AN: This was going to be funny, but I have to get the HichiIchi thing on the road. So it'll still be funny for a while, but there's going to be some drama.
I'm gonna have fun writing this… it gets really serious/interesting towards the end.
~~3rd POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All of the Espada sat intently at the white round table. Most of them stared Ichigo to the ground for the first few seconds. Then, they went back to whatever they were doing. Powerful, maybe, but the Espada were definitely scatterbrained.
Like Nnoitra, Szayel introduced the rubix cube to him. So Nnoitra mustered up all of his knowledge and problem-solving skills and his mind was set on solving that cube no matter how many rage quits it took. He spun one end with his thumb then stared at it, turned it around, and spun it again.
Neliel was curling her hair around her fingers, while Haribel had brought herself a book as entertainment. Szayel sat there with that creepy pedo-smile on his face. Nnoitra saw this look on his face and yelled. "Szayel, now all you need is a mustache and you will be eligible for the sex offender list!"
"But I'm just sitting here." Szayel argued with Nnoitra's invalid statements.
"That's the point," Nnoitra yelled back. Annoyed with Nnoitra's antics, even Szayel being himself, he sunk back into the chairs with his arms crossed.
Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were another story. Grimmjow was making Ulquiorra uncomfortable without using words. A disdainful smirk would flash across Grimmjow's face, and Ulquiorra could feel the pink creeping slowly, but surely, across his pale cheeks.
Those deep cerulean eyes, holding feelings as deep as the ocean, kept trying to drown Ulquiorra's own green emeralds into an intensive yet dreamy stare. Every time Ulquiorra got a glimpse of those eyes, while sitting at the table, he would immediately look away and make a futile attempt to distract himself.
Aaroniero's had transformed AGAIN as if he couldn't stand to look at his own true form. As Kaien Shiba, his head was lowered down right next to Grimmjows.
He whispered into the ear, "Now, you go for the kill!"
Grimmjow freaked. "The fuck?! What are you doing?"
"I'm helping you hunt down your prey, kitty-cat."
"I, Grimmjow JaegerJaquez, am perfectly capable of hunting down my own prey as I am the KING!" Grimmjow stood in proclamation.
"So… didya kiss him yet?" Aaroniero's curiosity got the better of him. The consequence, Grimmjow's bitch slap.
"Are that slow?" Grimmjow asked Aaroniero.
"No, Yammy threw me on the ground yesterday for stealing his quadruple chocolate doughnut." Aaroniero rubbed his cheek. "And I lost my memory, but that weirdo pink-head said he would whip something ups so I can get it back."
"When did he say it was gonna be ready?" Grimmjow did not want to have an Espada who lost all of his memory roaming around Las Noches like an idiot, especially not Aaroniero.
"Tuesday." Aaroniero replied.
"Today is Thursday."
"Oh."
"Oi, Szayel!" Grimmjow called to the grimacing pink-haired scientist.
"What do you want?"
"Geez, who pushed a pole up your ass?"
Suddenly, Szayel smirked. "What I want to know is who pushed one up yours?"
Grimmjow started to turn red in embarrassment because of how awkward everything in life is. He quickly got angry. "I will have you know, I top! Fucking Top!"
Szayel just chuckled.
"That's not the point, when is Aaroniero gonna get his medicine?"
"I actually have it hear. I was meaning to give it to him. But he never came to pick it up."
"Slide it here," Grimmjow wanted to be helpful for once.
Szayel obediently slide the bottle of pink medicine.
"I dun wanna drink PINK medicine!" Aaroniero whined.
Overhearing their conversation, or rather over hearing as in hearing too much of it, Halibel's eyebrow twitched in irritation.
"Would you like some crackers with that wine [whine]?" Halibel yelled at Aaroniero.
"Hah! Good one," Starrk complimented Halibel's comment.
She smiled a semi-warm smile showing her appreciation for the sane[ish] people in this world. But the smug smile was quickly wiped away by Aaroniero's comment. "I don't get it!" he whined once more.
Then, Halibel yelled again. "Just drink the damn drink!"
"Fine, fine!" Aaroniero took the medicine in one gulp. He held his head as so many memories [since last Friday] came flooding in. The medicine tasted bad so he held his tongue out in 'ack!'
"What's wrong?" Grimmjow asked.
"Izt thasthes so badh, I thwink iztz aphhole fwlavbor [it tastes so bad, I think it's apple flavored]."
"Ewww…the fuck…" Grimmjow flinched in disgust and so did Nnoitra, hearing their conversation.
"What?" Szayel asked as the two Espada stared at him.
"Why the hell did ya make 'asshole' flavored medicine?!" Nnoitra barked at him.
"What the heck are you talking about?"
"You heard Aaroniero! Jeez, if you're gay, be a man and admit it!" Grimmjow teased.
"I did not make ASSHOLE flavored medicine."
"Yeah, be a man… like Grimmjow!" Nnoitra took a stance.
Grimmjow heard Nnoitra's comment, and got a little pissed, but in a good way, "Nnoitra! Why you little…"
Grimmjow's voice died off. And the room went into a very awkward silence as the opening creak of the door carried itself through the 'tense' air.
Ichigo seemed to have casually walked in, but he lifted up his head and he noticed that the room went silent. So he just ogled as well when eleven pairs of eyes looked in his direction. You could hear the crickets in the room.
Attempting to break the silence, Gin stepped out. "How do ya do, Kurosaki-kun!"
"Umm… Good?" His voice raised up at the end of his statement.
"Are you unsure if you're good or not?" Ulquiorra spoke up.
"If you're not feeling well, perhaps, I can probe you," Szayel made a very intimidating suggestion.
"What the fuck? Probe!" Nnoitra screamed at him, "If you're going to molest him, just say it. Don't say you're going to fucking probe him!"
"The hell…?" Ichigo was really nervous. He looked really scared and scarred.
"Hey! Ichigo, come take this seat," Grimmjow slapped the seat next to him with a sly grin on his face.
"Why are you calling me Ichigo?" Ichigo asked the blue-haired Espada.
"Rather have me call ya KUROSAKI?" Grimmjow told him with the grin still glued to his face.
"No… I guess not," Ichigo slowly sat down in the chair, he was scared. Not only did he look scared, his aura was completely depressing, it was a combination of sadness and awkwardness.
His head slunk to the table as he depressingly asked the same question for the nth time, "What's going on…?"
"Would you stop asking that?!" Nnoitra bit his tongue so he wouldn't drop any unnecessary cuss words.
"S-sorry," Ichigo quickly apologized to the tall, now deeply irritated, Espada.
"Nnoitra, stop being such a tight ass," Starrk told him, "He's just curious."
"I'm curious too, why are you carrying around that big-ass sword around?" Grimmjow asked.
Gin quickly cut in so they could—"CUT THE SHIT AND GET ON WITH THE STORY!" Gin yelled from the head of the table, and then he rubbed the back of his head and pretended nothing happened, "Sorry! It was just a' reflex."
Ichigo POV (The bold parts are Shirosaki) (The bold italics are Ichigo talking back to Shiro)
"Ok, so you're probably wondering what you are doing here?" Szayel cracked his knuckles casually. If you ask me, he wasn't doing it casually; he was doing it like he was readying to punch someone.
Holy crap, what the hell are you doing here King?! I think I'm as powerful as you in this place. Do you think I can finally get the hell out of this place?
Shut up, Shiro! Let me deal with this, or else…
Or else…?
You know "Or else"!
Fine… always killing the mood, it's like you, isn't it like ya? King?
"What are you wondering about?" Grimmjow was vigorously tapping my shoulder.
"Stop being so annoying!" I snapped at him. Why was he stabbing me? Why does he care what I wonder about?
"That's my fucking line!" He yelled back at me.
"Are you guys going to tell me what the hell even happened?!" I started to raise my spirit pressure higher than Grimmjow's currently was. He got threatened and started to raise his too.
"Hah, this is fun!" Nnoitra shone a sadistic grin before upping his reitsu.
"Trash." Ulquiorra's spirit pressure was scary. But I could beat that, any day. I made my spirit pressure as high as it would go in the moment, because I was feeling dizzy, and low spirited. Go figure.
"Gin! Get them to stop!" Aaronierro put his head on the table to try to shield himself from the spirit pressure.
"Guys!" Gin tried to calm them down by ways of reason, "You're going to kill the other Arrancar…"
Slowly but surely, even Gin started to get mad as you could hear the low moaning that was getting louder from the hallways. Then, suddenly, an insane reitsu shot up all the way and we turned around. Sure enough, the normally pacifist leader was surrounded by a glowing violet flame that was extremely intimidating/
Gin was there and one of his eyes were creepily open, "Shall we start the story?" He whispered in a low scary voice.
Immediately, we scattered back into our seats. I thought I was about to piss myself while some of the Espada looked like they already did.
And the awkward silence ensued, for a long while this time until Nel bravely stood up.
"Ichigo, we don't know how you died. But we know what happened after you landed in Huenco Mundo."
I was curious. So curious about how the cat got killed. So I urged her to go on, "Start from there, then."
She placed a hand on her hips, "Well… I don't know from the very beginning because Grimmjow was the one that found you."
Grimmjow was spacing off, well, maybe not spacing off. He had that same mischievous smirk and it was directed at a flustered Ulquiorra. It wasn't just one thing. He'd keep switching his face angles while still have a sexy smile on his face. He was trying too hard to impress, for sure.
"Grimmjow, stop pedo-smiling at Ulquiorra and tell Ichigo what happened!" Aaroniero ordered him to tell the story after he had completely ignored Nel.
"Fine, fine. Let's get on with the story. I found you, and you were one fat-ass of a hollow."
Who is he calling a 'fat-ass'!
Nobody! Now pipe down!
"At first you were all 'I'm going to die! Oh, handsome and oh so sexy prince Grimmjow, save me!'"
I was as sure as hell that I didn't say 'oh handsome and oh so sexy prince Grimmjow, save me'. He even made me sound like a complete bitch!
"So, I saved you and you turned into this bitchy little toddler. You would cry for every fucking thing!" Grimmjow tried to cut the story short. I could tell. Before I had a chance to scream Ulquiorra took over.
"Ichigo, what he's trying to say is that he brought you back to Las Noches. I was the only one here at the moment. You were this very large hollow covered in tons of armor. Your spirit pressure was extremely high so we couldn't figure out why you were still a newly made Adjucah or why you skipped the earlier stages of hollow creations. You ultimately still kept your personality and individuality as Kurosaki Ichigo. We figured you would be an not-so-trashy addition to the Espada."
Really? Not so trashy?! Well, coming from someone like Ulquiorra, that was a compliment but I let him continue. This was pretty interesting.
"We made the decision of transforming us into an Arrancar so you were eligible to join our ranks. While the process was going, your mask broke off, and you transformed into a very interesting toddler. So we spent the rest of the time taking care of you."
Taking care of me? Was I that high maintenance? So, this is where my mask came in. It wasn't completely formed either. While Ulquiorra was talking I felt something pounding inside of me. No, it wasn't my heart. I think it was Shiro. My suspicions were ended when I heard my inner hollow howl from within me.
King! I need fucking out of here! It's terrible. You can't contain both of us. I'm someone else. Please, King, get me the hell out of here.
My hollow sounded terrible like it was crushed in a small space with no breath to spare. His voice creaked, but he still screamed.
What are you talking about, Shiro?
King! Listen to me! Get me the fuck out of here! Please…
Shiro, stop it! Stop pounding!
I felt my chest tighten up, and a sudden shortage of breath. I held tightly to my chest as it felt like my wind pipe was being squeezed. It was a less than appealing sound, the wheezing, when I started to cough.
"… holy crap…" I could only manage that out before I pushed my seat back and fell, kneeling on the ground, still coughing up a fit. "Help…"
My voice was really raspy and the pain was unbearable.
"Shiro… Stop…" I said this out loud. I couldn't catch a glimpse of the rest of their faces. Normally, he would've been taking over, but I was fighting. I couldn't turn hollow because I was a hollow… there's my problem! I'm hollow so I can't turn hollow, he can't take me over like he normal could. He's stuck fighting because I cramped him where I couldn't contain him: in the soul that I don't have.
"Are you… OK?" The blue-haired figure asked. No, I'm not ok. But I can't talk. I could barely feel a essence of life within me.
KING! OUT!
Shiro was practically screaming. I was also screaming. Screaming screams of complete silence. I can't take this…
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Finally, breathe, breathe. Just great, another one of those damn blackouts. Now, I probably missed something that was extraordinarily important and my catching up is going to be done by believing what a couple of Espada have to say about it.
"…he's awake?" There was a somewhat feminine voice that spoke. A lot of chittering and chattering was heard throughout the room.
I sat up in the bed, rubbing my head. DÉJÀ VU. There were many people surrounding the bed I lay upon. "What's… going on?" I asked intently. Szayel looked down with concern and bent over so his head was right in front of mine.
"Ichigo-kun, I'm afraid we're going to have to use some drastic measures," His voice scared me. It was the same feeling as if you go to the doctor and he tells you that you have some sort of life threatening disease.
"Wait a sec… don't tell me that I'm going to die or something!" I exclaimed.
"Oh no, you won't die if you listen and do what I say," He tapped his finger on my nose with a very creepy looking smile and then took a deep sigh, "So… lemme explain the situation to you. I know that what you heard inside of you was your 'inner hollow'. You can't have him inside of you anymore. You're a qualified hollow now so you don't have a soul that means nowhere to that hollow contained. I extracted him from inside of you—"
I didn't let him finish, "You what?!" Of course you can't simply 'extract' Shiro! How… the fuck… this was so confusing.
"Look over there," the pink-haired man pointed to a giant test tube where something incredibly small was floating around. Holy fuck, that didn't look like Shiro! There was some tiny fetus floating in there. It was white, not pink and it was the size of my palm.
"Is that Shiro?" I asked nervously.
"Is that your hollow's name? Well, then, yes, that's him; he's in a materialized form and took refuge in your lungs. Look, Arrancar's bodies don't work like a normal body. It's very complicated so I might as well just not explain it. It also means that when you were a child, this is what he has been doing, but you had no real contact. He started to signal distress once you returned to your adult form."
This was so fucking complicated! But, why? I understood, I just didn't understand.
"What's going to h-happen now?" My breathing still felt very weak and my body was stiff with fear.
"We're going to have to construct somewhere for you to carry him, we need your spirit power to flow. Like mother to son."
"…so you're going to make me…"
"Yes, pregnant!" I was not about to say that.
"What the fuck are you…"
"Well, you'll have to 'carry' him around for 1 month, you'll experience everything from nausea to cramps and aches, but you have to bear with it. Just for a month. We'll nurse him for a week in this test tube to grow him into the adult form."
So, ok. I die. I kill an overlord. I almost die again. Now, I have to pregnant. Is that what you're trying to say?! Why?! Good Kami, why?!
"Don't worry too much about it, nobody will treat you weird or meanly, I already discussed this with them."
Why? He already told everyone that I'm going to be pregnant! I don't want to be pregnant! I didn't do anything wrong though… The look on my face didn't go away. I'm sorry, but I had dignity in being a full-fledged man. Or at least I had a little bit of dignity.
"Don't think of it as your pregnant! We'll extract Shirosaki-san once he has enough spirit pressure to survive. That is unless you want to sit here without moving for the next few years," His suggestion was extremely puzzling. Why sit here? "Look at your hand."
Sure enough, there were these IV needs hooked up to my hand and I looked around for more. I found two on my chest as well, "What the hell?!"
"Calm down, you have to be still. We're extracting spirit pressure into this test tube. But the first few weeks are going to require a lot of it. So please, go through with what I tell you, otherwise, the consequences are going to be severe on your body and your abilities, not to mention, Shirosaki-san, and probably Zangetsu, your sword, as well."
Damn, so if I don't do what he tells me to do, I'm going to end up dead or at least bedridden. And Shiro and Zangetsu won't make it. Fuck, I don't have much of a choice, do I?
"Fine, go through with it."
Author's Note: This isn't really an Mpreg. Because it's only for one month. There really wasn't any other way to do this; had I done it at the beginning, it probably would've been harder. I mean, I can't just make Hichigo poof through midair!
Warning, some yaoi (GrimmUlquiIchi) approaching. Do not think of it as permanent. It's going to eventually fade to HichiIchi. The GrimmUlquiIchi is probably going to be PWP.