A/N: Dang, almost a month of no update! I'm sorry, lo siento, patawad, dui bu qi. Things have been really busy for me lately, early in the semester and already I have a lot to do. But for sure, I haven't forgotten you guys.
And to prove that, ANGST. Uh-huh, you know me. Angst runs through my fingers. So let me know what you think.
Thanks!
CSINYCSINYCSINYCSINY
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah
My hands were shaking so much that I dropped my keys. When I picked it back up, Mac took it from me and unlocked my door. He led me inside and placed the keys in the basket, my purse beside it. I looked at the mirror hanging on the wall and saw that my lips were swollen and my face was all flushed. All in one kiss!
I went straight to my kitchen and drank two glasses of water. What the hell just happened? Mac was in my living room pacing – probably thinking of the same thing. Pacing and water drinking would not solve anything so I braved going into my living room and talking to him. I brought Mac a glass of water as well.
Against all odds, I wanted to kiss him again! Seeing his lips on the edge of the glass – moist after taking a swig, a drop or two escaping. I knew how they felt against my lips. His gaze was intense that there was no looking away.
"Please don't hate me, Stella," he said in an almost whisper. He sat down heavily on my couch and sighed.
I sat down on the coffee table in front of him. Lifting his chin up to look at me, I said, "Is there any reason for me to hate you, Mac?" His eyes lit up and he smiled. I cupped his face in my hands and continued, "What happened in the car… that's bound to happen one way or another. Like you said… 'We'll get there', remember?"
He chuckled at the memory. Nodding, he admitted, "I've been wanting to do that for a long time now. And I… I wanted that moment to be special."
"But it was!" I insisted. His hands squeezed mine and I transferred to the spot beside him. In an innocent voice, I joked, "I've never made out in a car with my boss before."
Mac laughed out loud. "Naughty, naughty Stella," he said, bopping my nose with his index finger. "Do you fantasize about your previous bosses too?"
"Oh I don't know about the word fantasize but…" I batted my eyelashes at him, "Not all of them I wanted to kiss." I bit my lower lip, waiting for his response.
This time, I initiated the kiss. It slow and sweet, unlike the one we shared in the car. I felt the tip of his tongue probe the seam of my lips and in no time, his arms were around me, pulling me closer to his body. My hands went under the jacket he was wearing, wanting to take them off.
"Whoa, wait…" he panted, stopping my hands with his and getting my attention. He planted one more kiss on my lips and said, "Slow down." I got off his lap, embarrassed out of my mind. I must admit that there were times where I could get aggressive but I practically jumped him. I caught my breath and glanced at him. "I know," he chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.
I licked my lips, still feeling his against them. He was about to say something when I beat him to it, "I know… we'll get there." We laughed and settled against each other on the couch. "Mac," I said. I felt him sigh in acknowledgement against my back. "What are we doing?"
I knew that I just ruined the mood – whatever that was. But I had to know what was going on between us really. I wanted to know what he thought about everything between us right now. Because I don't know how I feel and what I feel.
"I don't know, Stella," he said. "That's why we're taking it slow." He held my hand and continued, "It will be what you want it to be. I'm here with you. I'll go wherever with you." He held me tighter and kissed my forehead.
Whatever this is, I like it. I turned and buried my head against his chest. I kissed his neck, up to his chin and finally pecked his lips. "Stay?" I asked against his lips. "For the night?"
"Are you sure?" he asked. He knew about my rule: No men in my house.
"It's not too late to break my own rule, Mac."
0o0o0o0o0
The next morning, I woke up with two strong arms around my waist, soft snores in my ear. The fingers on one hand were tracing the top of my shorts, the other hand flat against my tummy. The green digits on my alarm clock bleared 6a.m. Too early.
Gingerly, I turned in his arms and studied him sleeping. The curve of his eyebrows, the point of his nose, the line of his lips.
We didn't make love last night. We just held each other – talking, laughing, tickling each other, kissing… until we fell asleep. I actually slept with my head cradled on his chest, his hands tangling with my curls.
He asked me if I'd be comfortable with him sleeping without his shirt on. Hallelujah! As I changed in my bathroom into a tank top and a pair of shorts, I heard him drape his pants and shirt on one of my chairs and the clunk of shoes against my carpet. Then the rustle of my sheets being pulled from the bed and his body settling on it. Holy Almighty in heaven, I splashed water on my face to lower my body temperature.
"Maybe inviting him to spend the night might not be a good idea," I told my reflection on the mirror. "Maybe you should have taken his offer of him taking the couch."
"But that defeats the purpose of asking him to stay over at the first place," I replied to myself. "At least… with my reasons." What the hell were my reasons anyway? Sleeping and waking up beside a warm body perhaps? Or did I just wanted him near? Either way, my bed is big enough for the both of us. I pulled on my robe and ventured into my room.
This time, it was the dark green robe that showcased my legs. "Do you have anything under there?" he joked, looking mighty comfortable on the left side of my bed.
"Scoot over!" I said, pushing him to the other side. "This is my side of the bed." He moved and I was welcomed by comforting body heat. "Ooohh… warm," I moaned, inhaling his scent on my pillow.
"I'm getting cold over here," he said with his arms open. I rolled nearer and I swear – for as long as I live, I will never forget that first touch of skin to skin. I jolted back for a second. "Too warm?" he chuckled. I nodded but sank in his arms anyway.
And now, I was back in those same safe arms. Mac was still sound asleep but I had to get up. It was his day-off but it wasn't mine. I slowly made a move to sit up when he started to stir. "Where do you think you're going?" he said in a sleepy rasp.
"One of us here has work to do," I answered in an equally weary voice. My eyes felt crusty so I brushed those 'morning glories' away. "You go back to sleep. I'll make breakfast."
I was slipping on my Hello Kitty when he made a grab for my arm. "Not so fast, Stella," he said, his voice stronger.
"Mac… I got to get to work," I whined, sitting heavily back on the bed. He sat up and pulled me in his arms.
"Good morning," he mumbled in my hair.
I murmured it back. "I'll leave an extra toothbrush for you on the sink, okay?" He nodded and continued to stroke my hair. "Mac, let go. Work for me today."
"Says who?" his voice still muffled. He played with the straps of my tank top. "I'm your boss and if you don't come to work, I'd know why." This side of Mac Taylor, I didn't even know existed. Sweet, playful, naughty even. I wonder if Peyton knew about it.
And then all of a sudden, I froze. Peyton. She decided not to return to New York. Hammerback and Pino were talking about it some days ago stating 'personal reasons' as her cause of not coming back. I felt sorry for her. I wonder how hard it was to let go of someone you love dearly. And she did love Mac. Very much. For that, I was thankful.
Mac must've felt me tense up because he asked if I was okay. I looked up and gave a weak smile. "As much as that sounds very enticing, Mac, I really have to get to work," I excused myself and went to the bathroom.
I saw the way he looked at me, felt how he held me… and how I reacted to all of that. That's when I got scared and realized I had to get out before anything I could regret happens. I was in deep thought that I shampooed my hair three times. Oh well, at least I'd smell a tab bit more coconut-y today. Dressed in a fluffy bathrobe, I went to my closet to get my clothes for that day plus my makeup. Mac wasn't there but I could hear the drone of the TV outside.
He was already dressed in his clothes from yesterday, nursing a cup of coffee. He looked up when I stepped into the dining room. There was another cup waiting for me with a piece of toast. I accepted and ate in silence.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable," he said. I didn't look up as he continued, "I didn't… I wasn't myself. I didn't mean to offend you or rush you into anything, Stella. I'm really sorry."
Hearing him blame himself like that was hard to hear. Mac Taylor was a proud man yet he knew his place. I wasn't really offended but I was uncomfortable. But most of all, I was scared. Because if I did not stop it where I did, neither of us was getting out of bed.
I knew that negating him would make him feel guiltier. So I just smiled and squeezed his hand. He kissed my knuckles and thanked me.
On my way to work – again, with Mac driving me – he stopped three blocks away at a stoplight and took the opportunity to kiss me. "I haven't got the chance back at your place," he said with a bright smile on his face as we started moving again.
Work was same old-same old. Three cases came in atop our ongoing investigations. A junkie killed a dealer in an alley because she was given crack instead of smack. A domestic violence incident when big brother accidentally shot little brother when aiming for dad. Two shop owners burning down both their establishments with unknown causes. I was about to head out with Danny to the drug dealer case when a certain someone clocked in for the shift.
"Hey Mac!" Danny greeted him. "I thought it was your day-off." Mac called both of us to his office and wanted to hear about our scene. Danny supplied the details as the boss got his kit ready. "Whoa, you're coming with us?"
"Yeah," Mac simply said, leading us out to the parking garage. He placed his hand on my small of my back as we exited the building.
Danny chuckled. "Okay, I get it," he said, scratching his goatee. "You're with her," he continued, pointing from Mac to me. The boss glared at him as if telling the younger man to shut up.
"Private joke?" I inquired as I rode shotgun. Danny offered to take the back seat.
"Let's just put it this way," the younger CSI said, "at least I'm not the last one to hear about this."
Rewind a few months ago: layout lab, Hawkes working with me. Then Danny ambled over to me and whispered, "Mac and Peyton?" Hawkes and I sniggered. Oh yes Danny, always the last one to get the news yet the most excited over it.
"So… how long?" Danny started. "Since when? When'd you find out?"
Mac slowed the SUV down to let some commuters pass. "What's with the 20 questions?" he sighed, blasé. The crime scene was about 15 minutes from the lab with the traffic.
"Oh nothin'," he shrugged. "Just interested, y'know." He hauled himself forward and repeated his questions.
"Danny! We're not even in a…" I looked at Mac for confirmation but his eyes were on the road, "in a formal relationship. So there's nothing to be excited about. And… and… we don't want to jinx it." I hoped Mac would contribute to the conversation but clearly His Highness wasn't interested.
He flashed his little fangs at me. "I geddit. S'like 'testing the waters' or somethin' like that, right?" he nodded, leaning back. Yeah, something like that.
"Danny," he said firmly. "There is no relationship. Just focus on what we'll be doing."
That shut us up.
CSINYCSINYCSINYCSINY
A/N 2: I might've gone over on this one. It's a bit OC for my taste. But hey, the writers are on strike, right? So no canon character to follow hahaha….
VaveAme92 – of course there is a different side to Mac. After all, he's a guy ;)
MJ – tee-hee, can't have a chapter with no Flack or Danny.
Rebandmel – thanks for reading! Yeah, since the writers are on strike…. LOL
Justawritier – I am in love with Flack. Period. Haha.
Mo – kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss… KISS!!!
Mandi – Angel is my favorite fictional character EVER! And her relationship with Collins is sooo dang sweet and there should be a different story/play made about that. So the part where she dies in Collin's arms… so heartbreaking. Btw, my friends and I performed FINALE B in a charity fundraiser last well – part of my lack of updates haha.
Lioness – thanks for pointing that out. Yeah, I realized it too late.