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Gaping Holes
Exhilaration and adrenalin pumped loudly through his veins, the cheers of hundreds roared around him; they chanted for Gryffindor, chanted for him. His ribcage throbbed with an ache caused by a stray bludger, but the pain was shoved into the corner of his mind. Glory and joy filled his chest as his victory settled in his heart. They won 190 to 150 against Hufflepuff. With Amos Diggory graduated, Hufflepuff's defence suffered. Their beaters might as well be beating their cocks with the clubs the way they were handling things.
The only player who seemed to know what they were doing was their keeper and captain, Hugo Smith but it was all he could do to ensure the score didn't go past the two hundred mark. Hestia had lost to the Hufflepuff seeker but they had been too ahead for the Hufflepuffs to catch up and he probably knew that with the way their chasers were barely touching the quaffle, it was better to end it on a less embarrassing score.
One by one, his teammates tackled him out of the sky, patting him on his back and ruffling his sweaty locks as the chants continued.
"GRY-FFIN-DOR! GRY-FFIN-DOR! GRY-FFIN-DOR!" "POT-TER! POT-TER!"
First game of the year and they didn't even let Hufflepuff score once. With this, they were on their way to Gryffindor's seventh consecutive win on the Inter-house Quidditch Cup. He could feel a celebration in the common room due. Oh, he couldn't wait to tell Lily.
…
"We'll have a party; there'll be firewhiskey, beer, spiked punch— no holding back! The first years shall drink as well!" Sirius declared loudly, throwing an arm around James as they moved through the corridors in a large group of maroon and gold.
Remus and Peter was on either side of them, most of the Gryffindor Quidditch team tagged along and quite possibly the rest of Gryffindor as well. They cheered at Sirius' mention of a party and James could only laugh heartily at the thought. Yes, well it has been quite a while since the last time they all let loose, almost been two months since James even touched any sort of alcohol. Now there was only one problem with Sirius' plan.
"I've got to visit Lily later and we've all got detention, Sirius." James reasoned.
"Oh come off it, we just won our first quidditch match of the year, Lily will understand, she's clever enough to." Sirius waved his hand dismissively.
"I'm certainly not breaking another rule, I'll take the detention, thanks" Remus interjected.
Sirius snorted "You've grown old, my friend. Besides, our detention is with Filch. He sure as hell wouldn't be able to stop us"
Peter nodded along eagerly and James found himself wanting to believe Sirius, he remained silent for a moment, contemplating his actions as Lily would've wanted him to but he was interrupted by Sirius. His best mate slapped his back, loudly and he winced as his possibly bruised rib throbbed in protest.
"What's with all this thinking? The old James would've had a bottle of firewhiskey out his bloody trousers by now." Sirius laughed, rather unconvincingly.
It was at the most inconvenient moment did a group of sneering Slytherins decide to passed them by, there wasn't enough room in the corridors for them to pass without having to flatten themselves against the wall and let the Gryffindors through but they remained stubbornly on their path. It was merely a group of younger students and James recognized a few from some of the elitist-held events he's had to attend with his parents. Bartemius Crouch Jr. was one of them, along with Rabastan Lestrange and-
"Regulus" Sirius said in a menacing voice.
"Hello, Sirius" the sixth year Slytherin prefect greeted back with disdain.
"What's with all this racket? Shall I dock some points from Gryffindor? For nonsensical merry-making and disruption of peace." Rabastan said rather haughtily.
"Then shall I report you for falsifying reasons and misuse of prefectorial power?" Remus countered.
Rabastan regarded Remus with disgust, wrinkling his nose at him as if he had smelled a horrible scent. "Mummy and Daddy not able to afford you better clothes, Lupin?" the young Lestrange said and the whole group of Slytherins began to laugh with too much vigor.
"Why don't you eat your socks and fuck yourself, Lestrange" James heard Marlene McKinnon speak from the back and Sirius' eyebrows rose, in fact, everyone's eyebrows rose. No one would've suspected the pleasant Gryffindor girl to use such language.
"I wouldn't have put it quite so but her way is much better. Eat footwear and do it in the bum, ya prick!" Sirius hooted raucously before bursting into fits of laughter.
A few other glorified Gryffindors threw in insults of their own to encourage a fight. James felt hands pushing against his back as if ushering him into a kill ring. His hand twitched toward his wand just to give the audience what they wanted—only it was a fight they wanted and James wasn't sure if that was the best idea right now.
Barty Crouch, who had been quiet until now, perked up at the mention of a fight. His eyes alight with hunger and thirst for violence. That boy was seriously mental. "You want a go, eh?" he spat, drawing his wand and pointing it at James.
He felt a sharp slap on the back "Draw your wand, mate" Sirius whispered harshly at him. It was only then, James noticed that Sirius had his wand drawn and pointed at Crouch and almost everyone else present in the Slytherin group had done the same. James didn't need to look around to know that the Gryffindors had done the same.
He caught Sirius' nervous glance "James, they want a fight. Draw your fucking wand, wanker." He hissed but James only just heard him.
Crouch did not pass the opportunity to make a jab at James' hesitance. "Whas 'a matter, Potter? Scared o' a little fight?" he sneered and the Slytherins cackled. That would be a sight, wouldn't it? The James Potter, running from a fight? If this had been the old James Potter, he would've had Bartemius Crouch sprawled on his back, several feet from where he stood and Lestrange dangling upside down by his ankle.
Except, he wasn't the old James Potter anymore. He's been fighting to convince Lily that he's changed and here he was, on the verge of starting another fight with the Slytherins. But this time, he could stop it. Yes, if he could just warn them off and dissuade any further violence.
"James?" Sirius called, his wand at the ready and James had no doubt there was the Stinging hex on his tongue. He was waiting for him to draw his wand and start the fight like he usually does. He looked to the Slytherins to see their hands trembling slightly. The group of Gryffindors were much larger compared to their numbers, they were having second doubts on starting the fight, hence their reluctance to make the first move.
So James did something he never thought he'd do, summoning his best Lily Evans imitation, James heaved a big breath and-
"There will be no fighting and misuse of magic in the corridors. Disband! Or I start taking points." James snapped with his impressive imitation of Lily's lines.
Sirius turned to look at him as if he had grown three heads, in fact he was fairly sure everyone sported the same look.
Bartemius Crouch laughed, a high pitched and outraged laugh. "Pulling on your authority, are you?" he wheezed "COWARD!" he shouted and pointed his wand with more menace that James was comfortable with. At once, his wand was out of his pocket and the incantation was out his mouth.
"Expelliarmus!"
The fifth year's wand was out of his hand before the spell could be casted; James snatched it swiftly from the air and looked at the owner in bemusement. "10 points from Slytherin for attempting to attack a prefect" he said, coldly.
Everyone was thoroughly bewildered now. Crouched glared at him with heated hatred "Fuck you!" he snapped rudely.
"20 points from Slytherin for inappropriate language" James countered smoothly then looked to the rest of the Slytherins "Anyone else?"
"Give… me… my wand" Crouch gritted and James saw the manic in the boy's eyes; he was instantly defensive. His conscience warning him not to return the wand.
"This will be confiscated until further notice. You may claim it from your head of house later"
There was an ear piercing shriek of outrage and unexpectedly, Crouch snatched the wand from Regulus' hand and pointed it at James "CRUCIO!"
"Protego!" Sirius' voice carried across the corridor, wand-held hand reached across James as he deflected the spell back to Crouch and sent the boy buckling to the ground, clutching his body in pain, red light spread through his body like a wave before it faded as his the normalcy in his movements seemed to have returned.
"For the use of an illegal spell attempted against a prefect, a week's worth of detention. This incident will be reported to the headmaster and I'll expect your family will be informed of this" James said, sounding more professional than he felt. His conscience had a firm grip on his self-restrain when his instincts all but yelled at him to raise his wand and retaliate. Incapacitate and exert dominance to make sure Crouch was no longer a threat.
At the mention of his family, the glee disappeared from his eyes, replaced by a brief moment of panic and darkness. "Too 'fraid of dealing with me yourself, Potter" Crouch spat his name like a vile flavour in his mouth but James knew better than to let the words get to him.
Sirius, however, was not on the same page "Afraid, of you? Who's the one on the ground? Shall I make you kneel longer?" Sirius's eyes flashed briefly with sadistic satisfaction. He raised his wand and Crouch bowed his head, struggling. The Slytherins moved to fight but James decided he's had enough.
"Sirius!" he and Remus sounded together.
Sirius turned his excited eyes to them, the excitement morphed into annoyance then anger "What the fuck is wrong with you lot today?" he snapped angrily and shoved his way through the thick group of people, fuming all the way.
"Mental, that one" one of the Slytherins James didn't recognize sneered.
"Anyone else have a problem? Was I not clear enough? Disband!" James snapped.
Begrudgingly, the Slytherins bent to collect their fallen member off the floor and in one last spurt of defiance, Crouch sounded once again, this time with a threat "You're starting to sound just like your mudblood girl, I'd watch her closely if I were you. The dark lord has plans. Oh yes-"
"That's enough, Crouch!" Regulus snapped angrily, glancing back at James to gauge his reaction but no longer supported the fifth year with the same helpfulness and seemed to be dragging the boy roughly along.
As it turned out, the loud throbbing in his ears was his heart and the reason he hasn't lunged at Crouch yet was because Remus had his hand clutched firmly on his shoulder, holding him back. His body was literally poised to pounce and knock a few teeth out of the detestable boy's mouth but Remus held on. "Let him go, James" his friend told him soothingly. "You did the right thing" there was pride in his friend's voice.
"Sirius seems angry." Peter glanced back nervously at the gap in the group from Sirius' fuming departure.
"He'll get over it" James waved it off. His body brimming with pent up frustration, maybe it would've been better to just hex the shit out of them, especially after Crouch's declaration. James turned the group of frozen Gryffindors "Alright, fuck off you lot. Don't you all have some studying to do?" he shooed them off and the large group of maroon and gold scattered, some begrudgingly silent and some uttered unhappily under their breaths, eyes glancing at him as if he was some sort of party crasher.
James wasn't used to this sort of attention, for the first time in his life, he felt like he was an outsider, a dreaded party pooper, a spoilsport. The feeling left his skin crawling all over and without Sirius' loud remarks to shatter the awkwardness in the air as Remus, Peter and James were left standing alone in the middle of the corridor, James began to question his actions.
But if he hadn't stopped the fight, they would've undoubtedly, landed themselves in extended periods of detention and if he was lucky enough, he would be walking himself to the Hospital Wing while the rest are transported on levitating stretchers. While he didn't necessarily enjoy the feeling of guilt and dread for impending punishments, even then it was a situation he was familiar with, he knew what to do under those circumstances and he knew how he should feel. This however, was not what he knew; begrudging looks by people who usually cheered for him, whispers behind his back and judgemental looks in his direction. He didn't know how to feel. Is this what responsibility was? Telling people off and then get crapped on about it? Then he's certainly taken the prefects for granted.
"Prongs?" Remus interrupted his thoughts, gently.
"I'm going to hit the showers." Then he needed to see Lily.
"What about the party?" Peter called out to him.
"Go help Sirius with it." James threw dismissively over his shoulder.
…
Lily nibbled on the leg of a squirming chocolate frog as she absentmindedly traced a rune she didn't recognize in the book. Claennis? Perhaps, to cleanse—or was it clarity? Oh, how could she forget? Andros stood on the end of her bed and mewled softly before students in yellow and black began to file in after an injured looking boy in Quiddith gear. She recognized the boy as the Captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Hugo Smith, a fifth year.
"The Gryffindor beaters were brutal, d'you see how many bludgers they aimed at Smith? All that and we still lost! The poor captain…" one of the girls in quidditch gear said.
Lily winced, yes, James had mentioned he had a match with Hufflepuff today. From the looks of it, it seems the match had gone in favour of Gryffindor. As Madam Pomfrey levitated the captain in yellow and black onto the cot and conjured a leg brace to elevate his injured leg.
A few of the team members were weeping, a girl who looked to be in her third year was sobbing at the captain's bedside. Madam Pomfrey had just mended the captain's arm and insisted that he leave his arm in a sling until the discomfort eased. The good captain reached out with his good arm and tugged at the sobbing girl's trembling ponytail.
"Don't sweat it, Susie. Gryffindor's undefeated and you did catch the snitch so at least we won in something."
"I had to! You were being pummelled! I had to stop the match." Susie wept again "It's our fault, if only we practiced more! We're sorry, captain"
"It's that Sirius Black! He's foul just like his family, rotten bunch!" A boy Lily recognized as Clifford Welton from her Ancient Runes class spoke up.
"Now that's enough! He played fair and square, Welton" It was seventh year prefect, Amelia Bones who spoke this time. "The quaffle was near the rings when he sent the bludgers hurling at Smith" she reasoned.
"That's right, Potter may be full of hot air most of the time, but he's a damn good captain. So don't be looking down on him or his team. We didn't lose to a bunch of amateurs. Now get your head out of the gutters, our next match is against Ravenclaw and as soon as I'm out of here, we're going to start training harder and longer." Hugo's speech sounded impressive even from a few beds down.
"Yes, captain!" the whole team chorused.
Lily watched their team's dynamics from afar, their fond interactions with one another, kind words and determined eyes. Lily briefly wondered if James shared that same bond with his team, perhaps he would let her follow him into the locker rooms just before they're called. Lily had never been a big fan of quidditch, or flying in fact so she's never paid attention to how different teams played. She only ever went to the Gryffindor games when she felt particularly patriotic.
It was in those rare moments that Lily allowed herself to admire how good James looked when he was winning. Of course, she had yet to realize her feelings for him then but it would explain why she was so enthralled by his glorified behaviour on the field as hundreds of people chanted his name. It was also the reason why his ego was so well-fed. Now Lily wished she had been to the match. It's been too long since she's seen the quidditch stadium.
Andros paced up and down her bed, it was clear she was anticipating someone's arrival. At that moment, the doors to the hospital wing swung open and every head in the large room turned. James Potter moved swiftly toward Lily's cot, he didn't even notice the large group of Hufflepuff had it not been for the captain himself, who called out to the distracted Gryffindor.
"Potter! It was a great game you played." Hugo called out good heartedly.
James turned his attention from Lily to pay the same respect to his fellow captain. The boy was fairly young for a quidditch captain and Lily could see sympathy in his eyes as he regarded Hugo Smith. After all, he had been about the same age when Professor McGonagall made him captain.
"Your seeker has a sharp eye, Smith" James called back and turned back to Lily. Andros moved from her usual spot by Lily's legs to greet the newcomer. James sat down by the chair and the black cat leapt into his lap, purring incessantly.
"One probably couldn't tell that I am her witch."
James shrugged, scratching behind Andros' ear "I'm hard not to love."
"That you are, Potter" Lily teased.
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her chastely on the lips. The display of affection earned themselves a few wolf whistles from the Hufflepuff group. Lily flushed but James paid them no mind. "They're just jealous" he murmured against her lips and kissed her again. This time more desperately than the first. Lily allowed herself to be led on, falling deeper and deeper into a lusty trance. It wasn't until Andros let out a soft mewl that Lily snapped out of it and pulled away before things got too heated. But she could feel it from his lips, he was distracted, confused and troubled.
"What's wrong, James?"
…
For a moment, James couldn't think of why he came to see Lily. Did he need a reason to see his girlfriend? No, but he came to her with a reason this time, thoughts on his earlier encounters with the Slytherin group resurfaced and the question sat on the tip of his tongue. However, as she blinked at him with her stunning green eyes, head tilted slightly in curiousity, James had but one thought on his mind: Lily Evans was the prettiest girl he's ever seen.
Just seeing her made all his worries go away, and his discomforts about becoming someone he's not, completely worth it. For Lily, even if he had to become a nosy prefect prick that ruined fun for everyone, he would do it. With that in mind, he decided not to trouble Lily with his concerns, James shook his head and changed the topic.
"What are you reading?" He gestured at the book in her hand.
He could see the doubt flicker across her eyes for the briefest of moments before she smiled her knee-buckling smile.
"Dorcas came by earlier and gave it to me, it's in runes" she said as she fondly ran her hand down the spine of the book. "I'm rather rubbish at it, really. But it does keep me busy." Lily smiled sheepishly
"I find that hard to believe." James blurted out.
"Hm?" Lily looked up from the book, genuinely confused.
"That you're rubbish at anything."
There was something sad about the way she smiled then, she looked as if he had just said something terrible to her. "Well, I'm only just."
James moved to sit by her on the bed, lifting her limp hand from the crisp white sheets and kissed her knuckles. "What else are you bad at?" he asked.
Lily looked at him, smiling cheekily. "Surely you don't think I'm going to indulge you with my greatest weaknesses, Potter?" she teased.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours?" James asked, plastering on his most innocent face.
"How inappropriate!" Lily feint outrage, nudging him with her shoulder.
James leaned over to growl in her ear, before nipping and kissing at her neck "I'll show you inappropriate."
Gasping, Lily cast her frantic gaze over to the group of chattering Hufflepuffs before scanning the room for any signs of the Hogwarts matron. "Stop it, James" she whispered harshly, trying to squirm out of his grasp.
"Don't want to" James refused stubbornly.
Some of the Hufflepuffs were beginning to notice that they were much too close to be talking. "Arithmancy." she blurted out. "I'm awful at Arithmancy." she repeated urgently, persistently adding pressure to James as she squirmed.
James looked up, eyes narrowed at her "No, you're not" he said. "I'm pretty sure you got an Outstanding in your O. for Arithmancy."
"Just barely, Sev he-" Lily stopped abruptly, a wave of sadness washed over her features and James felt the urge to throw the greasy git out a window "He helped me with all my homework, before we… you know. But Marlene McKinnon was terrific at it as well and she helped me after I stopped—well, after Severus and I stopped being friends,"
"You could've asked me." James said, automatically. "I happen to be very good at Arithmancy." he said, proudly, masking his discomfort with a boast.
"We weren't exactly civil then, were we? In fact, I hated you almost as much as I hated Severus then."
"Me? But I didn't do anything/"
"I blamed you just as much for provoking Severus that day, I thought maybe if you weren't such an arrogant toerag then maybe Severus wouldn't have done what he did. But I see now that he's changed. You probably did me a favour." Lily's eyes were downcast; her hand traced random symbols on the back of James' hand. Andros sidled up against Lily's side and mewled comfortingly.
"I wasn't trying to show off—much" James said. Lily didn't look convinced. "The night before, when you came back to the common room, sniffling and crying— don't try to convince me otherwise, I saw you. I knew we weren't close then but I wanted to help" he sounded helpless even to his own ears.
Lily was looking at him now and he was the one looking downcast and avoiding eye contact. "But you were so ruddy fixed on hating me, you wouldn't bloody let me in, so I helped you in the only way I knew how."
"By hexing, publicly humiliating my best mate and in turn, humiliating me with your inappropriately timed date request?" He could hear the tease in her voice but he couldn't help but cringe at her words.
"In my defence, I didn't think you would be there." he sounded smug and confident. Good, because he surely didn't feel it. "I wanted you then but I didn't know what to do to get you to like me. I was desperate, to put it shortly. It's your entire fault, you know." He nudged her with his shoulder.
"I do beg your pardon."
He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. "You conflict my thoughts and tie my tongue just so I'll make a complete prat out of myself."
"I can't help it"
"I know. But you're perfect, you know." she stiffened in his arms and James decided to push it. "You may be rubbish at Arithmancy and Runes but you're still perfect."
She had gone completely still by now and as she muttered her next words, James felt like she had just created the first gaping hole in their relationship and he was afraid to leap over it, fearing he would get sucked into the abyss. So he said nothing.
"If only that were true"
…
Remus, despite saying that he would rather attend detention than the celebration party in the common room, was partially drunk already. He blamed it on his useless mates, of course. Peter was sat by the fire with Cassandra Belby, a Ravenclaw girl he convinced Sirius to let him smuggle into the party. Good on him. Except now, Remus was left alone with a bottle of knotgrass mead and a very slurred brain. Where was Sirius anyway?
"A drinking contest!" a voice far too familiar sounded behind Remus. The prefect dared himself to turn around, only to find his suspicions confirmed. Sirius stood on the lumpiest couch in the common room, two bottles of suspiciously familiar design "Who dares to rise before me! WHO!" he roared drunkenly.
The crowd cheered but no one came forth "Cowardsss! Not one o' you 'ave the bo-llocks to drink! Gryffindors, my arse! Rubbish lot, all of ya!" Sirius hissed loudly, his saliva spraying the people standing in front of him.
A lumpy cushion was thrown at Sirius, smacking the boy right in the middle of his face but with no effect. "Who goes, there?" Sirius squinted dramatically as the crowd parted to reveal none other than the quidditch captain himself, standing smugly at the end of the makeshift path.
"I'll have a go, ya lunatic" James announced, striding confidently towards Sirius. Remus hadn't seen him all night so he must've just arrived. "but I'm afraid you'll be at a disadvantage, mate" he said as he reached Sirius, who was staring down at him with scrutiny.
There was a rise in tension as Sirius and James stared at one another. Remus was physically preparing himself to break them apart should they start lunging at one another before Sirius broke out in loud, rancorous laughter "Ah, has your wife finally gone to bed? Or do you have her permission to be here?" Sirius cooed mockingly. James rolled his eyes and said nothing else. "And you're mental if you think you my handicap going to help you, not with your sorry excuse of alcohol tolerance." Sirius tossed him the unopened bottle of firewhiskey and they grabbed hands so Sirius could pull him up to stand on the couch. "Good to have you back, Prongs" Sirius patted him on the back before swaying precariously on his feet.
Grinning, Remus took a swig of his mead and strayed from the middle of the crowd before one of them were to be sick all over the floor. He leaned against a secluded corner of the room, looking on as people cheered and danced about Sirius and James as they proceeded to drown themselves in the contents of the bottle. Peter was now holding hands with the Ravenclaw as they too, cheered for one or both of the Marauders under the spotlight. They were one big, happy, dysfunctional family. Remus couldn't think of better way to spend his detention.
…
And that was how a vast majority of the Gryffindors found themselves in the detention room the next morning with no breakfast. Most of them were hungover, including Remus himself but no one suffered as much as the moaning and groaning Sirius and James. The two of them were tearing up the parchment they were provide to write lines with and throwing them at each other whilst trying to curse each other without their wands. Remus snorted. Bloody dysfunctional indeed.
Busy, busy, busy! Life is beginning to catch up and I'm sorry I can't be more fun in these author notes. Nonetheless, thanks for reading and please leave a review! Catch you next week!