Disclaimer: Me no own Tolkien's work.

Chapter Quote: "... I couldn't do anything. I'm so sorry...so very sorry."

Chapter Fourteen

Green Leaves

Eventually the snow gradually began to melt. The air still held its frosty quality, but I distinctly remember the day whereupon, riding home, I had felt the sharp splatter of rain over the feathery touch of a snowflake.

One of the qualities of Spring's return to Mirkwood. What pleased me the most, however, was the mud. Because, though Elves look great on top of the snow, no one looks regal when sludging through the mud.

I continued with my drawing. There weren't exactly crayons or colored pencils in Gilloth, but I made out well with just plain quill and ink and something that resembled a thick lead pencil. If your at all interested in that sort of thing, the scenery of Gilloth was amazing. Even the forest had it's own beauty locked deep within the menacing trees, with their thick bark and dark leaves. I don't know why exactly I learned to draw. I guess sometimes I felt Gilloth was all I knew of this world, whether it be a dream or reality. It was just so strange, and I suppose drawing the things around me was my only way of escaping my confinement and exploring this place all around me.

I would ride Talorta out everyday to the old willow tree where Faerlain used to give me lessons. There I would sit under it's comforting branches and draw everything and anything I saw that possessed a beauty of it's own. I had grown into the habit of stuffing a saddle bag full of my creations. This I would sling over Talorta's broad shoulders every time I went for a ride...just in case.

My particular favorite was one I had drawn of Turwethiel and Elenowen. They had been sitting by the stream, the elfling in her mother's arms. Little Turwethiel had been staring at the water with wide eyes and a face that only came once, when one experienced something wonderful for the very first time. Her silence that day was my only token of her amazement. Elenowen had been looking down fondly at her, her eyes bursting with love. Her dark hair shone as the sun reflected on it, framing her face so that she looked like an angel.

I never showed it to anyone. I don't know whether it was out of jealousy, or out of some emotion that I was unaware of. But most of my pictures, remained hidden deep inside me, a part of myself I could show to no one. Mirlaic once said, "A picture speaks wisdom and beauty with a thousand words." I guess she was right. Besides Mirlaic and Araviniel, no one knew of my new found passion. So I kept it that way. I spent most of my time alone, for ever the friendliest Elf cannot always comfort the tormented soul of a lost mortal. Too poetic to describe me I suppose, but it was how the words described me. And it was what I was.

"Talorta, stop eating my paper!" I scolded as his freckled nose nudged through my saddle bag which lay by my side. He froze, turning his great big head and staring at me through his large brown eyes. They were innocent eyes and I couldn't help but laugh. I wondered what words he would have used if he too could speak. I looked once more at the stream, I had been lost in thought, scribbling away at a picture without really noticing it.

It was of Faerlain.

I blushed, folding it quickly and shoving it into my bag. Rising, I brushed myself off and looked around. The time spent at the flet now was mostly for lessons from Mirlaic and Araviniel. I absorbed everything I could about Middle Earth, anything they could tell or teach me, I listened to. Sometimes I felt like a caged animal in this village, but if I imagined hard enough, I could picture this entire world that was still so foreign and new to me.

"I guess we should head back." I slung the saddle bag over his shoulders and with the assistance of a log, slid onto his back. He started back through the woods towards the village when I felt very cold all of a sudden, having the distinct feeling that I was being watched. We were near the borders of the forest when I suddenly heard cries from deep within it. I slowed Talorta and stared into its depths.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Silence was my reply. Dead silence. Which was strange, where had all the birds gone? Where were the animals that scurried about on the forest floor? Mirkwood was a dark place, but the forest was not dead. It as alive with all sorts of creatures and just then they all seemed to had disappeared. I nudged Talorta forward, the crying had stopped. But I shuddered again as we move on. And we left the forest with not a single sound coming from behind us.

"Victoria, have you seen Ana?" Elenowen asked as I rode into the village square.

"No, I was by the stream." I said, I was going to laugh until the expression on her face silenced it. She was worried.

"It's probably nothing, she's just out playing with her friends is probably all." She looked up at me, concern blanketing his face. "I've been looking for her for a while, she left after noon with our horse and hasn't come back since."

I frowned, "That's not like Ana."

"I'm sure she's fine..." Elenowen said quickly, "But its just not like her, as you said. She rode out towards the forest."

"I'll go take a quick look for her."

Relief flooded into Elenowen's face. "Thank you so much Victoria, you are a good friend."

I smiled down at her, whirling Talorta around and then cantered back to the forest. As we neared the dense trees, the utter silence sent shivers down my spine. "Ana!" I shouted, the air so thick that no echo could be heard in reply. We wandered further inside when suddenly I heard rapidly approaching hoofbeats. Elenowen's horse bolted from our left and crashed into Talorta's side. The horse's eyes were wide with wild fright as it fell to it's knees after it's collision, stumbling back to it's feet. And then continuing its mad bolt back to the village.

Talorta was breathing deeply and I patted his neck, the other horse probably knocked the wind from his chest. Luckily, Elenowen's horse was not large, known only for it's speed so Talorta wasn't badly hurt, only bruised. And since the horse had crashed into Talorta's shoulder, I was otherwise unharmed. Fear welled up in my throat as I spurred Talorta in the direction the horse had come from.

"Ana!" I screamed. What was going on?

It was then I heard wailing from further in, and I pushed Talorta forward. I noticed the growl from the bushes too late to react. Before I could do anything a huge monster emerged, it looked like an over sized wolf with a back problem. It's eyes were small and dark, it's fangs huge, dripping with saliva as it roared at me. Talorta reared, starting at the sight of it and backing up. It snarled and yapped as it circled us, and then... it charged.

I froze in fright and my gaze turned upward toward the thing sitting upon it's back. It had pale grey skin with a metal bar covering it's right eye and screwed into it's skull. I couldn't speak, and as I tried to scream, no words would wrench themselves from my throat. It wore black, funny looking armor with lots of pikes and sharp objects ejecting from it. A jagged sword was held out before it as it charged at me.

I don't know what happened, but I was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe and with panic growing in my mind I realized that I was going to die. Talorta flattened his ears as the monster approached and lunged out at it with his front hooves. I slid from his back as I lost my balance and hit the ground with a painful thud.

My mind swam as I scrambled to return to the light. I could vaguely hear Talorta squealing, and the snarls of the monster as they fought. It was a living nightmare, I wanted to scream and to wake up. But I couldn't.

You never wake up from nightmares when you want to.

I struggled to push myself up...I grabbed a large branch at my feet as I straighted on my legs which were shaking violently. I couldn't move...I blinked. I was terrified out of my mind. And then something happened that will haunt me forever. Both beast and monster turned to me, shoving Talorta out of the way, they grinned.

My heart pounded fiercely against my chest, my lungs ready to burst. I wasn't suppose to face something like this. It was like in a book I read once, fear quenches all thoughts or hopes of bravery. This world couldn't be real. I would wake up...and it would all be gone. But it wasn't gone, and I wasn't dreaming. For that demon was sure as hell going to kill me. The monster started to charge. I could think of nothing except my own fear stabbing daggers inside of me, I couldn't breathe, couldn't scream.

And in one final, desperate attempt, I ran.

Crashing through the bushes, and I could hear them following me from behind. I swerved, backtracking and heading for the edge of the woods once more. From then on I have always hated tree roots with a passion, for as I ran, one tripped me. I fell.

I faced the monster with the stick held out in front of me. And that was when I squinted my eyes tight. It would over any second now- I didn't even know how I could possibly defend myself, I couldn't. Fear crippled me and I found myself frozen as the monster's face leered at me through the brush.

Three...two...one... There was a crash as the monster stumbled, it roared and snarled and its ghastly rider cursed in a guttural language I had never heard before. The stick was torn from my grasp, twisting the wrist which had guarded it and sending bolts of pain up through my arm. Something sticky...something wet was on my fingers. I heard a heavy thud that made me sick.

Right before I passed out.

When I opened my eyes again, Talorta was hovering over me. His freckled nose was nudging my still body with concern. I sat up, looking around. The monster lay dead, as well as his rider. My stick protruding from its throat. The grey beast looked like he had hit a tree, his eyes were open and staring unseeing at me with surprise, it's neck was misshapened. I took one more look at the corpses, and then at the dark blood that had run down my arm to my hand. Then I emptied the contents of my stomach with a wretching heave.

My throat burned, the taste of acid coating my mouth. I wiped my lips on my sleeve, sweat intermingled with salty tears coated my cheeks. I turned my pale face to the woods and called for Ana, feeling sudden panic as I realized I had no idea where she was.

I carefully avoiding looking at the corpses. I heard the wailing again and I staggered to my feet, weakly scrambling up on Talorta's back and urging him shakily towards the cries. It was there, though those dark trees, that I found Ana. She was sobbing uncontrollably with one of her legs twisted horribly. She looked up at me with wild eyes as we cantered over to her and let out another cry. This time it was of relief as I dismounted and ran to her, hugging her close to my chest.

I couldn't feel anything except Ana, huddled in my arms, as we reached the village once more. I was hunched over in my saddle, my eyes starting to close as Talorta finally plodded wearily into the village sqaure. It was dusk now, and the monster's dark blood was smeared across my face and arms. I rode slowly towards to Elenowen's house, and upon reaching it I called for her. "Elenowen!" I shouted hoarsely, my arm stinging as I dizzily struggled to stay mounted. I called for her again, rousing the other villagers for their flets.

Elenowen flew from her door and gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as she fought to hold back a strangled cry. "Victoria, Ana!" She cried in alarm. I had trouble concentrating on anything besides clutching to Ana's frozen body and to keep from getting sick everywhere as my own fear curdled still within me.

Mirlaic followed her from the house, her face set in stone as Elenowen pried Ana from my rigid grasp and Mirlaic rushed to my side. Talorta started at the villagers as they congregated around us and I thought of how that beast had charged me. How I could think of nothing, could do nothing, but lay helpless as it had barred its fangs. More than ready to end my life.

I slid from the horse, crumbling to my knees and heaving again in the snow, though I was sure there was no longer anything in my stomach to throw up. The tears came again and I distantly felt Mirlaic at my side, urging my to get up. I shivered, "I couldn't do anything..." I sobbed. "... I couldn't do anything. I'm so sorry...so very sorry."

I don't remember much else, someone picked me up I think- and I clawed desperately at the dark blood staining my arms. At some point, Mirlaic whispered to me, easing my trembling hands. I remember her warmth as she gently washed the grime from my body.

I heard voices, saw hazy figures around me.

And then nothing.

I awoke late the next day, or so I gathered from the bright light streaming in through my window. I sat up slowly, wincing as a sharp reminder jolted up through my arm. Propped up on my elbows, I examined my freshly bandaged arms curiously. Both my arms were bandaged, the one I had sprained more tightly than the other.

My soiled clothes had been exchanged for a nightgown and I almost couldn't smell its stench anymore. Almost. I sat up all the way as I began to hear voices in the foyer just outside of my bedroom door. There was a dress laid out for me at the foot of the bed, but I felt too disoriented to try and put it on. I opted instead for a robe and swept loose strands of hair away from my face.

I shivered as I padded slowly across the cold, wooden floors until I slipped my feet into some slippers. I walked quietly from my bedroom, announcing my presence in Mirlaic's common room with the soft creaking of my bedroom door. There were several elves seated, some standing, by the hearth within. All turned to face me as I stepped out and closed the door behind me.

"Victoria." Came Mirlaic's gentle voice, floating across the room towards me as she appeared at my side. "You look better." She informed me quietly and I squeezed her hand in reply. "The elders have some questions for you." She told me and nodded towards the elves sternly watching me from their places.

One moved to let me sit, and I thanked him softly as I took the seat and answered whatever questions I could from them. There was only one monster- orc as I was informed. I shuddered as I realized that those things were what Faerlain was fighting at this very moment. After I recounted the events to them as carefully as I could, they deduced that the orc must have been a scout. They asked me if I had really killed it, and I nodded.

They asked me I could find the body, to confirm their suspicions. "I could try." I offered meekly. Mirlaic squeezed my shoulders.

"Body or no, we need to be prepared for whatever comes."

"Agreed." Said one of the elders. "We'll build defenses immediately."

I had left deep scratches on my arms from my frantic clawing that's what the bandages had been for. After another day I was beginning to feel like my old self again and in far less worse shape that poor Ana, though she was healing fast as well.

Gilloth built its defenses. While we had not received any real news for some time, rumors of attacks spread like fire throughout the forest. Everyone knew what kind of dangers awaited us if we were really attacked. (I myself had a much better idea of what this war was like now.)

I helped in any way that I could. The villagers were very methodical and precise about the whole business- it was obvious that they had done this before. The elder men sharpened their arrows and children sharpened sticks into miniature spears. For days, sentries were posted and the villagers remained alert and armed through the night.

The days passed. After two weeks the tension eased and though no one let down their guard entirely, life did begin to return to business as usual. But the remaining battlements surrounding the village served as a chilling reminder.

If the orcs were still a threat to us, than this war, which so many loved ones fought in, was far from over.

So very far.

TO BE CONTINUED...