It's Thanksgiving, take the day off."
A look of contemplation crosses over her face, I know she really wants to help. But finally she reluctantly says, "Well… Alright. But if you need any help let me know."
While Peeta continues to cook and my mom watches the news, I decide to take a shower. By the time I've dressed and braided my hair, Prim is still asleep but Peeta has made some Cinnamon muffins. They're delicious as always. I look out the window and realize what a nice day it is outside. Since I am of no help in the kitchen I tell my mom and Peeta that I'm going into the woods to find some wildflowers to make a center piece for the table. Before I walk out the back door I wrap my arms around Peeta's waist and press my lips softly to his neck. I love you. I think it, I don't say it. Not yet. Instead I ask, "How long do I have?"
"Four hours," he responds with a kiss to the top of head.
I love being in the woods, my dad used to bring me out here when I was little. It's so peaceful. I learned long ago to creep through the woods without making sound, I don't spook the animals I can walk right up to them. I used to hunt. I was a good shot with a bow. Now I just like to watch the animals in all their majesty. I walk for about an hour in the woods behind my house before coming to the open field I used to love so much. It's still bright green despite the fact that it is almost winter and everything else is starting to look dead. Perhaps it has something to do with the small pond that is here. Its clear cool water beckons me to sit near its edge. The ground is cool and hard; I take off my shoes so I can feel the lush grass between my toes.
This time a year ago I was in a pretty dark place. I was still with Gale and I was hurting my family. And for what? Some guy I didn't even who treated me like shit but I wasn't strong enough to leave; because a part of me felt like I deserved the way I was being treated. The longer I sit here and think about it the more I feel angry tears burning the backs of my eyeballs. The first one sears my cheek and I shake my head trying to erase the memories from my head like an Etch-A-Sketch. I'm getting better now. I've got Peeta. And my family. And a few good friends. Yeah, I struggle with a positive self-concept and a positive body image, but it's getting better. I'm getting better. Stronger. And you know what? It's not because of Peeta or Prim or Johanna or Annie. It's because of me. Sitting in the middle of this field, on the edge of this pond, on this mild Thanksgiving Day I had the realization: I'm the hero of my story, not anyone else and I don't need to be saved. I get to write this story page by page. I make decisions for me based on what's best for me. Having people I care about makes taking care of myself easier sure, but I'm not living my life to please anyone else. Not again.
Feeling better about myself I lie back on the fluffy green grass and close my eyes. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down. What I just realized is hard to follow through with all the time and it kind of sounds selfish, but it's not. I have to take care of myself to take care of the people I love like my mom and Prim and Johanna and Annie and Peeta. My eyes shoot open, I definitely just included Peeta in the people that I love. "Holy shit," I whisper. I've got to tell him. It feels pretty cliché to tell him on Thanksgiving and it might be awkward to tell him around my mom and Prim. I'll tell him when we get back to school. I inhale deeply finalizing my plan. I lie on the grass a moment longer before sitting up and examining my surroundings for wildflowers, that was the purpose of this trek after all. I slide my shoes back on and gather an abundant handful of flowers before heading back to the house.
"Katniss! Did you have a nice walk?" Prim asks as I walk in the back door.
"I did. You finally woke up I see," I tease her. She sticks her tongue out at me. "Can you get me one of mom's fancy vases please?"
"Yes ma'am," she grins.
I turn to Peeta, "Mmmm it smells delicious in here."
"I'm glad you think so," he comments as he quickly presses his lips to mine.
Prim dramatically clears her throat as she comes back into the kitchen with the vase. I laugh at her as I take the vase from her and put the wildflowers I collected inside. I add a little water before taking it to the dining room and putting it in the center of the table. The yellow, orange, and blue wildflowers look especially bright against the beige walls of the dining room.
"Oh, Katniss those are beautiful!" my mom calls from the living room.
"You're welcome." I say smugly. "What are you doing in here?" I inquire as I cross the hallway into the living room.
My mom points at the TV, she's watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Usually, she is cooking and she doesn't get to watch the parade. She seems so excited to be able to watch it today. "Look at those giant balloons, doesn't that look like so much fun?"
"Yeah mom, it looks pretty cool," I smile.
"Katniss!" Prim calls me from her bedroom
I go to her bedroom and throw myself on her unmade bed.
"So I'm completely in love with your boyfriend," she blurts out to me.
"Yeah me too," I say quietly.
"Ohmigosh, Katniss! You have to tell him!"
"I will but I'm waiting until we get back home. I don't want to make it awkward by telling him around you guys."
"I get that, it makes sense. It should be like a private thing. But, he loves you too Katniss. I can tell by the way he talks about you."
"I know, he's so good to me. I almost can't even believe it. It's almost like some kind of fantasy romance out of book."
"A book. Not a movie."
"Definitely not a movie," I look up at her grinning. "Boys in books are the best."
We both laugh heartily, our whole bodies shaking. Peeta appears at the door, smiling at the sight of us looking like fools.
"Hey guys, all the food is ready. Are you ready to eat?"
"Yes! I am starving! And I'm so excited because you cook like a god!" Prim yells in the direction of the kitchen.
I guffaw and I hear what sounds like a spit take from the kitchen. As we sit at the table in the dining room my mom comments, "Prim is right Peeta, you do cook like a god."
We all laugh again. This is the happiest Thanksgiving I remember having in years. We almost seem like a whole family again. I just wish dad was here for this. He would've loved Peeta. Once our plates are overflowing and we've been eating for a while Prim suggests that we each take turns sharing what we're thankful for.
"Since it's your idea, I think you should go first," I tell her.
"Okay, well…I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about Geometry anymore and that you're here having Thanksgiving with us and you're actually smiling, you're actually happy."
"Well, I'm thankful to be happy and strong and for the best Thanksgiving in a while, and for Peeta being here and cooking all of this amazing food, especially these freaking cheese buns." I say smiling, looking around the table at Prim, my mom, and Peeta. Peeta blushes slightly.
My mom goes next chiming, "I'm thankful for having the day off to spend with my girls," and then looking at me, "and I'm thankful to have my daughter back." Her eyes glisten with tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.
"I'm thankful to get to spend Thanksgiving with this wonderful family. Thank you all for being so welcoming. You've really been fantastic."
Peeta and I make it back to my apartment the next evening just before the sun sets. As he carries our bags up the stairs, I poke my head in Haymitch's shop to let him know we made it back and everything went really well. When I get upstairs, Peeta is sitting on my lumpy little loveseat. He looks exhausted, that feeling of want pours over me again. I straddle his lap and press my lips to his urgently. His hands reach up to hold my jaw and work their way into my hair. He moves his lips to the sweet spot behind my ear. I hear a faint as I arch my back pressing myself closer to him. I feel his excitement growing between my legs and rock back and forth slightly. My hands start fumbling with the button at the top of his jeans. His cock springs free and he begins to try to take my top off. I shake my head at him and slide off of his lap and get on my knees in front of him.
"Katniss.."
"Shh." I cut him off
I kiss the tip of his cock as I place my hand around the base. I work my mouth up and down it slowly at first while adding pressure with my hand. Peeta hisses and I build up speed. I feel his legs start to tremble. He brings his hand to the back of my head to make sure I'm not going anywhere. I squeeze a bit harder and swirl my tongue around the tip of his cock as I look up at Peeta. "Oh god" he moans and his hand tightens in my hair. I continue to move my mouth slowly up and down until his last spasm.
"God Katniss, that was amazing," Peeta says as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
"You're welcome," I retort smugly. "Peeta, there's something I need to tell you…"
"What is it?" he asks suddenly looking serious and concerned.
I hesitate for a moment and then, "Iloveyou." I blurt it out before I can convince myself not to.
Peeta looks shocked. His bright blue eyes glowing as his shock turns into my favorite smile, " I-I love you too, Katniss." His lips meet mine for a moment before having to break for another smile. He lifts me and carries me over to my bed. We don't sleep all night.