Chapter Fourteen

"Kate," Castle called her name excitedly as he barreled down the stairs.

"What?" she asked, "What on earth is up, Castle?"

"I found something," he said, sitting next to her on the couch.

She looked puzzled.

"About my father," he clarified.

"Oh."

"Yeah. He was involved in theatre – not surprising, considering mother, but now I have specific names and places."

"How'd you find this?"

"Hour after hour of looking through practically every edition of every newspaper ever published in the state of New York. I had his name – that's really all mother told me – and I just found it in announcement for a play in one of the arts sections."

"That's good. What are you going to do with that information?"

He faltered slightly, "I'm not sure. I was just so glad to have discovered something."

"Are there other names in that article? People you can talk to and ask questions to find out more about your father?"

He smiled, "You know, you could be a detective."

"Most people just say thank you, Castle," she said, rolling her eyes playfully at him.

00000000

"You've been avoiding your dad," he told her as they sat together later that afternoon. A few months ago, he never would have said something along those lines – it was too personal, too direct for the walls and boundaries that they were careful not to cross – but their relationship had changed. Now, though, Rick felt as though he could say these kinds of things. He doubted that she would be thrilled, but it needed saying, and he knew they would be ok in the end.

She frowned.

"Kate," he said gently.

She was silent for a few minutes and then sighed, "Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, Rick."

He looked at her attentively, waiting for her to continue.

"You don't know your father. He could be anyone, anything. There's so much possibility there – it's practically limitless. But sometimes when you know it hurts. I thought I knew my dad, but everything that happened happened. My mom was killed. And I hate that he responded to it the way that he did – he was there for a bit, but then he turned to drinking…"

Her voice trailed off, and then suddenly she looked angry, "He left me in this all alone."

"Kate," he replied, "I can't justify or condone it, and I hate that it was something else that hurt you. But, I just…think about what you're doing."

"Why do I always have to be the bigger person?" she asked darkly.

He sighed sadly, "I don't know. But you have the kind of strength it takes."

"You and Lanie are both such optimists."

"We just see what you don't. There are no exaggerations here."

She looked down, hesitantly biting her lip.

"You're extraordinary."

Her eyes met his. She smiled shyly, "You're not so bad yourself."

He smiled at her, and a few moments of comfortable silence went by.

She sighed, "I should call him."

"You know I'm here if you need anything. As are Lanie and everyone else."

"That goes both ways," she replied, "I know you miss her."

"Yeah…"

"How are you doing?"

"Ok, considering the situation, I think. I don't know. I felt like I could trust her with anything, and now that's been shattered."

She nodded knowingly.

"You feel like you know someone, and then they hurt you," he said, referring to both of their situations, "I'm not sure there's anything that can fix that pain."

She nodded, "You have to learn to be ok with it. Come to terms with what happened and what they did. I just wish that wasn't easier said than done."

"At least we're not in this alone."

00000000

He woke up to a scream that made his heart tighten.

"Kate?" he called out as he quickly made his way out of bed. He had called her name earlier in the day when he'd made his discovery, but now he wasn't excited – he was worried.

He glanced at the clock. 3:00 AM.

"Kate?" he asked again, knocking on her bedroom door and then opening it. He found her sitting up in bed, looking upset.

"Hey," he said, moving to sit next to her.

"Oh, god," she said, her voice shaking, "I dreamt that you guys all…you and Lanie and Javi and Ryan, you guys had all been killed."

"Hey, it's ok. We're all alright," he reassured her.

She let out a little sob, "I've already lost my parents. I'm afraid everyone else is going to leave somehow."

"Never," he replied instantaneously, pulling her lithe frame into his arms.

"Rick?" she asked softly a few moments later.

"Yeah?"

"Could you stay? I-I mean right now."

"Always," he said, wrapping his arms around her protectively as they lay down to sleep again, collectively trying to battle their demons.

00000000

Later that morning, the first thing Kate noticed was that she was still tightly enveloped in Rick's arms. He was still lying next to her in bed, fast asleep.

The second thing that dawned on her was how safe she felt – she didn't remember feeling this secure since her mother's murder.

"Good morning," he said, voice still groggy.

"Hey," she replied.

They looked at one another, each wondering if they were going to discuss what had happened the prior night.

"Thank you," she said.

He nodded. He suddenly felt a lot of different emotions, and he didn't say anything.

00000000

"So not that I don't like your impromptu visits, but what's up?" Ryan asked Rick that afternoon. The latter had made his way to his friend's dorm earlier that day, and Ryan could tell that something was on his mind.

He shrugged and didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Do you think," he spoke up, "How soon is it to…do you think I owe Kyra anything?"

Ryan frowned slightly, "My first impulse is to say no, but it actually depends on the specifics."

"Well, she messed up. God, I'm not denying that. But we'd been in a good relationship for practically four years, and that meant something. How loyal am I supposed to be after the fact, though?" he wondered aloud.

Ryan waited for him to continue, knowing that he would.

"I mean, if there were someone else, and I'm not even sure there is, but if there were…do you think it's too soon for me to have feelings for someone else…am I being disloyal to what Kyra and I had?"

"No, you're not. She chose to act in ways that common sense says would cause a relationship to fall apart, so you don't owe her anything. You're not dishonoring what you guys had by falling in love again. But you know, man, this all is going to lead me to ask you another question."

"I figured it would. And…I think I might be falling in love with Kate."

A/N: I might actually have a decent amount of free time this semester. What is this?!

Review if you have a moment - I always like to know what you guys are thinking.