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Soulmates Challenge: You can take away some of your soulmate's pain for yourself. Prompt: Knitted Blanket

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Just A Touch

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked, keeping a safe distance from Remus.

Remus nodded his head. "I am," he murmured. "I just need a day or two to recover."

"I could… I could sit with you, if you'd like?"

Fear flashed across Remus' face before he shook his head. "No. I just want to be alone. Thanks though." He hobbled over to his bed and reached for the mustard yellow blanket his mother had sent him to Hogwarts with when he first left home, Sirius following but maintaining the few steps distance. He stood there as Remus got into the bed and pulled the curtains shut, before sighing.

He suspected that Remus knew of his feelings and that it was the reason why his best friend had been acting weird for weeks. When Remus turned sixteen back in March, Sirius had gone over the top with presents and had been a little too cuddly, which Sirius suspected put Remus off him.

After that, when he tried to touch Remus when slinging an arm over Remus' shoulder or when checking Remus' arm to see if it was broken, Remus would flinch at his touch and pull away, leaving Sirius certain that the love of his life was disgusted by his crush.

It didn't stop him trying.

...oOo…

Remus was woken by an emergency visit by Charlus Potter. He yawned as he headed outside, still in his pyjamas, his parents looking on nervously. Remus wasn't sure what Charlus had said to them, but they had insisted that Remus not even stop to get dressed.

Charlus took his arm and apparated them.

Remus followed him into the house, his slippers getting soggy from the wet grass, and he took them off just inside of the door as Charlus turned to him.

"Sirius is hurt," he said, bluntly. "Now James told me that you're his soulmate and we really need you to help him."

James appeared in the doorway, shooting Remus a small smile, but Remus could see something serious in his expression.

"I can't do anything," Remus said, looking between them. "If he knows the truth, he'll hate me. He'll hate me because he's stuck with me and not someone more suitable… more worthy—"

"Remus, it's three a.m. and we're both exhausted. Sirius needs you," James snapped. "His mother is batshit crazy and… he's not in a good way. You might be the only one who can help him… or we could bring him to the hospital and hope that they can."

"Hope that they can?" Remus followed James. "How bad is it if you're not even sure if the hospital can help?"

He paused in the doorway of the bedroom. Sirius was sitting on the floor, his head in his hands as he rocked back and forth. James walked over and Sirius froze, deadly still.

"Sirius," James began, reaching for him. Sirius whimpered and pulled away. "Remus is here."

Remus moved next to James and looked at Sirius. The other boy's eyes were glassy and unfocused.

"Cruciatus," James whispered. "He's not seventeen yet so if we take him to the hospital, his parents could get him back. Mum's trying to get around that now. Look, you're scared of him knowing but stop being selfish and touch him and take this pain away."

"Will it be enough?" Remus realised James was right. He shuffled closer and ignored Sirius' nervous intake of breath and grabbed Sirius' hand.

"I hope so," James murmured. "Together I think you can handle the pain and you can help him heal."

Remus gasped, falling forward as agony shot through his body. He tightened his grip on Sirius' hand as tears welled up in his eyes.

He felt like he was about to die.

He felt James' hands holding theirs together and he was grateful. The pain was tempting him to pull away, as much as he didn't want to. Through the pain, he shuffled slightly closer to Sirius, resting his head against Sirius' revealed shoulder where his t-shirt had slipped down.

For Sirius, he told himself over and over. If this was half of Sirius' pain, how was Sirius still alive?

An hour passed before the healers turned up. Unable to find a way to get St. Mungo's to accept Sirius under guardianship of the Potters, the Potters had directly contacted the Mind-Healers and asked them to come and look at him privately.

Remus could barely make out what was going on because the pain was overwhelming him, but he caught enough to know that a private specialist was going to be there as Sirius' personal doctor the next day, but the healers would handle that night.

He felt James pulling him up from the floor and he clung to Sirius. The light hurt his eyes and he closed them tightly. Three different sets of hands guided them onto the bed in the room and as the minutes passed, the pain eased up a little and a little more until Remus could breath properly again.

It was the level of pain that Remus was used to so he closed his eyes, pressed a little closer to Sirius and let himself drift off to sleep.

...oOo…

"Remus?"

Six days had passed and Remus had barely left the bed. He only moved to use the bathroom, wash, and change. He made sure to keep a hold of Sirius whilst eating in bed one handed, whilst Dorea spelled away any crumbs.

"Sirius. You're awake!" Remus exclaimed.

"My head hurts," Sirius whispered. "What happened?"

"I think you should talk to your healer for that," Remus said. "I have to go to the loo, I'll be right back." He moved off the bed and staggered to the bathroom nearby. The pain was still there and the move from pain to no pain at all left his head spinning.

He used the loo and washed his hands before returning to the room. Sirius stared at him, shocked.

"Don't ask," Remus murmured, slipping into the bed and reaching for Sirius.

"We're both topless. Are you trying to seduce me?"

"I kept letting go of your hand. It was agreed that the more skin, the better. James suggested we cuddle naked but Dorea decided that wasn't the best idea."

"I'm not against cuddling naked. So… do you still hate me?"

"Hate you?" Remus cuddled up against Sirius and winced at the pain that shot through him as Sirius sighed in relief as it flowed from him. "Why would you think I hate you?"

"Because you always flinch when I touch you and try to stay away from me. But you're here, so you can't hate me as much as I thought."

"You thought I hated you." Remus sighed. "Sirius, no. I was scared that if you realised that I was… your soulmate, I feared that you'd hate me. When I saw you… when you were hurt, James told me I was being selfish and he was right. I should have told you because all I've done was hurt you by keeping it from you."

"It's okay," Sirius whispered, turning over in the bed. "Lay on your back, will you?"

Remus moved and Sirius quickly cuddled into his side, his head resting on Remus' shoulder.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Only if you don't flinch next time I touch you," Sirius murmured. "I think you've suffered enough too. After all, if I had known, I'd have forced you to hold my hand after each full moon. I'd have found a way to be in there with you so you wouldn't face the pain of the transformations alone."

"No, I don't—"

"I'm your soulmate so I don't think you get a say," Sirius replied with a tired grin. "How about you start letting me into the Shack once you transform back at least?"

Relieved that Sirius wasn't going to try and be there during the transformations was such a big relief that Remus had to agree with the demand.

Sirius, meanwhile, made a mental note to discuss with James about being an Animagus. There were just a couple of stages left and then he could share Remus' pain in the shack as well as out.

"Don't you want breakfast?"

"And give you the chance to change your mind on the cuddling? Not going to happen."

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