I followed Derek up the stairs as he carried Emma to bed. She was sleeping soundly in his arms, snuggled into his chest. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I felt the hole in my heart that Derek could fill but squashed it as quickly as it came. Denial was always my strongest suit. I watched as Derek tucked her in and laid a kiss on her forehead. I did the same before whispering goodnight. As we descended the stairs, muffled voices met our ears. There was a crash as Izzie came into view tripping over the table by the door.
"Izzie, come on Izzie." Alex helped her up.
"I'm fine!" Izzie slurred. "I've never been better. Do you want to have sex?"
"No Iz, I don't."
"Oh! I see, I'm not good enough for you. Well, you can piss off you self-righteous-son-of-a-"
"What the hell happened?" I hissed at Alex.
"I'm sorry Mer. We went to Joes and she had too much to drink."
"I can see that. Why didn't you stop her?"
"I tried, she just"
"Just go. You've done enough." Derek helped me take Izzie to her room as Alex dejectedly exited.
xXx
"Mer, phone." George said as he opened my bedroom door letting in the morning light. I sat up in bed squinting and grabbed the phone from him. "Hey." I answered muggily.
"Morning sunshine." Came the familiar voice of Derek.
"Hmm" I mumbled, smiling to myself.
"I was wondering if you wanted to join me for a hearty hospital cafeteria breakfast on this fine morning."
"Sounds tempting. I'll see you in an hour?"
"Sure."
xXx
I entered the cafeteria trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. Last night felt so right together I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was three tables away when a familiar brunette came in to view.
"Derek." She smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
"What are you doing Rachel?" he asked.
"I'm kissing my fiancé." She smiled.
"We're not engaged anymore. We're over, we discussed this."
"Do you really think I was going to let you get away?" she smiled pulling him in to a searing kiss. I watched on in horror, as he didn't resist before I finally gained control over my body and ran into the nearest supply closet. Shit. What just happened? Why didn't he pull away? I rested my head in my arms and cried.
xXx
"Meredith. Mer, wake up." I lifted my head to see Cristina leaning over me with worried eyes. "We've been paging you for hours."
"What?"
"You fell asleep."
"Oh crap. How long was I out?"
"A couple of hours. What's with you?"
"Nothing. Everything. Oh god, I don't know." I ran my hands over my face trying to make sense of the situation.
"What time is it?"
"Twelve."
"Dammit, I'm late picking up Em." I rushed to my car and sped out of the parking lot towards dad's house. As I pulled up to the curb, I recognised Derek's car in front. Where did he get off? I stepped out and knocked on the door. Derek answered with Emma on his hip.
"Hey mummy." He smiled.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to pick up my daughter. I thought we could all go out for dinner."
"Aren't you forgetting something? Or is Rachel coming along too?"
"Mer, I was just as surprised as you were."
"Yeah, so surprised you couldn't keep your lips off her." I grabbed Emma out of his arms and started heading towards the car.
"She kissed me!"
"You didn't exactly resist."
"I was caught off guard."
"It doesn't matter anymore. She obviously wants you back and there's nothing I can do. It's not like anything happened between us anyway."
"We have a daughter, is that not serious enough for you?"
"You hardly know her! I was the one who had to go through everything alone because you moved to another state to get away from me!"
"I needed to save my marriage."
"How did that go for you?"
"That's not fair. You know I would have stayed if I knew you were pregnant."
"Yes, that's just it. I needed to know if you'd stay for me because you loved me, not out of obligation to me."
"Why do you think I came back?"
"Because you're the best neurosurgeon on the East Coast?"
"Because I wanted to see you again. I missed you."
"Listen Derek, it's not going to work. I can't afford to be in a relationship with a man who's bailed on every other one he's been in, and neither can Emma." And I left him standing in front of my father's house as I drove away with our daughter, tears running down my face.