The door slams, jolting Finn out of his drowsy state. Poe's arms are still wrapped around him.
Wracking sobs tears through the air. Shit. Finn scrambles up, grabbing his pants as Poe sits, blinking.
"What—"
"Rey," Finn hisses. Did Kylo do something to her? Finn will kill him if—
"Finn?" he hears her calling.
Poe jumps up and shimmies into his jeans, buttoning them as Finn barges out of the room. "Rey?"
She turns to him, face blotchy and eyes running.
"Hey," Finn says, wrapping an arm around Rey. She shudders. "Come here. Sit down." Did I fail her?
Shut up. Finn doesn't want to hate himself right now, when Rey needs him.
"Rey?" Poe appears, shirtless.
Rey narrows her eyes and shakes her head. "Did you know?" she demands.
"What?" Poe looks to Finn as if he possesses some magical telepathic code that can help Poe figure out what she's talking about. "What are—"
"About my family. Who they were."
Poe drags his hands through his hair. "No? Who were they?"
"So you don't know either?" Rey turns to Finn, and there's fire flashing in her eyes. He shakes his head.
"Well, your boss knows," Rey informs Poe, rage sizzling, barely controlled. Her arms tremble. "They lied to me."
"What happened?" Finn grabs Rey's hand. "Rey. Please tell us. We want to listen. We want to help you."
"Ben told me. That asshole has more guts than the rest of them…" Rey shakes her head, and the story comes out.
"Holy shit," Poe says, gaping. Beebee-Ate curls up on Rey's feet. "Wow. Rey, I had no idea."
She sniffs. "I believe you."
"What do you want to do?" Finn questions.
"Tomorrow? I want to confront Luke. And Leia. And Han." Rey sets her jaw. Her tears aren't flowing anymore.
"Okay," Finn says. "I'll drive you in the morning."
"Fine." Rey rises. "I'll let you two get back to… whatever it was you were up to." She starts to smile. "You guys aren't as subtle as you think."
"Oh." Finn glances at Poe, who smirks.
At least Finn and Poe have each other, Rey tells herself as she tosses and turns, her skull throbbing. She loves those two. She really does, and she wants them to be happy.
Ben hasn't texted her. Rey bites her lip. Whatever she decides to do about him, she wants that boy to leave FO Tech.
When dawn breaks, Rey takes a shower and changes into her torn jean shorts and a loose top. Her eyes burn and her vision's blurred from crying so hard.
"Rey Kenobi," she says aloud to the mirror, watching the shape of her lips as she pronounces it, feeling how it sounds on her tongue. Not Rey Jakku.
Stay here, sweetheart. I'll come back.
Luke should have been there for her when her father wasn't—at the very least, he should have told her when he recognized her. Ben did. And of the two men, Rey would have guessed Ben to be the more cowardly.
It just stings that the people she's trusted, the people she's almost come to look at as the parents she's never had, kept this from her. And why?
Finn and Poe emerge from his room by eight. Rey rises from the couch.
"Can we just get breakfast first?" Poe requests as he ambles towards the bathroom.
"You don't have to come."
"Yeah, but I want to." He disappears inside.
"You guys are like two older brothers," Rey says to convince herself.
Finn offers her a smile.
"You two deserve each other, and I mean that in the best way," Rey adds.
Within an hour, they're in the car with Beebee-Ate. Poe called Leia to request that he be able to meet with her, Luke, and Han.
"They probably think it has to do with FO Tech," Poe says, guilt tinging his voice.
"Feel free to blame me afterwards, if they get pissy," Rey says.
"I wouldn't do that," Poe insists.
God, she feels like a ping-pong ball slapping back and forth. One moment she feels hopeful and the next, she's doused in a bucket of ice water and shivering with the realization that they've all kept this from her. And they knew how much it meant to her.
"Poe," Leia says as she greets them. "Finn… Rey."
"Are Luke and Han here?" Finn asks.
Leia nods. "And Chewie. Do you want to go into my office?"
"Yeah," Rey says.
"I don't really have news," Poe says quickly. "She needs to talk to you. All of you." He jerks his thumb towards Rey.
"Is everything all right?"
"No," Rey states, crossing her arms as Leia ushers them into her office. She sits and jiggles her leg, waiting for the others.
All three of them file in. Chewie is the only one who has the decency to grit his teeth, as if he knows precisely why they're here.
The door shuts with a click.
"Why didn't you tell me you worked with my grandfather?" Rey asks, glaring at Luke.
His face drains. No doubt he knows exactly who told her. Go ahead, Rey thinks. Say it aloud, if you haven't already told them, you old liar.
"Shit," says Han.
"You're the one who found out, aren't you?" Rey demands, her voice high-pitched and desperate. Like a child screaming that her father's coming back for her.
Han leans forwards and rests his forehead on his hand. "Rey…"
"At Niima Coffee Post," Rey realizes. "You weren't just getting coffee. You were checking for me, weren't you?"
Leia's jaw drops. "Han—"
"Rey—" Luke begins, but she slashes her hand through the air. Stop. You don't get to talk. This is my turn to fucking talk.
"Why? Because you felt guilty about your son?"
The moment she saws the words and sees Leia grip her desk, guilt slaps Rey. But then she sees the shell-shocked look in Han's eyes and knows it's true. "The family member… was it your son, or me? Even if I'm not family?"
"Both," Han confesses, blowing out his breath. "Both, Rey."
Poe groans, clutching Finn's shoulder.
"Rey," Luke tries. "Rey, I'm so sorry—I found out the day before I met you. Han contacted me."
"Oh, shit," Poe says.
Luke shakes his head. "Rey, what happened when you were a kid—I felt so guilty about it, about all of it. I never met your father, but I loved your grandfather—he was a better father to me than my own father. I had to see that you were all right, that—"
"So FO Tech had nothing to do with it?" Leia looks like she'd like to dropkick all of the men. "Han, Chewie—you found him before and you didn't tell me?"
"We gave him twenty-four hours," Chewie clarifies. "Else I would've told."
"So my work was useless," Poe comments.
"No, kid, your work actually helped us get leads," Han tells him.
"So what?" Rey shrieks, leaping to her feet. "I feel like I've been lied to this whole time! Like I'm a pawn that everyone's using in some game that I don't even understand!"
"You're not a pawn!" Luke insists. "We're just—we didn't—"
"We didn't know how to tell you," Leia admits quietly. Of everyone, she's the person Rey wants to smack the least.
"What, was all the fatherly advice from the two of you just a chance to make up for the fact that you failed your son and nephew?" Rey snarls.
Chewie moans and leans his head against the wall. Han's face grays.
"You can't atone for what you did with him," Rey says brokenly. "And I'm not a replacement."
"Of course you aren't!" Leia cries.
"They think of me like I am," Rey retorts. "Consciously or unconsciously, they both do." She shakes her head. "You should work on getting your son back, not on building a bridge with some stranger."
"That's not how I see you!" Luke cries. "Rey, we think you're a great kid. We do. We don't think you're some random nobody—"
"Why didn't you just tell me?" she cries.
"I was—I was afraid, Rey. Afraid that you'd know how much I failed you."
"Afraid of failing me like you failed your nephew?" Rey whispers. She doesn't even know whether she's hitting low or hitting the truth. Maybe both.
"I love my son," Han declares, voice shaking. "Don't you bring him—you don't even know him—"
The walls feel like they're pressing against Rey, flattening her, squishing her insides. She shakes her head, glowering at Luke, who folds his hands, knuckles whitening. "It doesn't matter. I'm—I'm going. I've caused enough damage for today."
She's outside, in the blinding heat, when she realizes Finn's followed her. "Rey."
Rey stops in the parking lot, turning and throwing her arms around Finn. My friend. She sobs into his neck. "Do you think—think it's wrong—of me—to be so angry?"
"You are angry, so who cares whether it's right or wrong?" Finn pushes her away and holds her shoulders.
"How did you leave FO Tech?" she asks. "Why?"
Finn shakes his head, and when he speaks, his voice is ragged. "Because I couldn't kill anyone. Because that's not me. And Rey, it's damaged me. Some days I don't know whether I'm ever gonna heal."
Rey nods, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth.
"Rey… Phasma threatened you. To me. The day you got hurt. According to Kylo, she didn't do it though, but I—she made me promise to turn over anything I heard from Poe, warn them, to protect you," Finn confesses. "But I didn't. I never did it. See, Rey, I'm just like them. I'm wrong."
God, why? Fucking why? Rey stares up at the sun, hoping it scorches her corneas.
"I'm so sorry, Rey—you're the first person I told that to," Finn gasps.
"You admitted it," Rey ekes out. "I appreciate that. I do." She wraps an arm around his neck and stands on tip-toe, kissing his forehead. "You're a good man, Finn. Poe's lucky to have you. You're not just lucky to have him, he's lucky to have you."
"I don't know if I can believe that," Finn says.
"I do." Rey swallows. "Can you text Poe and tell him you'll be back? I need you to drop me off."
"Glad to see you're here on a Saturday," Hux snipes.
"Shut up, Hux," Kylo returns. He barely slept all night.
"Good morning to you, too." Hux takes his cup of coffee from the company Keurig. "Date night last night?"
"Shut up." Kylo would love to dump coffee all over Hux's face. Except, there's no point. She hates you.
And for good reason.
I'm not a murderer! he'd insisted.
By proxy, you are. Almost her murderer, too.
"There's an important email in your inbox," Hux informs him. "Just so you don't miss it."
"Starkiller?"
"Mm-hm." Hux sips his coffee and grimaces.
If you go through with this, you'll be guilty by proxy for the murders of a thousand Lucas.
It's a miracle Rey's stayed with him this long, Kylo realizes.
"You gonna go check?" Hux goads him.
"Um—yes." Kylo nods.
"Having second thoughts?" Hux jeers, but there's something else in his voice, something that's maybe always been there but Kylo never picked up on before. Desperation.
"Are you?" Kylo asks, turning around to face him.
"Never," Hux states, without hesitating. But in Hux's eyes, doubt roils.
Neither of them will ever admit it out loud.
"Snoke's never led me wrong," Hux says. "My father would tell me that. When I started working for him." Unspoken, Kylo hears: I have to, don't you see?
What if we didn't have to? Aloud Kylo asks: "What if Snoke changes his mind?"
"He's got no reason to," Hux scoffs. An impossible dream.
We're trapped, Kylo thinks. Snoke's trapped us. Neither of us can leave. Neither of us can be with the women we love.
He heads to his office and fires up his computer. His cursor hovers over the email, but he can't click down on it.
What if you just do it? What if you cross that bridge?
There's no place to hide, and no place to go, and no reason.
Your own life is reason enough.
Don't you want to make your own decisions? Direct your own life?
You're trying to make me like you! I'm not like you! he screamed at his uncle once.
Has Snoke been any different?
If he doesn't respond to this email… if he just leaves…
It's too late.
Too late for you and your parents. Too late for Rey.
If he goes to the police, his life will be over, but it might not be too late to stop this Starkiller project. To stop Snoke, and FO Tech.
Kylo taps a pen against his desk, a lump in his throat. He wishes he was fifteen year old Ben Solo again, wishes he still had possibilities galore ahead of him.
But he doesn't. There are two paths, and he needs to choose.
Kylo walks out of his office.
"Early day?" Hux calls as he passes.
"Yeah." He doesn't have the courage to tell Hux what he's really thinking.
The moment he steps outside, an overwhelming fear cripples him. He doubles over in the parking lot, clutching the side door.
Don't go back inside. You can't.
Inexplicably Kylo thinks of that roommate of Rey's, the one who so disturbs Phasma. Finn.
If he can do it, so can Kylo. Or Ben. Whoever he is.