~A/N: Hey hey!! yet ANOTHER late update... Sorry guys!!! It's just that between exams and having a life... updates can be late! lol... well, enjoy! ~Feathers of the wind~*

Could this be love?

Chapter 14: Why is heaven my hell?

Hitomi awoke feeling the sun's bright rays of sunshine extend to her like golden fingertips. She cracked her eyes open just a little bit, and her eyes took in all the destruction from the previous night. Covering the once-green-field, lay bloody bodies, melted guymelephs and well... more dead, bloody bodies. She looked to her side, feeling the tears come to her face again. Although Van was not completely covered in blood, he was indeed dead. She looked into his face, and saw her was smiling slightly. At that, Hitomi did smile a little.

"At least he's probably with his family... a family he lost so long ago. He deserves them." Hitomi sighed, her voice cracking a little. Her throat was dry but she didn't care right at the moment. She was worried about what to say when she got back to Fanelia.

Umm.. yeah. Well, you just lost your King because he saved me... but that's ok, right? Hitomi could just picture it. She looked down at their hands, which were still held together. She sat up and tried to drag Van's lifeless body over to the Escaflowne, where she would attempt to fly back to Fanelia. She gently pried her hands away from his, and held the pendant in front of her.

I wish we could go back to Fanelia... Hitomi closed her eyes and awaited the blue light.

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Hitomi, Van and the Escaflowne appeared in front of the Palace. Everyone rushed to see what happened. She saw Merle.

Oh no... here it comes... I am in so much trouble. Hitomi winced.

"Hitomi!!!! You're back!!" Merle was smiling her face off, but Hitomi wasn't smiling at all.

"Hitomi... what's wrong? W-where's... L-lord Van?" At that, Hitomi had to bow her head down and walk back towards the Escaflowne. Merle gasped, and ran to her foster-brother's side.

"Lord Van? LORD VAN!!!!!" Merle shrilly screamed. She turned back to Hitomi.

"What happened?! How come Lord Van isn't responding?!" Merle already knew the answer, but she just didn't want to admit it. Hitomi still didn't look Merle in the eye.

"Damnit! I asked you a question! ANSWER ME!!" Merle cried, grabbing Hitomi by the shirt. One look into Hitomi's waterlogged emerald eyes and she knew.

~~~~**********************~~~~

He was floating in air, even without his wings. He looked around... the place looked happy enough.

"nope.. I guess I'm not in hell..." He saw Fanelia... well, the old one, anyway. Van landed onto the ground and started to walk around. it was quiet, and peaceful. Although he knew he was dead, he half expected to see Hitomi around the corner... as if the battle was just a nightmare. Instead, he saw his....

Mother... Father and Folken. They were all sitting at a table in the courtyard, but the moment they felt his presence, they looked up.

"F-father? Mother? Folken?" Van could hardly believe it... his family was all together. He walked slowly towards them, as if he were afraid they were frauds.

"Van! Oh my son, I have missed you so!" Van's mother came up and embraced him tightly, crying a little. Van's father placed his hand on Van's shoulder as he spoke with pride.

"You have grown into a fine man and king, my son." Van smiled, and waited for Folken to say something. All he did, was open his arms while smiling gently.

Van ran into his brother's arms... his 'real' arms. Van for once, felt whole... complete. But that feeling didn't last long.

"So... I'm dead, aren't I?" Van bluntly stated. His family nodded sadly. Van heaved a sigh, he would never again see Hitomi... never hold her, or even talk to her... until she's dead, that is.

"Van... we know you miss her. You will see her again! You two are soul mates." Van mother comforted gently. Van managed a weak smile, then walked silently away.

He realized that he couldn't have his family and Hitomi at the same time... he was brought here to choose. What should he do? Have the family he's missed for 15 years? or the love of his life, his soul mate, his Hitomi?

he looked up at the sky, and closed his auburn eyes to just let it all sink in.

"Why is heaven my hell?" He silently asked, not expecting an answer.

~*A/N: Sorry for the REALLY short (and crappy in my opinion) chapter! It's just that I've been wrapped up in exams so, if you really want me to post more, you'll have to be patient so I can pass and not be grounded! ^.^ Please R&R!! ~Feathers of the wind~* 01.28.02