Chapter 13

-The present-

"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?"

Sam found Elizabeth outside in the stable grooming one of the horses. The dapple grey stallion stood an imposing 17 hands high dwarfing the petite Elizabeth. He watched as in a sweeping motion she ran the body brush down the flank of the horse and after a few strokes would clean the brush on the metal currycomb she held in the other hand. The horse's ears twitched in Sam's direction followed by an impatient stomp and shift of weight.

'Is that coffee I smell?' Elizabeth turned to face Sam who was leaning up against the frame of the door holding a coffee mug in each hand. She stopped grooming, gave the horse a brief pat on the neck and walked over to Sam.

'Yes' he answered, stretching out his left arm to offer her a mug with steaming coffee 'Amelia sends it'

'Oh, she is finally talking to you' Elizabeth grinned whilst holding the mug under her nose and inhaling the strong aroma.

'If grunting counts as talking…then yes' Sam recalled how the old nanny had thrust the coffee mugs into his hands as he entered the kitchen looking for coffee himself, grunted and with a matching hand movement shoved him out the door towards the stables.

He moved over to sit down on the hay bales lined up against the stable wall holding his mug between two hands and letting his gaze travel the length of the stable to finally rest on the horse.

Elizabeth watched him silently, sipping from the coffee waiting for him to talk.

'He is a lovely animal, Elizabeth. What's his name?'

Elizabeth joined Sam on the hay bale next to him turning her body to face him tucking her right leg under.

'His name is 'Shadowfax' and he was a Birthday gift from Andrew St John a few years ago.'

'Shadowfax as in Lord of the Rings…?' Sam arched an eyebrow.

'Yes, Andrew loves his Tolkien. Good to know that your schooling didn't suffer too much with your life on the road'

Sam flashed her a wistful smile.

'I loved reading as a child. Just ask Dean. He had to take me to the library in each new town we rode into and I would spend hours reading while Dean would pass the time picking up girls'

Elizabeth's smile faded from her face at Sam's recollection of his childhood years.

She reached over to Sam, softly placing her hand on his left arm.

'You know there are not many things I regret but had I known that your dad would turn Hunter, drag you boys all over the country with no real home and raising you to be Hunters yourself…I would have taken up St. John's offer to take you with me to England and looked after you myself.'

Sam placed his hand over hers and gently squeezed it.

'Elizabeth, no don't…I have made peace with dad and the life we had on the road. It took some time but I understand him now and what he was trying to do. Anyway, do you really believe the Circle would have welcomed me?'

'Yes, together with Andrew I might have made it work. At the time I didn't understand how influential my position as first daughter is. Of course we then believed that Azazel was bound for eternity removing any threat from his sinister plans…'

'So how did he get out then?' questioned Sam.

'The death of my father gave us the first indication that something was very wrong but only once a pattern developed in the killings did we realize that a demon must be responsible. In late 2004 Andrew and I traveled to the place in California where we had left Azazel so many years ago and found the bowl shattered into many pieces on the ground. We knew then that the unthinkable had happened. Azazel was walking the earth again and had begun to hunt down all those associated with the Campbell family, those most likely to be able to thwart his plans. The Circle fell into a panic. Too late did the scholars realize that they were ignorant about an important detail of the binding ritual. At the time of the sacrifice Jeremiah was seventeen years old just a few months shy of eighteen, so his life blood bought us only seventeen years. In 2001 the spell broke and Azazel was freed to continue his plan. My father was his first victim.'

Elizabeth took a sip from the cooling coffee lost in thoughts about the past.

'I stayed at the old family mansion under the cover of running a B&B. My grandfather had moved to the old Homestead in Wyoming too old and broken to want to join the fight. Andrew had mixed success in contacting old family friends, warning them and in some cases helping them to disappear. The deaths continued though. I began to track you boys and your dad. Whenever Andrew would locate him and get there, he was long gone. He was a damn good Hunter. I began to spread rumors at the various Hunter's watering holes, vague enough not to attract too much attention but John Winchester would know that the Yellow Eyed Demon had returned.'

'He must have gotten your messages because he left Dean and went off on his own'

'Your dad was like a ghost.' Admitted Elizabeth 'Bobby wasn't able to help much as your dad had broken off communication with him a few years prior, but he knew that you had gone to California to attend college. It was easy to locate you with that information. St. John drove to California planning for you to come home with him. Then he saw you and Jess together and you were doing so well at school so I couldn't bear to destroy the normal life you had built. I asked a close family friend to keep an eye on you with the intention that she would pull you out if the situation ever warranted it…'

Elizabeth chuckled softly before continuing.

'Do you remember the old lady down the hall of your apartment, the one who would always bring over cookies for you and Jess…?'

Sam shook his head in disbelief at Elizabeth's confession.

'Old Mrs. Grandly?…that nosey neighbour? She drove me nuts when she would pop in at all times of the day and night, but Jess had a soft spot for her.' His thoughts lingered with the happy memories of the past.

'Well you didn't know her in her youth…she taught me all about self defense and even at her age would have been capable of teaching you a thing or two' smiled Elizabeth

'You know I probably wouldn't have gone with St. John anyway. I was so angry with dad and at the time I wanted nothing to do with hunting. I would have thrown him out just like I nearly did Dean when he came looking for me.'

Sam drank from his coffee and leaned back against the stable wall. California and college was so long ago that it seemed like a lifetime.

Elizabeth took a deep breath before continuing. 'I came to Jess's funeral wracked with guilt that I hadn't interceded earlier but I admit I never saw this move coming from Azazel.'

Dark shadows crossed Sam's face at the mention of his girl friend's tragic death.

'But you told us yesterday that you hadn't seen us after you left us with dad?' queried Sam.

'Sorry, but you both showing up took me by surprise, too and at the time I wasn't sure how much I could tell you.' apologized Elizabeth

'Anyway, I observed you and your brother together and knew Dean would look out for you while Andrew and I continued our hunt for Azazel. We had finally managed to get a message to John and when he rang back he refused to join us, preferring to go at it on his own. Your dad was the wild card we couldn't control. The Circle was trying to piece together what Azazel's agenda was when your father died.'

'Why did you not come forward and confide in us? We sure would have appreciated your help.' Memories of that difficult year came flooding back and Sam could feel the pain and grief starting to surface. The death of his father had been hard enough but he had nearly lost Dean, too and he had never felt so alone in his life.

'We were under orders not to interfere until it became apparent what Azazel's plan was.

Oh, believe me it wasn't easy and secretly I continued to keep tabs on you with Bobby's help.'

Sam swore softly under his breath. He couldn't believe Bobby had never told them about Elizabeth.

'No, don't blame Bobby, Sam…he didn't know who I was in relationship to you and Dean. When I sent your dad to him, all he knew was that you were a family in trouble that my dad Robert had helped out like we had him and other hunters before. He actually became very protective of you both in these last years and it took all my skill to coax any information from him.'

Elizabeth saw the tension slip away from Sam's face.

'In the end it all happened so fast…, your disappearance, your death leading to Dean's deal…whatever Azazel's plan was, it had been set in motion and I was helpless to stop it.' Her pain of failure echoed in her voice.

The ringing of Sam's cell phone interrupted Elizabeth. Reluctantly Sam fished it out of his pocket and held it up against his ear.

'Yeah….in the stable' Sam listen intently to the voice on the other side for a minute 'Okay' and flipped the phone shut.

Stillness lingered for a few moments before Sam spoke.

'Dean is keen to get going again. He wants to check out the old Campbell homestead in South Wyoming.'

Elizabeth leaned back, a soft sigh escaping from her lips. Time was up. There was so much more she needed them to know but it would have to wait.

'Well, then we have plenty to do before you leave. I need to give you the bank details for your accounts, your new IDs and the addresses of hunters and civilians working with us if you need help…'

'Bank accounts…IDs?' queried Sam

'Yes, no more need for credit card fraud, gambling or any of Dean's other talents.' Elizabeth replied 'You now have the financial means of the Circle behind you and of course the inheritance of this house and monies left by my dad for you. Don't worry as the IDs and accounts are untraceable. If you ever need anything just contact me. There are also a few manuscripts I want to show you and Dean with references towards the Apocalypse which may come in handy…'

'Speaking about manuscripts…Castiel has spent most of the day in your library. I have never seen him quite so animated. He still believes finding God is our best hope' added Sam

'I hope he finds what he is looking for. Every document that the St. John's Circle has collected over the centuries was copied and brought over for Andrew's and my use. There is also a small library at the homestead, mostly Campbell history. This reminds me, I need to contact the care taker of the Homestead so he'll give you the keys.'

Elizabeth stood up, tipping out the last bit of coffee on the ground before walking across to Shadowfax and after releasing the slipknot tethering him, she slapped the horse on the rear encouraging it to walk out into the paddock.

She continued businesslike:

'Mellee will pack a food basket for you while I'll restock your first aid kit from my medical supplies. Before you leave you are welcome to any supplies from the armory.'

'Elizabeth…' the waiver in Sam's voice made her turn around. Sam who was still sitting where she had left him took a deep breath before asking:

'Did you ever regret saving my life…I mean, maybe your grandfather was right with his suggestion to kill me and the children like me. All the pain and suffering because of who I am and who I may become…your brother Jeremiah's sacrifice…' Sam's voice broke and he fell quiet lost for words to express his guilt and sorrow. His hazel eyes sought out Elizabeth's and she could see the tears welling up. She walked back towards him, shock reflected in her face.

'Hell, no Sam, never, never believe that your death would have been of any benefit. Then or even now!'

Elizabeth's voice echoed urgency intended to make Sam understand.

'The coming of the Apocalypse, the confrontation of Good and Evil is unavoidable, it is written, so it will come to pass…but we have managed to stack the odds in our favour…'

A slow smile appeared on Elizabeth's face as she continued.

'Have faith… Nathanial lead two powerful and noble lineages together in the St. John's through the Campbell's and the Winchester's resulting in Dean's and your birth…the perfect vessels for Michael and Lucifer, or so it appears but you both possess a strength and determination mixed with a depth of love for your family and a willingness to sacrifice beyond what has been seen before. I fear Michael and Lucifer are in for a surprise with you two!'

'Are you implying that once taken as vessels we will be able to make a difference?' Sam's eyes had widened in disbelief at this suggestion.

'I know this to be true. How did you think I was able to take Raphael by surprise when I confronted him with the Palmer that fateful night? Jeremiah knew the lore of the gun, knew what it was capable of and still he blinded Raphael to the knowledge. If anybody can exert control over Lucifer or Michael, then you and Dean are the most likely of your generation.' replied Elizabeth softly.

'Michael and Lucifer keep insisting that we will agree to become their vessels, but this will never happen. Dean and I will never submit, never…!' hissed Sam with defiance.

Elizabeth stepped closer to Sam and gently cupped his face in her hands looking him straight in the eyes before answering.

'Sam, you will accept Lucifer because Dean will ask you to!'